I'm a horrible person and want to read a future threesome into the last line. I cried out in triumph when Akari smacked Hikaru, and I feel bad for poor, jealous Touya. Poor Hikaru, too, losing someone else he loves. *Cries*
There's a certain sternness through the voice to this piece that puts me off. It's typical to have that within Touya's voice, or to have bits and pieces of it within dialogue during tense situations in fic, but the use throughout here really threw me from truly enjoying this piece. Having said that, I do think that losing a child would be one of the few situations that might throw Hikaru into enough despair to stop playing again, and the almost tongue-in-cheek reference to the challenge was pleasing.
Poor Hikaru. It's a good thing Akira and Akari are there for him. I also felt truly sorry for Akari, who not only lost a son but had to deal with Hikaru's survivor guilt.
I don't like Akari, but I actually enjoyed her here. Definitely well done there. I'm not sure I totally buy Hikaru acting this way, but grief can do terrible things to a person, so it's definitely possible.
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- Bregalnica
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- Patra
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[lusutfu]
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