Navy Boys Problem Page aka Uncle Philemon's Mailbag

[anteros_lmc]

So, nodbear and I set out to write a problem page for Navy Boys. Think of the opportunities for smut and innuendo!! Bad move. Neither of us read glossy mags and the smut fairies deserted us in disgust. The resulting problem pages appears to be more appropriate for a gentleman's magazine than for Navy Boys. *hangs head in shame* Still, we hope the

Comments

[gayalondiel]

*bookmarks for when am awake and can appreciate properly*

[anteros_lmc]

Might be better to read it when you're half asleep, it's very silly :}

[nodbear]

I recommend a few glasses of tawny port - thats how Sir Edward manages to cope !
Hope you do enjoy it when you get round - but as my fellow failed- hack says, it is very silly.

[anteros_lmc]

Indeed. A glass of tawny or three should do the trick!

[_likimeya]

*rofl* The classic! :D
How did you write it? Did one of you do the quesions and the other the answers?

It must be hard being uncle Philemon... If I had to deal with stuff like that, my universal answer would be, “*head-->desk* Oh, for goodness’ sake, stop whining already and do your job, you big baby!“ :p

This, for example:
However I am sure that he despises me, base creature that I am, and indeed he frequently treats me with the scorn and derision I no doubt deserve.
Oh, come on!!!

Hopefully they follow through with all his instructions...
maybe making sure to take a bottle of Mr Cookworthy’s no 4 lotion and indeed some spare paper as mentioned above
For once! Practical advice on a problem page! :D

I take it there is going to be a report to Uncle Philemon about how that shore leave went?
*sits back, wags tail and pants expectantly*

[anteros_lmc]

Hehe! Glad someone saw the joke :D

How did you write it?
I did the questions and nodbear was channeling "Uncle Philemon".

Oh, come on!!!
Poor "Unrequited" was feeling a but sorry for himself that night ;)

Practical advice on a problem page! :D
You need to ask nodbear but I believe the reference to Mr Cookworthy's No 4 and paper stashed in hats is real advice that Pellew wrote to his son. What a practical father.

I take it there is going to be a report to Uncle Philemon about how that shore leave went?
But of course. There will be a full report signed in triplicate and submitted to the Admiralty for approval! ;)

[nodbear]

How did you write it?

It grew out of our fooling around when Navy boys was first mooted when we did a mock version
and the hacks digging dirt and the anguished captain sort of emerged organically.

Ahem - as to the advice section - yes Mr Cookworthy of Plymouth really did exist as did his treatments for things various - and I did not make up the paper in the hat either !

The rest is perhaps a bit of a spin on things - though I have no doubt Pownall and Fleetwood got lectures about more intimate matters too - fortunately for their dignity they are not among surviving texts !

I think there will be a report on that shore leave at some stage - indeed the National archives probably has a classified section somewhere with it archived.

Glad it was funny - we did hope so !

[anteros_lmc]

How did you write it?
We seem to be blessed with a talent for complete daftness! ;)

indeed the National archives probably has a classified section somewhere with it archived.

Suggest we plan a mission to locate classified archives forthwith. You can be our undercover agent nodbear.

[lady_branwyn]

I have done my best - though I am clearly captain of the most angst-ridden ship in His Majesty's Navy - I do not know why this should be so

Bwahha! One word--Hornblower.
This is great.

[anteros_lmc]

One word--Hornblower
Another word--daft ;)

Glad you enjoyed!

[nodbear]

Not to say crazy :0)

but also glad you found it fun

[sharpiefan]

Oh that is a wonderful opening to the challenge! Poor Corporal 'Miserable' - and do Unrequited and Confused (Kennedy and Hornblower - for it must be they!) - get their shore leave together and work out the differences?

Also, 'Scabby'. Stop play-acting at being a terrier and those rat-bites will soon clear up of their own accord.

[anteros_lmc]

Oh that is a wonderful opening to the challenge!
Scabby felt someone had to rise to the bait ;)

do Unrequited and Confused - get their shore leave together and work out the differences?
You're the editor! If you want to send a reporter to do some undercover investigation I'll happily volunteer :D

[nodbear]

Hey Ed, only if I get to go too - undercover investigation is all very well at the national archives, but it doesn't compare! I volunteer too:} * looks resignedly hopeful*

[anteros_lmc]

Oi! Get in line! I volunteered first! Mind you, suppose we could share the job. I'll take the pics, you can write the copy ;)

[nodbear]

ps the new icon,which I need to improve, is permanently set to the music of " Some enchanted evening" and should be called " across a crowded deck"...

[anteros_lmc]

Awww, how appropriate! And appropriate for Uncle Philemon too....

Who can explain it?
Who can tell you why?
Fools give you reasons,
Wise men never try.

[nodbear]

Sir Edward writes:

Alas, dear Lady, how very true.

But if they ask so very prettily, would you want to turn them away?