Fic- Missing
Title: Missing (Always-Sequel)
Length: 1/1
Author: Anim22
Rating: Pg13
Genre: Drama, angst,
Pairing: Jae/Yunho
Summary: Yunho’s self-destruction.
A/N: Hope you like it^^.
I promised everyone a second part, but somehow this chapter came to me first. I don’t consider this one as the second part that everyone wants. Well this one-shot is based on the song called “Missing” by everything but the girl(Weird name for a band). I like the lyrics but I like the video even more. I got inspired by the first 30s of the song. I hope everyone likes this short story too, I hope it is as good as the previous one.
I dedicated this fic to kattan69 for giving me the inspiration, and of course hearoffire03 for for editing this fic as well, and she recommended to listen to Jaejoong's single, 'Crying'. I think the song fit the story, since from the song I chose, I only got inspired by the video.
This one I don’t feel it has a lot of angst as the first part. And please please leave a comment. Your comment inspire me to continue writing.
Finally, the most important thing. Please tell me if you want a happy ending(Jae and Yunho together) or not, majority rules. So please tell me what you want for the final chapter.
Thank you to the people that commented.
I step off the train…
“Jaejoong…” Yunho whispered to nobody in particular as he walked towards his old apartment, towards the apartment where he used to live with his only love.
The place where he was happy at one point in his life.
It was dark and late but he didn’t care anymore. The faint street lights were his only companion at the moment. He walked slowly without looking; he could go there with his eyes closed. Every step was more painful than the last one, with one bottle of whiskey in his hand; he continued to follow the path towards that place where he could only find memories and nothing else.
I'm walkin' down your street again,
And past your door…
He tumbled a few times as his system was stupor of alcohol and heartache. The passing car’s light blinded him, but he had to go there. Every building, every house, every street was engraved in his memory…
“It reminds me of you.” He murmured unconsciously.
Finally, he was there. He looked up towards the window, the window where countless times he and his love enjoyed looking out into the night.
-----
Flashback…
“Yunnie, do you think we can live here forever? I really like this place, it’s….quiet.” Jae said while Yunho held him from behind.
They were in front of the window looking at the beauty of the night. Yunho was caressing his stomach. Jae was holding his hands as they trace his pale skin.
“Of course, anything for you.” Yunho whispered in Jae’s ear, sending shivers down the others body.
“Maybe we could move into the apartment above…It’s much bigger.” Jae smiled coyly.
“Why would we need a bigger place? Don’t you think this is enough for both of us?” Yunho asked, surprise evident in his voice.
“I don’t know…Maybe someday we’ll need to live in a bigger place.” He turned around and kissed Yunho hard on the lips before Yunho could ask him more questions.
“God Jae, you sure are weird. First you tell me you want to stay here and now you want to move to a bigger place…” Yunho replied while holding Jae against his body.
“You dummy…I said I wanted to stay in this place. I never said in the same apartment”. He laughed while hitting Yunho on the chest.
“Are you hiding something from me?” Yunho asked mysteriously as picked Jaejoong up from the floor.
“Hey! Where are you taking me!?” Jae yelled out in surprise.
“I have many questions for you…” Yunho replied. “And I think there’s only one place where I can get all the answers from you…”
Jae laughed as he accused Yunho of being a pervert, “Ah, I love you…Take me wherever you want to take me then…”
Both started to laugh as they walk towards their bedroom.
----
He took everything for granted. He collapsed on the stairs; he didn’t dare to go up.
But you don't live there anymore…
“Where are you Jae?” Yunho asked himself thousand of times.
Three months after he left, he went back only to find nothing. He was gone, not a single trace left behind. He asked around but nobody knew where he had gone, he had disappeared.
“I need you Jae…I need you so much…” He started to cry.
He continued to drink, burning his throat but he welcomed the pain. He drank even more, he wanted to forget everything. But he knew that that was impossible. Not even drinking himself to death would make him forget the other. The intoxicating beverage just brought a few minutes of numbness where he could breathe a little bit easier. But just as the pain lessen, it came back twice as hard.
“I deserve it.” He thought.
Its years since you've been there,
and now you've disappeared somewhere,
like outer space,
you’ve found some better place…
It has been five years since he last saw Jaejoong. He still could hear Jae’s last words. Jaejoong was right, he regretted everything.
He missed Jae every single day. At the beginning, he could fool himself into thinking that he was okay but now he was nothing but a wreck soul. He graduated and went to work with his father. He poured his mind and body into work, it was the only way. His parents were happy, everyone was happy….except for him.
“Jae, have you found somebody else? Have you forgotten me?” He asked the air around him as he cried harder. He so badly wanted to scream out his pain and the pain that he had caused.
And I miss you...
Like the deserts miss the rain,
and I miss you…
Oh,
like the deserts miss the rain…
“I miss you Jae…” He started to mumble talking with his ghost that fed on his pain. “I have no one to hug me and make me happy. I have nothing to do, nothing satisfies me anymore.”
People just entered the building without looking at the disgraceful drunk at the footsteps.
“I have no reason to live…I have nothing if I don’t have you…” He said out loud, his voice beginning a journey to crescendo. “I still remember our fights, I still remember your smile, and I still remember your body…”
He threw the bottle to the ground. The bottle shattered into million of pieces, just like what happened to Jaejoong’s heart.
“If you don’t love me anymore what am I going to do? I fucking miss you so much…Jae, please come back, and please come back to me…” He talked out loud. “I have nothing if I don’t have you; I just want you to be near me again. You were the only reason why I was happy. Your kisses and caresses were the only thing that made me want to live…I don’t want to cry anymore…Did you cry as much as I am crying now?”
He pause.
“Please forgive me.” He was loosing his mind. “What have I done to you?”
‘To you…to you…to you…’
Could you be dead?
You always were two steps ahead,
Of ev'ryone…
We'd walk behind while you would run
I look up at your house,
and I can almost hear you shout, down to me
where I always used to be…
“Where are you Jae? Are you okay? Are you in good hands? You were always so much stronger than me…You stood up for me; you left everything for me and I…I’m coward for not standing up to my parents, you deserved better than that and more…” He continued his repentance out loud.
“Jaejoong…! Jaejoong…! Jaejoong…!” Yunho started to yell at the top of his lungs.
A man from the building suddenly came out, “Shut up you stupid drunk! How many times do I have to tell you that that person doesn’t live here anymore!” The man bellowed, obviously irritated from the commotion he had made. “The next time you come here and do this again I’m going to call the cops on you. Now get out of here!” And with that, the man pushed Yunho off of the steps, making him tumble down onto the dirty floor. He didn’t say a word…
And I miss you…
(Like the deserts miss the rain)
And I miss you…
(Like the deserts miss the rain)
“I don’t care about anything anymore…I just want to be with you…” His phone suddenly beeped.
“Who the hell is this?” He slurred the words out, not even caring whoever the hell it was on the other line.
“Hyung, where are you? Your parents are worried about you. You didn’t come to work today. Where are you?” Junsu asked in a panic.
“Why can’t everybody just leave me alone?! My parents!? They’re worried about me!?” He started to laugh hysterically. “They destroyed my life! Now I just want to be left alone!” He whispered out the last words, almost over the brink of crying.
“Hyung, you’re drunk. You need help.” Junsu calmly replied back, as he wondered where his hyung was.
“I only need one person in my life and that person is not you…” And with that said he hung up.
He searched his pockets, he needed more money. He was out of alcohol. He needed something immediately to numb his pain once again.
“Where is a fucking store when you need one?” He cursed out loud. He had no other choice but to leave.
Back on the train
I ask why did I come again
Can I confess?
I've been hangin' 'round your old address,
and the years have proved
to offer nothin' since you moved
You're long gone
But I can't move on…
“Why do I keep coming back here again?” He sat down at the stairs again to spend yet another night of heavy drinking.
“I am drinking for you and only for you Jae.” Yunho started to shout again, his eyes void of any tears.
“Damn drunk, I told you not to come back here anymore!” The man from the night before started to yell to an oblivious Yunho. He approached Yunho suddenly and hit him right on the face. Yunho fell down and started to call for his love once again, “Jaejoong? Jaejoong where are you?”
“That’s it I calling the cops. You useless drunk…”
The man approached Yunho to hit him again, but was stopped by another hand.
And I miss you
Oh-oh (Like the deserts miss the rain)
And I miss you, yeah
(Like the deserts miss the rain) And I miss you
“What are you doing here? Leave me alone. How did you know I was here anyway?” Yunho asked surprised to see his cousin there.
“Sir, please don’t call the cops, I’ll take care of him.” Junsu begged the man.
“Just take him away; he’s bothering all the neighbors.” The man calmed down and left.
“Hyung, don’t you know who you are? Look at you.” Junsu kneeled down and pick up Yunho from the floor.
“Do you think I care? I have nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing.” Yunho started to cry on Junsu’s shoulder. “He left me…I don’t know where he is and its killing me.”
“Hyung, you were the one that left him remember? Don’t forget that.” Junsu accused Yunho. “You brought this upon yourself; don’t ask for pity from anyone, it was your decision.” Junsu added coldly.
“Don’t you think I know that by now!? Don’t you think I realized that!?” Yunho hissed as he pushed Junsu away from him.
“Junsu, help me, I don’t know what to do anymore. I know he is better off without a spineless coward like me but I just can’t forget him.” Yunho sobbed helplessly. “He’s everywhere; he’s all that I can think of…” And with that, he broke down and cried and yelled once again.
“I just want him near me…” He sobbed.
“Come on hyung, let’s go…” Yunho didn’t protest for he didn’t have anymore energy. He just wanted to sleep. Maybe in his dream he could see Jaejoong once again…
I step off the train
I'm walkin' down your street again
Past your door
I guess you don't live there anymore
It's years since you've been there
And now you've disappeared somewhere
Like outer space
You've found some better place
A week later……
Yunho was once again in front of his old apartment, but this time he was sober. It was a cold day but he didn’t care, he felt nothing anyway. He just wanted to be in a familiar place, a place where he could at least feel Jaejoong’s presence.
“Jae, I’ll find you…I’ll find you…”
“Hyung? What’re you doing here again?”
“Leave me alone.”
“No, you’re destroying your life.” Junsu raised his voice to see if he could get through his hyung’s stubborn mind.
“Be a man and confront your fears, take your responsibility for your decision”. Junsu scream at Yunho as he grabbed his hyung’s shoulders and shook it. “What do you get from crying huh!? Are your tears going to bring him back?? Do you think being a drunken mess everyday is going to change the past?! Answer me damnit!”
“I told you to leave me alone, it’s my life” Yunho sighed, taking a bottle of whiskey from one of his jacket’s pocket.
Junsu took the bottle away from him. “You’re going to die if you keep doing this…”
“Don’t you understand that I don’t care, Junsu? I just need to see him…” He threw himself onto the floor, sobbing.
Junsu wanted to so badly cry along side him, his cousin was disappearing in front of him…and all he could do was to caress the elder’s hair.
“Maybe I should tell him where Jaejoong is…” He silently thought to himself.
The End.
Length: 1/1
Author: Anim22
Rating: Pg13
Genre: Drama, angst,
Pairing: Jae/Yunho
Summary: Yunho’s self-destruction.
A/N: Hope you like it^^.
I promised everyone a second part, but somehow this chapter came to me first. I don’t consider this one as the second part that everyone wants. Well this one-shot is based on the song called “Missing” by everything but the girl(Weird name for a band). I like the lyrics but I like the video even more. I got inspired by the first 30s of the song. I hope everyone likes this short story too, I hope it is as good as the previous one.
I dedicated this fic to kattan69 for giving me the inspiration, and of course hearoffire03 for for editing this fic as well, and she recommended to listen to Jaejoong's single, 'Crying'. I think the song fit the story, since from the song I chose, I only got inspired by the video.
This one I don’t feel it has a lot of angst as the first part. And please please leave a comment. Your comment inspire me to continue writing.
Finally, the most important thing. Please tell me if you want a happy ending(Jae and Yunho together) or not, majority rules. So please tell me what you want for the final chapter.
Thank you to the people that commented.
I step off the train…
“Jaejoong…” Yunho whispered to nobody in particular as he walked towards his old apartment, towards the apartment where he used to live with his only love.
The place where he was happy at one point in his life.
It was dark and late but he didn’t care anymore. The faint street lights were his only companion at the moment. He walked slowly without looking; he could go there with his eyes closed. Every step was more painful than the last one, with one bottle of whiskey in his hand; he continued to follow the path towards that place where he could only find memories and nothing else.
I'm walkin' down your street again,
And past your door…
He tumbled a few times as his system was stupor of alcohol and heartache. The passing car’s light blinded him, but he had to go there. Every building, every house, every street was engraved in his memory…
“It reminds me of you.” He murmured unconsciously.
Finally, he was there. He looked up towards the window, the window where countless times he and his love enjoyed looking out into the night.
-----
Flashback…
“Yunnie, do you think we can live here forever? I really like this place, it’s….quiet.” Jae said while Yunho held him from behind.
They were in front of the window looking at the beauty of the night. Yunho was caressing his stomach. Jae was holding his hands as they trace his pale skin.
“Of course, anything for you.” Yunho whispered in Jae’s ear, sending shivers down the others body.
“Maybe we could move into the apartment above…It’s much bigger.” Jae smiled coyly.
“Why would we need a bigger place? Don’t you think this is enough for both of us?” Yunho asked, surprise evident in his voice.
“I don’t know…Maybe someday we’ll need to live in a bigger place.” He turned around and kissed Yunho hard on the lips before Yunho could ask him more questions.
“God Jae, you sure are weird. First you tell me you want to stay here and now you want to move to a bigger place…” Yunho replied while holding Jae against his body.
“You dummy…I said I wanted to stay in this place. I never said in the same apartment”. He laughed while hitting Yunho on the chest.
“Are you hiding something from me?” Yunho asked mysteriously as picked Jaejoong up from the floor.
“Hey! Where are you taking me!?” Jae yelled out in surprise.
“I have many questions for you…” Yunho replied. “And I think there’s only one place where I can get all the answers from you…”
Jae laughed as he accused Yunho of being a pervert, “Ah, I love you…Take me wherever you want to take me then…”
Both started to laugh as they walk towards their bedroom.
----
He took everything for granted. He collapsed on the stairs; he didn’t dare to go up.
But you don't live there anymore…
“Where are you Jae?” Yunho asked himself thousand of times.
Three months after he left, he went back only to find nothing. He was gone, not a single trace left behind. He asked around but nobody knew where he had gone, he had disappeared.
“I need you Jae…I need you so much…” He started to cry.
He continued to drink, burning his throat but he welcomed the pain. He drank even more, he wanted to forget everything. But he knew that that was impossible. Not even drinking himself to death would make him forget the other. The intoxicating beverage just brought a few minutes of numbness where he could breathe a little bit easier. But just as the pain lessen, it came back twice as hard.
“I deserve it.” He thought.
Its years since you've been there,
and now you've disappeared somewhere,
like outer space,
you’ve found some better place…
It has been five years since he last saw Jaejoong. He still could hear Jae’s last words. Jaejoong was right, he regretted everything.
He missed Jae every single day. At the beginning, he could fool himself into thinking that he was okay but now he was nothing but a wreck soul. He graduated and went to work with his father. He poured his mind and body into work, it was the only way. His parents were happy, everyone was happy….except for him.
“Jae, have you found somebody else? Have you forgotten me?” He asked the air around him as he cried harder. He so badly wanted to scream out his pain and the pain that he had caused.
And I miss you...
Like the deserts miss the rain,
and I miss you…
Oh,
like the deserts miss the rain…
“I miss you Jae…” He started to mumble talking with his ghost that fed on his pain. “I have no one to hug me and make me happy. I have nothing to do, nothing satisfies me anymore.”
People just entered the building without looking at the disgraceful drunk at the footsteps.
“I have no reason to live…I have nothing if I don’t have you…” He said out loud, his voice beginning a journey to crescendo. “I still remember our fights, I still remember your smile, and I still remember your body…”
He threw the bottle to the ground. The bottle shattered into million of pieces, just like what happened to Jaejoong’s heart.
“If you don’t love me anymore what am I going to do? I fucking miss you so much…Jae, please come back, and please come back to me…” He talked out loud. “I have nothing if I don’t have you; I just want you to be near me again. You were the only reason why I was happy. Your kisses and caresses were the only thing that made me want to live…I don’t want to cry anymore…Did you cry as much as I am crying now?”
He pause.
“Please forgive me.” He was loosing his mind. “What have I done to you?”
‘To you…to you…to you…’
Could you be dead?
You always were two steps ahead,
Of ev'ryone…
We'd walk behind while you would run
I look up at your house,
and I can almost hear you shout, down to me
where I always used to be…
“Where are you Jae? Are you okay? Are you in good hands? You were always so much stronger than me…You stood up for me; you left everything for me and I…I’m coward for not standing up to my parents, you deserved better than that and more…” He continued his repentance out loud.
“Jaejoong…! Jaejoong…! Jaejoong…!” Yunho started to yell at the top of his lungs.
A man from the building suddenly came out, “Shut up you stupid drunk! How many times do I have to tell you that that person doesn’t live here anymore!” The man bellowed, obviously irritated from the commotion he had made. “The next time you come here and do this again I’m going to call the cops on you. Now get out of here!” And with that, the man pushed Yunho off of the steps, making him tumble down onto the dirty floor. He didn’t say a word…
And I miss you…
(Like the deserts miss the rain)
And I miss you…
(Like the deserts miss the rain)
“I don’t care about anything anymore…I just want to be with you…” His phone suddenly beeped.
“Who the hell is this?” He slurred the words out, not even caring whoever the hell it was on the other line.
“Hyung, where are you? Your parents are worried about you. You didn’t come to work today. Where are you?” Junsu asked in a panic.
“Why can’t everybody just leave me alone?! My parents!? They’re worried about me!?” He started to laugh hysterically. “They destroyed my life! Now I just want to be left alone!” He whispered out the last words, almost over the brink of crying.
“Hyung, you’re drunk. You need help.” Junsu calmly replied back, as he wondered where his hyung was.
“I only need one person in my life and that person is not you…” And with that said he hung up.
He searched his pockets, he needed more money. He was out of alcohol. He needed something immediately to numb his pain once again.
“Where is a fucking store when you need one?” He cursed out loud. He had no other choice but to leave.
Back on the train
I ask why did I come again
Can I confess?
I've been hangin' 'round your old address,
and the years have proved
to offer nothin' since you moved
You're long gone
But I can't move on…
“Why do I keep coming back here again?” He sat down at the stairs again to spend yet another night of heavy drinking.
“I am drinking for you and only for you Jae.” Yunho started to shout again, his eyes void of any tears.
“Damn drunk, I told you not to come back here anymore!” The man from the night before started to yell to an oblivious Yunho. He approached Yunho suddenly and hit him right on the face. Yunho fell down and started to call for his love once again, “Jaejoong? Jaejoong where are you?”
“That’s it I calling the cops. You useless drunk…”
The man approached Yunho to hit him again, but was stopped by another hand.
And I miss you
Oh-oh (Like the deserts miss the rain)
And I miss you, yeah
(Like the deserts miss the rain) And I miss you
“What are you doing here? Leave me alone. How did you know I was here anyway?” Yunho asked surprised to see his cousin there.
“Sir, please don’t call the cops, I’ll take care of him.” Junsu begged the man.
“Just take him away; he’s bothering all the neighbors.” The man calmed down and left.
“Hyung, don’t you know who you are? Look at you.” Junsu kneeled down and pick up Yunho from the floor.
“Do you think I care? I have nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing.” Yunho started to cry on Junsu’s shoulder. “He left me…I don’t know where he is and its killing me.”
“Hyung, you were the one that left him remember? Don’t forget that.” Junsu accused Yunho. “You brought this upon yourself; don’t ask for pity from anyone, it was your decision.” Junsu added coldly.
“Don’t you think I know that by now!? Don’t you think I realized that!?” Yunho hissed as he pushed Junsu away from him.
“Junsu, help me, I don’t know what to do anymore. I know he is better off without a spineless coward like me but I just can’t forget him.” Yunho sobbed helplessly. “He’s everywhere; he’s all that I can think of…” And with that, he broke down and cried and yelled once again.
“I just want him near me…” He sobbed.
“Come on hyung, let’s go…” Yunho didn’t protest for he didn’t have anymore energy. He just wanted to sleep. Maybe in his dream he could see Jaejoong once again…
I step off the train
I'm walkin' down your street again
Past your door
I guess you don't live there anymore
It's years since you've been there
And now you've disappeared somewhere
Like outer space
You've found some better place
A week later……
Yunho was once again in front of his old apartment, but this time he was sober. It was a cold day but he didn’t care, he felt nothing anyway. He just wanted to be in a familiar place, a place where he could at least feel Jaejoong’s presence.
“Jae, I’ll find you…I’ll find you…”
“Hyung? What’re you doing here again?”
“Leave me alone.”
“No, you’re destroying your life.” Junsu raised his voice to see if he could get through his hyung’s stubborn mind.
“Be a man and confront your fears, take your responsibility for your decision”. Junsu scream at Yunho as he grabbed his hyung’s shoulders and shook it. “What do you get from crying huh!? Are your tears going to bring him back?? Do you think being a drunken mess everyday is going to change the past?! Answer me damnit!”
“I told you to leave me alone, it’s my life” Yunho sighed, taking a bottle of whiskey from one of his jacket’s pocket.
Junsu took the bottle away from him. “You’re going to die if you keep doing this…”
“Don’t you understand that I don’t care, Junsu? I just need to see him…” He threw himself onto the floor, sobbing.
Junsu wanted to so badly cry along side him, his cousin was disappearing in front of him…and all he could do was to caress the elder’s hair.
“Maybe I should tell him where Jaejoong is…” He silently thought to himself.
The End.