Continent fic!
Title: Moving Apart
Rating: PG-13
Warning: not recommended for geologists or anyone really patriotic.
Word count: 486
Pairing: Australia/Antarctica, Australia/Antarctica/India, Australia/New Zealand, Australia/Tasmania, Australia/Indonesia
AN: Not so much a relationship fic as a detailing of Australia's various conquests. My country is a right bastard when it comes to love. This is being posted in honour of the geology exam I had earlier today, and is dedicated to my lecturer, whose description of Antarctica 'nestled in the Great Australian Bight' was what inspired this in the first place.
Australia sat disconsolately in the middle of the Indian Ocean. The rift between him and Antarctica was getting larger every year, but he didn’t know what he could do to fix it. All the other continents said Antarctica was a frigid bitch, but Australia remembered the good old days. Once upon a time, there had been three of them: Australia, Antarctica and India. Antarctica had covered herself with forests and they’d huddled together for warmth, with Antarctica nestled in his Great Australian Bight (as he liked to call it). India said it was stupid to name part of your own coastline, but what did he know? He’d been off like a shot after he saw Asia, and good riddance.
After India left Antarctica got a little colder, and gave up on dinosaurs, but Australia still loved her. The problem was that with India gone, he got bored with the standard position. Antarctica didn’t want to try anything else, though, and Australia respected that. But the fact remained that he needed more than temperate forests to excite him, and he’d started to look elsewhere. Antarctica had tolerated his relationship with Tasmania (‘it’s not technically an affair’), but she’d completely flipped when she discovered that he’d been shagging New Zealand on the side.
‘I never want to see you again!’ she shrieked, and flounced off to sulk at the South Pole for the next six billion years. She’d cut off all her forests and gone for ice instead, which Australia had to admit was pretty hardcore. Unwilling to endure her icebergs and freezing winds, Australia drifted northwards. Tasmania bored him now, and he’d tried to restart the relationship with New Zealand without success. ‘Australia, you’re a great guy, but I want to see landmasses my own age,’ New Zealand explained.
‘But young continents are so boring, baby!’ Australia complained. ‘What have they got that I haven’t?’
‘Tact, for one thing,’ New Zealand replied dryly, and sauntered off to talk to Polynesia.
New Zealand also said that Australia had given him possums, which was incredibly rude and completely beside the point even if it was true.
Reflecting on all this, Australia decided that yes, maybe he had been a bit of an arse. If only he could start afresh... well, Antarctica was still definitely out, and she’d given him penguins anyway. New Zealand seemed to be happy to play with himself, and Tasmania had tried (again) to break away.
Hadn’t there been talk about some landmass that had recently moved in? Indonesia, that was her name. Didn’t she live near him?
Australia looked around. Indonesia was definitely there in the north, but she was too far away to hear him. He shrugged and began to drift northward. He wasn’t as young as he used to be and his top speed was only 5cm per year, but he had discovered early in his life that all good things take time.
Rating: PG-13
Warning: not recommended for geologists or anyone really patriotic.
Word count: 486
Pairing: Australia/Antarctica, Australia/Antarctica/India, Australia/New Zealand, Australia/Tasmania, Australia/Indonesia
AN: Not so much a relationship fic as a detailing of Australia's various conquests. My country is a right bastard when it comes to love. This is being posted in honour of the geology exam I had earlier today, and is dedicated to my lecturer, whose description of Antarctica 'nestled in the Great Australian Bight' was what inspired this in the first place.
Australia sat disconsolately in the middle of the Indian Ocean. The rift between him and Antarctica was getting larger every year, but he didn’t know what he could do to fix it. All the other continents said Antarctica was a frigid bitch, but Australia remembered the good old days. Once upon a time, there had been three of them: Australia, Antarctica and India. Antarctica had covered herself with forests and they’d huddled together for warmth, with Antarctica nestled in his Great Australian Bight (as he liked to call it). India said it was stupid to name part of your own coastline, but what did he know? He’d been off like a shot after he saw Asia, and good riddance.
After India left Antarctica got a little colder, and gave up on dinosaurs, but Australia still loved her. The problem was that with India gone, he got bored with the standard position. Antarctica didn’t want to try anything else, though, and Australia respected that. But the fact remained that he needed more than temperate forests to excite him, and he’d started to look elsewhere. Antarctica had tolerated his relationship with Tasmania (‘it’s not technically an affair’), but she’d completely flipped when she discovered that he’d been shagging New Zealand on the side.
‘I never want to see you again!’ she shrieked, and flounced off to sulk at the South Pole for the next six billion years. She’d cut off all her forests and gone for ice instead, which Australia had to admit was pretty hardcore. Unwilling to endure her icebergs and freezing winds, Australia drifted northwards. Tasmania bored him now, and he’d tried to restart the relationship with New Zealand without success. ‘Australia, you’re a great guy, but I want to see landmasses my own age,’ New Zealand explained.
‘But young continents are so boring, baby!’ Australia complained. ‘What have they got that I haven’t?’
‘Tact, for one thing,’ New Zealand replied dryly, and sauntered off to talk to Polynesia.
New Zealand also said that Australia had given him possums, which was incredibly rude and completely beside the point even if it was true.
Reflecting on all this, Australia decided that yes, maybe he had been a bit of an arse. If only he could start afresh... well, Antarctica was still definitely out, and she’d given him penguins anyway. New Zealand seemed to be happy to play with himself, and Tasmania had tried (again) to break away.
Hadn’t there been talk about some landmass that had recently moved in? Indonesia, that was her name. Didn’t she live near him?
Australia looked around. Indonesia was definitely there in the north, but she was too far away to hear him. He shrugged and began to drift northward. He wasn’t as young as he used to be and his top speed was only 5cm per year, but he had discovered early in his life that all good things take time.