FIC - United Front: Ch. 4 - Neurotic ~Renji/Ishida ~R
Story Title: United Front
Chapter: 4 - Neurotic
Pairings/Characters: Abarai Renji / Ishida Uryuu
Spoilers: mild spoilers for the Heuco Mundo manga arc
Warnings: angst, yaoi, language
Rating: R
Word Count: 2364
Description: Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean it’s all hearts and flowers.
Beta: 2metaldog
Read: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3
Ishida woke with an ache in his lower back. In his groggy state, it took him a moment to gather his thoughts and realize what was wrong. Renji was hard. He was also sound asleep. Wanting to sigh with exasperation, instead, Ishida rolled over and casually wrapped his hand around Renji’s erection.
Watching Renji jolt awake made him give a throaty laugh, but inside it still made him a little bit sad. Renji never trusted anyone when he was asleep. He supposed the current war only compounded the years of distrust from living in Inuzuri from such a young age.
Staring into Renji’s angular and well-defined face, Ishida asked, “Do you need some help with this? I could return the favor from the shower.” As Ishida dropped his head and circled his tongue over a nipple, he actually hoped Renji would accept his offer, because the more time that passed the more nervous he was about going all the way.
Renji’s fingers ran a light tapping pattern up Ishida’s leg and over his hip, before it smoothed out and glided up his side to his hair. With a sleep roughened voiced, Renji playfully responded, “Nah, but since you’re awake you could crack open that lube and help me prepare myself. It would work great as foreplay and you could get an idea of what I like.” Ishida’s gaze returned to Renji’s face and the adorable leer that graced it, but his words made an uncomfortable cramp form in Ishida’s stomach.
“The hell is with your weird looks, Ishida?” Renji cocked his head as if to add more uncertainty into the question.
Ishida looked down once again to see his hand loosely wrapped around Renji’s most lovely asset. “You’ll think it’s strange.” He didn’t want to talk about this, he really didn’t, but since they were going to be having more sex and presumably penetrating sex, much sooner than he’d anticipated, he really needed to get this out of the way.
“Ishida I’ve been with you three months and we’ve been friends a helluva lot longer. I already know you’re strange, neurotic, and generally uptight. Now what gives?” Ishida could almost hear the impatience coating Renji’s words.
Letting go of Renji’s cock, Ishida retorted, “I am not neurotic!”
Renji laughed lightly. “Oh, but no denial on the other two huh? Ishida, just spill. I am not going through another three months of dancing around each. It was a pain in the ass, and not the good kind. Besides, I could be dead tomorrow, and I’d really like to die with a smile on my face.”
Running his fingers through midnight hair, Renji whispered, “And I can guarantee sex with you will give me a huge grin.”
With an annoyed growl, Ishida pushed the hand aside. He was annoyed at Renji’s smile and the fact that Renji was having so much fun, when he was so nervous, “Oh knock it off, already. We both know you’re too damn resilient to die. I swear you’re the only shinigami with bankai that can lose every damn fight and still manage to come out on top,” Ishida grumbled.
Renji leaned up and propped his head in his palm. “Straight for the jugular, I see.” Though Renji’s voice was firm, Ishida felt guilty at the obvious hurt he could see on his lover’s face. “Ishida, I never asked you to save me. You probably should have left me with Szayel and run straight to Inoue. I wasn’t gonna turn away your help, but you know how illogical it was.”
Backpedaling a bit, Ishida tried to sooth Renji’s bruised ego. “It wasn’t illogical. What would have been the point of saving Inoue if any of us had died? I really thought I could help. I thought I’d finally gotten strong enough. And you damn well know I didn’t save you. I ended up just as broken,” Ishida’s voice trailed off a bit, “if not more so than you did.”
Remembering that particular battle did nothing to boost Ishida’s confidence and he flopped over on his back, continuing in a snappish tone. “I so don’t want to talk about this right now. This ill-advised subject is entirely your fault, you stupid shinigami.”
“Anal retentive bastard.”
“My, my, such big words for a thug tattooed within an inch of his life.”
“How about snotty Quincy. Is that more fitting to my apparent intelligence level?”
“Renji! I never said you were stupid.”
With a quick twist, Renji sat up. “Yes, you DID! About two seconds ago.”
“I didn’t mean it,” Ishida muttered. “You know I don’t think you’re stupid. You’re one of the smartest men -”
Renji ran his hands through his hair and began pulling on it. “FUCK! How the hell did we get this far off track again? It’s like a disease with you, Ishida. You have to talk your way around every damn thing. Just tell me for fucks sake before you make my brain explode.”
“Fine!” Ishida clenched his hands and threw one arm over his eyes.
“So…”
Ishida flung his arms out and sat up facing Renji. “Damn it! Why can’t anything ever be easy with you?”
“Because I’m worth it.” Oh gods, that grin did him in every time. Ishida swore it was going to be plastered on Renji’s face the day he finally died.
“Fine! You know I’m a neat freak right?” Fidgeting with his fingers and brushing them along Renji’s now flagging erection, Ishida stalled. He knew he had to say it, but it seemed so idiotic and important at the same time.
“Ishida please get to the point,” Renji replied in a strangled whisper, his hips rising and pressing his cock into Ishida’s hand.
Turning ten shades of red, Ishida tried to continue, “Is there any way we can just… do it? I mean so I didn’t need to put… my um… fingers in there?”
Renji wheezed as Ishida gently squeezed his cock, as he replied, annoyance lacing his words. “In there? In my ass you mean? Geez Ishida, are you a sadist or that fucking freaked out? I mean sure, we can use a crap-load of lube, and you could shove your dick up my ass, but it’s not exactly my favorite way to fuck.”
As Ishida looked down, Renji’s much larger hand wrapped around Ishida’s fingers, making him realize how embarrassed and intimidated he was by this conversation. Ishida tried to disentangle their entwined hands to get some emotional distance, but Renji’s grip was firm, and he couldn’t do it without making an even bigger issue.
“It burns like a son of a bitch to start with, and it reminds me of the casual fast fucks I’ve had in my life. What exactly is your problem here anyway, Ishida?” When Renji dropped Ishida’s hands from his insistent grip, he should have felt relief, instead he felt discarded. Thankfully, though, Renji didn’t turn his back on him. Ishida wasn’t sure he could take that harsh a rejection from his lover.
“It’s stupid; I know you’re going to think it’s stupid….” Ishida finally pulled his fingers away from Renji’s cock, but couldn’t bring his eyes up while he spoke. “It’s just… this morning when this all started… I wasn’t prepared… I didn’t think… I don’t have anything….”
Renji combed his fingers through Ishida’s hair and down to cup his jaw. “Ishida, what the hell are you talking about?”
Talking in a great gulp of air Ishida spoke as fast as he could before he lost his nerve. “It’s a bit unsanitary and I don’t have gloves or condoms or….” Ishida knocked Renji’s hand away, covered his face with his hands, and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I told you it was stupid.”
“Damn it, I suppose that means I’m not gonna be talking you into a little rim action, first.”
“… Rim action? Renji, what… Oh my g… Are you nuts?! “That’s…”
Ishida’s head shot up as raucous laughter broke into his dazed and confused mind and brought his minor freak out to a screeching halt. “You bastard.”
Renji’s laughter died down, until it stopped with a final snort. It was still embarrassing, but Renji’s amusement at Ishida’s expense had broken his humiliation and turned on his indignation. Watching the mirth continue to dance across Renji’s face, convinced Ishida that had been his lover’s goal all along. Ishida glared at him, but he suspected from Renji’s continued amusement that it lacked his usual ice.
“Shit, Ishida. I should’ve known. I don’t know why it never occurred to me. The first time I came into this sterile apartment…. The bitching about me peeing down the shower drain…. I always knew you were a neat freak, it just never clicked that you were a germ freak, too.”
“Irritating baboon! I’m not a germ freak, I just wasn’t prepared to go this far this fast.” Ishida’s frustration died again as his nervousness returned. Why couldn’t he look Renji in the eyes… but he couldn’t, and once again looked down into his hands. “Look, Renji… it makes me uncomfortable.”
He felt Renji’s hand slide through his hair again as his head was coaxed up to look into his lover’s face. Ishida couldn’t bear the mocking look that must be there, so he closed his eyes instead.
Barely above a whisper, Renji said, “Ishida, you’re no coward. Open your eyes.”
There was as much command in the voice as pleading, and even Ishida wasn’t sure which part his body instinctively responded to. Maybe it was the simple truth that Renji spoke. No, Ishida wasn’t a coward, and in the end, it was all a matter of trust.
Opening his eyes, all Ishida saw was compassion and a little of something he swore in the privacy of his own mind was love. “I… give me… oh hell! Look, it will just take me some time, okay? I have a few weird hang-ups about cleanliness.”
Strong, callused hands cupped Ishida’s jaw, and he watched Renji smile tenderly. Leaning in, Renji kissed Ishida with more force than strictly necessary, as if he were staking some claim to his territory.
“What….” Ishida cleared his throat, looking up into the clear ruby red of Renji’s eyes. “Why did you do that? Aren’t you at least a little bit upset with me?”
“Look Ishida… I’m a little older than you. I’ve been around the block a couple of times. I haven’t come across this issue before, but it’s not like problems don’t come up in every relationship.” Renji brushed Ishida’s bangs from his face and attempted to tuck them behind his ear. He didn’t know why, but it made Ishida smile whenever Renji made that very unmanly gesture.
Ishida responded with a barely audible sigh. “This is just one of the reasons I love you.” He pressed the side of his face into the bold tattoos on Renji’s chest, listening to his lover’s heartbeat. He could smell the light sandalwood scent from their shared shower earlier. For some reason it smelled so much more erotic on Renji’s skin that it ever had on his. Renji continued stroking one side of Ishida’s face and hair.
“Most people would not be that understanding, Renji. I…. Thanks… just thanks.” Turning his face into Renji’s palm, Ishida kissed it and licked up the thumb.
Taking hold of Ishida’s head once again with powerful, yet gentle hands, Renji drew Ishida into a sweet and tender kiss. Ishida relaxed into Renji’s compelling hands, and sank into the kiss as if he never wanted to leave, and wondered how he had ever managed to resist such an incredible man.
“Nah, it’s okay Ishida.” Bowing Ishida’s head towards his lap, Renji chuckled. “As you can see, I’m not ready anymore,” pushing Ishida’s head back up with his thumb, he continued, “and I can still see the exhaustion pulling at your face.” Renji traced a line at the corner of Ishida’s eye that was sure to be a wrinkle long before he was 20, assuming of course he lived that long.
Placing another kiss on Ishida’s forehead, Renji pushed him back down on the bed. “Let’s get some more sleep, and I’ll pick some stuff up on the way back from making my report at Urahara-san’s tonight.”
As Ishida started to protest, Renji interrupted. “Na, ah, ah. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”
Renji encouraged him to lie on his side and then curled behind Ishida’s back tucking an arm loosely around his waist. Within minutes, Renji was fast asleep, while Ishida lay in his embrace with too many things racing through his mind.
It wasn’t that he was completely freaked out about sex. He knew the mechanics, and simple precautions were easily purchased to keep his mild germ phobia from freaking him out. So, what was his problem? It seemed so ridiculous to be afraid of sex, especially with Renji. The man Ishida trusted to watch his back; the man he trusted with his life; Renji, who was his first and probably only love. Whom, by all rights at this point, should be pissed at him for being a tease, and yet wasn’t. The big oaf had even kept the insults to a minimum. That part was almost as much a disappointment as a relief. Ishida had grown fond of their rivalry and insulting banter. It was almost as if it wasn’t a normal conversation if Renji didn’t call him uptight or something equivalent.
There were just so many things about Renji he’d fallen in love with, but the fact Ishida could trust him to fight back fairly was probably one of the biggest.
Grabbing him firmly about the waist Renji draped a leg over Ishida’s and grumbled, “Ishida… you’re thinking… it keeps waking me up. Knock it off… your Quincy pride is… still intact… go… to… sleep.” The last said on a yawn before Renji quickly slid into slumber again.
Once again, Renji was right. If Ishida hadn’t been so tired, he might have defied Renji out of shear indignation. Instead, he stifled a yawn and curled tightly into Renji’s embrace, kissing the tattooed bicep that held him so warmly.
***End Chapter 4
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