Will My Arms Be Strong Enough 32/45
Title: Will My Arms Be Strong Enough? 32/45
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys...and others!
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Gwen, Rhys, John Hart, two OC's, Andrea (Andie) Carlowe and Nick Jones.
Spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds.
Summary: John made his confession, but how will the others react?
Chapter 32
The silence that followed John’s outburst was so thick it was almost visible as a shimmering haze settling around the room, tense, palatable. It seemed to hang around them before settling over them like a dusty covering on a mirror. Nobody moved; nobody even appeared to breathe. No one seemed to want to break the tension created by those four simple words still silently echoing around them. Even the two girls waiting upstairs in the boardroom seemed frozen in their positions at the table, though they had no idea what had been going on.
Jack’s eyes were fixed on John, a strange mix of emotions on his handsome face. The predominant one appeared to be shock, though he also appeared to be at once relieved that the other man had managed to move on after him, but at the same time, he was sad that it had come to light like this. At the same time, there was a flicker - a fast-fading flicker, but a flicker nonetheless - of amusement that Captain John Hart, the Lothario to his Casanova of the ages, had fallen for no one less than a twenty-first century Welshman (and a Jones to boot!) Not only that, but he had also announced this to the entire Hub!
Next to him, Ianto’s eyes were fixed on Nick, his back arched as he leaned over the railings. Again, astonishment was flashing in his eyes, but at the same time, he looked concerned and, even as his eyes stayed on his cousin, his head would occasionally turn in John’s direction and flashes of guilt would cross over his face as he remembered how he had treated the former Time Agent with such suspicion. John may not have always been the most pleasant character, but right now, at the end of the day, he was, and he had always been, simply a man in love.
Down below, unaware of Jack’s scrutinizing eyes, John was breathing heavily as the impact of his words had started to hit him. It was true; he had loved Nick for a long time, but saying it out loud and actually hearing the words ringing through the air made it even truer, just as saying them out loud to Jack had.
And look what happened then!
He bit his lip hard, trying to calm the emotions raging inside him, before taking a deep breath and finally decided to look up. He didn’t even register Jack or Ianto, instead his eyes focused on the man right in front of him, even as his heart clenched just from looking at him.
It wasn’t just the bruises and blood covering his soft cheeks that affected him, or even the tiny pricks of blood dripping from his lip. Instead, it was the frozen look of disbelief and anger burning out of his beautiful dark eyes. He swallowed hard at the sight, the anger that he had felt slipping away like water running through his fingers.
Slowly, he stepped forwards, but before he could even open his mouth, Nick stepped sideways and stalked out of the room and up the stairs before breaking into a run.
When he heard his footsteps fade across the Hub floor, Ianto sprinted down and picked something up. “He left his glasses behind,” he said by way of explanation.
John blinked and stepped forward, shattering the tension that had been suffocating them until then. “I’ll take -” he began, but before he could finish, Ianto had already disappeared. Quickly, he moved to follow him, but was stopped by Jack pressing a hand against his chest. “Jack -”
“No,” replied Jack, firmly, but not unkindly. “You need to give him time and space.”
“Time and space?!” repeated John, his voice rising uncontrollably. “Jack, we’ve got an entire Rift in time and space here and look how much good that does anyone!” He pushed hard against Jack’s hand, his eyes wild as he tried to force him away. “Get out of my way and let me go!”
The next thing he knew, however, he was being slammed against the wall, his arms pressed either side of his head and Jack’s flaming blue eyes boring into his face. He tried to wriggle away, but Jack only pressed against him, literally pinning him to the wall. “Knew you’d want me now that I’m taken,” John tried to joke.
Jack glared at him for a second, but, try as he might, he couldn’t stop a small chuckle from escaping his lips. He closed his eyes and sighed. “Come into the hothouse and we’ll have a talk,” he said, loosening his grip on his former partner and steering him up the stairs. He swallowed hard, feeling his heart ache a bit when he looked around the Hub and realised that Nick was no longer anywhere to be seen. Ianto looked up and nodded sadly.
Once they were upstairs, Jack sat down on the plant table. “Just give Nick time,” he said. “This is a big thing for him to take in. He’s probably just -” but then he stopped when he saw the look that John was giving him; a look of pure incredulity. He bit his lip; he’d hoped it wouldn’t come to this.
“And he’ll be shocked by what you did earlier,” he said, letting out a breath. “And I can’t lie to you - I know better than most what you’re capable of, but I was shocked as well. I honestly thought you’d left all that behind you when you met Nick.”
John stared at him. “Yes, well…I thought I had too, but I’m not so sure any more,” he muttered. “When I saw what those…animals were about to do to him…I just…” He shook himself. “Hey, how can you have a go at me for what I’ve done? Are you honestly telling me that you wouldn’t have done the same thing if it had been Ianto?”
“Yes, I -“Jack stopped and took a deep breath. “John, I can’t deny that, if it had been Ianto, I would’ve been angry, furious even. But I wouldn’t have gone off hell-bent on revenge, because…” he hesitated and then nodded. “I know Ianto wouldn’t have wanted me to.”
He shook himself. “Now, come on; you need to give Nick some time before you try talking to him. There’s a huge pile of paperwork that needs doing.”
~*~
Two hours later…
Jack sighed as he looked up into the window from where he was sat on the sofa. He had left John alone to do the paperwork, wanting to give him some space and some time to think things through. But he could see that the younger Time Agent was flagging; his mind was elsewhere.
“Jack,” Ianto had come up behind him. “Look, I know we were supposed to go out tonight, but…I think you should let John go home. He’s clearly not focusing on what he’s doing and he looks exhausted. I’ll take the Rift watch tonight with you, but John needs to get home and talk to Nick.”
Jack nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.” He gave Ianto’s hand a light squeeze and made his way up the stairs. “You can go home now, John,” he said quietly. “Ianto’s taking over your shift tonight.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when John was on his feet, hurtling down the stairs, calling a quick goodbye to Ianto and then gliding up the invisible lift. Once out of the Hub, he started running and didn’t stop until he arrived at his block of flats. He took a series of deep breaths before he turned the key to his front door and stepped inside.
At first glance, the flat seemed empty, but he soon became aware of noises coming from the bedroom and hastened inside to see what was going on. When he arrived, he stopped in his tracks, the sight that met his eyes shocking him to the core.
There was a familiar black sports bag lying open on the bed and half-filled with clothes. A messy heap of books sat beside it with a small blue teddy bear on top. Various small items were also spread liberally over the bedcovers. For a second, John wondered if there were burglars around, but then Nick came out of the bathroom and the reality hit him. And it was a hundred times worse.
“What are you doing?” he asked, not wanting to believe it.
“Packing,” answered Nick, without turning around.
“But you’re packing…everything?”
“Yep.” The reply was almost brutally blunt.
John felt his eyes widen as he stepped into the room. “But…why?!” he blurted out. “I…God, Nick, where are you going?” he exclaimed, almost breathlessly.
“I’m going home,” answered Nick, his voice equally quiet as he piled everything that wouldn’t fit into his sports bag into a small rucksack, zipped it up and made his way out, not even looking at John as he did so. At the door, however, he stopped and sighed.
“I was so stupid,” he whispered. “I really thought you’d changed.”
“I have changed!”
“I thought you had. But there’s still a bit of the old you left in there, isn’t there? I can’t live with someone who tries to prove their love for me by using cold-blooded murder.” He paused. “Because that’s what it was John. It was murder, pure and simple. I can’t be with you if I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“Nick…”
“No, John. It’s over.” And with that, Nick picked up his bags again and started for the door.
“Well, fine!” John didn’t know why, but when he heard Nick say those words, something inside him snapped. “Just go then; go - take your stuff and go! Just forget about us! Forget about the memories we shared! In fact,” and he grabbed a picture and threw it at him, not even flinching when it smashed against the wall. “There you go! Just to show you that you’re welcome to them! They’re not our memories now - they’re just your memories! I don’t need them!”
He waited for a response, but when Nick didn’t say a word and just carried on walking, he shouted out, “Go on, leave then! Just walk away like what we shared was nothing!” When Nick was about to shut the door, he shouted, “But mark my words, Nick Jones - you’ll think of me!”
But the door just slammed. Sighing, John flopped into a chair, staring at the broken shards of glass from the picture frame. “You’ll think of me…”
~*~
Nick ran down a few flights of stairs, not even bothering to look where he was going, until he finally collapsed against the wall in the lobby, panting heavily as he clutched at his side.
A middle-aged man who lived in the building frowned at him. “Don’t be giving yourself a heart attack at your age!” he said. “We need fit young men like you today!”
“Yeah, thanks,” muttered Nick, easing himself back up again. “Just had a bad break-up, that’s all.” Before any more awkward questions could be asked, he stumbled to his feet and made his way back out into the night.
It had started to rain, but he didn’t notice. He didn’t even seem to notice where he was going. Everywhere he looked all the streets looked the same…
He didn’t even flinch when the stench hit him. He barely even noticed it. Instead, ignoring his hair flopping damply in his face, he staggered up the stairs, fumbled for his keys, unlocked his door and sank down on the old saggy chair by the window, dropping his face into his hands as he tried to get his head around what had just happened.
How long he sat there, he didn’t know. He just watched the rain attack his window panes, falling harder and harder until he couldn’t even see anything beyond the water. It was only then that he started to pull away and only then that he realised that something was stroking his cheek gently, wiping away small drops of water from his face.
Nick blinked in surprise - he hadn’t even realised that he was crying - and turned his head slightly, almost jumping out of his skin when he saw someone sat next to him. When he realised who it was, however, he breathed out deeply.
“How…how long have you been there?” He didn’t need to ask how the other man had gotten in.
“Long enough,” Ianto answered, wiping away the last of the tears. “Come on.”
“Come on what?”
Ianto responded by picking up Nick’s sports bag. “Come with me. I won’t leave you alone while you’re in this sort of state. You can stay at mine and Jack’s for a while.”
He forestalled any protests Nick might have made. “We’ll even keep things quiet at night,” he added, with a small smile. “Now, come on. Jack’s waiting outside in the car.”
Nick didn’t even have the energy to argue any more.
***
Next Time: Will the rift between the two former lovers cost more than it should? Or will Jack intervene before things get out of hand?
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys...and others!
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Gwen, Rhys, John Hart, two OC's, Andrea (Andie) Carlowe and Nick Jones.
Spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds.
Summary: John made his confession, but how will the others react?
Chapter 32
The silence that followed John’s outburst was so thick it was almost visible as a shimmering haze settling around the room, tense, palatable. It seemed to hang around them before settling over them like a dusty covering on a mirror. Nobody moved; nobody even appeared to breathe. No one seemed to want to break the tension created by those four simple words still silently echoing around them. Even the two girls waiting upstairs in the boardroom seemed frozen in their positions at the table, though they had no idea what had been going on.
Jack’s eyes were fixed on John, a strange mix of emotions on his handsome face. The predominant one appeared to be shock, though he also appeared to be at once relieved that the other man had managed to move on after him, but at the same time, he was sad that it had come to light like this. At the same time, there was a flicker - a fast-fading flicker, but a flicker nonetheless - of amusement that Captain John Hart, the Lothario to his Casanova of the ages, had fallen for no one less than a twenty-first century Welshman (and a Jones to boot!) Not only that, but he had also announced this to the entire Hub!
Next to him, Ianto’s eyes were fixed on Nick, his back arched as he leaned over the railings. Again, astonishment was flashing in his eyes, but at the same time, he looked concerned and, even as his eyes stayed on his cousin, his head would occasionally turn in John’s direction and flashes of guilt would cross over his face as he remembered how he had treated the former Time Agent with such suspicion. John may not have always been the most pleasant character, but right now, at the end of the day, he was, and he had always been, simply a man in love.
Down below, unaware of Jack’s scrutinizing eyes, John was breathing heavily as the impact of his words had started to hit him. It was true; he had loved Nick for a long time, but saying it out loud and actually hearing the words ringing through the air made it even truer, just as saying them out loud to Jack had.
And look what happened then!
He bit his lip hard, trying to calm the emotions raging inside him, before taking a deep breath and finally decided to look up. He didn’t even register Jack or Ianto, instead his eyes focused on the man right in front of him, even as his heart clenched just from looking at him.
It wasn’t just the bruises and blood covering his soft cheeks that affected him, or even the tiny pricks of blood dripping from his lip. Instead, it was the frozen look of disbelief and anger burning out of his beautiful dark eyes. He swallowed hard at the sight, the anger that he had felt slipping away like water running through his fingers.
Slowly, he stepped forwards, but before he could even open his mouth, Nick stepped sideways and stalked out of the room and up the stairs before breaking into a run.
When he heard his footsteps fade across the Hub floor, Ianto sprinted down and picked something up. “He left his glasses behind,” he said by way of explanation.
John blinked and stepped forward, shattering the tension that had been suffocating them until then. “I’ll take -” he began, but before he could finish, Ianto had already disappeared. Quickly, he moved to follow him, but was stopped by Jack pressing a hand against his chest. “Jack -”
“No,” replied Jack, firmly, but not unkindly. “You need to give him time and space.”
“Time and space?!” repeated John, his voice rising uncontrollably. “Jack, we’ve got an entire Rift in time and space here and look how much good that does anyone!” He pushed hard against Jack’s hand, his eyes wild as he tried to force him away. “Get out of my way and let me go!”
The next thing he knew, however, he was being slammed against the wall, his arms pressed either side of his head and Jack’s flaming blue eyes boring into his face. He tried to wriggle away, but Jack only pressed against him, literally pinning him to the wall. “Knew you’d want me now that I’m taken,” John tried to joke.
Jack glared at him for a second, but, try as he might, he couldn’t stop a small chuckle from escaping his lips. He closed his eyes and sighed. “Come into the hothouse and we’ll have a talk,” he said, loosening his grip on his former partner and steering him up the stairs. He swallowed hard, feeling his heart ache a bit when he looked around the Hub and realised that Nick was no longer anywhere to be seen. Ianto looked up and nodded sadly.
Once they were upstairs, Jack sat down on the plant table. “Just give Nick time,” he said. “This is a big thing for him to take in. He’s probably just -” but then he stopped when he saw the look that John was giving him; a look of pure incredulity. He bit his lip; he’d hoped it wouldn’t come to this.
“And he’ll be shocked by what you did earlier,” he said, letting out a breath. “And I can’t lie to you - I know better than most what you’re capable of, but I was shocked as well. I honestly thought you’d left all that behind you when you met Nick.”
John stared at him. “Yes, well…I thought I had too, but I’m not so sure any more,” he muttered. “When I saw what those…animals were about to do to him…I just…” He shook himself. “Hey, how can you have a go at me for what I’ve done? Are you honestly telling me that you wouldn’t have done the same thing if it had been Ianto?”
“Yes, I -“Jack stopped and took a deep breath. “John, I can’t deny that, if it had been Ianto, I would’ve been angry, furious even. But I wouldn’t have gone off hell-bent on revenge, because…” he hesitated and then nodded. “I know Ianto wouldn’t have wanted me to.”
He shook himself. “Now, come on; you need to give Nick some time before you try talking to him. There’s a huge pile of paperwork that needs doing.”
~*~
Two hours later…
Jack sighed as he looked up into the window from where he was sat on the sofa. He had left John alone to do the paperwork, wanting to give him some space and some time to think things through. But he could see that the younger Time Agent was flagging; his mind was elsewhere.
“Jack,” Ianto had come up behind him. “Look, I know we were supposed to go out tonight, but…I think you should let John go home. He’s clearly not focusing on what he’s doing and he looks exhausted. I’ll take the Rift watch tonight with you, but John needs to get home and talk to Nick.”
Jack nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.” He gave Ianto’s hand a light squeeze and made his way up the stairs. “You can go home now, John,” he said quietly. “Ianto’s taking over your shift tonight.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when John was on his feet, hurtling down the stairs, calling a quick goodbye to Ianto and then gliding up the invisible lift. Once out of the Hub, he started running and didn’t stop until he arrived at his block of flats. He took a series of deep breaths before he turned the key to his front door and stepped inside.
At first glance, the flat seemed empty, but he soon became aware of noises coming from the bedroom and hastened inside to see what was going on. When he arrived, he stopped in his tracks, the sight that met his eyes shocking him to the core.
There was a familiar black sports bag lying open on the bed and half-filled with clothes. A messy heap of books sat beside it with a small blue teddy bear on top. Various small items were also spread liberally over the bedcovers. For a second, John wondered if there were burglars around, but then Nick came out of the bathroom and the reality hit him. And it was a hundred times worse.
“What are you doing?” he asked, not wanting to believe it.
“Packing,” answered Nick, without turning around.
“But you’re packing…everything?”
“Yep.” The reply was almost brutally blunt.
John felt his eyes widen as he stepped into the room. “But…why?!” he blurted out. “I…God, Nick, where are you going?” he exclaimed, almost breathlessly.
“I’m going home,” answered Nick, his voice equally quiet as he piled everything that wouldn’t fit into his sports bag into a small rucksack, zipped it up and made his way out, not even looking at John as he did so. At the door, however, he stopped and sighed.
“I was so stupid,” he whispered. “I really thought you’d changed.”
“I have changed!”
“I thought you had. But there’s still a bit of the old you left in there, isn’t there? I can’t live with someone who tries to prove their love for me by using cold-blooded murder.” He paused. “Because that’s what it was John. It was murder, pure and simple. I can’t be with you if I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“Nick…”
“No, John. It’s over.” And with that, Nick picked up his bags again and started for the door.
“Well, fine!” John didn’t know why, but when he heard Nick say those words, something inside him snapped. “Just go then; go - take your stuff and go! Just forget about us! Forget about the memories we shared! In fact,” and he grabbed a picture and threw it at him, not even flinching when it smashed against the wall. “There you go! Just to show you that you’re welcome to them! They’re not our memories now - they’re just your memories! I don’t need them!”
He waited for a response, but when Nick didn’t say a word and just carried on walking, he shouted out, “Go on, leave then! Just walk away like what we shared was nothing!” When Nick was about to shut the door, he shouted, “But mark my words, Nick Jones - you’ll think of me!”
But the door just slammed. Sighing, John flopped into a chair, staring at the broken shards of glass from the picture frame. “You’ll think of me…”
~*~
Nick ran down a few flights of stairs, not even bothering to look where he was going, until he finally collapsed against the wall in the lobby, panting heavily as he clutched at his side.
A middle-aged man who lived in the building frowned at him. “Don’t be giving yourself a heart attack at your age!” he said. “We need fit young men like you today!”
“Yeah, thanks,” muttered Nick, easing himself back up again. “Just had a bad break-up, that’s all.” Before any more awkward questions could be asked, he stumbled to his feet and made his way back out into the night.
It had started to rain, but he didn’t notice. He didn’t even seem to notice where he was going. Everywhere he looked all the streets looked the same…
He didn’t even flinch when the stench hit him. He barely even noticed it. Instead, ignoring his hair flopping damply in his face, he staggered up the stairs, fumbled for his keys, unlocked his door and sank down on the old saggy chair by the window, dropping his face into his hands as he tried to get his head around what had just happened.
How long he sat there, he didn’t know. He just watched the rain attack his window panes, falling harder and harder until he couldn’t even see anything beyond the water. It was only then that he started to pull away and only then that he realised that something was stroking his cheek gently, wiping away small drops of water from his face.
Nick blinked in surprise - he hadn’t even realised that he was crying - and turned his head slightly, almost jumping out of his skin when he saw someone sat next to him. When he realised who it was, however, he breathed out deeply.
“How…how long have you been there?” He didn’t need to ask how the other man had gotten in.
“Long enough,” Ianto answered, wiping away the last of the tears. “Come on.”
“Come on what?”
Ianto responded by picking up Nick’s sports bag. “Come with me. I won’t leave you alone while you’re in this sort of state. You can stay at mine and Jack’s for a while.”
He forestalled any protests Nick might have made. “We’ll even keep things quiet at night,” he added, with a small smile. “Now, come on. Jack’s waiting outside in the car.”
Nick didn’t even have the energy to argue any more.
***
Next Time: Will the rift between the two former lovers cost more than it should? Or will Jack intervene before things get out of hand?