[Fanfiction] [Cardcaptor Sakura] The Eriol and Tomoyo Collection (Part 2)
Title: Rain Kiss
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Drama
Status: Complete
Published: 06-13-03
Rain Kiss
Tomoyo Daidouji sat alone at the edge of the playground, wearing nothing but a blue cotton t shirt and jean shorts; it served no protection against the falling rain. Dark skies of gray and black brought down icy sheets, cleansing and blessing the dry earth but gave no mercy to her tiny figure.
She hugged her knees closer to her chest, dark tresses of her hair clinging to her pale neck and arms. Bleary, dull violet blue eyes stared up to the sky unsure of what to do. Her delicate fingers were almost numb with cold and her teeth were chattering. She was buffeted by the howling gale and the pouring torrents but she paid no attention. She didn’t want to suffer anymore.
"Tomoyo!"
Tomoyo slowly looked up to hear the familiar voice. She strained her ears wearily to hear the echo once again, violet blue eyes squinting through the rain. I must be crazy, she thought as she nestled her head back to her knees, not caring if she will get sick when she continued this on. Besides he doesn't care.
"Tomoyo!"
She looked up to see a panting, slightly wet Eriol Hiiragisawa holding a lavender windreaker in one arm and an umbrella on the other, shielding him from the rain.
"E-Eriol-kun!" Tomoyo stuttered. She stared as he knelt down before her, bringing her under the safety of the umbrella. She watched as he quickly placed the windbreaker around her shoulders which she recognized as her own.
"Are you all right Tomoyo?" Eriol asked, looking at her expectantly. She noted that he did not look angry, just worried. He didn't even use the honorific when he talked to her.
"I-I am alright. I think," she answered. She found her voice was cracked and shivering.
"What did you think when you ran off like that? We were worried sick!" he said, slight anger traceable in his deep voice. She stared in his deep, sapphire-like blue eyes, there was hurt and anger in there; she knew he was fighting his emotions.
Tomoyo was shocked to see that he located her at her favorite swing in Penguin Park although the possibilities were endless. A girl of sixteen would not hang out in playgrounds to cool off.
She got over her shock and ran her gaze over his whole face. His pale cheeks were flushed and his usually sleek and smooth black hair was glistening with rain drops. His cotton white polo was drenched, dark pants crumpled and his sneakers were splattered with mud.
"Your mother is very worried! You've been gone for hours! And look at yourself! Staying outside in the rain! You'll get sick, you know that?" Eriol carried on as she sat calmly under his furious stare. He stopped lecturing and stared at her for a second.
"And why do you care?"
Eriol felt furious, like he wanted to kick something. He had gone all through his trouble to find her and she acted all I-don't-care-what-you-say around him. Had she gone mad?
"You shouldn't have gone through with your idiotic plan to find me. I'll be well on my way." Tomoyo snapped.
"Don't act all prima donna to me Tomoyo! I looked for you because I love you!" he berated. Then he stopped as he realized what he said. Tomoyo stared at him, her dull eyes suddenly clearing. He looked for her because he loved her!
A part of her wanted to believe him but another wanted to slap his face. She vowed never to forgive him for his cheating on her and it made her really angry. (Nobody ever had the chance to make Tomoyo angry.) He just broke her heart when she offered it to him, for him to take care of and love.
"Oh then why did I find you cheating on me? You spending, " she smirked "quality time with that Miss Murasaki? What have you to say now? Eh, Hiiragisawa?"
Eriol stared at her dumbfounded as her words sank in. What was Tomoyo trying to say? The harder he thought, the harder it became. He can't make sense of her words.
"You Hiiragisawa are a dirty, cheating bastard. Don't you dare sweet talk your way to me," Tomoyo continued on, coldly. "When did Hiiragisawa Eriol really care for a person? Oh, let me see… when he wants something from her!"
Eriol realized what she was talking about.
She was referring to what happened that afternoon when she walked in on his conversation with a friend from England; the poor girl was slapped by Tomoyo's own hands in misunderstanding. He was just kissing her forehead as a sign of goodbye. It was a surprise to see Tomoyo slapping anyone. In all of his days as her boyfriend never did he imagine Tomoyo, the sweet and angelic girl, could get jealous at such a simple gesture! Never even see her lose control or that comforting smile or even swear! It was too unbearable to imagine that it was just because of a weird mix of jealousy and misunderstanding.
"Y-You've got to understand Tomoyo! It's not what you think." Eriol croaked.
"Oh yes it is!" Tomoyo said, her voice rising and her pale, ivory- like cheeks were suddenly tinted by patches of red.
"Please hear me out. It really hurts me to see you like this! Murasaki-chan's just my friend." Eriol said softly, looking imploringly to her violet eyes but she looked away. "Tomoyo… you don't know how much it hurts me to see you angry."
"Yes I know. You know what Hiiragisawa? I HATE YOU!" Tomoyo whispered, her eyes narrowing dangerously. Her mind clouded over, blinded by rage and hatred agreed with her statement but her heart shattered into a thousand pieces.
Eriol felt his body grow weak. She can't mean that. Can she?
There were times when men who seem so strong and invulnerable put down their guard for their loved ones that was their weakness. They will feel the weight of the world and would do anything just to spare their loved ones from harm in any way possible.
"Let me explain, Tomoyo. Please let me explain!" Eriol pleaded, edging closer, kneeling into the mud where she was sitting at. His hands were shaking as he held the umbrella overhead. "Tomoyo, please… I swore to be your knight in shining armor and I will never break my romise!"
Tomoyo bit her lip. She regretted that she said that, to him especially. She did not understand why she was suddenly weak, drained of energy; did not understand why her heart was beating painfully in her chest though she said she hated him, her heart, her fragile heart did not.
"I love you and you've always known that! I won't run into the rain, tired and worried if I didn’t care. I wouldn't betray your trust! I won't ever, ever break your heart!" Eriol said, hot tears stinging his eyes and choking his throat which suddenly tightened painfully. He grabbed her hands and clasping it with his, feeling hers through the cold.
I lied to myself. I lied to him. I lied to my heart.
"Don't!" Tomoyo yelped, sharply retreating from his touch. She withdrew her hand quickly and turned away, letting the rain fall upon her face, hiding the tears.
The lies I uttered were so convincing, I almost believed it.
Violet blue eyes blinked rapidly, trying to will away the flowing tears. She will not cry, not now, not ever, not in front of him. Pain seared and she clutched her chest protectively, letting her damp hair cascade like a waterfall of darkness.
I didn't really want I did it to hide the pain. It's not his fault, its mine.
"Tomoyo! Listen to me." Eriol begged softly. He loved her so much that he was willing to die for her, right then and there. He knelt still, umbrella protecting him from the icy rain but not with her.
I hurt because I did not trust. No matter how much I think about it. No, I try to think that I hate him but I can't.
She curled up to herself, shaking. She could feel the rain now, beating down on her mercilessly, unlike before when she couldn't feel it. Numbness was an addictive feeling, she thought sarcastically.
Tomoyo cracked her eyes open to see that night had come to cover the place with her dark cloak; no moon, no stars, no comfort from her loneliness and pain. Her head rested on her limp arms that was hugging her legs and leaning over to the low, gray brick wall like a lifeless doll.
She sat up languidly, her sight hazy and unfocused. She breathed shallow breaths to ease herself. She felt hot then cold, her sight clouding as she looked up into the heavens, not clear and cloudless, but dark and dismal. Her unfocused gaze fell on Eriol who was crying, rushing over to where she was...
I love him.
She did not know she was resting in his warm embrace. She did not know that he was protecting her from the rain. She did not know why she broke down completely, crying her heart out to release the pain pent up inside, to ease the pain inside.
It felt like there was something inside of her that was finally extracted, released. Her mask had been shattered upon realization. All her lies to herself be forgiven, cleansed. Her soul, once again pure and it gives off love effusively.
She would not misunderstand him. He who was her love will always be her love forever. At last, Tomoyo understood. He wasn't really cheating after all.
The reasons slid in and out of focus, the mere effort of focusing on one coherent thought was hard at her situation. Her body suddenly felt so cold, like she had drowned in a frosty river or had been buried under snow.
She shuddered. But she feels his warm lips pressing upon her softly, hesitantly. She opened her eyes to look into the bright, magnetic sapphire blue that was gazing at her hesitantly like she was glass or a treasure that will suddenly shatter into pieces.
She smiled and started to kiss back although weakly, with all her being pouring forth to warm them both. They had discarded the umbrella and it rolled away far from Eriol's swift grasp. And they were sitting there, under the falling rain together, with Eriol protecting her. He wouldn't let her go and will love her forever, purely and devotedly, never betraying her trust. The kiss was more of love than passion, and it brought each closer to the other in an invisible bond as strong as chains.
That's right. I love him so much.
That's something I cannot lie about to my heart.
And in this falling rain, will I swear to be his, forever.
Nothing can separate us I will fight to be his no matter how hard.
I love him.
oOoOoOo
Title: Sa Kanya
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Drama
Status: Complete
Comments/Warnings: It's written in my native tongue, Tagalog. So it might not make sense to the international audience.
Written: 07-02-03/ Edited: 10-24-08
Published: 08-27-06
Alam naman niyang uulan pero hindi siya umalis sa kanyang kinalalagyan. Humigpit lamang ang hawak niya sa kadena ng swing. Wala na ang mga tao sa playground. Siya na lamang ang natitira. Napangiti siya. Mas mabuti na iyon. Ayaw niyang may makakakita o makakaabala sa kanya.
Naririnig naman niya ang mga kulog. Mukhang mabigat na ang mga ulap. Ilang minuto na lang at uulan na. Mababasa na siya sa luha ng langit. Tinulak niya ang sarili at nilasap ang pakiramdam ng kanyang pagsi-swing. She closed her eyes and savored the sensation. Minsan ay inihalintulad niya ito sa pagibig. She was swinging in between two opposite extremes of happiness and sadness.
Nakalugay ang mahaba niyang buhok at sigurado siyang sa kanyang puting damit ay mukha siyang multo. A giggle escaped her lips. Pero alam naman niyang napakaganda niyang multo. Pumatak ang ilang droplets sa kanyang mukha. Nagsisimula na ang isang malakas at nakakalinis na ulan.
Tama lang yun, she thought, kailangan kong ialis lahat.
"Tomoyo!"
Lumingon siya at nakita ang isang familiar na lalaki. Nakatayo ito ilang metro sa kanyang kinatatayuan sa likuran niya. Napangiti siya. But that was a bittersweet smile.
"Oh, Eriol, ba't nandiyan ka?" wika niya. Pero alam niyang alam ni Eriol na dito siya pupunta dahil dito sila laging naguusap at naglalabas ng mga sama ng loob sa isa't isa.
"Ikaw dapat ang tanungin ko niyan." Mataman ang titig nito sa kanya. Ngayon lamang niyang napansin na may bitbit itong payong. Hello Kitty ang tatak. Kanya pala iyon.
"Wag mo na itanong," nakangiti pa rin niyang sabi. She waited for his reaction.
"Umuulan." Eriol was still staring seriously at her. "Mababasa ka. Halika rito, makisilong ka na."
"Akin yan ah," sabi niya.
"Oo nga. Magkakasakit ka, Tomoyong bruha, kapag hindi ka sumilong." Paalala nito sa kanya. Lalong lumuwang ang ngiti niya. Eriol's old nickname for her still survives.
She shook her head and turned away. Paborito niyang pakiramdam ang ulan sa kanyang mukha. Nakakagaan ng loob. Nakakapayapa. Nakakapaglinis. Hindi kumibo si Eriol sa likuran niya. Nandoon pa rin ito at pinanonood siya. He didn't seem to get tired from standing. She could see him in her mind with his handsome face schooled into a mask as well as the aching heart he was hiding beneath the mask.
Nagulat si Tomoyo. Ngayon lang niya napagtanto iyon. Hindi siya masyado aware sa kanyang childhood best friend ng ganoon. Marami siyang alam tungkol kay Eriol pero ang kalagayan ng puso nito tungkol sa kanya ang hindi niya talagang alam.
She bit her lip. Kaya lang naman siya hindi pinipilit ni Ryan na sumama sa ilalim ng payong ay dahil alam nitong gusto niya ang ulan. At ibang lalaki sana ang aalok noon para sa kanya. The rain pounded on. Malapit nang maggabi pero hindi pa rin sila umaalis doon. Alam naman ni Tomoyo na magkakasakit na siya pero wala siyang lakas upang umalis sa kinauupuan at sumama na kay Eriol pauwi.
"Tomoyo," mahinang sabi ni Eriol "tara na."
Marunong naman itong lalaking ito na respetuhin ang personal space ng best friend. They've been together for so long he didn't know what it felt to be alone. Pero alam niyang may mga pagkakataong hindi niya kayang manghimasok kay Tomoyo. Kaya hindi niya sinubukang kausapin ito o i-comfort man lang sa mahabang oras. He knew she wanted him to be there but not really there. Masakit para sa kanya, oo, pero mauuna ang respeto sa kanya.
He walked towards her. Naging tahimik siya sa mga nakaraang minuto at natatakot na siya doon. Tomoyo was never quiet. Nilalabas nito kung ano ang saloobin nito upang maibsan ang sakit. Hindi nito ugaling manahimik na lamang. Tumigil si Eriol sa paglalakad noong nakatayo na siya sa likuran mismo ni Tomoyo. Madilim na ang paligid. Gabi na pala. He stared at her with hurt tearing up his insides.
Nakatungo ito at ang kanyang mahabang buhok ay bahagyang itinatago ang kanyang mukha. Sa sobrang kahigpitan ng kapit niya sa kadena ay namumuti na ang kanyang mga kamay. At basang-basa na siya. "Tomoyo." Bulong ni Eriol at lumuhod siya sa isang tuhod upang tingnan ng mabuti ang mukha nito. "Please, look at me."
They had contrasting appearances but their hearts were one and the same. "Hindi na niya ako mahal." Sobrang hina ng bulong nito pero narinig ni Eriol. Lumungkot lalo ang anyo niya. "Nakita ko siya kanina na may kasamang ibang babae. Tapos nagkunwari siyang hindi niya ako kilala. Nasampal ko siya..."
Naalala ni Eriol ang pangyayari kaninang tanghali. Nagpunta sila sa mall ni Tomoyo kasi may kailangang bilhin ito at wala rin ang boyfriend dahil daw may appointment. Kagagaling lang niya sa pagbili ng ice cream nung masaksihan ang pangyayari. Tumakbo palayo si Tomoyo pero alam na niEriol kung saan direksyon ito pupunta. "Bakit ganoon? Minahal ko siya ng sobra-sobra, Eriol..."
She looked so beautiful and so sad with her wet hair framing her hair and raindrops on her eyelashes. Napakalalim ng kanyang mga mata at ramdam niyang patuloy siyang malulunod sa lungkot at ganda nito.
"Tomoyo..." Lumuwag ang kapit nito sa kadena at unti-unting kumalas. Naging isa na ang kanyang mga luha at ang ulan. Kaya pala gusto ni Tomoyo ang pakiramdam ng ulan sa kanyang mukha. Lumuhod din ito sa putikan at hindi napigilan ni Eriol ang sariling hindi lumapit sa kanya upang yakapin ito. She was so cold and so wet and so sad. Hindi niya alam kung kaninong kalungkutan ang bumabalot sa kanyang kalooban. Matagal na rin niyang hindi nayayakap si Tomoyo ng ganito; naamoy niya ang mabangong buhok at nararamdaman niya ang lambot ng katawan nito. Sobrang iba sa nakasanayan na niya noong bata pa sila ngunit mas gusto niya ito.
Yumakap na rin sa kanya si Tomoyo at umiyak. Hinagod ni Eriol ang likuran niya at hinayaan na lamang na nakalapat ang mukha nito sa kanyang dibdib at nakakapit sa kanyang damit. Basa na rin sila pareho dahil nabitawan na ni Eriol ang payong noong yinakap niya si Tomoyo. "Bakit ba kung magmamahal ako ay lagi akong nasasaktan? Hindi na ba ako nararapat? Bakit niya ako pinagtaksilan? Eriol, sobra na eh... Ang sakit..." hikbi ng kanyang paboritong kaibigan "nagmahal naman ako ng tapat at totoo. Hindi ako dapat masaktan..."
"Shhh... Tomoyo..." Hinagod na lamang nito ang buhok at likod. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin. Mas mabuti sigurong manahimik. "You'll be fine..."
"Hindi ko na kaya 'to... Paano na ako papasok sa school bukas? Maraming nakakakita sa ginawa ko... sa ginawa niya... Nakakahiya kasi matagal niya nang ginagawa ito sa akin and worse, nagbulag-bulagan ako. Naniwala akong mapapabago ko siya. Ang tanga-tanga ko pala, ano?
"Bakit kaya hindi mo sinubukang sabihin sa akin? Ka-barkada mo siya, Eriol, pero best friend mo ako... Bakit hindi mo ako ipinaglaban?" Her words broke his heart. "Kung pwede nga lang sana eh, ginawa ko na. Pero naawa ako sa'yo kasi mahal mo siya. At alam kong hindi ka maniniwala hangga't hindi pa nangyayari sa iyo." Napapikit na lamang ang binata. Regret tightened it's hold on his heart. "You will go to school tomorrow. Tapos na iyon. Wala na kayo kaya huwag mo na siyang isipin.
"You loved because it was inevitable for you. Alam ko naman na matagal mo nang crush iyong si Kaede eh. Minahal mo siya kahit hindi buong-buo iyon. Sorry na at hindi ko sinabi sa iyo na playboy iyon. I knew you won't last long and you would get hurt too. Ano pa ba naman ang magagawa ko kung hindi abangan ang katapusan at sambutin ka?" Humigpit ang yakap ni Tomoyo sa kanya. Ngumiti siya kahit alam niyang umiiyak na rin siya. "Best friends na tayo ng sobrang tagal, Tomoyo." He kissed her hair, all the while wondering why he reveled in their bittersweet embrace. "Kilalang-kilala na kita. Makakabangon ka at magmamahal ng iba... You'll be fine on school tomorrow. Hindi ka rin tanga kasi pinili mo akong best friend. That was the wisest decision."
She broke away from their embrace. He let her go reluctantly. Napahagikgik si Tomoyo kahit umiiyak siya kanina. "Ang yabang mo talaga."
Natawa na rin si Eriol. "Eh, sa totoo naman. And yung sakit mo para sa kanya, bukas wala na."
"Parang ganun kadali." Nagtaas pa ng kilay si Tomoyo. She looked so adorable to Eriol's eyes. "I mean, we were together for at least seven months. Hindi ba siya nararapat iyakan?"
"Hindi pa naman patay yung gagong yun. Wag na. At drama mo lang yun."
"OA ka naman. Hindi ako drama queen, ha." she said in mock-rage. He wanted so much to laugh and hug her.
"Anong tawag mo sa kanina?" ngiti ni Eriol.
"Drama." At sabay silang tumawa. Kanina lamang ay gusto niyang umiyak pero ngayong kasama niya si Eriol ay napakadali na ang pagtawa. They laughed until their stomachs hurt. It was so much fun to laugh under the rain. So much better than crying. Pagkapatapos ay naalala ni Tomoyo na napakaliit lamang ng distansiya ng kanilang katawan. Tumingala siya at napatitig kay Eriol. Mas matangkad nga pala ito ng ilang inches at gwapo naman pala sa malapitan. At ngayon rin lang niya napansin na he looked so handsome in that moment.
The rain had tousled his hair in a sexy manner and his eyes were laughing. At nakakaakit pala ng tingin ang mga labi nito. They looked so soft and inviting. Parang ang sarap halikan. At hindi rin niya malimutan ang pakiramdam ng yakap nito. She'd felt so safe and secure.
"Tomoyo?" Pinukaw ni Eriol ang kanyang iniisip. She immediately dismissed her thoughts. Ito ri Eriol. Kababata niya at best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Pero gwapo talaga siya. Namula ulit si Tomoyo.
"Best friend and little sister pa rin kita kahit anong mangyari." Gusto tuloy ni Eriol sapukin ang sarili. Paano niya matatawag na little sister ito eh halata namang dalagang-dalaga na ito! Incest ang mangyayari sa kanila at hindi niya maialis sa isip niya iyon.
"Eriol?" bulong ni Tomoyo. Nagulat si Eriol. Pumungay ang mga mata nito at tila nangaakit.
"Ano?" sagot niya. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso niya.
"Mahal pala kita." sabi nito.
Tumawa siya na parang nagaalangan. "Mahal din kita, Tomoyong bruha." There, another barrier. Mas nagulat siya nang bigla nitong yinakap siya at hinalikan. Mabilis. Isa lang. Namumula ang mga pisngi nilang dalawa.
"Para saan yun?" tanong ni Eriol. Pakiramdam niya ay nakuha na niya ang gatepass sa langit.
"Wala lang. Gusto ko lang sabihin." sabi ni Tomoyo. Nakangiti ito. Tumayo siya at tiningnan ang damit. Putikan na pala ang skirt ng kanyang white dress. She sighed and helped him get up. Saka niya pinanood ito pulutin ang payong.
"Eriol," sabi niya at nagkatinginan sila "buhatin mo na lang ako pauwi."
He smiled. Matagal na niyang hindi nagagawa iyon para kay Tomoyo. Iyon na ang matagal na nilang nakasanayan magkaibigan. Ever since she started going with boys ay nabawasan na ang kanilang time para sa isa't isa. Lagi siyang naka standby mode para kay Tomoyo. Pero hindi nabawasan ang kagustuhan niyang alagaan at mahalin ito.
"Sakay na." At sumampa nga si Tomoyo sa likuran niya at walang problemang tumayo si Eriol habang pinulupot ng babae ang kanyang mga braso sa leeg nito. Nasa ilalim na rin sila pareho ng Hello Kitty na payong.
Nagsimula na si Eriol maglakad pauwi at buhat si Tomoyo. Nakangiti rin naman siya. Kahit matagal na panahon ang dadaan, alam naman niyang mamahalin rin siya ni Tomoyo. Sa halik nila kanina, alam niyang nangangako itong sa kanya na pupunta pagkatapos maka-recover sa break-up nila ni Kaede.
She was asleep on his back. Tumitila na rin ang ulan. At alam ni Eriol na bukas ay magiging magkasama na ulit sila ni Tomoyong mahal na mahal niya.
oOoOoOo
Title: Somebody Told Me
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Angst
Status: Complete
Comments/Warnings: It's rather vague at the end. But it's very emotional. :p
Somebody told me
She sat up with her eyes focused on the open window. It was a beautiful day with a bright blue sky and warm sunshine. But she didn’t care much for it. By being quiet in her bed, she found comfort that she couldn’t get anywhere else.
“Tomoyo-chan!” A cheerful voice greeted. Her head turned to the source of the voice. Sakura Kinomoto, her best friend, stood on her doorway with a smile. She was dressed in a blue sundress. “What are you still doing in bed? Come on, Tomoyo-chan, we have to go!”
Tomoyo Daidouji didn’t say anything as Sakura took her hand and dragged her out of bed. If anyone but her best friend did that, she would’ve gotten mad. Her violet blue eyes were curious. “What’s wrong?”
“Get dressed, please! We have to go.” The Card Mistress said impatiently. She opened the heiress’s closet and tossed out a simple cream-colored sheath dress. While she browsed her friend’s accessories, her best friend got out of her pajamas and into her dress. “Here.”
Tomoyo clipped on pearl earrings and pulled on the matching cream-colored blazer. Her best friend ran a hairbrush through her dark waves before pulling it back on a ponytail. She was still clueless on why she let her best friend take care of her when it was her duty to look after her.
Sakura waited while she brushed her teeth and washed her face. The Card Mistress was agitated, she could tell. After swiping on red lipstick, Tomoyo was dragged out of the house and into the bright sunlit street.
“Where are we going?” Tomoyo asked as she half-stumbled behind her best friend. She felt slightly overdressed in her sheath dress and ballet shoes. But because Sakura dressed her, she bit back her comments.
“You’ll see.” The usually cheerful and happy girl answered quietly. “Did you know he’s leaving?”
The dark-haired girl stared, completely stunned. He was leaving her again… “No, I wasn’t aware.”
“We’re going to catch him.” Sakura said matter-of-factly.
They continued walking. Tomoyo’s mind whirled as she imagined her former lover. He was leaving again for someone else. It was shocking on how quickly he changed his mind to hurt her completely. Her fists clenched and she bit her bottom lip. She still had her pride.
“Sakura-chan, we’re not going.” The dark-haired heiress said firmly. They slowed down. The Card Mistress turned to her best friend, confused. She was very worried and concerned about her best friend ever since her last relationship failed. If it meant repairing broken bridges to help Tomoyo move on, she was willing to help her through it.
“Please, it’s for closure.” Sakura explained. “You have to move on by talking to him at least!”
“Let’s stop. I don’t think we’ll find him there.” Tomoyo said quietly. Her head was bowed and her eyes were filled with tears. She didn’t want to see him again after he broke her heart.
“But you can’t let him walk away without a fight. If it was me, you’d say that! Why not follow your advice?” the Card Mistress looked distressed “You still love him, don’t you?”
“It’s my choice, Sakura-chan. I don’t want to see him.” Tomoyo cried out and she turned to run towards the other direction. Her long dark hair flew behind her like a shadow.
“Tomoyo-chan,” the brown-haired girl murmured. She felt angry and sad at the same time. But as she watched her best friend go, she decided to let her be. It was a lesson that must be learned.
oOoOoOo
Tomoyo wiped her eyes. She had ended up in one of the swings in Penguin Park. Even if it reminded her of the days when she had Eriol, she didn’t care. Swinging and crying managed to soothe her broken heart.
It was painful to remember sweet little nothings like his smiles and words. Their relationship was nothing but bliss. She floated happily like a bubble until she was cruelly burst. It was from one of her guy classmates that she learned about Eriol’s secret plan to return to Kaho Mizuki’s arms in England.
The heiress avoided her boyfriend and kept to herself. It didn’t matter if Eriol was laughing at her or leaving. She wanted to cut all of her connections with him in order to lick her wounds in peace.
It was all made of lies. She broke up with him through the phone and refused all of his apologies. Though she was heartbroken, she still had her pride. When they met each other in school, she walked without sparing him a glance. She didn’t care if the whole school gossiped about them. She was more concerned with her emotional health.
Tomoyo realized that it was very late. She got up. Though she was sixteen already, she still had a curfew. She didn’t want her bodyguards to get worried.
When she got to the bridge, she stopped to look at her reflection. Then she fixed her clothes and pocketed her drenched handkerchief and hurting heart. The dark-haired girl looked around when she realized that the park was curiously deserted.
Though she didn’t possess any magic, tiny prickles climbed up her spine.
“What’s happening to me?” she mused as she looked at her reflection. A beautiful girl with long dark hair, gentle blue eyes and a sweet smile looked back at her. There was no trace of hurt or anger in her.
A sigh escaped her lips. The smile vanished. Pain crossed her features.
Is this me that everyone knows?
She let out a soft bitter laugh. She was starting to get used to the pain that Eriol drilled into her heart. It was always like that for her. One hurt would always be followed by another.
Am I strong like everyone thinks?
A cool smile crept up her lips. She presented an impeccable mask to the world. It was something that she had created when she was a little girl. She had to be strong for her mother and then to Sakura.
Is this the warmth that everyone feels around me?
Sometimes she thought that her mother didn’t really love her. She existed as a doll to be like Nadeshiko with no soul and heart. Her mother always talked about Nadeshiko. Growing up she heard nothing but comparison to the older woman. So Tomoyo decided to be a warm, caring person to everyone. It would satisfy her mother and protect her.
Am I really loved?
Tears sprang into her eyes. The thought had occurred to her. Every time, she lied to herself by saying that she was cared for. The people in her world cared about her. But she didn’t really know.
Am I really here?
Tomoyo wondered if she existed at all. All she had was a shell. No one really knew the real Tomoyo. She lay inside, curled up and undiscovered. Nobody knew who she really was. Not her best friend, her mother or her other friends…
Only Eriol knew.
That was how she fell in love with him. She could be herself around him. She didn’t feel pressured to keep up the charade. He understood because he was the same. They felt comfortable and comforted around each other.
“How many tears spill from your eyes is also the same number of smiles from your lips?” A voice spoke up. “Don’t you agree?”
She turned around to see him silhouetted against the rising silver moon. His dark hair gleamed with a bluish sheen but his eyes glittered with a different gleam. Her breath caught in her throat.
“It’s you,” she whispered.
“Good evening,” Eriol Hiiragizawa said, smiling. He walked up to her and stared down at her amethyst-colored eyes. “Why are you alone?”
“What do you want from me?” she hissed. Coldness seeped into her voice.
“Nothing, dearest Tomoyo-san… Somebody told me that you were crying.” He replied coolly. She flinched and stepped back.
“Somebody told me you were leaving,” Tomoyo retorted. “I was glad until now. The report was wrong”
“Oh,” said the mage, a bit taken aback. “Your words wound me.”
Tomoyo looked away to break his spell. His beautiful blue eyes captivated her and wove his enchantment around her. She loved gazing up at his blue eyes until she realized that he couldn’t meet her stare.
“Where were you, Tomoyo-san?” Eriol murmured, letting his hand glide up from her wrist to her arm smoothly. It was a trick that usually won her over. But it didn’t work.
She blushed but she pulled her arm away. “I’m sorry but I don’t want to talk to you. Please excuse me.”
Eriol held her hand fast and stared at her fiercely. His smile told her how much he missed her. “You were betrayed, lied to. I’m not going back to her.”
“I was told that you were lying and it was true,” Tomoyo spat “I can’t trust you.”
“Your source was wrong. I’m not leaving the country. I’m not about to leave you lost and crying without an explanation.” He looked frustrated. His mask was removed; she was looking at him with new eyes.
She believed him, in spite of herself.
“But we’re over now,” Tomoyo said curtly. It took all of her to turn back and walk away. Tears made glistening trails in her face. She felt her heart break as she murmured goodbye.
“Why?” he called out to her. “Why deny it? I love you.”
“Because I don’t love you anymore,” she replied coolly “I can’t love you when I can’t trust you. Goodye, Eriol-kun.”
She ran away but she was calmed. It was her truth that she must believe. It was her heart that must be healed.
oOoOoOo
Title: Tape Recorder
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Drama
Status: Complete
Published: 02-24-09
Cleaning the old attic in the middle of the night was not exactly a brilliant idea.
Moonlight washed in from the dusty bay windows. A full moon peeked at him. His dark hair gleamed with mingled silver and bluish sheen. Pale skin seemed to glow under the milky light. The years were kind to him- he was still as handsome as ever.
He was older now. So much older than the day he had gone up here with her.
Eriol Hiiragizawa carried a huge box out of the way. The room was deserted and messy. Sealed boxes, old furniture, broken mirrors, heavy trunks and closed cabinets seemed to stare at him. The room smelled of dust and age. It was filled with things that he’d collected over the years while living in this old house.
This was the house of his previous incarnation. It was his house now. But before that, it was their house.
He sat down on a ratty red high-backed armchair and sighed. Too many memories still lingered in this old house. But he wouldn’t erase them, not for anything, not for nothing.
Blue eyes landed on a small and old-fashioned wooden trunk in the darkest corner. His heartbeats accelerated. The old man smiled; he should be dying now if it gets any faster. He heaved himself out of the chair to go towards the mysterious object.
Thirty years ago since she had placed it there.
He almost smiled to himself. How clever of her to hide it up in the attic. She must have known how it would hurt him, tear him apart. His bones creaked; his knees weren’t as strong as before. Wherever she was, she might have been laughing at the sight that he made while he walked up the rickety old stairs.
Written on that letter given to him after she was gone-
“Look for me, my love. I’m still here though you read this while I’ve gone.”
Eriol in his grief burst out laughing. He had lifted his head up towards the blue summer sky and bellowed, “Are we still playing hide and seek, love?”
He grasped the handle and pulled. Layers and layers of fine dust covered the finely carved lid. A faded saffron ribbon was tied with the antiquated padlock. He conjured what was left of his magic and unlocked the trunk.
Footsteps up the stairs. He paused and turned to see the eternally young Ruby Moon in Nakuru’s old body. (His guardians can die too. They have limits. He was not God. His powers were not enough. Without a magic Book or a purpose, they would perish without him. So they will die.) She carried Spinel Sun in her arms. The brightest of smiles lay in her face.
“Are we interrupting?” she asked gently. The red-haired woman let go. Spinel Sun, released at last, flew to him. “Can we watch?”
“Of course you may,” Eriol replied, smiling. “You love her too.”
They pulled the trunk towards the ratty red armchair with sighs and groans. It was heavy and old; it smelled like incense and smoke. Nakuru smiled at the fanciful carvings and the beautiful woodwork. It was her master’s mistress through and through.
Eriol yanked at the lock. It came away. With held breath, he lifted the lid. Peered inside the trunk and smiled. “I’ve found you, my love.”
His trembling fingertips caressed its contents lovingly. Spinel Sun nestled on his shoulder purred. The faintest smell- her scent, lavender sachets, mothballs it was- permeated the room.
He saw a collection of envelopes, a picture frame, and a lock of hair in a vial, a scrapbook, a doll and tape recorder. With a smile he untied the faded purple ribbon to see the dates on the envelopes. Early days, it was. Going backwards in time when they were young, beautiful and in love.
The scrapbook contained pictures of her first love. Her beloved, she used to tease. The brown-haired girl was young, carefree and sparkling with life in those photos. They were different facets of her. It was all caught, stilled, captured. He couldn’t help but laugh when he thought that the girl in question was still the same timeless beauty.
He shifted through it just to glimpse its contents. (There was plenty of time to read and see.) Fourth grade, fifth grade, and sixth grade- he knew them all. Nakuru laughed when a picture fell out.
Eriol picked it up and smiled. It was him. Behind it read daintily written words: “A mystery.”
Then he saw pictures of the last elementary school play production. Princess and prince getting together after all those years. After that was them.
The lock of hair was perfectly preserved. It was dark-colored like twilight or dusk, tightly coiled like springs, commas for eternity. He knew that if he opened it, he would be bewitched again. The smell of her would fill his nostrils, ensnaring him.
Her doll when she was young. It was a precious possession. He wondered where it had gone when she said that she was leaving her childhood. She had stopped being a child when they met. That was when they finally grew up. (But she also always said that when the time comes, it would go to their child. So that their offspring would know how it was to be protected by a gentler and stronger magic like her love.)
The picture frame contained a magnificent photograph. It was their wedding picture. They were smiling, laughing then. She was a radiant beauty with her hair piled up, wrapped in lace and silk and velvet, ribbons swaying in the breeze. Her lips were so wide, so pretty. His arms were around her; he was wearing a dark suit. They were so happy, so young. He’d never forgotten the beautiful moment.
“She kept a lot, didn’t she?” Nakuru said quietly.
“Her memories are still here,” Spine added. “She’s as much a part of you as we are.”
Eriol nodded. He picked up the tape recorder and opened it. There was a small tape- labeled neatly, waiting. Wondering what was inside the obsolete tape recorder, he pressed play.
He who never cried after she died got sobs caught in his throat. For the first time in thirty years since his beloved wife died, he heard her voice.
The same crystal clear and haunting beauty of Tomoyo Hiiragizawa nee Daidouji’s melodic singing filled the still evening air.
Tears ran down his cheeks. Nakuru squeezed his hand, choking back sobs. Spinel Sun rubbed into his cheek soothingly.
It was so beautiful. Her love washed over him. It was truly her doing. Without even realizing it, he had learned to let her go.
oOoOoOo
Title: Truly, Madly, Deeply
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance
Status: Complete
Published: 09-11-05
I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be you fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be you love
Be everything that you need
Eriol Hiiragizawa glanced at the beautiful angel standing beside him. Her long dark gray hair was tied up in two high ponytails, blue ribbons gracing her silken hair. Her hair was so soft and silky that it just flows along gracefully whenever the wind plays with it. She looked so surreal, silhouetted against the bright full moon that sent its pearly light to shine faintly on her pale skin.
He wanted to hug her and tell her his true feelings. His feelings had pent up inside of him, unable to be expressed.
The night was picturesque with its velvet blue sky with millions of stars shining on it with the bright moon that slowly rose to its zenith. It was romantic.
"The city is so big." she said with her sweet voice.
He nodded in agreement as he gazed at the huge city of Tomoeda. They were on top of a mountain park where they were surrounded by patches of big trees with the blossoms of cherry and peach.
They were alone; it was almost like a date. But they were not; he just met her in his walks around the park like any other night from the last few months. Then they decided to look at the city.
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
Cause I'm counting on
She stole a glance at her companion. He was quite handsome, even if he was dressed in plain clothes. His bluish-black hair was almost the color of the night sky and in his intense blue eyes she felt she could lose herself.
She smiled slightly; he had been thinking. That was obvious and perhaps he may have something different in his mind.
She wondered about her feelings. She was quite confused to speak truthfully.
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning yeah!
She pondered on it. She was deeply in love with somebody, a love that rooted strongly to her heart ever since she vowed to stay beside her love.
It was a forbidden and unattainable love.
It was impossible. But yet she dreamed and fantasized the sweet imaginings that came with it.
Eriol frowned thoughtfully. Love was his greatest challenge. He must make reality from his fantasies. He wanted to forget the past he had with Kaho Mizuki and make a fresh start.
There were times when he hopelessly murmured her name just to hear it, truly intoxicated in its melody. He will let go of the past. And forget about the hurts and the pain.
I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lie like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me
By some unknown force, the two glanced at each other at the same time. Bright sapphire met azure, so different yet so similar.
Then they both realized that they were both the same in physical and mental aspects. Both were a bit eccentric, incredibly perceptive, and amazingly manipulative of others. And seemed to be made for each other.
"Tomoyo…”Eriol breathed as he gazed at her with those beautiful brilliant sapphire eyes. She was so pretty and he was amazed that her physical beauty matched her wit and charm.
And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky
I'll make a wish
To send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
"Eriol…" Tomoyo said softly, her sweetly melodious voice almost like a breath of wind. She could see the mysterious twinkles dancing in his eyes.
She froze when she felt his hand almost hesitantly stroking her hair, the silken strands caught in his gentle fingers.
The smile playing in his lips was both calm and loving. He was serious about this sweet display of affection.
Tomoyo felt tears well up in her eyes.
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty
That was surrounded by the comfort and protection of the highest powers
In the lonely hours
The tears devour you
Eriol smiled down upon her and said softly in her ear, "Tomoyo."
He gently wiped away the jeweled tears glistening in her dark lashes. She looked so breathtaking and so sweetly innocent. He knew he loved her with all his heart.
"Tomoyo, I never understood my feelings for you. But now I understand. I-I." he said and he knelt down and took her hand and pressed her gentle fingers to his cheeks. He looked up to her eyes, eyes the color of the endless summer sky. They were so deep that he thought he could stare at them forever.
"I love you Tomoyo."
I want to stand with you in the mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lie like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me
Tomoyo's pale porcelain-like skin was suddenly tinted by rosy red. She looked down on him, shocked by his words.
The love she had been thinking about was for Eriol. He was perhaps the best and the most courageous man she had ever met; he was the only one who had dared ever to pledge his feelings for her.
Oh can you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
Course its standing right before you
All that you need will surely come
Tomoyo had dreamed of this moment for many nights. It was like being suspended in an eternal second, the golden moment of her life.
She was speechless for a second and she nodded, not trusting her voice.
I'll be your wish
I'll be your dream
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do.
Eriol waited for her reply, half-excited and half-anxious. He wanted to be everything for her, he'll treat her gently and never hurt her.
"I…” she started to say.
Eriol waited anxiously and stared at her eyes.
"Eriol… I love you too.” She said with a sweet smile.
It seemed to them that the world stopped. The time stopped. The ceaseless falling of the blossoms bore witness to this special moment. The wind blew, scattering the petals to far-off heights, stirring her dark-gray curls that framed her attractive face.
Eriol stood up, not trusting his knees to carry his weight. He looked down on her and carefully brushed a few strands from her face and smiled.
"Tomoyo…" he murmured and leaned closer. He cupped her chin and lifted it gently to get a better look at her face, now streaked with tears of joy.
Her tears glistened in the pale moonlight, slightly giving her face an ethereal glow. And her eyes shone with gentle passion and happiness. This was what she had been waiting for all her life.
I'll be your wish
I'll be your dream
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
That was what he promised. That he will always be there for her, that he will never hurt her.
They looked like two silhouettes in the dark, bathing in the pale moonlight. It was a sacred promise that they would love each other and make this love grow stronger.
I'll be your wish I'll be your dream
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Drama
Status: Complete
Published: 06-13-03
Rain Kiss
Tomoyo Daidouji sat alone at the edge of the playground, wearing nothing but a blue cotton t shirt and jean shorts; it served no protection against the falling rain. Dark skies of gray and black brought down icy sheets, cleansing and blessing the dry earth but gave no mercy to her tiny figure.
She hugged her knees closer to her chest, dark tresses of her hair clinging to her pale neck and arms. Bleary, dull violet blue eyes stared up to the sky unsure of what to do. Her delicate fingers were almost numb with cold and her teeth were chattering. She was buffeted by the howling gale and the pouring torrents but she paid no attention. She didn’t want to suffer anymore.
"Tomoyo!"
Tomoyo slowly looked up to hear the familiar voice. She strained her ears wearily to hear the echo once again, violet blue eyes squinting through the rain. I must be crazy, she thought as she nestled her head back to her knees, not caring if she will get sick when she continued this on. Besides he doesn't care.
"Tomoyo!"
She looked up to see a panting, slightly wet Eriol Hiiragisawa holding a lavender windreaker in one arm and an umbrella on the other, shielding him from the rain.
"E-Eriol-kun!" Tomoyo stuttered. She stared as he knelt down before her, bringing her under the safety of the umbrella. She watched as he quickly placed the windbreaker around her shoulders which she recognized as her own.
"Are you all right Tomoyo?" Eriol asked, looking at her expectantly. She noted that he did not look angry, just worried. He didn't even use the honorific when he talked to her.
"I-I am alright. I think," she answered. She found her voice was cracked and shivering.
"What did you think when you ran off like that? We were worried sick!" he said, slight anger traceable in his deep voice. She stared in his deep, sapphire-like blue eyes, there was hurt and anger in there; she knew he was fighting his emotions.
Tomoyo was shocked to see that he located her at her favorite swing in Penguin Park although the possibilities were endless. A girl of sixteen would not hang out in playgrounds to cool off.
She got over her shock and ran her gaze over his whole face. His pale cheeks were flushed and his usually sleek and smooth black hair was glistening with rain drops. His cotton white polo was drenched, dark pants crumpled and his sneakers were splattered with mud.
"Your mother is very worried! You've been gone for hours! And look at yourself! Staying outside in the rain! You'll get sick, you know that?" Eriol carried on as she sat calmly under his furious stare. He stopped lecturing and stared at her for a second.
"And why do you care?"
Eriol felt furious, like he wanted to kick something. He had gone all through his trouble to find her and she acted all I-don't-care-what-you-say around him. Had she gone mad?
"You shouldn't have gone through with your idiotic plan to find me. I'll be well on my way." Tomoyo snapped.
"Don't act all prima donna to me Tomoyo! I looked for you because I love you!" he berated. Then he stopped as he realized what he said. Tomoyo stared at him, her dull eyes suddenly clearing. He looked for her because he loved her!
A part of her wanted to believe him but another wanted to slap his face. She vowed never to forgive him for his cheating on her and it made her really angry. (Nobody ever had the chance to make Tomoyo angry.) He just broke her heart when she offered it to him, for him to take care of and love.
"Oh then why did I find you cheating on me? You spending, " she smirked "quality time with that Miss Murasaki? What have you to say now? Eh, Hiiragisawa?"
Eriol stared at her dumbfounded as her words sank in. What was Tomoyo trying to say? The harder he thought, the harder it became. He can't make sense of her words.
"You Hiiragisawa are a dirty, cheating bastard. Don't you dare sweet talk your way to me," Tomoyo continued on, coldly. "When did Hiiragisawa Eriol really care for a person? Oh, let me see… when he wants something from her!"
Eriol realized what she was talking about.
She was referring to what happened that afternoon when she walked in on his conversation with a friend from England; the poor girl was slapped by Tomoyo's own hands in misunderstanding. He was just kissing her forehead as a sign of goodbye. It was a surprise to see Tomoyo slapping anyone. In all of his days as her boyfriend never did he imagine Tomoyo, the sweet and angelic girl, could get jealous at such a simple gesture! Never even see her lose control or that comforting smile or even swear! It was too unbearable to imagine that it was just because of a weird mix of jealousy and misunderstanding.
"Y-You've got to understand Tomoyo! It's not what you think." Eriol croaked.
"Oh yes it is!" Tomoyo said, her voice rising and her pale, ivory- like cheeks were suddenly tinted by patches of red.
"Please hear me out. It really hurts me to see you like this! Murasaki-chan's just my friend." Eriol said softly, looking imploringly to her violet eyes but she looked away. "Tomoyo… you don't know how much it hurts me to see you angry."
"Yes I know. You know what Hiiragisawa? I HATE YOU!" Tomoyo whispered, her eyes narrowing dangerously. Her mind clouded over, blinded by rage and hatred agreed with her statement but her heart shattered into a thousand pieces.
Eriol felt his body grow weak. She can't mean that. Can she?
There were times when men who seem so strong and invulnerable put down their guard for their loved ones that was their weakness. They will feel the weight of the world and would do anything just to spare their loved ones from harm in any way possible.
"Let me explain, Tomoyo. Please let me explain!" Eriol pleaded, edging closer, kneeling into the mud where she was sitting at. His hands were shaking as he held the umbrella overhead. "Tomoyo, please… I swore to be your knight in shining armor and I will never break my romise!"
Tomoyo bit her lip. She regretted that she said that, to him especially. She did not understand why she was suddenly weak, drained of energy; did not understand why her heart was beating painfully in her chest though she said she hated him, her heart, her fragile heart did not.
"I love you and you've always known that! I won't run into the rain, tired and worried if I didn’t care. I wouldn't betray your trust! I won't ever, ever break your heart!" Eriol said, hot tears stinging his eyes and choking his throat which suddenly tightened painfully. He grabbed her hands and clasping it with his, feeling hers through the cold.
I lied to myself. I lied to him. I lied to my heart.
"Don't!" Tomoyo yelped, sharply retreating from his touch. She withdrew her hand quickly and turned away, letting the rain fall upon her face, hiding the tears.
The lies I uttered were so convincing, I almost believed it.
Violet blue eyes blinked rapidly, trying to will away the flowing tears. She will not cry, not now, not ever, not in front of him. Pain seared and she clutched her chest protectively, letting her damp hair cascade like a waterfall of darkness.
I didn't really want I did it to hide the pain. It's not his fault, its mine.
"Tomoyo! Listen to me." Eriol begged softly. He loved her so much that he was willing to die for her, right then and there. He knelt still, umbrella protecting him from the icy rain but not with her.
I hurt because I did not trust. No matter how much I think about it. No, I try to think that I hate him but I can't.
She curled up to herself, shaking. She could feel the rain now, beating down on her mercilessly, unlike before when she couldn't feel it. Numbness was an addictive feeling, she thought sarcastically.
Tomoyo cracked her eyes open to see that night had come to cover the place with her dark cloak; no moon, no stars, no comfort from her loneliness and pain. Her head rested on her limp arms that was hugging her legs and leaning over to the low, gray brick wall like a lifeless doll.
She sat up languidly, her sight hazy and unfocused. She breathed shallow breaths to ease herself. She felt hot then cold, her sight clouding as she looked up into the heavens, not clear and cloudless, but dark and dismal. Her unfocused gaze fell on Eriol who was crying, rushing over to where she was...
I love him.
She did not know she was resting in his warm embrace. She did not know that he was protecting her from the rain. She did not know why she broke down completely, crying her heart out to release the pain pent up inside, to ease the pain inside.
It felt like there was something inside of her that was finally extracted, released. Her mask had been shattered upon realization. All her lies to herself be forgiven, cleansed. Her soul, once again pure and it gives off love effusively.
She would not misunderstand him. He who was her love will always be her love forever. At last, Tomoyo understood. He wasn't really cheating after all.
The reasons slid in and out of focus, the mere effort of focusing on one coherent thought was hard at her situation. Her body suddenly felt so cold, like she had drowned in a frosty river or had been buried under snow.
She shuddered. But she feels his warm lips pressing upon her softly, hesitantly. She opened her eyes to look into the bright, magnetic sapphire blue that was gazing at her hesitantly like she was glass or a treasure that will suddenly shatter into pieces.
She smiled and started to kiss back although weakly, with all her being pouring forth to warm them both. They had discarded the umbrella and it rolled away far from Eriol's swift grasp. And they were sitting there, under the falling rain together, with Eriol protecting her. He wouldn't let her go and will love her forever, purely and devotedly, never betraying her trust. The kiss was more of love than passion, and it brought each closer to the other in an invisible bond as strong as chains.
That's right. I love him so much.
That's something I cannot lie about to my heart.
And in this falling rain, will I swear to be his, forever.
Nothing can separate us I will fight to be his no matter how hard.
I love him.
oOoOoOo
Title: Sa Kanya
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Drama
Status: Complete
Comments/Warnings: It's written in my native tongue, Tagalog. So it might not make sense to the international audience.
Written: 07-02-03/ Edited: 10-24-08
Published: 08-27-06
Alam naman niyang uulan pero hindi siya umalis sa kanyang kinalalagyan. Humigpit lamang ang hawak niya sa kadena ng swing. Wala na ang mga tao sa playground. Siya na lamang ang natitira. Napangiti siya. Mas mabuti na iyon. Ayaw niyang may makakakita o makakaabala sa kanya.
Naririnig naman niya ang mga kulog. Mukhang mabigat na ang mga ulap. Ilang minuto na lang at uulan na. Mababasa na siya sa luha ng langit. Tinulak niya ang sarili at nilasap ang pakiramdam ng kanyang pagsi-swing. She closed her eyes and savored the sensation. Minsan ay inihalintulad niya ito sa pagibig. She was swinging in between two opposite extremes of happiness and sadness.
Nakalugay ang mahaba niyang buhok at sigurado siyang sa kanyang puting damit ay mukha siyang multo. A giggle escaped her lips. Pero alam naman niyang napakaganda niyang multo. Pumatak ang ilang droplets sa kanyang mukha. Nagsisimula na ang isang malakas at nakakalinis na ulan.
Tama lang yun, she thought, kailangan kong ialis lahat.
"Tomoyo!"
Lumingon siya at nakita ang isang familiar na lalaki. Nakatayo ito ilang metro sa kanyang kinatatayuan sa likuran niya. Napangiti siya. But that was a bittersweet smile.
"Oh, Eriol, ba't nandiyan ka?" wika niya. Pero alam niyang alam ni Eriol na dito siya pupunta dahil dito sila laging naguusap at naglalabas ng mga sama ng loob sa isa't isa.
"Ikaw dapat ang tanungin ko niyan." Mataman ang titig nito sa kanya. Ngayon lamang niyang napansin na may bitbit itong payong. Hello Kitty ang tatak. Kanya pala iyon.
"Wag mo na itanong," nakangiti pa rin niyang sabi. She waited for his reaction.
"Umuulan." Eriol was still staring seriously at her. "Mababasa ka. Halika rito, makisilong ka na."
"Akin yan ah," sabi niya.
"Oo nga. Magkakasakit ka, Tomoyong bruha, kapag hindi ka sumilong." Paalala nito sa kanya. Lalong lumuwang ang ngiti niya. Eriol's old nickname for her still survives.
She shook her head and turned away. Paborito niyang pakiramdam ang ulan sa kanyang mukha. Nakakagaan ng loob. Nakakapayapa. Nakakapaglinis. Hindi kumibo si Eriol sa likuran niya. Nandoon pa rin ito at pinanonood siya. He didn't seem to get tired from standing. She could see him in her mind with his handsome face schooled into a mask as well as the aching heart he was hiding beneath the mask.
Nagulat si Tomoyo. Ngayon lang niya napagtanto iyon. Hindi siya masyado aware sa kanyang childhood best friend ng ganoon. Marami siyang alam tungkol kay Eriol pero ang kalagayan ng puso nito tungkol sa kanya ang hindi niya talagang alam.
She bit her lip. Kaya lang naman siya hindi pinipilit ni Ryan na sumama sa ilalim ng payong ay dahil alam nitong gusto niya ang ulan. At ibang lalaki sana ang aalok noon para sa kanya. The rain pounded on. Malapit nang maggabi pero hindi pa rin sila umaalis doon. Alam naman ni Tomoyo na magkakasakit na siya pero wala siyang lakas upang umalis sa kinauupuan at sumama na kay Eriol pauwi.
"Tomoyo," mahinang sabi ni Eriol "tara na."
Marunong naman itong lalaking ito na respetuhin ang personal space ng best friend. They've been together for so long he didn't know what it felt to be alone. Pero alam niyang may mga pagkakataong hindi niya kayang manghimasok kay Tomoyo. Kaya hindi niya sinubukang kausapin ito o i-comfort man lang sa mahabang oras. He knew she wanted him to be there but not really there. Masakit para sa kanya, oo, pero mauuna ang respeto sa kanya.
He walked towards her. Naging tahimik siya sa mga nakaraang minuto at natatakot na siya doon. Tomoyo was never quiet. Nilalabas nito kung ano ang saloobin nito upang maibsan ang sakit. Hindi nito ugaling manahimik na lamang. Tumigil si Eriol sa paglalakad noong nakatayo na siya sa likuran mismo ni Tomoyo. Madilim na ang paligid. Gabi na pala. He stared at her with hurt tearing up his insides.
Nakatungo ito at ang kanyang mahabang buhok ay bahagyang itinatago ang kanyang mukha. Sa sobrang kahigpitan ng kapit niya sa kadena ay namumuti na ang kanyang mga kamay. At basang-basa na siya. "Tomoyo." Bulong ni Eriol at lumuhod siya sa isang tuhod upang tingnan ng mabuti ang mukha nito. "Please, look at me."
They had contrasting appearances but their hearts were one and the same. "Hindi na niya ako mahal." Sobrang hina ng bulong nito pero narinig ni Eriol. Lumungkot lalo ang anyo niya. "Nakita ko siya kanina na may kasamang ibang babae. Tapos nagkunwari siyang hindi niya ako kilala. Nasampal ko siya..."
Naalala ni Eriol ang pangyayari kaninang tanghali. Nagpunta sila sa mall ni Tomoyo kasi may kailangang bilhin ito at wala rin ang boyfriend dahil daw may appointment. Kagagaling lang niya sa pagbili ng ice cream nung masaksihan ang pangyayari. Tumakbo palayo si Tomoyo pero alam na niEriol kung saan direksyon ito pupunta. "Bakit ganoon? Minahal ko siya ng sobra-sobra, Eriol..."
She looked so beautiful and so sad with her wet hair framing her hair and raindrops on her eyelashes. Napakalalim ng kanyang mga mata at ramdam niyang patuloy siyang malulunod sa lungkot at ganda nito.
"Tomoyo..." Lumuwag ang kapit nito sa kadena at unti-unting kumalas. Naging isa na ang kanyang mga luha at ang ulan. Kaya pala gusto ni Tomoyo ang pakiramdam ng ulan sa kanyang mukha. Lumuhod din ito sa putikan at hindi napigilan ni Eriol ang sariling hindi lumapit sa kanya upang yakapin ito. She was so cold and so wet and so sad. Hindi niya alam kung kaninong kalungkutan ang bumabalot sa kanyang kalooban. Matagal na rin niyang hindi nayayakap si Tomoyo ng ganito; naamoy niya ang mabangong buhok at nararamdaman niya ang lambot ng katawan nito. Sobrang iba sa nakasanayan na niya noong bata pa sila ngunit mas gusto niya ito.
Yumakap na rin sa kanya si Tomoyo at umiyak. Hinagod ni Eriol ang likuran niya at hinayaan na lamang na nakalapat ang mukha nito sa kanyang dibdib at nakakapit sa kanyang damit. Basa na rin sila pareho dahil nabitawan na ni Eriol ang payong noong yinakap niya si Tomoyo. "Bakit ba kung magmamahal ako ay lagi akong nasasaktan? Hindi na ba ako nararapat? Bakit niya ako pinagtaksilan? Eriol, sobra na eh... Ang sakit..." hikbi ng kanyang paboritong kaibigan "nagmahal naman ako ng tapat at totoo. Hindi ako dapat masaktan..."
"Shhh... Tomoyo..." Hinagod na lamang nito ang buhok at likod. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin. Mas mabuti sigurong manahimik. "You'll be fine..."
"Hindi ko na kaya 'to... Paano na ako papasok sa school bukas? Maraming nakakakita sa ginawa ko... sa ginawa niya... Nakakahiya kasi matagal niya nang ginagawa ito sa akin and worse, nagbulag-bulagan ako. Naniwala akong mapapabago ko siya. Ang tanga-tanga ko pala, ano?
"Bakit kaya hindi mo sinubukang sabihin sa akin? Ka-barkada mo siya, Eriol, pero best friend mo ako... Bakit hindi mo ako ipinaglaban?" Her words broke his heart. "Kung pwede nga lang sana eh, ginawa ko na. Pero naawa ako sa'yo kasi mahal mo siya. At alam kong hindi ka maniniwala hangga't hindi pa nangyayari sa iyo." Napapikit na lamang ang binata. Regret tightened it's hold on his heart. "You will go to school tomorrow. Tapos na iyon. Wala na kayo kaya huwag mo na siyang isipin.
"You loved because it was inevitable for you. Alam ko naman na matagal mo nang crush iyong si Kaede eh. Minahal mo siya kahit hindi buong-buo iyon. Sorry na at hindi ko sinabi sa iyo na playboy iyon. I knew you won't last long and you would get hurt too. Ano pa ba naman ang magagawa ko kung hindi abangan ang katapusan at sambutin ka?" Humigpit ang yakap ni Tomoyo sa kanya. Ngumiti siya kahit alam niyang umiiyak na rin siya. "Best friends na tayo ng sobrang tagal, Tomoyo." He kissed her hair, all the while wondering why he reveled in their bittersweet embrace. "Kilalang-kilala na kita. Makakabangon ka at magmamahal ng iba... You'll be fine on school tomorrow. Hindi ka rin tanga kasi pinili mo akong best friend. That was the wisest decision."
She broke away from their embrace. He let her go reluctantly. Napahagikgik si Tomoyo kahit umiiyak siya kanina. "Ang yabang mo talaga."
Natawa na rin si Eriol. "Eh, sa totoo naman. And yung sakit mo para sa kanya, bukas wala na."
"Parang ganun kadali." Nagtaas pa ng kilay si Tomoyo. She looked so adorable to Eriol's eyes. "I mean, we were together for at least seven months. Hindi ba siya nararapat iyakan?"
"Hindi pa naman patay yung gagong yun. Wag na. At drama mo lang yun."
"OA ka naman. Hindi ako drama queen, ha." she said in mock-rage. He wanted so much to laugh and hug her.
"Anong tawag mo sa kanina?" ngiti ni Eriol.
"Drama." At sabay silang tumawa. Kanina lamang ay gusto niyang umiyak pero ngayong kasama niya si Eriol ay napakadali na ang pagtawa. They laughed until their stomachs hurt. It was so much fun to laugh under the rain. So much better than crying. Pagkapatapos ay naalala ni Tomoyo na napakaliit lamang ng distansiya ng kanilang katawan. Tumingala siya at napatitig kay Eriol. Mas matangkad nga pala ito ng ilang inches at gwapo naman pala sa malapitan. At ngayon rin lang niya napansin na he looked so handsome in that moment.
The rain had tousled his hair in a sexy manner and his eyes were laughing. At nakakaakit pala ng tingin ang mga labi nito. They looked so soft and inviting. Parang ang sarap halikan. At hindi rin niya malimutan ang pakiramdam ng yakap nito. She'd felt so safe and secure.
"Tomoyo?" Pinukaw ni Eriol ang kanyang iniisip. She immediately dismissed her thoughts. Ito ri Eriol. Kababata niya at best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Pero gwapo talaga siya. Namula ulit si Tomoyo.
"Best friend and little sister pa rin kita kahit anong mangyari." Gusto tuloy ni Eriol sapukin ang sarili. Paano niya matatawag na little sister ito eh halata namang dalagang-dalaga na ito! Incest ang mangyayari sa kanila at hindi niya maialis sa isip niya iyon.
"Eriol?" bulong ni Tomoyo. Nagulat si Eriol. Pumungay ang mga mata nito at tila nangaakit.
"Ano?" sagot niya. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso niya.
"Mahal pala kita." sabi nito.
Tumawa siya na parang nagaalangan. "Mahal din kita, Tomoyong bruha." There, another barrier. Mas nagulat siya nang bigla nitong yinakap siya at hinalikan. Mabilis. Isa lang. Namumula ang mga pisngi nilang dalawa.
"Para saan yun?" tanong ni Eriol. Pakiramdam niya ay nakuha na niya ang gatepass sa langit.
"Wala lang. Gusto ko lang sabihin." sabi ni Tomoyo. Nakangiti ito. Tumayo siya at tiningnan ang damit. Putikan na pala ang skirt ng kanyang white dress. She sighed and helped him get up. Saka niya pinanood ito pulutin ang payong.
"Eriol," sabi niya at nagkatinginan sila "buhatin mo na lang ako pauwi."
He smiled. Matagal na niyang hindi nagagawa iyon para kay Tomoyo. Iyon na ang matagal na nilang nakasanayan magkaibigan. Ever since she started going with boys ay nabawasan na ang kanilang time para sa isa't isa. Lagi siyang naka standby mode para kay Tomoyo. Pero hindi nabawasan ang kagustuhan niyang alagaan at mahalin ito.
"Sakay na." At sumampa nga si Tomoyo sa likuran niya at walang problemang tumayo si Eriol habang pinulupot ng babae ang kanyang mga braso sa leeg nito. Nasa ilalim na rin sila pareho ng Hello Kitty na payong.
Nagsimula na si Eriol maglakad pauwi at buhat si Tomoyo. Nakangiti rin naman siya. Kahit matagal na panahon ang dadaan, alam naman niyang mamahalin rin siya ni Tomoyo. Sa halik nila kanina, alam niyang nangangako itong sa kanya na pupunta pagkatapos maka-recover sa break-up nila ni Kaede.
She was asleep on his back. Tumitila na rin ang ulan. At alam ni Eriol na bukas ay magiging magkasama na ulit sila ni Tomoyong mahal na mahal niya.
oOoOoOo
Title: Somebody Told Me
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Angst
Status: Complete
Comments/Warnings: It's rather vague at the end. But it's very emotional. :p
Somebody told me
She sat up with her eyes focused on the open window. It was a beautiful day with a bright blue sky and warm sunshine. But she didn’t care much for it. By being quiet in her bed, she found comfort that she couldn’t get anywhere else.
“Tomoyo-chan!” A cheerful voice greeted. Her head turned to the source of the voice. Sakura Kinomoto, her best friend, stood on her doorway with a smile. She was dressed in a blue sundress. “What are you still doing in bed? Come on, Tomoyo-chan, we have to go!”
Tomoyo Daidouji didn’t say anything as Sakura took her hand and dragged her out of bed. If anyone but her best friend did that, she would’ve gotten mad. Her violet blue eyes were curious. “What’s wrong?”
“Get dressed, please! We have to go.” The Card Mistress said impatiently. She opened the heiress’s closet and tossed out a simple cream-colored sheath dress. While she browsed her friend’s accessories, her best friend got out of her pajamas and into her dress. “Here.”
Tomoyo clipped on pearl earrings and pulled on the matching cream-colored blazer. Her best friend ran a hairbrush through her dark waves before pulling it back on a ponytail. She was still clueless on why she let her best friend take care of her when it was her duty to look after her.
Sakura waited while she brushed her teeth and washed her face. The Card Mistress was agitated, she could tell. After swiping on red lipstick, Tomoyo was dragged out of the house and into the bright sunlit street.
“Where are we going?” Tomoyo asked as she half-stumbled behind her best friend. She felt slightly overdressed in her sheath dress and ballet shoes. But because Sakura dressed her, she bit back her comments.
“You’ll see.” The usually cheerful and happy girl answered quietly. “Did you know he’s leaving?”
The dark-haired girl stared, completely stunned. He was leaving her again… “No, I wasn’t aware.”
“We’re going to catch him.” Sakura said matter-of-factly.
They continued walking. Tomoyo’s mind whirled as she imagined her former lover. He was leaving again for someone else. It was shocking on how quickly he changed his mind to hurt her completely. Her fists clenched and she bit her bottom lip. She still had her pride.
“Sakura-chan, we’re not going.” The dark-haired heiress said firmly. They slowed down. The Card Mistress turned to her best friend, confused. She was very worried and concerned about her best friend ever since her last relationship failed. If it meant repairing broken bridges to help Tomoyo move on, she was willing to help her through it.
“Please, it’s for closure.” Sakura explained. “You have to move on by talking to him at least!”
“Let’s stop. I don’t think we’ll find him there.” Tomoyo said quietly. Her head was bowed and her eyes were filled with tears. She didn’t want to see him again after he broke her heart.
“But you can’t let him walk away without a fight. If it was me, you’d say that! Why not follow your advice?” the Card Mistress looked distressed “You still love him, don’t you?”
“It’s my choice, Sakura-chan. I don’t want to see him.” Tomoyo cried out and she turned to run towards the other direction. Her long dark hair flew behind her like a shadow.
“Tomoyo-chan,” the brown-haired girl murmured. She felt angry and sad at the same time. But as she watched her best friend go, she decided to let her be. It was a lesson that must be learned.
oOoOoOo
Tomoyo wiped her eyes. She had ended up in one of the swings in Penguin Park. Even if it reminded her of the days when she had Eriol, she didn’t care. Swinging and crying managed to soothe her broken heart.
It was painful to remember sweet little nothings like his smiles and words. Their relationship was nothing but bliss. She floated happily like a bubble until she was cruelly burst. It was from one of her guy classmates that she learned about Eriol’s secret plan to return to Kaho Mizuki’s arms in England.
The heiress avoided her boyfriend and kept to herself. It didn’t matter if Eriol was laughing at her or leaving. She wanted to cut all of her connections with him in order to lick her wounds in peace.
It was all made of lies. She broke up with him through the phone and refused all of his apologies. Though she was heartbroken, she still had her pride. When they met each other in school, she walked without sparing him a glance. She didn’t care if the whole school gossiped about them. She was more concerned with her emotional health.
Tomoyo realized that it was very late. She got up. Though she was sixteen already, she still had a curfew. She didn’t want her bodyguards to get worried.
When she got to the bridge, she stopped to look at her reflection. Then she fixed her clothes and pocketed her drenched handkerchief and hurting heart. The dark-haired girl looked around when she realized that the park was curiously deserted.
Though she didn’t possess any magic, tiny prickles climbed up her spine.
“What’s happening to me?” she mused as she looked at her reflection. A beautiful girl with long dark hair, gentle blue eyes and a sweet smile looked back at her. There was no trace of hurt or anger in her.
A sigh escaped her lips. The smile vanished. Pain crossed her features.
Is this me that everyone knows?
She let out a soft bitter laugh. She was starting to get used to the pain that Eriol drilled into her heart. It was always like that for her. One hurt would always be followed by another.
Am I strong like everyone thinks?
A cool smile crept up her lips. She presented an impeccable mask to the world. It was something that she had created when she was a little girl. She had to be strong for her mother and then to Sakura.
Is this the warmth that everyone feels around me?
Sometimes she thought that her mother didn’t really love her. She existed as a doll to be like Nadeshiko with no soul and heart. Her mother always talked about Nadeshiko. Growing up she heard nothing but comparison to the older woman. So Tomoyo decided to be a warm, caring person to everyone. It would satisfy her mother and protect her.
Am I really loved?
Tears sprang into her eyes. The thought had occurred to her. Every time, she lied to herself by saying that she was cared for. The people in her world cared about her. But she didn’t really know.
Am I really here?
Tomoyo wondered if she existed at all. All she had was a shell. No one really knew the real Tomoyo. She lay inside, curled up and undiscovered. Nobody knew who she really was. Not her best friend, her mother or her other friends…
Only Eriol knew.
That was how she fell in love with him. She could be herself around him. She didn’t feel pressured to keep up the charade. He understood because he was the same. They felt comfortable and comforted around each other.
“How many tears spill from your eyes is also the same number of smiles from your lips?” A voice spoke up. “Don’t you agree?”
She turned around to see him silhouetted against the rising silver moon. His dark hair gleamed with a bluish sheen but his eyes glittered with a different gleam. Her breath caught in her throat.
“It’s you,” she whispered.
“Good evening,” Eriol Hiiragizawa said, smiling. He walked up to her and stared down at her amethyst-colored eyes. “Why are you alone?”
“What do you want from me?” she hissed. Coldness seeped into her voice.
“Nothing, dearest Tomoyo-san… Somebody told me that you were crying.” He replied coolly. She flinched and stepped back.
“Somebody told me you were leaving,” Tomoyo retorted. “I was glad until now. The report was wrong”
“Oh,” said the mage, a bit taken aback. “Your words wound me.”
Tomoyo looked away to break his spell. His beautiful blue eyes captivated her and wove his enchantment around her. She loved gazing up at his blue eyes until she realized that he couldn’t meet her stare.
“Where were you, Tomoyo-san?” Eriol murmured, letting his hand glide up from her wrist to her arm smoothly. It was a trick that usually won her over. But it didn’t work.
She blushed but she pulled her arm away. “I’m sorry but I don’t want to talk to you. Please excuse me.”
Eriol held her hand fast and stared at her fiercely. His smile told her how much he missed her. “You were betrayed, lied to. I’m not going back to her.”
“I was told that you were lying and it was true,” Tomoyo spat “I can’t trust you.”
“Your source was wrong. I’m not leaving the country. I’m not about to leave you lost and crying without an explanation.” He looked frustrated. His mask was removed; she was looking at him with new eyes.
She believed him, in spite of herself.
“But we’re over now,” Tomoyo said curtly. It took all of her to turn back and walk away. Tears made glistening trails in her face. She felt her heart break as she murmured goodbye.
“Why?” he called out to her. “Why deny it? I love you.”
“Because I don’t love you anymore,” she replied coolly “I can’t love you when I can’t trust you. Goodye, Eriol-kun.”
She ran away but she was calmed. It was her truth that she must believe. It was her heart that must be healed.
oOoOoOo
Title: Tape Recorder
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Drama
Status: Complete
Published: 02-24-09
Cleaning the old attic in the middle of the night was not exactly a brilliant idea.
Moonlight washed in from the dusty bay windows. A full moon peeked at him. His dark hair gleamed with mingled silver and bluish sheen. Pale skin seemed to glow under the milky light. The years were kind to him- he was still as handsome as ever.
He was older now. So much older than the day he had gone up here with her.
Eriol Hiiragizawa carried a huge box out of the way. The room was deserted and messy. Sealed boxes, old furniture, broken mirrors, heavy trunks and closed cabinets seemed to stare at him. The room smelled of dust and age. It was filled with things that he’d collected over the years while living in this old house.
This was the house of his previous incarnation. It was his house now. But before that, it was their house.
He sat down on a ratty red high-backed armchair and sighed. Too many memories still lingered in this old house. But he wouldn’t erase them, not for anything, not for nothing.
Blue eyes landed on a small and old-fashioned wooden trunk in the darkest corner. His heartbeats accelerated. The old man smiled; he should be dying now if it gets any faster. He heaved himself out of the chair to go towards the mysterious object.
Thirty years ago since she had placed it there.
He almost smiled to himself. How clever of her to hide it up in the attic. She must have known how it would hurt him, tear him apart. His bones creaked; his knees weren’t as strong as before. Wherever she was, she might have been laughing at the sight that he made while he walked up the rickety old stairs.
Written on that letter given to him after she was gone-
“Look for me, my love. I’m still here though you read this while I’ve gone.”
Eriol in his grief burst out laughing. He had lifted his head up towards the blue summer sky and bellowed, “Are we still playing hide and seek, love?”
He grasped the handle and pulled. Layers and layers of fine dust covered the finely carved lid. A faded saffron ribbon was tied with the antiquated padlock. He conjured what was left of his magic and unlocked the trunk.
Footsteps up the stairs. He paused and turned to see the eternally young Ruby Moon in Nakuru’s old body. (His guardians can die too. They have limits. He was not God. His powers were not enough. Without a magic Book or a purpose, they would perish without him. So they will die.) She carried Spinel Sun in her arms. The brightest of smiles lay in her face.
“Are we interrupting?” she asked gently. The red-haired woman let go. Spinel Sun, released at last, flew to him. “Can we watch?”
“Of course you may,” Eriol replied, smiling. “You love her too.”
They pulled the trunk towards the ratty red armchair with sighs and groans. It was heavy and old; it smelled like incense and smoke. Nakuru smiled at the fanciful carvings and the beautiful woodwork. It was her master’s mistress through and through.
Eriol yanked at the lock. It came away. With held breath, he lifted the lid. Peered inside the trunk and smiled. “I’ve found you, my love.”
His trembling fingertips caressed its contents lovingly. Spinel Sun nestled on his shoulder purred. The faintest smell- her scent, lavender sachets, mothballs it was- permeated the room.
He saw a collection of envelopes, a picture frame, and a lock of hair in a vial, a scrapbook, a doll and tape recorder. With a smile he untied the faded purple ribbon to see the dates on the envelopes. Early days, it was. Going backwards in time when they were young, beautiful and in love.
The scrapbook contained pictures of her first love. Her beloved, she used to tease. The brown-haired girl was young, carefree and sparkling with life in those photos. They were different facets of her. It was all caught, stilled, captured. He couldn’t help but laugh when he thought that the girl in question was still the same timeless beauty.
He shifted through it just to glimpse its contents. (There was plenty of time to read and see.) Fourth grade, fifth grade, and sixth grade- he knew them all. Nakuru laughed when a picture fell out.
Eriol picked it up and smiled. It was him. Behind it read daintily written words: “A mystery.”
Then he saw pictures of the last elementary school play production. Princess and prince getting together after all those years. After that was them.
The lock of hair was perfectly preserved. It was dark-colored like twilight or dusk, tightly coiled like springs, commas for eternity. He knew that if he opened it, he would be bewitched again. The smell of her would fill his nostrils, ensnaring him.
Her doll when she was young. It was a precious possession. He wondered where it had gone when she said that she was leaving her childhood. She had stopped being a child when they met. That was when they finally grew up. (But she also always said that when the time comes, it would go to their child. So that their offspring would know how it was to be protected by a gentler and stronger magic like her love.)
The picture frame contained a magnificent photograph. It was their wedding picture. They were smiling, laughing then. She was a radiant beauty with her hair piled up, wrapped in lace and silk and velvet, ribbons swaying in the breeze. Her lips were so wide, so pretty. His arms were around her; he was wearing a dark suit. They were so happy, so young. He’d never forgotten the beautiful moment.
“She kept a lot, didn’t she?” Nakuru said quietly.
“Her memories are still here,” Spine added. “She’s as much a part of you as we are.”
Eriol nodded. He picked up the tape recorder and opened it. There was a small tape- labeled neatly, waiting. Wondering what was inside the obsolete tape recorder, he pressed play.
He who never cried after she died got sobs caught in his throat. For the first time in thirty years since his beloved wife died, he heard her voice.
The same crystal clear and haunting beauty of Tomoyo Hiiragizawa nee Daidouji’s melodic singing filled the still evening air.
Tears ran down his cheeks. Nakuru squeezed his hand, choking back sobs. Spinel Sun rubbed into his cheek soothingly.
It was so beautiful. Her love washed over him. It was truly her doing. Without even realizing it, he had learned to let her go.
oOoOoOo
Title: Truly, Madly, Deeply
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance
Status: Complete
Published: 09-11-05
I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be you fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be you love
Be everything that you need
Eriol Hiiragizawa glanced at the beautiful angel standing beside him. Her long dark gray hair was tied up in two high ponytails, blue ribbons gracing her silken hair. Her hair was so soft and silky that it just flows along gracefully whenever the wind plays with it. She looked so surreal, silhouetted against the bright full moon that sent its pearly light to shine faintly on her pale skin.
He wanted to hug her and tell her his true feelings. His feelings had pent up inside of him, unable to be expressed.
The night was picturesque with its velvet blue sky with millions of stars shining on it with the bright moon that slowly rose to its zenith. It was romantic.
"The city is so big." she said with her sweet voice.
He nodded in agreement as he gazed at the huge city of Tomoeda. They were on top of a mountain park where they were surrounded by patches of big trees with the blossoms of cherry and peach.
They were alone; it was almost like a date. But they were not; he just met her in his walks around the park like any other night from the last few months. Then they decided to look at the city.
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
Cause I'm counting on
She stole a glance at her companion. He was quite handsome, even if he was dressed in plain clothes. His bluish-black hair was almost the color of the night sky and in his intense blue eyes she felt she could lose herself.
She smiled slightly; he had been thinking. That was obvious and perhaps he may have something different in his mind.
She wondered about her feelings. She was quite confused to speak truthfully.
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning yeah!
She pondered on it. She was deeply in love with somebody, a love that rooted strongly to her heart ever since she vowed to stay beside her love.
It was a forbidden and unattainable love.
It was impossible. But yet she dreamed and fantasized the sweet imaginings that came with it.
Eriol frowned thoughtfully. Love was his greatest challenge. He must make reality from his fantasies. He wanted to forget the past he had with Kaho Mizuki and make a fresh start.
There were times when he hopelessly murmured her name just to hear it, truly intoxicated in its melody. He will let go of the past. And forget about the hurts and the pain.
I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lie like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me
By some unknown force, the two glanced at each other at the same time. Bright sapphire met azure, so different yet so similar.
Then they both realized that they were both the same in physical and mental aspects. Both were a bit eccentric, incredibly perceptive, and amazingly manipulative of others. And seemed to be made for each other.
"Tomoyo…”Eriol breathed as he gazed at her with those beautiful brilliant sapphire eyes. She was so pretty and he was amazed that her physical beauty matched her wit and charm.
And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky
I'll make a wish
To send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
"Eriol…" Tomoyo said softly, her sweetly melodious voice almost like a breath of wind. She could see the mysterious twinkles dancing in his eyes.
She froze when she felt his hand almost hesitantly stroking her hair, the silken strands caught in his gentle fingers.
The smile playing in his lips was both calm and loving. He was serious about this sweet display of affection.
Tomoyo felt tears well up in her eyes.
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty
That was surrounded by the comfort and protection of the highest powers
In the lonely hours
The tears devour you
Eriol smiled down upon her and said softly in her ear, "Tomoyo."
He gently wiped away the jeweled tears glistening in her dark lashes. She looked so breathtaking and so sweetly innocent. He knew he loved her with all his heart.
"Tomoyo, I never understood my feelings for you. But now I understand. I-I." he said and he knelt down and took her hand and pressed her gentle fingers to his cheeks. He looked up to her eyes, eyes the color of the endless summer sky. They were so deep that he thought he could stare at them forever.
"I love you Tomoyo."
I want to stand with you in the mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lie like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me
Tomoyo's pale porcelain-like skin was suddenly tinted by rosy red. She looked down on him, shocked by his words.
The love she had been thinking about was for Eriol. He was perhaps the best and the most courageous man she had ever met; he was the only one who had dared ever to pledge his feelings for her.
Oh can you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
Course its standing right before you
All that you need will surely come
Tomoyo had dreamed of this moment for many nights. It was like being suspended in an eternal second, the golden moment of her life.
She was speechless for a second and she nodded, not trusting her voice.
I'll be your wish
I'll be your dream
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do.
Eriol waited for her reply, half-excited and half-anxious. He wanted to be everything for her, he'll treat her gently and never hurt her.
"I…” she started to say.
Eriol waited anxiously and stared at her eyes.
"Eriol… I love you too.” She said with a sweet smile.
It seemed to them that the world stopped. The time stopped. The ceaseless falling of the blossoms bore witness to this special moment. The wind blew, scattering the petals to far-off heights, stirring her dark-gray curls that framed her attractive face.
Eriol stood up, not trusting his knees to carry his weight. He looked down on her and carefully brushed a few strands from her face and smiled.
"Tomoyo…" he murmured and leaned closer. He cupped her chin and lifted it gently to get a better look at her face, now streaked with tears of joy.
Her tears glistened in the pale moonlight, slightly giving her face an ethereal glow. And her eyes shone with gentle passion and happiness. This was what she had been waiting for all her life.
I'll be your wish
I'll be your dream
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
That was what he promised. That he will always be there for her, that he will never hurt her.
They looked like two silhouettes in the dark, bathing in the pale moonlight. It was a sacred promise that they would love each other and make this love grow stronger.
I'll be your wish I'll be your dream
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply