*Obviously I don't have Ebola but it's been a long time since I have had an honest to goodness stomach bug of the this magnitude so I am going to go ahead and whine a little.
It's probably ebola. (Said in a cheery voice.) Think how famous you'll be, the first homegrown American ebola victim. You'll probably get a movie made about you.
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--Unless you just brought your laptop in with you....
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