My words are broken, the paper's torn. . .
Title: The Truth
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Gwen/Morgana
Written origionally in kinkme_merlin
The first time they touched was when Sister Gwen slapped her hard for her 'sinful' (beautiful) words and then ran crying to the chapel for she had shown anger and not humility and was thouroughly ashamed of herself.
She had not spoken for three days, when Sister Morgana came and kneeled beside her, clutching her rosary so hard her knuckles were white.
After an hour, she rose and offered her hand to Gwen.
Gwen took her hand. And thanked her. The Reverand Mother breathed a sigh of relief for her daughter.
A note left on Gwen's bed, accompanied by Morgana's rosary.
I would give Him up for you
Gwen picked it up and her lips tightened and she blinked hard.
She placed the note over a candle and put the remenants in the fire.
She couldn't tell if she was doing it to rid herself of the sin or to rid Morgana of the evidence.
She sat on a wooden chair by the fire with the Rosary in her hand, eyes shut, breathing, cleansing, the emotion surrounding her reactions to Morgana were too much, she couldn't take them. She shouldn't have them.
When she felt ready, she rose and walked to Morgana's room.
Morgana's hair cascaded around her face, framing it far more intricately than the habit. She opened the door, brush in hand. Her eyes opened in shock at seeing Gwens face and she motioned for her to enter.
Gwen's inner self rightiousness faltered. In the made-up-in-her-head scenario she had not been invited in.
Morgana offered Gwen her chair. Gwen sat.
She looked up at the woman in front of her. (without a habit, she was simply a woman dressed in black, still mourning her parents.) It took her a minute to decide what to say.
"I do not understand you."
Morgana smiled slightly in sadness and sympathy.
"And nor I you. And I do not understand God, for he has chosen to make something I love more than Him, and I love Him all the more for it."
"Sister -"
"Gwen." Morgana stepped forward and tilted her head awkwardly so that her lips touched Gwens'. She stepped back.
"Please, Sister. I came here for God and nothing -"
"You came here because your love was lost in battle and his fortunes lost in drink. And it was whilst you were here that God found you, and He let me find you." Morgana's fingertips brushed Gwen's jaw. Gwen's hands fluttered to Morgana's wrist, up her arm, to her waist.
And Gwen was standing, mouthes touching, Morgana's hair happily free, the hairbrush forgotten on the floor.
"This, this - " she was upset but made no move to stop Morgana's attention to her neck, now free of her own habit, "this is not part of life at the Abbey."
"And yet it is part of God's creation. Strange, huh?" Gwen could feel Morgana's smile on her collarbone, feel her fingers in her hair, and Oh! she had forgotten how long it had been since someone else touched her hair, her bare shoulder.
Days at the beach, bare skin and yet so little temptation among her friends.
Her loves fingers playing with her hair when she leant over him to give him a mug of tea, innocent yet no longer attainable.
And in the removal of the habits they were no longer nuns.
In the removal of the dress they were no longer grieving.
And between the simple covers of a bed used only for rest before another day of calm, Gwendolin discovered the true pleasures that life can bring, the true loves that can exist, the true emotion that the Reverand Mother hoped that they would attain, and the truest pleasure God created on this earth.