Grief, Deceptions, and Hope for Freedom - Chapter 30 part a

[annf]

I usually don't post my fic to lj, generally straight to ff.net for me, but this part of the chapter went so well, but now isn't jelling with the rest what I tried writing in my notebook. I write first to paper, and then it grows and improves as I type - but also sometimes shatters.. So some feedback on what pops into your heads would be nice.A

Comments

[brightfeather]

What, exactly, isn't it gelling with? :) I like this half of a scene, but I don't know what you're trying to make it fit with.

Me, I write straight to the computer, because it works better for me. I've written scraps and patches on paper, but trying to fit them into the ever-evolving word file is difficult.

[demonkitty03]

I love this story. I think this part is flowing well, but I don't know where you are going from here.