Fic: Observations, Ch 82
“I would choose to be deaf.”
“Really? You’d rather be deaf than blind?”
“I’m a pilot. I could probably manage to keep flying if I couldn’t hear, but I have to have my eyes. And I already kinda know what it’s like to be blind. If there were one thing I could give to anyone, I’d give sight back to my sister,” Sulu paused, his voice steady. “She’s never seen the sky.”
“What about you, Scotty?”
“Och, that’s a tough one yeh’re askin’ captain. I need ta be able ta see what I’m doin’, but hearin’s just as important. I think I might go a wee bit loopy if I couldn’t hear our Silver Lady singin’ her sweet song.”
“You’d be able to feel the rhythm and vibration of the ship, though,” Nyota pointed out.
“Aye, that’s true. I think they’re both about tied for me. Now, if yeh told me I had ta choose between those things and my hands, well, that’s no contest. Take my sight, take my hearing, take whatever yeh need, but let me keep my hands.”
“Amen to that.”
I could feel Jim look at Dr. McCoy quizzically.
“Jim, modern medicine can fix-not perfectly, but it’s better than nothin’-the stuff you’re talkin’ about. But we still don’t have a way to regrow whole limbs. The best we’ve got’re prosthetics and robotic assistance devices. None of them really replicate the million things that our hands do naturally.”
“I think I’d rather be blind than deaf.”
“Well, that goes without saying, doesn’t it? You’re the communications officer. Yeh haveta listen ta the subspace transmissions.”
“No, not really. My choice has little to do with Starfleet.”
“Then what?” Jim asked.
“I think I could live the rest of my life without seeing color. It’d be hard, but I think I could do it. Never again seeing a sunset or a sunrise, never seeing the faces of the people I love.”
“When you put it that way dear, blindness sounds terrifying,” Nurse Chapel remarked.
“Not as terrifying as a life without sound. Never again hearing a song? A life without music? I think I’d rather die.”
“Nyota, there is no need for hyperbolic statements.”
“I’m serious, Spock. Of all the things in the universe, music’s the thing that reaches down and touches my soul. I love to sing, I love hearing the songs of others. I don’t look at the stars, I listen to them.”
“It is job related! Scotty was right!”
I could practically hear Nyota roll her eyes. There was a sound of a light slap.
“What was that for?”
“For being an idiot, that’s what, Jim,” Leonard laughed. “And what about you, Chekov. Russians got any preference either way?”
“I am never thinking about this question before. But maybe deafness is better. I am not knowing. It is hard to be navigator without eyes. If Hikaru is deaf, maybe it is better that I am being blind. He will be reading nonsense stories to me and I will be writing physics equations on the wall like a prophet,” he laughed. “We will be making each other crazy, and life will be interesting. It is not a bad way to be.”
“Why’re you asking us these questions, captain? Some sorta under the table psych eval?”
“What? No. Just curious. And I learn things. Like I didn’t know you had a blind sister.”
“How is Sayomi? And Katsu? Goodness, I haven’t seen them in ages!” Nurse Chapel exclaimed.
“Good, at least since the last transmission we had. Probably fine.”
“Oh, I’ve been so busy I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to them. I’ll have to do that first thing when I get some free time.”
“Yeah, I’m sure they’d love it, especially Katsu. She’s finished her residency, thinking about applying for Starfleet Medical.”
“How do you know Sulu’s sisters, Chris?”
“Oh, we were best friends back when I lived in San Fransisco. My family and Sulu’s family were next door?”
“Across the street.”
“We were neighbors. I came over and played with the two girls practically every day. We chased Sulu out of the room-he was always charging in with a sword or somesuch while we were playing ‘house’ or with our dolls.”
Sulu laughed. “Good times.”
“But of course, we moved away. It must be some fifteen years since I’ve been in contact with them. And now we serve on the same ship.”
“Small world,” Leonard said.
“I can drink ta that,” Scotty replied. “What about you, Jim, since yeh brought the subject up. What can you live without?”
“What can I live without?”
“Yup.”
“Well, a lotta things. I could live without Komack having a stick shoved up his ass, for example.”
“Stop hedging, Jim.”
“I dunno. I just asked the question cause it popped in my mind, I don’t have an answer. Starfleet doesn’t take captains with disabilties, so I’d like to keep everything, if you know what I mean.” Jim paused. “What can you live without, Spock?”
“Whatever you do not need, captain.”
“That’s funny. I was gonna say the same thing about you.”
For reasons unknown, there was a pause in conversation.
“Well I’ll be damned if this aint the most ironic thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like a goddamn movie.”
“Or one of those Korean dramas. You know the ones I’m talking about, Chris?”
She laughed. “I remember watching them with Katsu, and Sayomi would demand explanations of the action. Oh, they were real heartbreakers.”
“What the hell are you guys talking about?”
“We are imposing Prime Directif on ourselves, keptan. No interference.”
“Interference with what?”
“Nothing. No interference with nothing at all.”
“You guys are all in on this? Spock, are you in on this too?”
“Negative, captain. I am in the dark as well.”
“5 out of 10 for that pun. You’re getting better with your wordplay, but that wasn’t your best.”
“I did not realize you were keeping track of my proficiency, Jim.”
“Someone’s gotta keep you straight.”
Several made sounds of exaggerated coughing. Leonard snorted. I heard him mutter under his breath, “that’s the last thing you wanna be doing, Jim.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing. I’m gonna go do something. Growl at the new replacements you’ve picked up. I can’t watch this anymore.”
“Watch what? Damnit, when did you guys all gang up on us?”
“Well, we are hafing deadline. After certain time, we will be breaking Prime Directif.”
“We haven’t really decided when.”
“Will you guys stop talking in riddles and just fucking explain to me, in plain Standard, what is going on? Is there some sort of secret mission Starfleet’s given you all? Am I not supposed to know about it? Because if I’m not supposed to know about it, you guys suck at keeping secrets.”
No one replied. By the sound of Jim’s frustration and the emotions that radiated from his form, he was exasperated.
“Fine, keep your secret. Me and Spock’ll figure it out. Right Spock?”
“I believe the secret is related to us, Jim.”
“We’ll still figure it out.”
“That’s the idea,” Sulu said cryptically.
There was another pause.
“You guys are really lucky that Spock can’t see right now, or you’d be majorly fucked.”
“Change up the pronouns a bit and the verb tense of the two main verbs, and I’d agree with that statement.”
“That didn’t make any sense.”
“Denial looks just as bad on you as it does on Spock, Jim. Mapenzi ni kikohozi, hayawezi kufichika.”
“I don’t speak whatever it is you just said.”
“Figure it out with Spock. He knows what I said.”
Another pause. “Forget it. I don’t wanna know.”
--
Love is like a cough-it cannot be concealed.