019. without
Spoilers: 4.07 Caged Angel, 1.04 Angels in Chains
I pick up her favorite blue sweater from the floor of my bedroom and bring it to my nose. It still smells like her, a combination of flowers and vanilla, uniquely Kris. I sit down on my bed, wondering if she's alright tonight.
The sweater was discarded last night and forgotten this morning, and now I'm thankful she decided to borrow a blouse from me today. This sweater is the only thing I have of her, all I've got to get me through the fear I have for her safety.
I begged her last night not to do it, not to go, to call Charlie and tell him she decided it was too risky. I remembered when I had gone in, just how close Sabrina, Jill and I had come to losing it all in that prison. I shiver, praying her situation doesn't come close to that. I couldn't live without her.
She had placed her finger against my lips, stopping my pleas, and put her lips to my neck in an attempt to distract me from listing every reason why taking this case was a bad idea. I gave in, knowing that she had made up her mind. I decided then to make that night one she would never forget, something that could keep her warm even within the dank walls of that prison. I hope it is tonight.
I remember Charlie's words from yesterday, that whoever goes into that prison, might find themselves having a hard time getting out. I trust Kris- she's a brilliant detective- but I can't help but give in for a moment to the dark thought that Charlie's words might prove true. I've never been quite the optimist that she is. I feel a tear fall down my cheek and quickly wipe it away.
No, she needs me to be strong. I sigh, pulling her sweater over my head, letting it give me the comfort I so desperately need. I lay my head down on the pillow she used last night, her fragrance enveloping me. Still, it feels like something's missing.
"She'll be okay," I whisper as I feel sleep beckon me and let my eyes fall closed.