(Untitled)

[anticlaw]

I expected there to be things missing (you can keep the gravy boat but I WANT MY FUCKING LAMPSHADE BACK). I expected a mess (it's a fucking sty most of the time anyway). I did not expect to wake up, slightly hungover from exorbitant amounts of pilfered liquor from Potter, and FIND THIS.

Comments

[steadied]

Er.

At least he thought of you?

[anticlaw]

At least he did.

[steadied]

Do you need help with it? I can come right over.

[steadied]

Well, come over with Em, we can bring the dinner over and all of us can eat! We understand a friend in crisis.

[dunged]

BIRDS

LIKE

ANIMALS

[anticlaw]

WE TALKED ABOUT THIS, DUNG.

[dunged]

YOU EXPECT ME TO FUCKING REMEMBER THESE THINGS

[dunged]

AND I PAID TOP FUCKING GALLEON FOR THE FINEST FUCKING BABY PIG IN ALL OF LONDON

[anticlaw]

WELL, THANK GOD YOU DIDN'T STEAL IT FROM SOME INNOCENT FARM GIRL.

[dunged]

WHO THE FUCK DO YOU TAKE ME FOR

[anticlaw]

How big will it get?

[dunged]

DON'T LOSE IT OR EAT IT LOVE

[anticlaw]

I WON'T FUCKING EAT IT.

[dunged]

well if you do invite me the fuck over cos it looks tender

[anticlaw]

Oh, shut up. I'm not that much of a cunt.

[dunged]

also did you notice I put a bell on its curly tail so you always know where the fuck it is

[anticlaw]

I did.

[anticlaw]

Are pigs supposed to be soft like this? This had better not be some sort of novelty piglet.

[dunged]

HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW