The myth of laziness

[angerona]

Я не так давно здесь написала цитату из пролога книги «The Myth of Laziness», и меня тогда просили потом рассказать, хороша ли сама книга. Всю я ее еще не дочитала, но спешу сообщить, что пока она мне очень и очень нравится

Comments

[kokosha77]

о, что касается детей... Я последнее время ужасаюсь от того что я много и часто ору на Димона (он разболтан и разбалансирован) мне сложно вернуть его вменяемость и в адекватные рельсы ...причины... я знаю! как бороться... практически бесполезно, то есть можно, но так я не готова и не хочу! Короче, мы , точнее, Димка, пошел на йогу, ему нравится ужасно, тем более природная растяжка ему позволяет многое делать, но не в том суть, я обсуждала с тренером ситуацию нашей всеобщей разбалансированности, она дала мне книгу, там про всецелое принятие всех и вся и про всеобщую любовь. Я: это , конечно все классно, но мы задавлены социализацией: для поступления в школу надо читать мин. 20 слов в минуту и т.п. , а это все рутины и обязанности, как нажимать и требовать так, что бы это соизмерялось со всецелой любовью????

[angerona]

говорят, что спокойствием большего добьешься, но как добиться спокойствия?

[kokosha77]

во-во!

[pale_fire]

I don't have the time to read your entry (too lazy, yeah:)) but one of the best things that my psy teacher taught me a while ago is that there's no such thing as laziness. Full stop. It can be lack of motivation, fear, lack of support, apathy, etc. but laziness is just the outwards behaviour, there's a reason behind it. Since then I've stopped calling myself lazy and am not very keen on parents using the word. Apart from the non-existence of laziness, the name calling will have the opposite effect that you are probably trying to get from the child/partner etc. So, it's one of those complete lose-lose scenarios, dig deeper and try to see with empathy the lazy beast in front of you and there's some hope yet. That includes looking at the lazy self as well, I think you (and me) can be very harsh and critical on ourselves, so start there if you can. You are not lazy and have never been. How is that?:0)

[bublik64]

I've been thinking about this topic lately in relation to my students (I have absolutely no problem applying the word to myself). What would you say is the definition of laziness, and why is labeling someone lazy inherently bad? (The second question may be obvious depending on the answer to the first)

[angerona]

Let me answer the second part of the question first: why it's bad to label someone as lazy. That one seems far more obvious to me: if someone's lack of completing homework stems not from the fact that they didn't even bother to try, but from the fact that they tried, but couldn't -- wouldn't you say that those two are very different situations? Labeling someone as "lazy" when he in fact worked hard can do no good whatsoever. He's not going to be able to do any better because of it in the future, and it will just ruin his self esteem, if he has any, thus leading to worse results.

Now as to the definition of laziness, that's harder, because "working hard" is very subjective. Say for someone it's very easy to focus their mental energy on a particular subject; they may then see someone else, for whom it's an arduous task, as "lazy" if they can't maintain this focus for some time.

Who's right? How do you objectively measure this ability to work hard? Does it even matter, or it's only the results that matter?

[bublik64]

While sometimes lack of results is not evidence of lack of trying, it very often is. Sometimes you just didn't feel like doing something because you had better things to do with your time, even if it was just lying around watching TV. Would you call that lazy, assuming you're not dead-tired and need a break? I would. And sometimes you make that choice: you don't do the laundry right now, and instead read some LJ, for example, or watch TV instead of doing HW.

Lazy and not capable (or not capable in the given timeframe) are very different things indeed. But often enough it's just sloth. If it's calculated, and you're fine with the consequences, OK.

[angerona]

I think that "often enough" is mistaken, especially as it applies to work/school performance. Or at least performance right at school or work, when choices like "watch tv" or "read a book" aren't even available to us and to kids at school.

But by apriori assuming that the lack of production is due to laziness, we are consigning the people who struggle with something to remain where they are.

And the choice is also a misnomer. Sometimes you are so tired that you can't get up and do laundry and it's not really a fair choice.