Will My Arms Be Strong Enough 25/45
Title: Will My Arms Be Strong Enough? 25/45
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys...and others!
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Gwen, Rhys, John Hart, two OC's, Andrea (Andie) Carlowe and Nick Jones.
Spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds.
Summary: A Weevil attack brings a tough choice.
Okay...I gotta make a confession, here; I know pretty much nothing about medicine and medical ethics (which when you consider that (a) my dad's a doctor and (b) I used to work in a hospital, is a bit worrying. But, anyways, don't lynch me. If I get it wrong, it's not my fault!
***
Chapter 25
Two weeks later…
The cog door rolled back as the team entered, supporting the wounded man. John helped Nick carry him down to the autopsy bay, with Jack and Ianto following them
Gwen stared, open-mouthed, at the sight. “What happened?”
“One of the Weevils basically ripped his throat out,” Jack answered bluntly. He tossed the man’s drivers license towards her. “I need you to contact the police and find out what you can about our victim; if there’s anyone we can contact. Andie, there’s a Weevil body in the back of the SUV. I want you to conduct an autopsy on it and see if you can find anything that might have made it react in that way.”
“Meaning more violently than usual,” amended Ianto.
Gwen leapt to her feet. “You could have just taken the man to the hospital?” she asked, rushing to look down into the autopsy bay where John and Ianto were helping Nick. “Couldn’t you?”
Andie came to join her, grimacing as she caught sight of the convulsing and bleeding man, and shook her head. “The Hub was closer and the SUV was with them. Waiting for an ambulance would have cost time - time that he doesn’t have.”
Gwen watched her leave, not fully placated, but this time not having the energy to argue. Instead, she hacked into the police database, something first Toshiko and then John had taught her how to do and ran a search on their victim. Quickly, she printed off the information she had found and passed it to Jack, while hastily reeling off the relevant information to the others.
“So, his nearest relative is his stepbrother who lives in Brisbane?” panted Nick as he applied more pressure to the still-bleeding wound. “Thanks, Gwen.”
She nodded and started to walk away, but suddenly turned back. “You will save him, won’t you?”
Nick looked up for a split second. “I’ll try,” he promised. Only John saw the faint flicker of pain in his eyes before he went back to business. “Ianto; how’s the pulse?”
“Faint, but steady,” answered Ianto.
“Okay. John, get the anaesthetic ready. I’ve got to get this blood to stop flowing and get this wound closed up fast if he’s going to have a chance.”
“Wouldn’t he have had a better chance if we’d taken him to the hospital?” asked Gwen again.
“Aside from the awkward questions, by the time we’d waited for the ambulance and got him there, he’d probably have been dead,” answered Jack. “Come on, Nick; you’re doing great.”
“Okay,” said Nick, his voice calmer than he felt. “John, as soon as I get all these cloths away, you inject the anaesthetic.” Very slowly, and taking care to keep the pressure on, he started to move the cloths and towels away.
“Nick, his pulse is dropping!” shouted Ianto.
“I know. I’m going as fast as I -” but suddenly, he stopped. Something underneath the cloths had been moved. At the same time, the man started convulsing even more violently.
“What was that?” asked John. But Nick didn’t answer; he had turned as white as a sheet as the wound started to bleed again, thicker and faster than ever, soaking the towels in seconds.
Jack came over to look and his eyes widened. “Oh my God…” he whispered. “Did you know that there was a Weevil tooth in there?”
Nick shook his head. “No…” He was shaking all over, but managed to control himself enough to see the man struggling in pain. “Shit, he’s going into cardiac arrest!”
“His pulse is dropping way too fast!” shouted Ianto. “It’s almost gone.”
Nick swallowed hard and grabbed a handful of sheets from underneath the autopsy trolley. Without pausing to rip them, he pressed them on top of the wound, applying as much pressure as he could. But it didn’t stop the flow, or even slow it.
And all the while, the convulsions never once stopped. In fact, they seemed to be growing worse by the second. Ianto was fairly sure that, if the man could be making proper noises, he would be screaming in agony by now.
Nick caught his cousin’s eye and nodded. Then, in a voice that seemed so far away, he said, “All I’m doing now is causing him pain.”
Gwen’s eyes widened as she realised what he meant. “Nick, you can’t!”
“There’s nothing else I can do,” said Nick, his voice breaking. “He’s going to exsanguinate - sorry, bleed out - anyway. It’s better that we let him go peacefully.” He looked straight at Jack when he spoke the next words. “I can’t let him suffer.”
Jack shook his head. “No, you’re right.” To Gwen, he said, “Just look, Gwen. I know you want to save people and I’m pleased about that. But there’s nothing Nick can do and you know it. It would be wrong to let this man suffer unnecessarily.”
“Owen wouldn’t have done that,” put in Ianto quietly.
“No,” replied Nick, equally quiet. “No, he wouldn’t.” He took a deep breath and prepared a syringe which he slowly injected into the dying man’s veins. “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he stood up.
Ianto came over and gripped his shoulder. “You did the right thing,” he said, his voice calm, though his eyes were bright with tears. However, he was distracted by a noise from above them. He looked up to see Gwen watching them, an expression of shock on her face.
“Just leave it, Gwen,” he said wearily.
Gwen raised her eyebrows. “So, you just let him die?” she exclaimed. “You’re a doctor!”
Ianto took a deep breath, forcing himself to stay calm. “Don’t start, Gwen,” he almost pleaded. “Can’t you see that he’s already upset?”
Nick pressed his hands to his forehead. “Contrary to what you might think, Gwen,” he said slowly, “doctors don’t always have the answers. And even if we did, I don’t think it would make things much easier. I mean, I know this isn’t a particularly fair question, since you’re not a doctor, but…what would you have done?”
“I would have at least tried!” answered Gwen, her voice rising steadily.
There was a long silence. Then, very slowly and calmly, Nick stepped away from Ianto and came up the stairs to stand in front of her. “I did try,” he said quietly. “I really did. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for him, I really am. No doctor likes losing a patient. But sometimes you have to stop…for the greater good; when you know that all you’re doing is causing your patient unnecessary pain. It’s not an easy decision to make, but sometimes you have to do it.”
“It looked easy from here!” shouted Gwen, her voice rising by the second and her eyes becoming wild. “'Oh, it’s only one person, never mind, quick injection. Sorry about that, now let’s go home!’”
In that moment, everyone knew she had gone too far. Ianto worked his jaw a few times, his eyes blazing with anger. But before he could move, Jack squeezed his shoulder and went up to Gwen.
“Why don’t you go home now, Gwen,” he said, gently, but everyone could hear the edge in his voice. “We’ve had a rough few days. Go home - remind Rhys what you look like,” he added, forcing a small laugh to his voice.
Gwen looked around the room and then, with a muttered goodbye, she turned on her heel and raced out of the Hub, feeling extremely ashamed of herself. She hadn’t meant to lash out at Nick like that and she knew that it would take a lot for the others, especially Ianto, to forgive her.
Once she had gone, Jack turned to the others, who had come to stand beside him. “You guys can take yourselves home now if you want to,” he said quietly. “I’ll wait for Andie to do her autopsy and deal with the paperwork.”
“I’ll just go and clean up downstairs first,” said Nick, his voice strangely level, though his usually rosy complexion was very pale. He adjusted his glasses and, with a flick of bright hair, he disappeared back down the stairs.
Ianto lingered for only a moment before following. He watched for a few seconds from the middle of the stairs as Nick folded his white lab coat up and stored it in one of the cupboards and, setting his face, started to tidy his things up.
“Nick…” he whispered softly, descending the last few stairs.
“I’ve just got to tidy up,” said Nick, almost tripping over his words. “Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be out of your hair.” He picked up the tray with the two used syringes on it, but his hands were shaking so badly, he promptly dropped it.
Quickly, Ianto pulled on a pair of surgical gloves and picked up the tray, disposing of the syringes. “Nick, what’s wrong?” he asked, coming to stand next to him.
“Nothing...”
Ianto sighed. “Nick, the only person I know who’s a worse liar than you are is our James. Please, don’t do this to me. I know you better than that.” He slipped an arm around his cousin’s shoulders. “What’s wrong, mate?”
“I’m fine!” Nick pulled away angrily. “Just leave it, Ianto!”
“No!” snapped Ianto. “Not until you tell me what’s wrong!” When the only reply he received was an attempt at a stubborn glare, he folded his arms. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” asked Nick, in a fierce voice that would have been a lot more convincing if his glasses hadn’t been misting up.
“Like you want to rip my eyes out of their sockets…or at least you would if you weren’t on the verge of tears,” replied Ianto dryly.
Nick almost dropped the instruments he was holding at those words. “God, Ianto!” he exclaimed. “I’m not angry with you…”
“Really?” Ianto’s tone was almost dripping with scepticism.
“Really…” Nick’s voice broke. “I’m not…I’m just…” he turned away again, blinking hard.
Ianto felt a flare of pity spark inside him. “Hey,” he said, gently easing the instruments out of his cousin’s hand and stroking his fingers. “Talk to me,” he whispered.
Nick looked at him sharply for a few minutes, but when Ianto’s arm slipped back around his shoulders, he collapsed against him with a tired sigh. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking a little. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“It’s fine,” said Ianto gently. “Besides, who else can take it? Who else can you take it out on?”
Nick dropped his glasses on the table as he turned round in horror. “That’s not how you see yourself, is it?” he asked. “Just…just as a sort of punch-bag after I’ve had a bad day? God, Ianto…you’re so much more than that. You mean…” he stopped and swallowed, his eyes fixed on the floor, “you mean the world to me…”
Ianto squeezed his shoulder and held him close. “And you mean the world to me, Nick. So…stop doing this to yourself and talk to me.” He waited for Nick to speak, but when he didn’t, when he didn’t even look up at him, he reached over and pulled him into a hug, smoothing his hair gently. His heart ached when he felt something damp hitting his shoulder. “Hey, come on…just calm down, yeah? I’m here.”
“Sorry…” Nick twisted his head slightly so he was looking at Ianto. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just…doing that brought back something…something I’ve never told anyone…”
Ianto stroked his cheek gently, thumbing away the tears. “What?”
“I can’t…”
“Hey…yes, you can. There’s nothing you can’t tell me, Nick.” Ianto was worried; Nick wasn’t someone who broke down over nothing. He passed his cousin his glasses and stroked his hair gently. “Come on, talk to me.”
At that moment, Jack peered over the railings. “Are you two still here?”
Nick jumped and stepped away from Ianto. “Just tidying up,” he said, hastily dragging one hand over his eyes. “Why, was there something you needed?”
Jack shook his head. “No,” he whispered, “nothing.” When he became aware of Ianto following him, he turned and gripped his shoulder. “Take him home,” he whispered. “I’ll finish up here.”
Ianto sighed. “Jack, Nick is worse than I am for being stubborn.”
“And I know how bad you are,” Jack teased, but his heart wasn’t in it. “Seriously, Ianto, get him out of here and get him home. He doesn’t need to be here right now. I’ll wait for Andie to come back and clean up here. You two get yourselves home. That’s an order.” He gave Ianto a quick kiss and then turned into his office.
Sighing, Ianto trailed back into the autopsy bay, where Nick was covering the man’s body with a sheet. “Jack’s ordered me to take you home,” he said without preamble. “I don’t think you should be alone, so I’m taking you back to my flat for a while.”
To his surprise, Nick didn’t resist this time; instead, he simply took Ianto’s hand and let himself be led out of the Hub. He didn’t say a word throughout the journey back to Ianto’s flat, but kept on staring straight ahead. It was only when they actually pulled up outside, that he called Catrin to say that he’d be late picking the children up.
“No, I’m all right,” he said wearily as Ianto let him inside. “I’ve just had a really long day.”
“Are you sure?” Catrin sounded anxious. “You sound as if you’ve hardly slept for days.”
“I haven’t.”
She sighed. “Look, let me take the kids for tonight, so you can get some sleep. And I’m not taking no for an answer.”
For once, Nick didn’t have the energy to argue. “Thanks.” He snapped the phone shut and sat down with a small sigh, leaning back into the sofa.
Ianto came and sat down next to him. “You did the right thing, Nick,” he said quietly, rubbing his shoulder and squeezing his hand. “Now, come on; talk to me.”
Nick blinked. “What?”
“You said that today brought back some memories for you - something happened before that really affected you, didn’t it?”
“Ianto…” Nick’s voice was breaking.
“Hey, come here,” said Ianto gently, shuffling closer and wrapping an arm around him. “Tell me what happened.”
***
Next Time: Nick tells his story.