Under the Wild Oak [Masterlist]
Title: Under the Wild Oak
Author: anowlinsunshine
Movie Prompt: The Fountain
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: hard R
Word Count: ~29,500
Spoilers/Warnings: Major character death. Seriously, this is not a happy fic, so please don't go in expecting that.
Disclaimer: These people? Aren't mine.
Summary: In which Merlin searches for a solution and instead finds a way to reconcile the difference between what he wants and what he gets.
Author's Notes: (These are probably going to be long, kids, so brace yourselves.)
First off, let me say that this is the fic that I never intended to write. I have failed at all fic challenges I have signed up for in the past, and I never planned to sign up for reel_merlin. I only did so because, in a joking attempt to convince ego_chan to do something for this movie, I realized that hey, that's a fic I really want to see written. And within an hour, I had around 1,500 words of planning document and a claim on this film submitted to the reel mods. Funny how that works out.
Writing this was probably one of the most painful things I've ever done, for more reasons than my awful attention span and frequent inability to focus on a fic long enough to get it finished. Those of you who have seen The Fountain know that it is a gorgeous, wonderful film, as much a great piece of cinema for its characters and message as for its structure and technique. You also know that it is by no means a happy film. I first saw it in my high-school junior-year English class two years ago, and every person in my class walked out feeling as though we had all just finished running an emotional marathon; even now when I watch it, I come out feeling beyond emotionally drained. It's a wonderfully expressive movie, and, like every movie we love to watch again no matter how much it hurts, we love it because of the ways and depths it makes us feel -- in other words, we love it because it hurts.
Now try capturing that in a fic. Yeah. Welcome to the major problem I faced writing this.
I've done my best to try and create that effect in this story. I'm not sure of the level to which I've achieved this goal, but it's what I set out wanting to do. I wanted to pay tribute to this movie, which is (as you can probably tell) one of my favorites ever, so know this going in: This is not a happy fic. If you are looking for sunshine-y endings and roses galore, you will not find them here. Just trying to give you ample warning.
If you do choose to read it, though, even knowing that, thank you. This story has been my major source of stress and frustration over the past few months, and anyone on my flist can tell you that they are completely tired of my bitching and complaining about it. So thank you, flist, for putting up with me and supporting me long enough for me to finish this beast.
Other people I need to thank: krazykipper for Britpicking, and both her and merelyn for taking the time to run this challenge; the opportunity has been wonderful, ladies. Also, a trillion thanks to staraflur, itachitachi, and i_claudia, who took on the task of betaing this for me, and holding my hand when I lost my nerve at the ever-burgeoning word count, and providing me with countless hours of IM conversations and talk-throughs where I rambled at them and flailed a lot and ultimately left the chat with a new scene worked out and them utterly confused. They've put up with a hell of a lot from me over these past few months, and it's safe to say that this fic wouldn't be here now if it weren't for them. Thank you so much for everything, guys. It's been a (very long, very painful) joy.
And thanks to all of you, if you read through that, for putting up with the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written. I normally don't do things like this, really, it's just that this is the longest, most-involving fandom project I have ever worked on, and the first time I've had the chance to ever do a masterlist with a crazy long A/N, and just. I got carried away. Sorry. It's worse than this fic, swear to God.
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four
Author: anowlinsunshine
Movie Prompt: The Fountain
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: hard R
Word Count: ~29,500
Spoilers/Warnings: Major character death. Seriously, this is not a happy fic, so please don't go in expecting that.
Disclaimer: These people? Aren't mine.
Summary: In which Merlin searches for a solution and instead finds a way to reconcile the difference between what he wants and what he gets.
Author's Notes: (These are probably going to be long, kids, so brace yourselves.)
First off, let me say that this is the fic that I never intended to write. I have failed at all fic challenges I have signed up for in the past, and I never planned to sign up for reel_merlin. I only did so because, in a joking attempt to convince ego_chan to do something for this movie, I realized that hey, that's a fic I really want to see written. And within an hour, I had around 1,500 words of planning document and a claim on this film submitted to the reel mods. Funny how that works out.
Writing this was probably one of the most painful things I've ever done, for more reasons than my awful attention span and frequent inability to focus on a fic long enough to get it finished. Those of you who have seen The Fountain know that it is a gorgeous, wonderful film, as much a great piece of cinema for its characters and message as for its structure and technique. You also know that it is by no means a happy film. I first saw it in my high-school junior-year English class two years ago, and every person in my class walked out feeling as though we had all just finished running an emotional marathon; even now when I watch it, I come out feeling beyond emotionally drained. It's a wonderfully expressive movie, and, like every movie we love to watch again no matter how much it hurts, we love it because of the ways and depths it makes us feel -- in other words, we love it because it hurts.
Now try capturing that in a fic. Yeah. Welcome to the major problem I faced writing this.
I've done my best to try and create that effect in this story. I'm not sure of the level to which I've achieved this goal, but it's what I set out wanting to do. I wanted to pay tribute to this movie, which is (as you can probably tell) one of my favorites ever, so know this going in: This is not a happy fic. If you are looking for sunshine-y endings and roses galore, you will not find them here. Just trying to give you ample warning.
If you do choose to read it, though, even knowing that, thank you. This story has been my major source of stress and frustration over the past few months, and anyone on my flist can tell you that they are completely tired of my bitching and complaining about it. So thank you, flist, for putting up with me and supporting me long enough for me to finish this beast.
Other people I need to thank: krazykipper for Britpicking, and both her and merelyn for taking the time to run this challenge; the opportunity has been wonderful, ladies. Also, a trillion thanks to staraflur, itachitachi, and i_claudia, who took on the task of betaing this for me, and holding my hand when I lost my nerve at the ever-burgeoning word count, and providing me with countless hours of IM conversations and talk-throughs where I rambled at them and flailed a lot and ultimately left the chat with a new scene worked out and them utterly confused. They've put up with a hell of a lot from me over these past few months, and it's safe to say that this fic wouldn't be here now if it weren't for them. Thank you so much for everything, guys. It's been a (very long, very painful) joy.
And thanks to all of you, if you read through that, for putting up with the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written. I normally don't do things like this, really, it's just that this is the longest, most-involving fandom project I have ever worked on, and the first time I've had the chance to ever do a masterlist with a crazy long A/N, and just. I got carried away. Sorry. It's worse than this fic, swear to God.
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four