Loss, Jack/Sky
Title: Loss
Relationship: Jack/Sky
Rating: 15
Warning: Bad language. Angst.
“Look, Sky, I don’t really know how to say this, but…I’ve met this girl.”
Sky didn’t move, and Jack wondered if it might have been a good idea to bring Z along as back-up for this conversation.
“She’s really nice,” he said, feeling guilt-laced hope as he imagined Sky suddenly smiling and saying, ‘it’s alright, this was only ever a bit of fun, wasn’t it?’
Except Sky didn’t. Because Sky didn’t do sudden smiles, and he didn’t do things just for fun.
“Her name’s Ally. Her dad owns a clothing store, and they give clothes to the poor.” He couldn’t help but smile, just thinking about her. “And she likes fishing, and going to the beach, and she’s just really good fun?”
Uncertainty made it a question, as Jack realised that Sky wouldn’t want to hear this - that Ally was fun and laughing, and she and Jack had so much in common. His crush, still fresh and bright, made him want to talk non-stop about her, but…
“I just felt…I mean, I really like her. I’m sorry, but it just happened,” said Jack, then regretted it. He was doing nothing wrong. He shouldn’t apologise. Relationships broke up sometimes. It just happened. A fact of life.
He still wanted to apologise, and beg forgiveness.
Sky said nothing, just staring at the floor, long fingers picking at the blue edging on his sleeve.
Ally liked wearing red. Jack couldn’t remember ever seeing Sky in his colour.
“Are you okay with this?” he asked finally, desperate for some reaction. “I mean, are you gonna hit me or something?”
Sky shrugged. “It would be better,” he said, confusing Jack for a moment. What would be better? Sky continued, “Relationships with civilians aren’t against regulations. Ours is. Was.”
Jack stared, unable to believe it. They’d been together months, and yet when it came to breaking up, all Sky could think of was the rules? “Well, that’s just great. I guess I shouldn’t feel even the tiniest bit upset about over this, because hey, we were breaking the rules!”
“Feel what you like. You’re the one doing this, not me.”
“Can’t you even pretend to, I don’t know, feel something?” Jack snapped, cursing himself even as he spoke. Sky did feel, he knew. But the other man had always been able to drive him mad, up the wall, so crazy all he could think about was kissing or fucking.
Neither of which he should think about now. He had Ally, and he was falling in love with her, this woman who matched him so perfectly. What Sky made him feel…what Sky had made him feel, in the past…
“I love her,” he said. “And what we had…I mean, it was just sex, right? We were always arguing. I used to annoy you, remember? Still do. We weren’t…I mean, we wouldn’t have worked. It was just sex. Relief. It didn’t mean anything.”
Lies, from Sky’s point of view, and maybe his too, but he wasn’t going to think about that. He loved Ally, in a pure, uncomplicated was. He and Sky were sex and arguments and issues. Not something he should feel sorry to walk away from. “It was just sex.”
“Yeah,” said Sky, not looking at Jack, voice so controlled it sounded almost computerised. “Just sex. I have to go. I’m on duty.”
He wasn’t. Jack knew Sky’s timetable by heart, and he still had two hours before he needed to report.
But he didn’t protest as Sky went, leaving Jack alone in the empty room, with its plain white walls.
List of 22: Loss
Relationship: Jack/Sky
Rating: 15
Warning: Bad language. Angst.
“Look, Sky, I don’t really know how to say this, but…I’ve met this girl.”
Sky didn’t move, and Jack wondered if it might have been a good idea to bring Z along as back-up for this conversation.
“She’s really nice,” he said, feeling guilt-laced hope as he imagined Sky suddenly smiling and saying, ‘it’s alright, this was only ever a bit of fun, wasn’t it?’
Except Sky didn’t. Because Sky didn’t do sudden smiles, and he didn’t do things just for fun.
“Her name’s Ally. Her dad owns a clothing store, and they give clothes to the poor.” He couldn’t help but smile, just thinking about her. “And she likes fishing, and going to the beach, and she’s just really good fun?”
Uncertainty made it a question, as Jack realised that Sky wouldn’t want to hear this - that Ally was fun and laughing, and she and Jack had so much in common. His crush, still fresh and bright, made him want to talk non-stop about her, but…
“I just felt…I mean, I really like her. I’m sorry, but it just happened,” said Jack, then regretted it. He was doing nothing wrong. He shouldn’t apologise. Relationships broke up sometimes. It just happened. A fact of life.
He still wanted to apologise, and beg forgiveness.
Sky said nothing, just staring at the floor, long fingers picking at the blue edging on his sleeve.
Ally liked wearing red. Jack couldn’t remember ever seeing Sky in his colour.
“Are you okay with this?” he asked finally, desperate for some reaction. “I mean, are you gonna hit me or something?”
Sky shrugged. “It would be better,” he said, confusing Jack for a moment. What would be better? Sky continued, “Relationships with civilians aren’t against regulations. Ours is. Was.”
Jack stared, unable to believe it. They’d been together months, and yet when it came to breaking up, all Sky could think of was the rules? “Well, that’s just great. I guess I shouldn’t feel even the tiniest bit upset about over this, because hey, we were breaking the rules!”
“Feel what you like. You’re the one doing this, not me.”
“Can’t you even pretend to, I don’t know, feel something?” Jack snapped, cursing himself even as he spoke. Sky did feel, he knew. But the other man had always been able to drive him mad, up the wall, so crazy all he could think about was kissing or fucking.
Neither of which he should think about now. He had Ally, and he was falling in love with her, this woman who matched him so perfectly. What Sky made him feel…what Sky had made him feel, in the past…
“I love her,” he said. “And what we had…I mean, it was just sex, right? We were always arguing. I used to annoy you, remember? Still do. We weren’t…I mean, we wouldn’t have worked. It was just sex. Relief. It didn’t mean anything.”
Lies, from Sky’s point of view, and maybe his too, but he wasn’t going to think about that. He loved Ally, in a pure, uncomplicated was. He and Sky were sex and arguments and issues. Not something he should feel sorry to walk away from. “It was just sex.”
“Yeah,” said Sky, not looking at Jack, voice so controlled it sounded almost computerised. “Just sex. I have to go. I’m on duty.”
He wasn’t. Jack knew Sky’s timetable by heart, and he still had two hours before he needed to report.
But he didn’t protest as Sky went, leaving Jack alone in the empty room, with its plain white walls.
List of 22: Loss