Double Occupancy: Chapter 1
Masterpost
Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three
Jimmy wasn’t sure how much time had passed since Castiel had forced his soul to sleep. The last thing he’d seen was Claire possessed by the angel. Then he’d seen bright white light followed by the warmth of Castiel’s Grace enveloping his soul and pushing it down into a deep state of unconsciousness. In his dreamlike condition, his perception of time had been severely altered, to the point that it could have been hours or centuries since he’d begged for Castiel to vacate his daughter and take him as a vessel instead. He really didn’t know.
But now he was awake… sort of.
The first thing he saw when he began to wake up was his own reflection in a small bathroom mirror. Only it wasn’t really himself. There were two huge black wings behind him and that was one of he most startling sights he’d ever seen. He knew he was still possessed. And yet he was awake and very much aware of the world around him. Something was wrong.
“Castiel,” he tried to say, but the stern expression in the mirror didn’t move an inch.
“You’re with me,” Castiel responded, and finally those lips began to move. “That’s good.” Jimmy had no idea how he was supposed to respond to him. He couldn’t exactly talk. He had no control at all. It was incredibly alarming and he had no idea what to do. “I can hear you, Jimmy. I just… I thought it might be easier for us to communicate if you could see me.”
“You can… you can hear me?” Jimmy calmed only slightly, but the surreal nature of the whole situation still had him on edge. “I can just…. just think at you?”
“Yes.” Castiel could feel Jimmy’s discomfort. “Would you prefer that we move away from the mirror?”
“No… I mean… maybe. It’s just weird to see myself with those…”
“My wings?” Castiel let them flutter slightly.
“Yeah.”
“If it is too much for you I can look elsewhere. The wall perhaps.”
Jimmy mulled over it for a moment, but as strange as this was, he decided it only made sense to look at the person he was talking to - even if that person was wearing his skin. Staring at a wall instead would be more difficult because he’d be basically, well, talking to a wall instead of the angel that possessed him. It was the least weird situation available to him and he decided to roll with it. “No, I’ll be ok. Why am I…?”
“Awake? We have things we need to discuss.”
“What more do you need from me? I’ve given you everything already.”
“I want to give you an opportunity to back out of our arrangement.”
“What? Why?”
“Circumstances have… um, changed.”
“The apocalypse is over?” Castiel looked down at the sink in shame, but he quickly realized that it defeated the purpose of standing in front of the mirror. When he looked back up, the distress on his face, on their face was evident. “What’s wrong, Castiel? What happened?”
“I’ve rebelled.” Castiel felt Jimmy’s shock, doubt, and utter confusion at his words, so he quickly continued hoping that an explanation would put him more at ease. “I’ve decided that the apocalypse is not the best choice for this planet. I love humanity too much to let it all end. Due to my rebellion I’m… I’m beginning to fall.” Castiel felt Jimmy’s mind drifting to Lucifer and beginning to compare to two. “I am nothing like Lucifer!”
Jimmy felt Castiel’s righteous fury spread throughout his body and for the first time since he’d said yes to the creature, he felt frightened of him. Angels were fierce - Jimmy knew this - but feeling it ripple through his body was more than he could stand. He pulled his soul back as far as he could in an attempt to hide from the overpowering energy coursing through their shared body. His vision of the being standing in the mirror began to fade and Jimmy felt sleep creeping upon him, but he couldn’t quite reach it on his own. Castiel was keeping him awake, forcing him to stay conscious even though it was the last thing he wanted in that moment.
Suddenly his face relaxed in the mirror, and Jimmy could feel Castiel’s voiceless apology. Castiel caressed Jimmy's soul and coaxed it forward. Jimmy complied; the warmth of the angel's Grace was surprisingly comforting.
“If I back out… will you take Claire?”
“No, if you back out, I will leave your vessel and I will die. My Grace is dwindling. In a few months I will be completely powerless and if I do not have a vessel I will disappear from existence.”
“But if you stay…”
“If I stay, you and I will be sharing this vessel for as long as we remain alive. Upon our death, you will undoubtedly go to Heaven.”
“And you?”
“I will disappear from existence. There is no afterlife for angels.”
Jimmy was horrified at the thought. If Castiel died, that was it. No afterlife. That was the end.
“You lose either way, don’t you.”
“If I stay, I have an opportunity to stop the apocalypse. I just want you to understand this.”
“Castiel, I know. I know. But… but is it not God’s will? Didn’t he plan this?”
Castiel closed his eyes and all Jimmy had to go by was the waiver in the angel’s voice.
“I do not want to shake your faith, Jimmy. I still believe in my Father. I still have faith in Him. But I do not believe the apocalypse is His will. Nobody…” Castiel sighed. It was so incredibly human that, for a moment, Jimmy actually forgot he was communicating with an angel. “Nobody has seen God in a very long time. He seems to be taking a, uh, ‘hands off’ approach to the matter.” Castiel felt Jimmy’s faith in God slipping, anger and frustration bubbling up within him over the entire situation. Jimmy was doubtful. “Jimmy, don’t. Please don’t lose your faith in my Father. I haven’t.”
“I don’t mean to. I really don’t. It’s just… everything I’ve believed in for my entire life…”
“Jimmy, you and I are more alike than you could possible imagine. Only my life has been significantly longer than yours. I have had faith in my Father for thousands of years before you were ever created. But please, Jimmy, let me stay. Help me stop the apocalypse. Help us. Without you, the Winchesters will be on their own in this and…”
“The Winchesters? You’re still with them?” Jimmy’s interaction with the Winchesters had been minimal. In the brief time they’d known each other, Jimmy hadn’t been able to get much of a read on their relationship. He knew the Winchesters and Castiel had been close, but he wasn’t sure how close.
“They are actually why I rebelled. They are vessels, like you. Only they are vessels for Michael and Lucifer…”
“What?!”
“…and if Michael and Lucifer take their vessels, the world will be destroyed as they do battle on the chosen field.”
Jimmy went silent. Castiel could sense Jimmy’s mind racing, but it was unable to form a single coherent thought. Jimmy was debating back and forth about what he should do. There was so much conflict churning within him that Castiel was truly afraid that he’d be cast out from his vessel. Jimmy’s thoughts bounced from his family to his faith to the world at large and through a million other thoughts related to the matter at hand.
Then finally Jimmy spoke.
“Will my family still be safe regardless of what I choose?”
“Of course. Heaven will not back out of their promise to you. This choice is between us. They are safe no matter what you choose. My rebellion has nothing to do with you.”
There was a brief moment of silence again.
“Then… then stay.”
Castiel nodded into the mirror and smiled to the best of his ability. Jimmy could tell the angel hadn’t had much practice with the gesture, but he appreciated the effort.
“Thank you, Jimmy. I am truly grateful for your support.”
And then Jimmy felt himself falling asleep again. The mirror in front of him faded and he found himself back in the unconscious corners of his own mind.
-
When Jimmy began to wake up again, it was less controlled than before. Instead of a slow awakening, it was sudden and painful. Castiel was walking in a park with the Winchesters when it happened. Each Winchester was holding a shotgun and scanning the area as though he was hunting something. Something obviously very dangerous. Jimmy knew enough about them that he could tell this wasn’t a simple deer hunt. This was certainly not the way he wanted to wake up. He wanted to wake up somewhere safe and quiet and peaceful. He wanted to wake up with all of the horrors of the Apocalypse over and done with. But that just wasn’t going to be an option for him.
Castiel reached out and clutched Dean’s arm. “Dean!”
The hunter turned to look at him, concern evident on his face. Sam stopped and turned too, but kept scouring their surroundings for whatever creature they were looking for. Dean turned around and placed his hands on Cas’ shoulders. “Cas, what’s wrong?”
“It’s Jimmy,” he said as he leaned on Dean for support. “He’s… he’s waking up.”
Jimmy still couldn’t control his own body yet, but he could feel it. He could feel Dean’s hands on his shoulders as he struggled to keep Castiel standing upright. He could feel Castiel shaking and his heart racing. Castiel was panicking, desperate to maintain control long enough to get somewhere safe.
“Already? Jesus, Cas. I thought we’d have a few weeks.”
“As did I.” Castiel felt Jimmy’s regret over the situation. “Do not apologize for things that you cannot control. This body is yours and I am grateful for the time I’ve been given.”
“Are you talking to Jimmy?”
“Yes,” Castiel said shortly. “He’s present right now. He’s… he feels regretful.”
“Jimmy,” Dean said as he lifted Cas’ face until their eyes met. “Don’t you for a second feel bad. This isn’t your fault. You’ve been tougher than most people would in this situation.” Dean paused and looked back to his brother. “We should get them back to the motel room. The hunt can wait until tomorrow.”
Sam nodded and the three of them, four of them, headed back to the Impala abandoning whatever creature they’d been tracking.
-
When they got back the motel, Dean helped Castiel get as comfortable as possible, settling him in with his back against the headboard. Dean sat down beside him as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Castiel leaned towards Dean and Jimmy could feel the heat of the hunter’s body next to his own. Though he didn’t have any control over his body, he could feel it. And it felt… nice. It was reassuring to have someone close as he began to reconnect with his sense. Even if he didn’t know Dean all that well, he appreciated having him nearby.
Every second that passed, Jimmy could feel the world around him just a little more vividly. He could feel the fabric of his clothing, the hard mattress below him, and he could smell the musty scent of the dirty motel room. But it still didn’t feel quite real.
“It’s gonna be alright,” Dean said as he grabbed the remote from the nightstand. “We’re just gonna sit here and let this play out for a while, okay? Just gonna watch some TV… it’s gonna be alright.”
At some point during the evening Castiel rested his head in Dean’s lap as they watched some random documentary on the History Channel. It was the fourth one in a row and over the course of the past several hours neither of them had dared to speak. Dean ran his fingers through Castiel’s hair in an attempt to soothe him, which surprisingly had a calming effect on Jimmy as well.
Jimmy could feel his body just as clearly now as he had before he let Cas in. It was so real he decided to take that opportunity to try and control it.
“Dean…”
“Yeah Cas?”
“N-no… it’s Jimmy.” Dean’s hand stopped in his hair and Jimmy turned his head to look up at him. “Please don’t stop… please... I need to feel.”
Dean hesitantly continued playing with Cas’, no, Jimmy’s hair. “Is… is Cas still in there?”
“I’m here, Dean.” The transition between the two was smooth, and Dean wasn’t quite sure where one ended and the other began. Cas’ voice was deeper, but other than that there was no audible difference between the two.
“This is weird,” Dean said, finally relaxing back into a rhythm with their hair.
“It’s weirder for us,” they said, the voice catching in a strange place between their two unique pitches. They hadn’t exactly planned for it, but somehow they’d both agreed on what words to say and it came out of their mouth with equal parts of effort from the both of them.
“How will I know who I’m talking to?”
“Just assume you are talking to the both of us.”
“Well, what the hell should I call you? Cas or Jimmy?”
“Either… Both.”
“Am I going to offend you, Jimmy, if I keep calling you Cas? I mean, it’s just a habit at this point. I look at you and I think ‘Cas.’”
“No, I understand,” Jimmy responded, his voice raising in pitch ever so slightly. “But can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why do you call him ‘Cas’ instead of ‘Castiel?’”
Dean laughed. “Well, at first it was just because I give everyone a nickname regardless of how important they think they are…”
“Even angels?”
“Even angels. But now? Well, he’s my best friend. It’s what I’ve always called him. It’d seem strange to use his full name now even if… even if I respect him more now than I did then.”
Cas smiled. “You are always so difficult, Dean. That’s why I love you…” Jimmy suddenly took full control of the vessel and they sat up from Dean’s lap. There was a look of panic in his eyes as he stared at Dean. He felt the complete adoration that Cas felt. He felt the love. It was like the love he felt for Amelia and it was so overwhelming Jimmy wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“Whoa, Jimmy, calm down, man. Just relax.” Dean put his hands on Jimmy’s shoulders.
“You two are in love?” Castiel wanted to seize control from Jimmy again, but when Dean seemed to step up and take control Castiel relaxed. He wanted to help Jimmy understand, but things were difficult enough as it was and he didn’t want to add a battle for the vessel to it.
“Yes, but you don’t need to freak out about it.”
“Don’t freak out?! Have you two had sex? With MY body?”
“Not yet, no.” When Jimmy’s eyes went wide, Dean obviously realized how horrible that sounded and quickly tried to correct himself. “I mean no, and we won’t. We kind of have this whole apocalypse thing to worry about, you know? We hardly ever have a minute to ourselves anyway.”
“But if you did have a minute to yourselves?”
Dean shut his eyes and sighed. “I know how horrible this sounds, but…”
“Dean, I’m a Christian still, even after all of this!”
Just then Castiel decided to take over again. He couldn’t let this go on without saying his piece. “No, Jimmy, you need to understand something. God is not and never will be against love.” Cas kept his eyes on Dean as he talked to Jimmy. It was only appropriate to look at Dean while discussing such matters of the heart. He knew that Jimmy was aware of everything he felt about the man in front of them and he only hoped that it helped convey how important this was to him. And more importantly, he could feel what Castiel felt as he looked at him. He could feel it as though they were his own emotions even though he knew that wasn’t the case. “The fact that you are a male vessel or that Dean and I are unmarried does not make our love an abomination in God’s eyes. The fact that I’m an angel, or was an angel, however… that is frowned upon... though I suppose it might be too late to worry about that at this point.”
Jimmy took control again. “But I am married, Castiel.”
Dean cupped Jimmy’s face in his hands and caught his gaze again. It was clear that Jimmy was on the verge of a panic attack. “Hey, hey, hey, there is nothing to worry about. You aren’t cheating on your wife. We aren’t having sex and we prob-… we won’t be. Not unless you were ok with it, which you obviously aren’t but… we do love each other, ok? We just do…”
“I know,” Jimmy said, obviously distressed. He took a deep breath and repeated himself in a calmer manner. “I know.”
“Look-“ Dean was cut off when the other man leaned forward to kiss him on the lips. The kiss was far more chaste than anything he and Cas had shared in the past and he questioned who was in control of it. It was soft and tender and somewhat hesitant, but it was still loving and sweet. When he pulled back, Dean could tell that it was Jimmy who was in charge at that moment. He looked confused, but at peace. Then Jimmy began to speak again.
“Was… was that your first kiss? With Castiel? With us?”
“With Cas? No. With you? I guess so, right? Or is it the both of you… I don’t even know. I have a headache from this, honestly.”
“Us too.”
Dean rubbed his temples and contemplated the situation. The apocalypse. Michael’s vessel. Lucifer’s vessel. So much shit on his plate. But this? This he could handle. He just had to know what was going on from Jimmy’s side. “So why the hell did you kiss me if you’re freaking out about all of this?”
“I don’t know. Castiel wanted to and then I wanted to. This is all very confusing. Everything is muddled and mixing together… I just… I can’t…”
Jimmy’s eyes began to water and Dean pulled him close, shushing him in the process. “Shh, it’s ok. Whatever you are going through, I’m here for you, ok? Whatever you need, I’m here…”
There were a few moments of silence where they all just enjoyed the brief instant of peace. But then Jimmy hesitantly broke the quiet. “I think… I think we need sleep...”
“Want me to stay with you? Or do you want me to leave you two alone?”
Silence stretched on again and Dean worried he was going to end up in Sam's room for the night. Then Jimmy spoke. “Please… stay. Castiel feels better when you are here. I do too, I think.”
>Chapter 2>