Love Comes Slowly: Prologue
Anon over at DAO kink meme said:
Story takes place long after Alistair made the ultimate sacrifice.As Elissa recovered from her wounds and grieves, its discovered that she's pregnant. Teagan who is secretly in love with her, marries her and its assumed the child is his.
Two years later, the child is born and they're married but have separate rooms. ( Read more... )
Story takes place long after Alistair made the ultimate sacrifice.As Elissa recovered from her wounds and grieves, its discovered that she's pregnant. Teagan who is secretly in love with her, marries her and its assumed the child is his.
Two years later, the child is born and they're married but have separate rooms. ( Read more... )
Comments 4
Just a suggestion here, have speeches by different people in different paragraphs, so we can easily tell who's talking. For example:
They were both silent for a moment, when the Queen said: "He loved you, you know. That's why he said he will marry me to ensure the throne."
"I don't want to hear that," growled Amélie with through teeth. "Because if that was love, I do not want to see what he would do, if he hated me!"
Anora just shook her head. "He loved you - and because he knew he won't survive the final battle, he thought it would be better for you, if he left, so hating him would make it easier for you to move on. He wanted you happy," finished the Queen quietly.
Hope that helps!
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Thank you for your feedback - it's definitely something to consider. Dialog formatting became a problem for me recently (oh, all those times so long ago when I used to nag my brother about his fictions' formatting XD), so I really value your suggestion about how to edit it.
About Oren being alive - damit, BioWare, do not tell me that my Cousland wouldn't be able to run just across the corridor to save their nephew. After all, in the words of profound wisdom - "Cousland - it's Fereldan for 'awesome'."
Grateful anon is grateful. Huzzah for helpful comments! :)
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The thing that's always irked me is that people who post stories to the Web are so miserly with putting paragraph spaces. I mean, you're not limited to actual paper pages, why not go wild? It's difficult for me to read wall-of-text entries for that reason; what's readable in a book is not readable on the computer.
I'm working on a prompt with Teagan myself, though it's going slowly because I'm working on another smutfic. And it's got F!Cousland, because I've always found the noble origin to be the most poignant of all, but of course the alienage ones come very close. I'm hoping to establish a different kind of F!Cousland, one that isn't quite virginal, but not quite the extrovert, either.
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