Fic: Night and Day (Sam/Vala)
Title: Night and Day
Author: angelqueen04
Rating: PG
Spoilers: vague ones for Season 10 and the movies.
Warnings: off-screen character death
Recipient: meeshy
Prompt: Grief is the agony of an instant, the indulgence of grief the blunder of a life. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881)
Pairings: Sam/Vala, Daniel/Sam friendship, Daniel/Vala friendship
Author’s Notes: For the Samantha Carter mini ficathon at sg_femslash. Many thanks to havocthecat for her excellent beta job. :)
Eight weeks after Daniel died, Sam wished it would rain. Rain until there was a huge flood, washing everything away, and leaving nothing but destruction in its wake. God had supposedly done it before, when he had Noah build his ark, so why not now? Surely it was only right that someone care, react, anything, to Daniel’s death.
The Ori were dead, Adria was dead, and now their army had been defeated. They should all be celebrating now, but they weren’t. At least, no one from the SGC was. The price for victory had been far too high. Daniel was dead, having sacrificed himself to destroy the Priors’ link to the power harnessed by the Ori. He was gone, and they all knew that this time, there was no coming back. Death had finally sunk its teeth into him, and it had no intention of letting go.
Sam had lost track of how long she’d been here, lying in her bed. Was it days? Weeks? Months? Was it morning, noon, or night? She couldn’t tell. Her windows had been covered, blocking out any light that might come through and break the darkness.
She hadn’t been left in complete solitude by any means. Teal’c had visited her, and Cam too. Jack had come in, though his voice had been thick with his own grief when he had spoken to her. He had also brought Cassandra to talk to her. Nonetheless, Sam hadn’t answered any of them. She didn’t have the strength to talk, to reassure them. Cassie hadn’t been able to replicate her childhood feat of bringing her out of her misery. The good soldier had fought for too long, and didn’t have the will to fight anymore.
Vala had come in too, but unlike the men, she had been silent. Sam’s conscience had reminded her that Vala was also suffering. She had trusted Daniel and let him close to her when she kept the rest of them at arm’s length. Still, neither of them had said a word to each other, and eventually, the former thief left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.
Sometimes, Sam dreamed. Sometimes, she saw people long dead, like her parents, Martouf, or Janet. Sometimes even Daniel was with them, his arm wrapped loosely around the waist of a woman she recognized from pictures as Sha’re. He looked younger and happier than she’d ever seen him.
Wishful thinking, she knew. Sam was a scientist. The idea of there actually being a heaven of some kind didn’t hold true to that. All that mattered in the end was that Daniel, a great man, a wonderful friend who had sacrificed more than anyone should ever have had to, was dead and gone for good.
At that moment, Sam heard the door to her room open. She took it as meaning that the rest of the team had arrived for their daily visit. She wondered if everyone was here. General O’Neill had gone back to Washington last week, but had promised to come back as soon as possible, she recalled.
“Sam, get up.”
Vala? Vala was never the first to come into her room. More often than not, she was one of the last, as though she had been sent by the men as a last resort.
“Sam, enough of this. Get up.”
Enough? Enough-
Vala had apparently decided to use methods a little more forceful, because Sam suddenly found her warm little cocoon of blankets pulled from her body, exposing her bare legs and arms to the cool, air-conditioned air. She groaned and reached out, grasping the edge of the blankets again and yanking them back over her. There, much better.
She heard Vala sigh and leave, though she did not hear the door snap shut. She didn’t care. She’d close it later, when she gathered enough energy to go to the bathroom. Sam knew that Vala was probably only trying to help, in her own flamboyant way, but right now, Sam didn’t want help. She just wanted to be able to lie where she was and mourn what she had lost.
While lying there, Sam could faintly hear voices outside her room. One had the sultry, velvet tones-Vala-while the other was male, and sounded unsure.
“Vala, that might not be the best-”
“We’ve tried everything else.”
“Indeed. Stand aside, Colonel Mitchell.” That was definitely Teal’c.
Silence fell again, and Sam dismissed what she had heard. She didn’t want to think about what was going on outside the room right-
The ice-cold water came out of nowhere, and her blankets offered her no protection. She shrieked and bolted out of bed, looking around wildly. There, to her left, stood Vala. She was holding an empty bucket that Sam usually used when she mopped her floors.
Sam blinked rapidly, her synapses firing as she struggled to comprehend just what had happened. “What-”
“There,” Vala interrupted, “now you have an excuse to get up. I dare say that bed will not be habitable for a good while.”
Sam narrowed her eyes. “Vala, what do you think you’re doing?”
“Forcing you to look beyond the cave of your own despair, Samantha. I do believe you have wallowed in it for quite long enough.” Vala’s expression grew just as heated as Sam’s tone had been. “You are not the only one grieving. We loved Daniel too. General O’Neill is in just as much pain as you are, and now he’s been forced to watch you slip further and further away. Enough with this selfishness.”
Sam glared at the other woman, and then at the men standing in the doorway. “You two actually let her do that?” she demanded.
Cameron had the grace to look a little apologetic, but he still just shrugged. Teal’c only stared at her with his normal inexpressive gaze, saying nothing.
“Colonel, Teal’c,” Vala said. “I think Samantha and I need some time alone.”
Her words were clearly enough for Cameron, and he nearly stumbled in his haste as he threw his goodbyes to Sam over his shoulder. Teal’c, of course, bowed his head cordially enough, and followed the colonel out of the house. The two women stood in silence, listening to the car outside starting and then driving off.
“Why are you still here?” Sam asked bitterly.
“Because,” Vala replied, dropping the bucket. She nudged Sam over to sit down on the soaked bed and joined her a moment later. She raised one hand to cup Sam’s chin, her other hand reaching for Sam’s hand and clasping it. Nothing further was said.
Sam eventually left the bed again, and Vala kept her so busy afterward that she didn’t have time to think about going into the other bedroom and crawling into that bed.
One year to the day after Daniel died, Sam had been assigned to Atlantis. Doctor Weir was still on Earth recuperating from the injuries she’d sustained, and was not yet up to returning to her duties full time, so Sam had been given command of the city until she was.
The Gate was activated and Sam looked up. She’d been trying to distract herself from the date by working the new data concerning ZPM construction in the office-still couldn’t think of it as hers. Standing up, she walked across the bridge and into the control room.
“We’re receiving Earth’s IDC, Colonel,” Sergeant Campbell reported.
Used to the man whose efficiency rivaled Walter Harriman’s, Sam only nodded. “Open the shield.”
She looked down into the Gate room, watching as the event horizon rippled and a familiar figure stepped through. Sam blinked, surprised, but then smiled a little and moved to walk down the stairs.
“Vala!”
The other woman, clad in her black uniform and her hair in her customary pigtails, grinned at her while shifting her small duffel bag-matching her uniform, of course-from one shoulder to the other. “Hello, Samantha,” she said.
“I thought you were helping SG-18 with an old temple belonging to Qetesh.” The unspoken ‘I thought you wouldn’t be here’ was still palpable.
Vala shook her head. “The world is in the last part of its wet season, which makes it difficult to do very much. General Landry postponed the mission for a week or two.” She smirked. “The boys were most disappointed.”
Sam rolled her eyes. “Come on,” she said. “I’m sure we have some guest quarters available for you.”
The hours passed and Sam was busy for most of it. Vala had been to Atlantis only once before, and had been looked forward to a more thorough sweep of the place. Sam showed her many things, such as the excellent view of the city and ocean from all angles, and the deserted north pier which was perfect for privacy. Sam even showed her several of the large bedrooms that existed beyond the little alcoves that lay within the vicinity of the control room. Some of them had not even been cleared yet, and there were still personal articles that had remained there since the Ancients had abandoned Atlantis.
Vala looked like she was enjoying herself, but Sam thought she knew the ex-thief well enough to see the faint look of pain behind her eyes. She didn’t call her on it, because Sam understood what she was likely thinking.
Daniel had only been to Atlantis once. He had always wanted to come for a thorough search of the city. Both women knew that many of the things they had seen that day would have been appreciated far more by him than by them.
His loss still hurt Sam. She lived with that pain everyday, and she knew Vala did too. She knew that was why Vala had come, to keep their shared pain at bay. Vala had been the one to pull Sam out of the dust, and to force her to keep walking. Now she was there to keep them both going on the day when their pain was at its most raw.
That evening, Sam gathered up a few dishes and carried them out to the north pier, where she and Vala ate their meal in solitude, away from the bustle of the city.
“So,” she asked after a lengthy silence, “what are the boys up to?”
Vala tilted her head slightly as she struggled to cut her meat without spilling her plate’s contents. “Cameron’s on leave, visiting his parents,” she said. Smirking, she added, “I told him to tell his parents that I’d dumped him for someone who I could actually have a bond and sex with.”
Sam shook her head. “And Teal’c?”
“With Bra’tac, Ry’ac, and his daughter-in-law. Apparently, the young couple is expecting their first child. Teal’c’s already bought the toy store out of baby toys.”
Sam laughed and made a note to get Ry’ac and his wife a present for the baby. Silence fell again, and while it wasn’t awkward, the specter of what the day represented was clearly making its presence felt.
Eventually, Vala finished her meal and set the plate down. She scooted over to Sam and draped her long legs and bare feet over the side, letting the waves leap up and splash her when they crashed against the pier. She sat so close to her that their thighs brushed up against one another every time either woman so much as shifted. Sam found it a little odd, but not uncomfortable.
They sat together in silence for a while, having run out of things to say. After the sun finally began to set, they picked up the remains of their meal and moved back into the central area of the city. The hall consisting of the guest quarters was deserted.
Sam reached out and touched Vala’s arm briefly. “Thanks, Vala.” She didn’t say what for, but didn’t doubt that the other woman understood. She started to remove her hand, but was halted when Vala reached out and caught it with her own.
Sam watched, mesmerized, as Vala pulled her hand up to her cheek, molding it to her skin. Vala then turned her head, letting her lips brush just a little over her palm. The intimate touch was electric, spiking through Sam’s body.
“You’re welcome, Sam.”
Two years after Daniel died, Sam and Vala visited his grave together. Sam was pretty sure that Vala went there more often on her own, but though they shared much these days, each still had things that remained private and separate from each other. Sam didn’t begrudge Vala what solace she might find here.
The marker was a simple one, with his name on it and the words ‘Treasured Friend, You Will Be Missed’ engraved below it. There was a small pot filled with lilies on its right. Vala had told her that someone replaced the old flowers with fresh ones regularly.
The area of Daniel’s burial had been well-chosen. It was in a shaded area of the large cemetery, just off to the left of a large tree. It was a cozy little spot, and Sam even felt comfortable sitting down in the grass just in front of the marker.
“Hey, Daniel,” she said softly, tracing the letters with her finger and wondering at how she didn’t feel silly for talking to a grave. Sam remembered very clearly feeling like an idiot when she had tried to do so at her mother’s grave. Maybe it was because she was older now, or maybe it was because Vala had seated herself behind her, resting her chin on Sam’s left shoulder and wrapping her arms around Sam loosely. Sam glanced at her, confused, but Vala just smiled.
“I’ve told Daniel all about us,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “I dare say he’s very happy for us both.”
Sam blinked, but just smiled a little and shook her head. “Okay then.” She turned back to the marker. “I guess you probably know everything I could tell you about the others, if Vala comes here so often. Probably even more than I know.” Sam laughed when Vala nudged her, but then schooled her face into a more serious expression. “Seriously, Daniel, I miss you a lot, just as much as I did two years ago, when… well, I was in a dark, dark place for a while. But Vala pulled me out, just like you probably would have if things had been different.”
Vala tightened her arms, and Sam reached up to rub them with one hand and to cup her cheek in the other. Recognizing the gesture, Vala turned her head and kissed her palm. Staying like that, despite the awkward position, Sam turned back.
“I wish I could think of more to say, Daniel,” she said. She stopped as she felt her throat tightening up just a bit.
“It’s all right,” Vala said softly. “I think he knows. He had an annoying habit of always knowing.”
Sam laughed away the instinct to cry. “I don’t think anyone will argue with that.” She turned her head again and pushed Vala with her hand just enough so that their lips would meet in a brief kiss.
Things were okay.
Author: angelqueen04
Rating: PG
Spoilers: vague ones for Season 10 and the movies.
Warnings: off-screen character death
Recipient: meeshy
Prompt: Grief is the agony of an instant, the indulgence of grief the blunder of a life. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881)
Pairings: Sam/Vala, Daniel/Sam friendship, Daniel/Vala friendship
Author’s Notes: For the Samantha Carter mini ficathon at sg_femslash. Many thanks to havocthecat for her excellent beta job. :)
Eight weeks after Daniel died, Sam wished it would rain. Rain until there was a huge flood, washing everything away, and leaving nothing but destruction in its wake. God had supposedly done it before, when he had Noah build his ark, so why not now? Surely it was only right that someone care, react, anything, to Daniel’s death.
The Ori were dead, Adria was dead, and now their army had been defeated. They should all be celebrating now, but they weren’t. At least, no one from the SGC was. The price for victory had been far too high. Daniel was dead, having sacrificed himself to destroy the Priors’ link to the power harnessed by the Ori. He was gone, and they all knew that this time, there was no coming back. Death had finally sunk its teeth into him, and it had no intention of letting go.
Sam had lost track of how long she’d been here, lying in her bed. Was it days? Weeks? Months? Was it morning, noon, or night? She couldn’t tell. Her windows had been covered, blocking out any light that might come through and break the darkness.
She hadn’t been left in complete solitude by any means. Teal’c had visited her, and Cam too. Jack had come in, though his voice had been thick with his own grief when he had spoken to her. He had also brought Cassandra to talk to her. Nonetheless, Sam hadn’t answered any of them. She didn’t have the strength to talk, to reassure them. Cassie hadn’t been able to replicate her childhood feat of bringing her out of her misery. The good soldier had fought for too long, and didn’t have the will to fight anymore.
Vala had come in too, but unlike the men, she had been silent. Sam’s conscience had reminded her that Vala was also suffering. She had trusted Daniel and let him close to her when she kept the rest of them at arm’s length. Still, neither of them had said a word to each other, and eventually, the former thief left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.
Sometimes, Sam dreamed. Sometimes, she saw people long dead, like her parents, Martouf, or Janet. Sometimes even Daniel was with them, his arm wrapped loosely around the waist of a woman she recognized from pictures as Sha’re. He looked younger and happier than she’d ever seen him.
Wishful thinking, she knew. Sam was a scientist. The idea of there actually being a heaven of some kind didn’t hold true to that. All that mattered in the end was that Daniel, a great man, a wonderful friend who had sacrificed more than anyone should ever have had to, was dead and gone for good.
At that moment, Sam heard the door to her room open. She took it as meaning that the rest of the team had arrived for their daily visit. She wondered if everyone was here. General O’Neill had gone back to Washington last week, but had promised to come back as soon as possible, she recalled.
“Sam, get up.”
Vala? Vala was never the first to come into her room. More often than not, she was one of the last, as though she had been sent by the men as a last resort.
“Sam, enough of this. Get up.”
Enough? Enough-
Vala had apparently decided to use methods a little more forceful, because Sam suddenly found her warm little cocoon of blankets pulled from her body, exposing her bare legs and arms to the cool, air-conditioned air. She groaned and reached out, grasping the edge of the blankets again and yanking them back over her. There, much better.
She heard Vala sigh and leave, though she did not hear the door snap shut. She didn’t care. She’d close it later, when she gathered enough energy to go to the bathroom. Sam knew that Vala was probably only trying to help, in her own flamboyant way, but right now, Sam didn’t want help. She just wanted to be able to lie where she was and mourn what she had lost.
While lying there, Sam could faintly hear voices outside her room. One had the sultry, velvet tones-Vala-while the other was male, and sounded unsure.
“Vala, that might not be the best-”
“We’ve tried everything else.”
“Indeed. Stand aside, Colonel Mitchell.” That was definitely Teal’c.
Silence fell again, and Sam dismissed what she had heard. She didn’t want to think about what was going on outside the room right-
The ice-cold water came out of nowhere, and her blankets offered her no protection. She shrieked and bolted out of bed, looking around wildly. There, to her left, stood Vala. She was holding an empty bucket that Sam usually used when she mopped her floors.
Sam blinked rapidly, her synapses firing as she struggled to comprehend just what had happened. “What-”
“There,” Vala interrupted, “now you have an excuse to get up. I dare say that bed will not be habitable for a good while.”
Sam narrowed her eyes. “Vala, what do you think you’re doing?”
“Forcing you to look beyond the cave of your own despair, Samantha. I do believe you have wallowed in it for quite long enough.” Vala’s expression grew just as heated as Sam’s tone had been. “You are not the only one grieving. We loved Daniel too. General O’Neill is in just as much pain as you are, and now he’s been forced to watch you slip further and further away. Enough with this selfishness.”
Sam glared at the other woman, and then at the men standing in the doorway. “You two actually let her do that?” she demanded.
Cameron had the grace to look a little apologetic, but he still just shrugged. Teal’c only stared at her with his normal inexpressive gaze, saying nothing.
“Colonel, Teal’c,” Vala said. “I think Samantha and I need some time alone.”
Her words were clearly enough for Cameron, and he nearly stumbled in his haste as he threw his goodbyes to Sam over his shoulder. Teal’c, of course, bowed his head cordially enough, and followed the colonel out of the house. The two women stood in silence, listening to the car outside starting and then driving off.
“Why are you still here?” Sam asked bitterly.
“Because,” Vala replied, dropping the bucket. She nudged Sam over to sit down on the soaked bed and joined her a moment later. She raised one hand to cup Sam’s chin, her other hand reaching for Sam’s hand and clasping it. Nothing further was said.
Sam eventually left the bed again, and Vala kept her so busy afterward that she didn’t have time to think about going into the other bedroom and crawling into that bed.
One year to the day after Daniel died, Sam had been assigned to Atlantis. Doctor Weir was still on Earth recuperating from the injuries she’d sustained, and was not yet up to returning to her duties full time, so Sam had been given command of the city until she was.
The Gate was activated and Sam looked up. She’d been trying to distract herself from the date by working the new data concerning ZPM construction in the office-still couldn’t think of it as hers. Standing up, she walked across the bridge and into the control room.
“We’re receiving Earth’s IDC, Colonel,” Sergeant Campbell reported.
Used to the man whose efficiency rivaled Walter Harriman’s, Sam only nodded. “Open the shield.”
She looked down into the Gate room, watching as the event horizon rippled and a familiar figure stepped through. Sam blinked, surprised, but then smiled a little and moved to walk down the stairs.
“Vala!”
The other woman, clad in her black uniform and her hair in her customary pigtails, grinned at her while shifting her small duffel bag-matching her uniform, of course-from one shoulder to the other. “Hello, Samantha,” she said.
“I thought you were helping SG-18 with an old temple belonging to Qetesh.” The unspoken ‘I thought you wouldn’t be here’ was still palpable.
Vala shook her head. “The world is in the last part of its wet season, which makes it difficult to do very much. General Landry postponed the mission for a week or two.” She smirked. “The boys were most disappointed.”
Sam rolled her eyes. “Come on,” she said. “I’m sure we have some guest quarters available for you.”
The hours passed and Sam was busy for most of it. Vala had been to Atlantis only once before, and had been looked forward to a more thorough sweep of the place. Sam showed her many things, such as the excellent view of the city and ocean from all angles, and the deserted north pier which was perfect for privacy. Sam even showed her several of the large bedrooms that existed beyond the little alcoves that lay within the vicinity of the control room. Some of them had not even been cleared yet, and there were still personal articles that had remained there since the Ancients had abandoned Atlantis.
Vala looked like she was enjoying herself, but Sam thought she knew the ex-thief well enough to see the faint look of pain behind her eyes. She didn’t call her on it, because Sam understood what she was likely thinking.
Daniel had only been to Atlantis once. He had always wanted to come for a thorough search of the city. Both women knew that many of the things they had seen that day would have been appreciated far more by him than by them.
His loss still hurt Sam. She lived with that pain everyday, and she knew Vala did too. She knew that was why Vala had come, to keep their shared pain at bay. Vala had been the one to pull Sam out of the dust, and to force her to keep walking. Now she was there to keep them both going on the day when their pain was at its most raw.
That evening, Sam gathered up a few dishes and carried them out to the north pier, where she and Vala ate their meal in solitude, away from the bustle of the city.
“So,” she asked after a lengthy silence, “what are the boys up to?”
Vala tilted her head slightly as she struggled to cut her meat without spilling her plate’s contents. “Cameron’s on leave, visiting his parents,” she said. Smirking, she added, “I told him to tell his parents that I’d dumped him for someone who I could actually have a bond and sex with.”
Sam shook her head. “And Teal’c?”
“With Bra’tac, Ry’ac, and his daughter-in-law. Apparently, the young couple is expecting their first child. Teal’c’s already bought the toy store out of baby toys.”
Sam laughed and made a note to get Ry’ac and his wife a present for the baby. Silence fell again, and while it wasn’t awkward, the specter of what the day represented was clearly making its presence felt.
Eventually, Vala finished her meal and set the plate down. She scooted over to Sam and draped her long legs and bare feet over the side, letting the waves leap up and splash her when they crashed against the pier. She sat so close to her that their thighs brushed up against one another every time either woman so much as shifted. Sam found it a little odd, but not uncomfortable.
They sat together in silence for a while, having run out of things to say. After the sun finally began to set, they picked up the remains of their meal and moved back into the central area of the city. The hall consisting of the guest quarters was deserted.
Sam reached out and touched Vala’s arm briefly. “Thanks, Vala.” She didn’t say what for, but didn’t doubt that the other woman understood. She started to remove her hand, but was halted when Vala reached out and caught it with her own.
Sam watched, mesmerized, as Vala pulled her hand up to her cheek, molding it to her skin. Vala then turned her head, letting her lips brush just a little over her palm. The intimate touch was electric, spiking through Sam’s body.
“You’re welcome, Sam.”
Two years after Daniel died, Sam and Vala visited his grave together. Sam was pretty sure that Vala went there more often on her own, but though they shared much these days, each still had things that remained private and separate from each other. Sam didn’t begrudge Vala what solace she might find here.
The marker was a simple one, with his name on it and the words ‘Treasured Friend, You Will Be Missed’ engraved below it. There was a small pot filled with lilies on its right. Vala had told her that someone replaced the old flowers with fresh ones regularly.
The area of Daniel’s burial had been well-chosen. It was in a shaded area of the large cemetery, just off to the left of a large tree. It was a cozy little spot, and Sam even felt comfortable sitting down in the grass just in front of the marker.
“Hey, Daniel,” she said softly, tracing the letters with her finger and wondering at how she didn’t feel silly for talking to a grave. Sam remembered very clearly feeling like an idiot when she had tried to do so at her mother’s grave. Maybe it was because she was older now, or maybe it was because Vala had seated herself behind her, resting her chin on Sam’s left shoulder and wrapping her arms around Sam loosely. Sam glanced at her, confused, but Vala just smiled.
“I’ve told Daniel all about us,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “I dare say he’s very happy for us both.”
Sam blinked, but just smiled a little and shook her head. “Okay then.” She turned back to the marker. “I guess you probably know everything I could tell you about the others, if Vala comes here so often. Probably even more than I know.” Sam laughed when Vala nudged her, but then schooled her face into a more serious expression. “Seriously, Daniel, I miss you a lot, just as much as I did two years ago, when… well, I was in a dark, dark place for a while. But Vala pulled me out, just like you probably would have if things had been different.”
Vala tightened her arms, and Sam reached up to rub them with one hand and to cup her cheek in the other. Recognizing the gesture, Vala turned her head and kissed her palm. Staying like that, despite the awkward position, Sam turned back.
“I wish I could think of more to say, Daniel,” she said. She stopped as she felt her throat tightening up just a bit.
“It’s all right,” Vala said softly. “I think he knows. He had an annoying habit of always knowing.”
Sam laughed away the instinct to cry. “I don’t think anyone will argue with that.” She turned her head again and pushed Vala with her hand just enough so that their lips would meet in a brief kiss.
Things were okay.