Maybe, Maybe, Maybe..
A day or so following the little incident at the pool, Sam still didn't feel 'right'. He hadn't had anymore 'episodes' since, but the skull-splitting migraine had lessened to a dull aching throb and just lingered.
Like it was just there to irritate him, to remind him that he and Dean didn't belong there, that they would have to get out. Even if that meant Dad would go back to being dead and they never saw any of these other people again. Even the ones he was beginning to really like.
There were perks about living in this place, maybe, but their appeal would lessen. Already Sam found he was fighting with himself because a part of him liked the idea of the place and what it promised. The kid in him that never really grew up. The kid, who had never been anywhere this nice in his whole life. The kid that recalled how his big brother would go hungry just to make sure he had food to eat on for a little while longer, when Dad was on a hunt and was gone for days longer then he promised to be. That kid that had been deprived of a normal life.
That little part of him thought he could stay here forever. That part of him wanted to. Maybe this place was unnatural, but there was no struggle here. No need to want. No worrying about having enough food, or virtually anything else. No cops, no reason to sneak around, or use false names, or pretend to be anything other than who he was.
There was all that appeal there, no doubting it.
But the other part of him... The hunter in himself, (because as much as he wanted to deny it, a part of him was a hunter and always would be.) the young man seeking redemption for things that had hardly been in his control.... That part of him took that static... That pain and lack of vision as a taunt and a reminder of what was happening outside this place.
Just because he was here didn't mean the outside world had stopped turning. There were still demons and other nasty things out there to hunt and kill, there were still people to save, and he felt like he was letting those people down by indulging in whatever this place truly was.
That ache that lingered was what reminded him of that. It was what made him quiet, brooding, and "not right" since his vision, or lack there of.
He found himself withdrawing a little. Taking information from Dean on the people he'd met. Taking notes Dad had been leaving for him in their room, when they couldn't seem to catch each other at the same time, and Sam focused on compiling the digital Dossier. Adding information to old entries, and creating new ones. A profile for each individual, physical statistics, first impressions, and any personal information they'd gathered on them. Such as their former occupations and any potential knowledge or skills they seemed to have. Whether or not they would be useful in getting out of this place and back to their respective lives.
It wasn't much, but at least it was something to occupy his time, something that might be useful in the long run.
He had wondered if maybe it was all pointless. Maybe they'd never get out. Maybe they'd just be trapped there indefinitely. And this hotel, whatever it really was, maybe it would eventually teach them to forget, coax them into not trying... not caring. There seemed to be some sentience about it. Which reasonably concerned him given the blocking of all contact on the outside. The lack of explanation for anything here. He just didn't understand this place at all. Why the hell did it lure them here and why wouldn't it let them leave?
Sam saved his work completed and logged out of the files he'd encrypted on the laptop before powering it down and closing it with a sigh.
Once he tucked it away, Sam forced himself to get up and leave his room. He needed to take a walk, clear his head of all this wondering and "what if"-ing. Dean had mentioned something about a gym.
According to his brother, it hadn't been there before.
Sam could over-think that, or he could go and let out some of his frustration there.
CONTINUE HERE...
Like it was just there to irritate him, to remind him that he and Dean didn't belong there, that they would have to get out. Even if that meant Dad would go back to being dead and they never saw any of these other people again. Even the ones he was beginning to really like.
There were perks about living in this place, maybe, but their appeal would lessen. Already Sam found he was fighting with himself because a part of him liked the idea of the place and what it promised. The kid in him that never really grew up. The kid, who had never been anywhere this nice in his whole life. The kid that recalled how his big brother would go hungry just to make sure he had food to eat on for a little while longer, when Dad was on a hunt and was gone for days longer then he promised to be. That kid that had been deprived of a normal life.
That little part of him thought he could stay here forever. That part of him wanted to. Maybe this place was unnatural, but there was no struggle here. No need to want. No worrying about having enough food, or virtually anything else. No cops, no reason to sneak around, or use false names, or pretend to be anything other than who he was.
There was all that appeal there, no doubting it.
But the other part of him... The hunter in himself, (because as much as he wanted to deny it, a part of him was a hunter and always would be.) the young man seeking redemption for things that had hardly been in his control.... That part of him took that static... That pain and lack of vision as a taunt and a reminder of what was happening outside this place.
Just because he was here didn't mean the outside world had stopped turning. There were still demons and other nasty things out there to hunt and kill, there were still people to save, and he felt like he was letting those people down by indulging in whatever this place truly was.
That ache that lingered was what reminded him of that. It was what made him quiet, brooding, and "not right" since his vision, or lack there of.
He found himself withdrawing a little. Taking information from Dean on the people he'd met. Taking notes Dad had been leaving for him in their room, when they couldn't seem to catch each other at the same time, and Sam focused on compiling the digital Dossier. Adding information to old entries, and creating new ones. A profile for each individual, physical statistics, first impressions, and any personal information they'd gathered on them. Such as their former occupations and any potential knowledge or skills they seemed to have. Whether or not they would be useful in getting out of this place and back to their respective lives.
It wasn't much, but at least it was something to occupy his time, something that might be useful in the long run.
He had wondered if maybe it was all pointless. Maybe they'd never get out. Maybe they'd just be trapped there indefinitely. And this hotel, whatever it really was, maybe it would eventually teach them to forget, coax them into not trying... not caring. There seemed to be some sentience about it. Which reasonably concerned him given the blocking of all contact on the outside. The lack of explanation for anything here. He just didn't understand this place at all. Why the hell did it lure them here and why wouldn't it let them leave?
Sam saved his work completed and logged out of the files he'd encrypted on the laptop before powering it down and closing it with a sigh.
Once he tucked it away, Sam forced himself to get up and leave his room. He needed to take a walk, clear his head of all this wondering and "what if"-ing. Dean had mentioned something about a gym.
According to his brother, it hadn't been there before.
Sam could over-think that, or he could go and let out some of his frustration there.
CONTINUE HERE...