Challenge Fic: 'Midst of Life', Remus/Draco, NC-17

[anise_anise]

Author: Anise
Title: Midst of Life
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Remus/Draco
Warnings: none

A/N: This story was written for scribbulus-ink's 'I Don't Want to Die a Virgin' Challenge. Remus offers Draco shelter during the war. Harry isn't pleased.
Due to length, I have posted this story in two parts. There is a link to part two at the end.



"You've got to be joking." Harry Potter stood in the center of the cramped room with such a look of incredulity on his face that it was almost comical. The other Order members muttered quietly to one another and shifted uncomfortably.

"I assure you I am not." Albus Dumbledore looked gravely back at Harry. The usual twinkle was absent from his blue eyes.

"You can't seriously be thinking of leaving that slimy little git here!" Harry was livid.

Dumbledore gave him a sad smile. "Young Mr. Malfoy has given us very good information in order to aid us in our resistance against Voldemort. In order to do this, he has gone against his family and all of Voldemort's followers. He has no one to turn to for shelter and he is in grave danger. As this house now belongs to you, Harry,it is ultimately your decision. However, I urge you to think carefully about the choices with which you are faced. Draco Malfoy may not be a person whom you would consider a friend, but he is nevertheless a person. One who has just sacrificed himself to aid the side of the light, I might add."

"Then he must have some ulterior motive." Harry paced back and forth, irritation radiating off of him. "He probably only did what he did because he didn’t have any other choice. He would never choose to help me, or anyone that I am associated with. And now you want to bring him into the heart of the Order, where he will be privy to all sorts of information? Information that he can use against us!" He spat the words out violently, "I think you’re making a bad judgement call, Headmaster. I know you believe in giving second chances, but you mark my words, he will bite the hand that feeds him without a second thought."

"Mr. Malfoy would not be allowed to listen in on Order meetings, nor in fact, would he even be allowed out of this house. He would essentially be a prisoner here. I promise you, Harry, he poses no threat to us." Harry stood ramrod straight in the center of the room glaring at the Headmaster. Dumbledore sighed, and rubbed a hand across his eyes. Switching tactics he said, "I think perhaps Remus' input would be valued as well, seeing as how he is the one currently living here and would be the one whom would have the most contact with Mr. Malfoy. Remus?"

Remus Lupin, leaning back against the far wall and watching quietly as the scene before him played out, suddenly found himself the focus of every set of eyes in the room. Remus shifted and cleared his throat. Thanks a lot, Albus. He knew exactly what Dumbledore was playing at. Harry may indeed listen to him when all others had failed, but he also risked Harry’s ire being turned on him. Remus really wished he hadn’t been put in this position. He remembered the Malfoy boy from the year he had taught at Hogwarts. He was an arrogant, superior, know-it-all little brat. But he hadn’t struck Remus has having the makings of a killer. Then again, neither had Peter. He spoke quietly, and chose his words carefully. "I think, as long as the appropriate precautions are taken, that we would not be amiss to provide sanctuary to Mr. Malfoy."

Harry looked stunned. "You can’t be serious, Remus. You know how he is. You know Lucius Malfoy. The entire family is tainted." Green eyes looked at him, pleading. "Please, tell me you believe me."

Remus sighed. Of course he believed Harry, or at least Harry’s perception of the situation. Harry knew the Malfoy boy only through their mutual animosity. Remus was aware of what the boy had done, and of the dangers he faced. Harry might not care what happened to him but Remus could not, in good conscience, stand by idly and let a child face such horrors alone. Even if that child was Draco Malfoy. "Harry," he had to be careful here, "I do believe you. But I also believe that he should be brought under our protection." At Harry’s imminent interruption he raised a hand. "Let me finish. I know that Draco Malfoy was only a breath away from following in his father’s footsteps. It’s what he was raised to do. But, Harry, he’s really burned some bridges here. He can’t go back. Having said that, I also know that his recent change of heart doesn’t make him a good person. I would never allow him access to anything important while he is here. I promise that I am entirely capable of handling him." Remus delivered this all in his quiet, calm cadence.

Harry gave him a pained look, turned, and slumped into a chair on the opposite side of the room. "Alright, Professor. You have my permission to use the house." He sounded defeated, and Remus thought, a bit betrayed.

Dumbledore beamed. "Very good. Now, if there is nothing further? Fine. We will meet in a few days, and hopefully Severus will be able to attend." Snape had been present when Voldemort learned of the betrayal. He had not been spared punishment for, in Voldemort’s opinion, his abysmal attempts at leading the youth in the right direction. At least Lucius Malfoy had not escaped unscathed either. Currently, Snape was at Hogwarts recovering. This was probably a good thing, since he had been as against the idea of Draco staying here as Harry was. Remus was sure he wouldn’t have been as adverse to the suggestion if he, Remus, hadn’t been residing here.

The room cleared out quickly; members hurriedly shook hands and wandered out into the hall chatting amicably with one another. Remus smiled and nodded when he was addressed and waited patiently for everyone to leave. His eyes lit on Harry, still sitting across from him, head in hands. Terrific. He waited until the door closed behind the last person, then strode across the room, stopping directly in front of Harry’s chair.

"I don’t trust him, Remus," He said in a small voice. Harry didn’t move to look up; he just sat there, seeming so very young.

"I know." Remus laid a hand on top of his mop of inky black hair. Harry tensed at the gesture, so Remus let his hand fall away. Harry lifted his head to look up at him. Remus could see that his eyes were ringed with dark circles and his face looked drawn. "Have you been sleeping?" he asked gently. Harry shrugged and rubbed a hand across his forehead. Remus’ eyes were drawn to his scar. It looked more red than normal. "Your scar?"

"No more than usual," Harry mumbled.

"Harry…"

"I’ve got to go." He stood abruptly and moved toward the door. He looked back over his shoulder; "I’ll be at the Burrow. Call me if you need anything." And with that, he was gone.

Remus wished he wouldn’t shut him out. It had been this way for the past two years, since Sirius’ death. It seemed no one was able to get through to him. It was as if he were afraid of becoming close to anyone again. Hardly a surprise. He had lost so much at such a young age. Harry had become a very independent and very private young man, but Remus could tell he was barely holding on. He had tried to reach out to him, but in vain. And today certainly hadn’t helped to bridge the gap. "Fuck." Remus cursed under his breath. He looked around at the empty kitchen, discarded the idea of eating, and went to get ready for bed.

The portkey was set to activate at 1:35 in the afternoon. Remus spent the morning in the library working on correspondence and research for the Order. He put his books away as the time for the boy to arrive drew near. He wondered what the Malfoy heir thought about living under the same roof as a werewolf. He certainly let it be known what he felt for half-breeds while Remus was instructing him. He waited in the kitchen, and busied himself with fixing a late lunch in case his guest had not eaten. He turned after finishing his preparations and came face to face with Draco Malfoy. A very grown-up Draco Malfoy.

This was not the same child he had taught four years ago. Standing before him now was a young man, his tailored black robes swirling elegantly around his lithe frame. Silken white-blond locks draped softly around the delicate features of his pale face, brushing his squared shoulders gently. His eyes were the color of cold steel, and they glittered dangerously from beneath his pale lashes. He clutched a heavy trunk in one elegant, manicured hand. The other hung loosely at his side. He exuded arrogance in the way he held himself: shoulders back, chin held high, slight sneer marring his otherwise perfect pink lips. He looked around the kitchen with disdain.

"Professor," he drawled, "I absolutely love what you’ve done with the place." His cultured voice dripped with sarcasm; Remus felt his hackles rise. He would have lashed out if he hadn’t noticed that the boy’s knuckles were white where they wrapped around his trunk. His eyes moved back up to Draco’s, and for an instant something flashed behind those stormy depths.

"I actually had nothing to do with the décor, but thank you," Remus replied pleasantly. He saw surprise on that youthful face before the boy got control of his features. "Let’s get you settled, shall we?" He drew his wand and Malfoy tensed, waiting for the blow. With a flick of his wrist he levitated the trunk into the air and directed it toward the door. "Follow me please." With out waiting to see if the boy followed, Remus led the way up two flights of stairs to one of the guestrooms.

Remus sat the trunk down at the foot of the bed and turned to find Malfoy hovering in the doorway. The room was small, but clean. Its one window let sparse sunlight stream in over the bed. The double bed was covered in some of Mrs. Weasley’s quilts and a few feather pillows. He supposed it didn’t look like much to a boy who had spent his life in the lap of luxury. He turned towards Draco, who had edged slightly into the room, his expression giving away nothing.

"The lavatory is two doors down and my room is diagonally across the hall should you need anything. Have you eaten?" Malfoy tentatively shook his head. "I have something fixed up in the kitchen. I’ll show you around after you’ve had something to eat. Alright?"

"Fine," Malfoy replied tersely. Remus smiled, and led the way back down stairs.

Draco was tense and quiet throughout the meal. He spoke only when spoken to and even then his responses were short and acerbic. Still, Remus put forth a valiant effort to be accommodating. He was used to dealing with Harry and his monumental mood swings. He guessed he had become accustom to walking on eggshells, because it wasn’t too much of a chore not to strangle the brat. He gave a quick tour of the house, although he wasn’t sure it was necessary. The boy didn’t admit as much, but he felt sure that he had probably been here before. He was a Black on his mother’s side, Sirius’ first cousin, once removed. The house was probably happy to have a Black dwelling here once more. The thought made his heart ache. The only Black that he wanted to see dwelling here would never return. He stopped talking about the library and froze. Had that been Harry’s problem? On top of everything the boy was a relative of his godfather’s, one his godfather had hated. Harry knew well and good that Sirius’ family had driven him away. They had the same views as the boy who was standing in front of him. The boy who was looking at him as if he had grown a second head.

"Sorry," he muttered, "what was I saying?"

Sneer firmly in place, Draco replied, "The library?"

"Of course. Please feel free to look around." He ushered him into the room and saw interest spark in that young face for the first time. "You’re welcome to read anything you like. Just be wary of the ones on the top shelves. They’re a bit… temperamental." He gave Remus a quelling look, and then moved toward the cases. Remus watched him for a moment, then returned to his research at a table tucked away in the far corner. He quickly became engrossed in his project. When he looked up some time later, Draco had settled onto a fluffy chair by the fireplace, a book open in his lap. They read in silence for a long time, before Remus stood and said goodnight. He collected his papers and exited quietly, leaving the boy alone with his book.

The screams woke him up. He was on his feet, wand drawn and out the door before he even registered what had woken him. Across the hallway and into Malfoy's room where Draco lie writhing on the sheets, clawing at his neck. His naked chest, glistening with sweat, heaved as he thrashed, and the sheets twisted further around his legs and waist as he struggled. Remus laid down his wand and moved to the edge of the bed. He reached out and grasped Malfoy by his shoulders, shaking him softly at first and then harder.

"Malfoy. Wake up. Draco. Stop, it's only a dream." Those odd grey eyes sprang open staring blindly around. Remus could see panic taking hold of the boy’s features as he gasped for breath. "It’s alright, Draco. You had a nightmare." Remus kept his voice soft and loosened his grip on those thin shoulders. A spark of recognition showed as Draco’s eyes slowly adjusted to the dark. He took in his surroundings, breathing deep. "Would you like some water?" Draco nodded and Remus helped him sit up. He retrieved a glass from the nightstand and placed it in both of Draco’s trembling hands. After a few sips, Draco seemed to be calming down. He at least had gotten his voice back.

"Why are you being kind to me?" His face was blanketed in suspicion. Remus observed him closely; he seemed much smaller huddled atop the pillows of his bed. The white light filtering in through the cloudy window cast shadows along his perfect features.

"You haven’t given me a reason not to be, have you?" Remus kept his voice light, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Draco looked at him, nonplussed. He cleared his throat, and lifted his chin slightly to look Remus straight in the eye.

"I know what everyone thinks of me, and I am well aware of my actions. Haven’t given you a reason? I sat in your class for a year preaching pure blood superiority. I’ve gone after Potter in every way imaginable for the past seven years. I got you fired, and made my very best attempts at doing the same to others. Need I go on?" He sounded both arrogant and resolute.

Remus shook his head and chuckled. "You definitely were a handful. But you were a child, you still are in some ways."

"So that makes it alright then?" Malfoy spat, "He was a poor abused waif, he didn’t have a chance? I can assure you that even though I am no longer riding on my father’s coat tails, I am not a good person."

Remus saw the anger smoldering in his unusual grey eyes. Draco was the first to look away, turning his face toward the window. "Well," Remus began, "I can only go by what I have seen of you as you are now. You have not been overtly disrespectful to me since you’ve arrived." Draco snorted. "Therefore," Remus continued, ignoring him, "I will treat you as I would any guest, until such time that you give me reason not to."

Draco turned that piercing gaze of his on Remus once more. "Let me make this clear. I do not want, or need your pity." Remus was taken aback by the venom in the statement. Had the boy never trusted anyone? Probably not, considering the company he kept. Remus remembered well how the Slytherins behaved when he was in school. They would stab each other in the back as quickly as they would those from other houses. He didn’t want to consider what being the sole heir of Lucius Malfoy had been like.

"You don’t have it, Draco. But you do have my concern. And my help, if you find you should need it." Remus waited for the verbal blow he was sure would be coming. He was surprised then, when the boy merely nodded, looking extremely exhausted, and handed him the water glass. All of the fight had left him, and he seemed close to falling over. Remus sat the glass on the bedside table.

"Do you need anything else?" Draco shook his head as he slid back down on the bed, pulling the covers up, and turning to face the wall. Remus looked at his back for a moment, watching the rise and fall of his breathing. "Alright. If you need anything, I’m just across the hall." He got no response, and he hadn’t really expected one. He walked across the room and into the hall.

The door had almost shut when he heard a timid voice whisper, "Thank you." Remus didn’t think it would be appreciated to acknowledge it, so he simply smiled to himself and pulled the door closed.

He was fixing breakfast the next morning when Draco came silently into the room. He looked drawn and pallid, with the same circles around his eyes that Harry had been sporting lately. "Hungry?" Draco made a noncommittal noise and narrowed his eyes slightly. Nevertheless he pulled out a chair at the table and sat down, pouring himself some tea. Remus seated himself across from him. "You should eat," he said, as he pushed a plate of eggs and toast in front of the boy. "It won't do to have you escape from Voldemort, only to die of starvation."

"I haven't escaped yet." The words were muttered, but Remus heard them loud and clear.

"Why would you think that? You are safe here."

The half shrug he received at his statement reminded him of Harry. "My father is a very dominating man. He is accustomed to getting what he desires. Right now, he desires revenge." Draco finally looked up to meet his eyes. "Make no mistake. He will find me." His eyes glittered strangely as he stared evenly at Remus. He didn't sound frightened; on the contrary, he appeared to be very calm and resolute. Draco looked away first and began to pick at his breakfast.

"Lucius Malfoy is not the only person who is out for revenge," Remus said gently. "Eat. I won't have you making yourself ill." They fell silent as Draco ate his food. He laid the dishes in the sink when he was done and walked silently from the room. Remus couldn’t help but wonder what had been done to the boy. He shook his head and went to the library to get started on his research.

He found the boy later that day in the drawing room. He was standing in front of the Black family tapestry tracing the lines of the family tree lightly with one perfectly manicured finger. Remus stood silently in the doorway and watched as he moved his hand back and forth across the tapestry, stopping at his mother's name. He let his hand linger there for a moment and bowed his head. He stiffened and turned slowly. "Professor."

"Please. I am no longer a professor, and I haven't been your professor in 4 years."

The boy looked genuinely puzzled. "What should I call you then?"

"Remus is my given name," he said with a hint of playfulness in his voice, "I would think that would be the obvious choice." Malfoy shifted uneasily under the teasing tone. Good lord, had the boy never been joked with? Remus cleared his throat. "Find anything interesting?"

"Not really." He turned his gaze back to his ancestors, "I was wondering if perhaps I should have my name burned off of here as well." His voice was dull.

"Draco?" Remus asked.

"I could give fuck all about Lucius," the boy continued in the same dead voice, "but I never wanted to be a disappointment to her." Narcissa had died a few months ago, cause of death unknown. It was suspected that her husband had had a very heavy hand in the act. Her death may very well have precipitated Draco’s defection.

"I’m sure you weren’t," Remus said gently.

Draco dropped his hand and looked over at him. "You can’t tell me that. You can’t say something like that and even for one a second believe it to be true. You didn’t know her and you sure as hell don’t know me!" Draco’s voice rose, his body tense.

Remus took a step forward, moving toward the boy slowly, afraid that he might bolt. "I knew her when we were younger."

Draco’s eyes looked up at him, an emotion that looked very close to hope swirled in those cold depths. "Really?"

"Yes. She was a very proud young lady. She was very proper, and she was at the top of her class. But she wasn’t cruel, not like Lucius. I ran across her once helping to patch a younger child up after a duel. A child no one else would have helped. She was a good woman. I have no doubt she loved you, or that she was indeed proud."

Draco pondered this before tearing his eyes away from Remus. "I waited too long. I was too bloody worried about my own skin to even think that she might be in danger. I… It’s my…" he broke off and walked toward the door. Remus caught his arm to stop him and he jerked away violently. "Don’t." Rage burned in those eyes, and Remus wasn’t sure which one of them it was directed at.

He stepped back to let Draco pass, but as he reached the threshold Remus said quietly, "It was not your fault." Draco paused for a moment, his back to Remus. He watched the boy take a deep breath, and silently walk away.

Ensconced in the library yet again, Remus paused for a moment to consider just how much time he spent here. He really loved books, but as it was, he wanted to burn every last tome. He removed another dusty volume from the shelf, and walked back to the sofa. He had books spread out across the floor, some open, others marked, even others tied shut. Pieces of parchment littered the area and he shoved some out of the way before lowering himself to the floor. He leaned back against the sofa and pulled the newly acquired book into his lap. Engrossed in a passage, he heard a sound near the door. He looked up and found Draco standing uneasily in the doorway. "Can I help you?" he asked pleasantly.

Draco shifted his eyes away. "I didn’t mean to intrude," he said formally.

Remus shook his head. "Nonsense. I told you that you are welcome here whenever you like. Please, come in." He watched as Draco came into the room, obviously ill at ease. The boy wandered around the room, gazing at the shelves, and soon pulled down a volume from the potions section. Draco walked toward the door, apparently meaning to go read elsewhere.

"Draco, you can stay here and read, if you like. I promise I won’t bite," Remus said with a grin.

Draco stopped and stiffened. Then his body visibly relaxed, and he turned to face Remus. "I didn’t think I was allowed," he said, silkily, "to be around when Order business was being conducted."

Remus was shocked. "Why would you think that I’m working on something for the Order?"

Draco smirked, "Those are all books that hold information on blood bonds." Remus raised his eyebrows. How on earth had Draco known that? The question must have shown on his face. "The library at Malfoy Manor rivals this one. I was never restricted from it." Draco watched him closely for a reaction.

"You are a very intelligent and insightful young man, Draco. You must have spent a lot of time there." Apparently this was not the reaction the boy had expected. Remus nearly grinned at the look of disbelief on Draco’s face. "Something wrong?"

Draco shook his head, and walked to a chair in the corner. He sat down and opened his book, not looking at Remus. Remus watched him for a while before going back to his research. They sat in companionable silence for a long time. Remus was surprised to find that he did not mind having Malfoy in the house with him. In fact, he thought he might even enjoy having another person around. The house was huge, and he felt as if he were rattling around in it on his own. He looked up at Draco, and saw him suppress a yawn. "Why don’t you go on to bed?"

Draco started, and looked over at Remus. "What?"

"You look exhausted. It’s late. You should get some sleep. The book will still be here in the morning."

Draco narrowed his eyes at Remus. "I’m fine. Thank you," he said tersely. The rings under his eyes told a different story.

"You’re not. Come on." Remus lifted himself off the floor, wincing at the popping noise his knees made. He gathered his papers together, and walked over to stand in front of Draco. "You need to rest," he said gently, "You’ve had a rough few days, and it’s taking its toll." Draco opened his mouth. "No arguments." Remus cut him off.

Draco closed his book, and stood. "Fine," he spat, before sweeping past Remus, and out of the room.

Remus followed him up the stairs, flushing hotly when he realized that he had been watching the play of tight muscle over the boy’s backside as he climbed. You’re turning into a dirty old man, Remus. The voice in his head sounded suspiciously like Sirius. Remus caught himself before he laughed out loud. Sirius would have been so amused by Remus checking out his young charge. He felt a twinge of longing in his chest. God, he missed Sirius. He looked up from his position at the top of the stairs, and watched the boy enter his room, shutting the door behind him. Remus shook his head, wondering if the boy would be this standoffish for the entire time he was here. He slowly walked down the hall toward his room, where he quickly readied himself for bed.

The next few weeks passed much the same as the first few days. The occupants of 12 Grimmauld Place avoided each other for the most part. They would generally eat breakfast together, but then go their separate ways for the rest of the day. However, once the sun began to set on the horizon, they both made their way to the library. They sat in silence every night, Remus working, and Draco reading. Conversation was sparse. Draco didn’t seem to be amenable to the idea of chatting with Remus, and Remus didn’t press the issue.

Every few nights Remus found himself perched on the edge of Draco’s bed, offering comfort from his violent dreams, while trying not to notice that the boy wore entirely too little to sleep in. Draco accepted his company, then, in the darkest hours of the night. He allowed Remus to get close enough to touch him, to bring him water, to tell him he was safe. Neither of them mentioned their nighttime encounters by the light of day.

Members of the Order came in and out frequently, but Draco avoided them all. The Order had met several times since Draco had come to live there. Despite worries of the members, meetings had gone off without a hitch. Draco stayed safely tucked away in his room for the duration of both meetings, only coming out when Remus ventured to knock on his door after everyone had left. Harry had been in attendance at the meetings, and had seemed even more distant toward Remus than before. Remus tried to speak with Harry, only to be brushed aside with vague excuses as to why he couldn’t remain to visit, leaving Remus unsettled. He wasn’t sure how to breach the gap between he and Harry, that had been growing larger by the day, nor how to approach Draco, who nearly ran from the room when spoken to. Things would probably have continued on the same way, if not for the full moon.

They were seated across from each other at the kitchen table, both picking at their food. Remus cleared his throat, and waited for Draco to look up at him through his perfect, blond fringe. "Full moon’s tonight," Remus said clearly, never taking his eyes off of the aloof young man. He watched as Draco dropped his fork with a clatter, and pale even further. Grey eyes widened, and Draco nodded once before dropping his eyes back to the table. "It’s not for you to worry," Remus said quietly, "I have the wolfsbane potion, and I will be magically locked up. The Order is even sending someone to stay tonight, to ensure your safety." Draco looked even more unsettled.

"That’s not necessary," Draco said quickly, "I am sure the precautions that you take will be enough."

Remus eyed him. "I think having someone here would be in your best interest. You can’t do magic, and you have no way of protecting yourself on the off chance that something goes wrong."

Draco was already shaking his head and standing. "No. I don’t like it. I’ve been very compliant these last few weeks. I think that I have taken my imprisonment here in stride. But I do not think it necessary for me to be babysat while you are indisposed."

Remus sat very still, afraid that if he moved too suddenly Malfoy would bolt. "We are doing this for your own protection," he said gently.

"Fuck that!" Draco nearly shouted. "You don’t give a damn about me! It’s nothing to do with that. This is about the Order not trusting me to be in this house alone. Merlin knows what I could find. Perhaps I could uncover something detrimental to the side of the light, and find a way of getting it back to my father," he spat the word out as if it were poison. "Because I care so much for Lucius, that I would risk my life, what pitiful bit there is left of it, to get him information so that he can promote himself further in Voldemort’s ranks. Even after what he did. Like I could forgive him that. After I watched him do it, watched him laughing. He forced me to stay. He…" Draco turned away quickly, gasping for breath. Remus could see him shaking with repressed rage, his fists clenched at his sides.

Remus stood and walked carefully around the table. He approached Draco cautiously, stopping just within reach, not quite daring to touch him. "What did he do?" he whispered. Draco shook his head. "Draco, please."

Draco took a shuddering breath. "He killed her."

The words were spoken so softly, that for a moment Remus was sure he had imagined them. Oh, my God. He took in Draco’s defeated posture, head bowed, shoulders slumped. He knew that Lucius Malfoy had probably participated in his wife’s death. He had not fathomed that he would have forced his only son to watch.

"Draco…"

"Don’t," Draco tensed. "Please, don’t."

Remus put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. The amount of pain in those silver eyes was staggering. He pulled the boy to him slowly, giving him ample opportunity to pull away. He was surprised, however, when he did not. Draco went stiffly into Remus’ warm embrace. Remus rested his head against those silken locks, which did indeed feel as soft as they looked, and held him. After a minute, he felt Draco relax slightly, and bring his arms up to encircle his waist. He felt tremors racing through the lithe frame. Remus held him gently, until the shaking subsided. He pulled back a bit to look at the boy’s face. He was shocked that there were no tears marring Draco’s porcelain features. Remus reached up and carefully brushed a strand of flaxen hair out of Draco’s eyes. Still entangled, he opened his mouth to speak. He never got the chance.

"What in the hell is this?" Harry’s angry voice echoed off the stone walls of the kitchen. Draco released him and stepped back as Remus spun around.

"Harry. What are you…" But Harry didn’t let him finish.

"I own this house. I can bloody well come and go as I please," Harry said viciously. "I’m not the one that needs to be answering questions. Is this why you defended him? Why you went against my wishes and rallied for him to be allowed here? Jesus, Remus, if I had known you were that hard up, I would have hired you a whore." Draco sucked in a sharp breath. "But then I guess you figured this way was free, and that is all he’s good for anymore."

Remus saw red. "Out," he growled. He was across the room in three long strides, gripping Harry tightly around the arm, and propelling him toward the stairs. "In the hallway. Now." He pushed Harry ahead of him, not caring that he caused him to stumble on one of the risers, and feeling angrier than he could remember feeling in a very long time. They reached the hallway and he pushed Harry from him roughly, ignoring the complete look of shock in Harry’s emerald eyes. "Why?" Remus whispered, trying to get control of his temper. "Why would you do something so deliberately cruel?"

Harry stood across from him, his anger showing itself again, winning out over the shock of being treated that way by Remus. "I don’t believe you! Do you have any idea who you’re defending? Draco Malfoy is a pathetic excuse for a human being. He’s a vile, evil little shit, who doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself! I couldn’t understand why you would have ever agreed to this. Well, now I know. Hell, I can even understand. I’ve always thought that the only reason he should ever open his mouth was to put a cock in it." Harry’s eyes were wild, and he was panting.

Remus took a step forward. "I have never wanted to hit someone as much as I want to hit you right now," he said evenly. "You are acting so much like James, that it’s frightening." Harry staggered back at the words, his hands coming up to his chest, as if he had sustained a physical blow. "That boy down there, regardless of what he has done in the past, is under our protection. He has been through hell and back in the past month. He risked his neck to help us." Remus raised a hand to halt any comment from Harry. "I don’t care why he did it, the fact remains that we are better off now because of it. He was thrown here, into this God forsaken house, with no friends, hardly any possessions, and no magic. He was expected to trust us, people who he knew hated him. And guess what? He hasn’t bitched about it, he hasn’t felt sorry for himself, in fact, he won’t even allow anyone close enough to him to make sure that he’s alright."

"That’s not what it looked like to me," Harry hissed.

Remus sighed. "I will not betray his trust in order to rectify your absurd accusations. I had thought that by now you would trust me, even if you do not trust him. Apparently, I was wrong. I shouldn’t be surprised; you’ve shut me out, along with the rest of the world since Sirius died."

"You have no right to bring him into this…"

"I have every right," Remus barked. "I was his best friend! I was here. I watched him as this house slowly sucked the life out of him. There was nothing I could do, because he wouldn’t let me. I will not see the same thing happen to that young man. You can believe what you want, Harry. But I won’t apologize to you for doing what I feel is right. You need to grow up, and stop behaving as if the entire world is a boarding school. There are things more important than petty grudges." Remus knew he was hurting Harry. He saw the effects his words had. But he could not allow Harry to get away with his actions. He had spent too much of his life not acting when he needed to. "As a child I sat back and watched James and Sirius do and say anything they felt like, consequences be damned. I am an adult now, and I understand that while loyalty is very important, so is honor." He stopped to take a breath, and watched Harry slump against the wall.

"I can’t believe this," Harry murmured, shaking his head slowly from side to side.

"I won’t allow you to treat him like that. You know that I care for you," Harry’s head shot up at that, "and I would do anything for you. But you can’t do this. I won’t let your hatred of him turn you into a monster."

"Is that what you thought of my father? Of Sirius?"

Remus shook his head. "I was a different person then. I had different views. I was more concerned with keeping them in my life than standing up to them."

Harry glared at him. "And you don’t care whether I’m in your life or not. Is that it?"

"You’re twisting my words." Remus said, exasperatedly. "You know I want you in my life. But I will not go against my beliefs, against what my heart tells me, to attain that. Nothing is worth selling yourself out, Harry. Nothing."

Harry stared at him for a moment, searching his eyes. Finally he sighed, "I won’t stop hating him."

"I’m not asking you to. All I want is for you to treat him with a modicum of respect. Surely that is doable."

"And if he doesn’t do the same for me?"

Remus smiled, sadly. "I think he will. Give it a chance, Harry. You don’t have to be around him at all, if you don’t want. At the very least you can avoid him."

Harry gave a derisive laugh. "You don’t know why I’m here, do you?"

"Why did you come?" Remus asked wearily.

"I’m the golden boy’s guard for tonight," Harry said with a smirk.

Remus put his face in his hands and groaned. "Harry, I don’t think…"

"Don’t worry; I’ll steer clear of him." He raised his right hand. "I promise that he will be in one piece in the morning."

Remus looked up at him through his fingers. Harry was leaning against the wall, looking as tired as he had ever seen him. His own anger evaporated in the face of Harry’s fatigue. "Are you all right?"

Harry tipped his head back, and closed his eyes. "I can’t help feeling betrayed."

"For that, I am sorry." Harry nodded once. "Why are you here so early?" Remus coaxed.

"I came to see if you needed anything before tonight. I didn’t think you’d feel like going out."

"No, I don’t. But I have what I need. Thank you."

Harry gave a half-hearted shrug. "Alright. I’ll be back at dusk." He turned without another word and walked to the front door. He looked back over his shoulder, and gave Remus an unreadable look. Remus stood still under the scrutiny, until at last Harry seemed to have found what he was looking for. He opened the door and disappeared into the early morning light.

Remus looked at the closed door, wondering how everything had gotten so screwed up. "If you were here, Sirius, I’d kick your arse," he muttered as he walked slowly back down the stairs to the kitchen.

Draco was standing in the exact spot he’d left him. The look on his face was a cross between anger and disbelief. There was no question in Remus’ mind, that Draco had heard every word. Remus moved closer to him, preparing to try and calm Draco down after having found out that Harry would be the one sleeping here tonight. He opened his mouth to speak, but Draco cut him off.

"You defended me." The boy said accusingly.

Remus had expected a lot of things, but he certainly hadn’t expected that. "Er… yes."

"You stood up for me. To Potter." Draco’s cool gaze never left his face.

"I did." Remus agreed.

"Why?" Draco managed to sound both affronted and confused.

‘How could I not?’ Remus thought. He couldn’t believe Draco was questioning it. How could he have stood by and let anyone talk about him that way? "Because," he said gently, "he was out of line. He had no right to speak that way of you."

"Nothing has ever stopped either of us from laying into each other." Draco muttered.

"Well, things have changed."

"Nothing’s changed," Draco hissed, cold anger creeping back into his voice.

Remus tentatively placed a hand on Draco’s arm. "Yes, it has. You are both different from the children you once were. The sooner you both realize this, the easier things will be for both of you."

Draco watched him. Misty grey eyes followed his every move. He could feel the muscles underneath his grip tremble slightly before relaxing. Draco let out a long breath, and nodded. "Alright."

Well, that seemed just too easy. Harry had put up a good fight. "Harry will stay here tonight." Remus told him gently. He watched for any reaction from Draco "I’m sorry."

Draco looked nonplussed, but only shrugged. "I think that the house will be big enough. I’ll stay in my room." He gave a half-hearted attempt at a smile. "And you’re right, it is only one night. Forgive me for acting so ungrateful earlier."

Remus shook his head. "You have every right." Without thinking, he reached up and ran his hand lightly along Draco’s soft cheek. The boy’s eyes widened and he drew in a sharp breath, but he held very still under the caress. Remus let his hand fall away, and felt his face burn under Malfoy’s questioning gaze. What in the hell was wrong with him? He cleared his throat, and stepped back. "I have preparations to make for tonight. I’ll talk to you later." Draco nodded, never taking his eyes off Remus. He could still feel them burning into his skin as he hastily left the kitchen.

Part 2