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Comments 10

anonymous May 5 2011, 07:21:02 UTC
Ahaha! Brilliant!

Interjecting the boys' comments took something fun and bumped it up to a whole 'nother level. Well done!

/it's a house made of cookies and stuff/

Of course he'd want the house. XDDD

-kami-zumo

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verloren1983 May 22 2011, 05:38:12 UTC
It's SUGAR. Of course Hikaru wants it. :P

Thank you~ <3

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littlerhymes May 5 2011, 13:28:58 UTC
This is an adorable retelling and all the asides made me LOL, starting from That's what I thought. :D

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verloren1983 May 22 2011, 05:43:29 UTC
Hee, I'm glad you enjoyed it. <3

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issen4 May 6 2011, 16:52:49 UTC
This is adorable, and the asides really made me laugh.

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verloren1983 May 22 2011, 05:44:03 UTC
Thanks, Luce! <3

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anonymous May 6 2011, 20:51:44 UTC
This was adorable! I love how distinct the different voices were. It was very funny and clever.

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verloren1983 May 22 2011, 05:45:56 UTC
I'm glad it wasn't confusing, dialogue tags didn't really work with the story format, so that had been a concern. Thanks! <3

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anonymous May 15 2011, 18:46:59 UTC
Perhaps if small children would stay quiet and listen to stories like good little boys, things like that wouldn't happen.

LOL!!!

Verrrrryyyy nicely done. Very funny. =) Poor narrator, of course!!

ayatori

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verloren1983 May 22 2011, 05:47:52 UTC
I think that's my favorite line, personally. ^_~

Thank you! <3 Though I'm quite sure the narrator is used to such antics from those two.

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