[kaedama]
by aithine
No ghost was ever seen
"No ghost was ever seen by two pairs of eyes." -Thomas Carlyle
Hikaru had been acting strangely all week.
Granted, that wasn't unusual for this time of year-and it wasn't like Hikaru ever acted like a normal person on a regular day anyway-but this was a bit more than the wackiness Akira was used to dealing with during Golden Week.
He'd learned over the years that, if they didn't have matches or a conference to attend, Hikaru would spend the week on his own. He didn't seem to actively avoid people, though, and if Akira ran into him, Hikaru just seemed slightly subdued. Not exactly melancholy, but unusually thoughtful, like he was missing someone who'd been dead for a while but not quite long enough for sadness to give way to fond memories.
Akira knew that it had something to do with Sai, and it was driving him crazy. Six years he'd been waiting to hear the story. He hadn't said a word in all that time, not since Hikaru had said that he might tell him about Sai "someday." He knew Hikaru would keep his promise-he just didn't know if it would happen before they turned ninety.
Akira gritted his teeth and held back a yell of frustration. He wasn't a child-their shouting matches at the go salon had long since ceased to be an every day occurrence-so he should be able to keep a hold on his temper by now, no matter how much Hikaru provoked him. He'd been raised to be polite and had never had problems remaining so in all situations-until Hikaru had come along. Then again, Hikaru had always been an exception to everything, which explained why Akira was in this ridiculous situation, skulking down the street, following Hikaru like a detective hired to track a cheating spouse.
Of course, if Hikaru would just tell him what was going on, it wouldn't be a problem any more, but no, he had to keep his precious Sai a secret and-wow, he was really losing it. He couldn't remember ever sounding this petulant, even in his own thoughts.
It occurred to him that he was-just maybe-a little jealous of Sai.
If by "a little jealous," you meant "consumed by the fire of a thousand burning suns."
Which was utterly ridiculous; whoever Sai had been, he wasn't around now. He hadn't been for years. Hikaru was focused on Akira and Akira's go-on their go-not Sai's. He knew that.
And yet-here he was, watching as Hikaru entered one of the many anonymous buildings on the street. Akira kept walking until he was close enough to see the signs for the businesses that had offices there. The building housed everything from an art gallery to a travel agency, but none of them looked like a place Hikaru would visit. Akira bit his lip and stared pensively toward the busy street, barely aware of the crowds rushing by as he pondered his next move. Maybe he should-
"Hey, Touya. What're you doing here?"
He spun around to see Hikaru grinning at him from two steps away as the door shut behind him. "Oh, hi. I was, uh-" A man jostled Akira as he entered the building, knocking him into Hikaru. He felt heat surge across his face as he flushed with embarrassment at finding himself plastered chest to chest with Hikaru.
Hikaru, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind. He pushed Akira back just far enough so he could grab his arm, then promptly dragged him out onto the sidewalk. "Come on, let's go somewhere a little less crowded."
"I saw a coffee shop not far from here. About two blocks down, I think." Akira caught his breath and matched his stride to Hikaru's, though he didn't try to remove his arm from Hikaru's grasp.
"Nah, there's a park not far from my place. It should be pretty empty by the time we get there."
At least it didn't seem like Hikaru was likely to give him grief for following him on his secret errand. Akira shrugged and let himself be dragged to the nearest train station.
*
They didn't speak at all on the way to the park. Akira tried to focus on the people surrounding them on the crowded train, but he found his gaze returning to Hikaru time and time again, watching as his friend bounced in place. Hikaru always radiated an energy that seemed to invigorate everyone around him, but this was far more frantic than usual, like he was having a hard time keeping himself contained.
The short walk from the station to the park did nothing to disperse Hikaru's excess energy, which was starting to worry Akira. Whatever Hikaru wanted to talk about, it was obviously incredibly important to him. They settled on an empty bench not far from the playground equipment, and he watched as Hikaru rummaged in his bag before pulling out a heavy cardboard tube. He removed the end cap, gently drew out a scroll, and handed it to Akira.
Akira couldn't contain his gasp of surprise as he carefully unrolled the scroll. It was a watercolor of smiling Heian courtier seated at a goban, dressed in shades of lavender, red, and deep purple. His hair was gathered with a tie at waist level, then puddled on the ground beside him, while shorter strands escaped from beneath the tall black tate eboshi to frame his face. In the slender fingers of his right hand he held a fan, and branches laden with cherry blossoms arched above his head, their petals strewn across the ground.
Akira squinted at the elegant calligraphy along the bottom left side of the scroll. It said simply, "Fujiwara no Sai." His gaze flew to Hikaru's face. "Shindou! Is this-"
"Yeah." Hikaru nodded slowly. "That's-that's Sai."
"But how, what, I mean-" Akira sighed and tried to collect his thoughts. "I thought he wasn't a real person, that he was...inside you."
"Sai was a ghost tied to an old goban that I found in my grandfather's attic. I was the only one who could see or hear him." Hikaru waved his hand in frustration. "Everything that happened is kind of hard to explain, but he was with me every day for two years."
"He was your teacher, wasn't he?"
"Yeah. But mostly-mostly he was my friend."
"You must miss him very much," Akira said softly.
A jerky nod was his only reply.
"So, you're finally going to tell me all about him?" Akira returned the scroll to its case and handed it over. "Took you long enough."
Hikaru flashed him a grateful smile as he stuffed the scroll in his backpack. "I was planning to tell you about Sai this weekend. Mori-san finished the painting last week, but this is the first free time I had to pick it up."
Akira cocked his head to the side, as if that could help him understand Hikaru's perspective. "Why the visual aid? Why not just tell me?"
Hikaru chuckled and looked away, rubbing a hand over the nape of his neck as his cheeks flushed, before turning back to Akira. "I wanted-it's important that you see Sai. You deserve to know all of him, not just his go. He would have wanted you to."
Oh. Oh. "Thank you."
Hikaru shrugged. "I told you I'd tell you about him someday."
Akira rolled his eyes. "Remind me to pin you down on a firmer timeline the next time something like this comes up."
"I don't plan on being haunted again anytime soon, and I only have one other secret that I haven't told you, so it's not like-" Hikaru's face blanched and he stuttered uncharacteristically as he continued. "I mean, um, I don't have anything else that I need to tell you, so just forget I said that, okay? I have to go now, so I'll-"
Akira jumped up as Hikaru started to flee and grabbed Hikaru's arm, holding it tightly so he couldn't escape. But Hikaru gave up without a fight, his shoulders slumping as he looked at Akira from under his bangs, and he heaved a dramatic sigh. "I don't suppose you'll let it go?"
Akira shook his head slowly. Hikaru nodded like he expected that answer, and straightened his shoulders as he turned to face Akira. His expression was focused and eerily similar to the one Akira was used to seeing across the board when Hikaru made a move that looked like it was a mistake that would lose the game-until it turned out twenty hands later to be brilliant beyond comprehension.
"Fine." Hikaru made a resigned face. "But don't blame me if you get mad."
"What do you m-"
Hikaru's lips on his stopped the retort. Akira stood there and let himself be kissed, frozen in shock until Hikaru started to pull away. He grabbed the straps of Hikaru's backpack, keeping them both in place as they stared at each other in silence. Akira's heart was racing and his stomach was queasy and he felt like he would burst with joy. Finally.
"I-" Akira licked his lips and swallowed nervously. "I have a secret to tell you, too."
The grin he received nearly blinded him as Hikaru leaned in for another kiss. "It's okay, Touya, I already know it."
No ghost was ever seen
"No ghost was ever seen by two pairs of eyes." -Thomas Carlyle
Hikaru had been acting strangely all week.
Granted, that wasn't unusual for this time of year-and it wasn't like Hikaru ever acted like a normal person on a regular day anyway-but this was a bit more than the wackiness Akira was used to dealing with during Golden Week.
He'd learned over the years that, if they didn't have matches or a conference to attend, Hikaru would spend the week on his own. He didn't seem to actively avoid people, though, and if Akira ran into him, Hikaru just seemed slightly subdued. Not exactly melancholy, but unusually thoughtful, like he was missing someone who'd been dead for a while but not quite long enough for sadness to give way to fond memories.
Akira knew that it had something to do with Sai, and it was driving him crazy. Six years he'd been waiting to hear the story. He hadn't said a word in all that time, not since Hikaru had said that he might tell him about Sai "someday." He knew Hikaru would keep his promise-he just didn't know if it would happen before they turned ninety.
Akira gritted his teeth and held back a yell of frustration. He wasn't a child-their shouting matches at the go salon had long since ceased to be an every day occurrence-so he should be able to keep a hold on his temper by now, no matter how much Hikaru provoked him. He'd been raised to be polite and had never had problems remaining so in all situations-until Hikaru had come along. Then again, Hikaru had always been an exception to everything, which explained why Akira was in this ridiculous situation, skulking down the street, following Hikaru like a detective hired to track a cheating spouse.
Of course, if Hikaru would just tell him what was going on, it wouldn't be a problem any more, but no, he had to keep his precious Sai a secret and-wow, he was really losing it. He couldn't remember ever sounding this petulant, even in his own thoughts.
It occurred to him that he was-just maybe-a little jealous of Sai.
If by "a little jealous," you meant "consumed by the fire of a thousand burning suns."
Which was utterly ridiculous; whoever Sai had been, he wasn't around now. He hadn't been for years. Hikaru was focused on Akira and Akira's go-on their go-not Sai's. He knew that.
And yet-here he was, watching as Hikaru entered one of the many anonymous buildings on the street. Akira kept walking until he was close enough to see the signs for the businesses that had offices there. The building housed everything from an art gallery to a travel agency, but none of them looked like a place Hikaru would visit. Akira bit his lip and stared pensively toward the busy street, barely aware of the crowds rushing by as he pondered his next move. Maybe he should-
"Hey, Touya. What're you doing here?"
He spun around to see Hikaru grinning at him from two steps away as the door shut behind him. "Oh, hi. I was, uh-" A man jostled Akira as he entered the building, knocking him into Hikaru. He felt heat surge across his face as he flushed with embarrassment at finding himself plastered chest to chest with Hikaru.
Hikaru, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind. He pushed Akira back just far enough so he could grab his arm, then promptly dragged him out onto the sidewalk. "Come on, let's go somewhere a little less crowded."
"I saw a coffee shop not far from here. About two blocks down, I think." Akira caught his breath and matched his stride to Hikaru's, though he didn't try to remove his arm from Hikaru's grasp.
"Nah, there's a park not far from my place. It should be pretty empty by the time we get there."
At least it didn't seem like Hikaru was likely to give him grief for following him on his secret errand. Akira shrugged and let himself be dragged to the nearest train station.
*
They didn't speak at all on the way to the park. Akira tried to focus on the people surrounding them on the crowded train, but he found his gaze returning to Hikaru time and time again, watching as his friend bounced in place. Hikaru always radiated an energy that seemed to invigorate everyone around him, but this was far more frantic than usual, like he was having a hard time keeping himself contained.
The short walk from the station to the park did nothing to disperse Hikaru's excess energy, which was starting to worry Akira. Whatever Hikaru wanted to talk about, it was obviously incredibly important to him. They settled on an empty bench not far from the playground equipment, and he watched as Hikaru rummaged in his bag before pulling out a heavy cardboard tube. He removed the end cap, gently drew out a scroll, and handed it to Akira.
Akira couldn't contain his gasp of surprise as he carefully unrolled the scroll. It was a watercolor of smiling Heian courtier seated at a goban, dressed in shades of lavender, red, and deep purple. His hair was gathered with a tie at waist level, then puddled on the ground beside him, while shorter strands escaped from beneath the tall black tate eboshi to frame his face. In the slender fingers of his right hand he held a fan, and branches laden with cherry blossoms arched above his head, their petals strewn across the ground.
Akira squinted at the elegant calligraphy along the bottom left side of the scroll. It said simply, "Fujiwara no Sai." His gaze flew to Hikaru's face. "Shindou! Is this-"
"Yeah." Hikaru nodded slowly. "That's-that's Sai."
"But how, what, I mean-" Akira sighed and tried to collect his thoughts. "I thought he wasn't a real person, that he was...inside you."
"Sai was a ghost tied to an old goban that I found in my grandfather's attic. I was the only one who could see or hear him." Hikaru waved his hand in frustration. "Everything that happened is kind of hard to explain, but he was with me every day for two years."
"He was your teacher, wasn't he?"
"Yeah. But mostly-mostly he was my friend."
"You must miss him very much," Akira said softly.
A jerky nod was his only reply.
"So, you're finally going to tell me all about him?" Akira returned the scroll to its case and handed it over. "Took you long enough."
Hikaru flashed him a grateful smile as he stuffed the scroll in his backpack. "I was planning to tell you about Sai this weekend. Mori-san finished the painting last week, but this is the first free time I had to pick it up."
Akira cocked his head to the side, as if that could help him understand Hikaru's perspective. "Why the visual aid? Why not just tell me?"
Hikaru chuckled and looked away, rubbing a hand over the nape of his neck as his cheeks flushed, before turning back to Akira. "I wanted-it's important that you see Sai. You deserve to know all of him, not just his go. He would have wanted you to."
Oh. Oh. "Thank you."
Hikaru shrugged. "I told you I'd tell you about him someday."
Akira rolled his eyes. "Remind me to pin you down on a firmer timeline the next time something like this comes up."
"I don't plan on being haunted again anytime soon, and I only have one other secret that I haven't told you, so it's not like-" Hikaru's face blanched and he stuttered uncharacteristically as he continued. "I mean, um, I don't have anything else that I need to tell you, so just forget I said that, okay? I have to go now, so I'll-"
Akira jumped up as Hikaru started to flee and grabbed Hikaru's arm, holding it tightly so he couldn't escape. But Hikaru gave up without a fight, his shoulders slumping as he looked at Akira from under his bangs, and he heaved a dramatic sigh. "I don't suppose you'll let it go?"
Akira shook his head slowly. Hikaru nodded like he expected that answer, and straightened his shoulders as he turned to face Akira. His expression was focused and eerily similar to the one Akira was used to seeing across the board when Hikaru made a move that looked like it was a mistake that would lose the game-until it turned out twenty hands later to be brilliant beyond comprehension.
"Fine." Hikaru made a resigned face. "But don't blame me if you get mad."
"What do you m-"
Hikaru's lips on his stopped the retort. Akira stood there and let himself be kissed, frozen in shock until Hikaru started to pull away. He grabbed the straps of Hikaru's backpack, keeping them both in place as they stared at each other in silence. Akira's heart was racing and his stomach was queasy and he felt like he would burst with joy. Finally.
"I-" Akira licked his lips and swallowed nervously. "I have a secret to tell you, too."
The grin he received nearly blinded him as Hikaru leaned in for another kiss. "It's okay, Touya, I already know it."