I've been seeing the topic of virginity in the news a lot lately and for some reason, I find it deeply troubling. A recent article dealt with "born-again virgins" and now this one. I'm not sure exactly why I find it troubling, but maybe it's because so many societies and religions have such a taboo on sexuality and most of the anxiety and expectations are forced upon the women. The man quoted at the end of the article stated that he would feel like less of a man if his wife wasn't a virgin when they got married. He doesn't state whether or not he was a virgin, which to me begs the question. Perhaps it's the double standards that are getting to me. And that so many cultures are so concerned about sexuality.
I noticed that bit at the end too - it "makes you feel less of a man" to marry a nonvirgin. In the end, it has nothing to do with the women, and everything to do with the men. Specifically, how they define these standards for women in order to keep them in line so they (the men) can feel good about themselves (by dominating/supressing the women). How the woman feels about it isn't relevant - what, women have their own desires? It should be easy for women to say no to sex because women don't have much sexual desire to speak of - at least not the uncontrollable desire that men have (so it's perfectly fine if men aren't virgins, it's really, really hard to resist these urges!). And, if you make sexual history a big part of the woman's identity, then it's easy not to acknowledge her for who she is - that is, actually judge her character or personality - and makes it easier to dismiss her. Women born into this culture accept it and help perpetuate it, by enforcing these man-made 'social norms' and judgments on their daughters.
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