Well then

[andrewcardall]

Today is the 11th of October, which means very little to many of people, and until recently, I was one of them. That was until a few weeks ago when my Dad told me he was getting married on this day, and guess what? He has. This means I now have a step-mother, who I met once, and four step-siblings, who I've never met and didn't even know existed

Comments

[svenjaliv]

I like it. I like your style of writing, and it works really well with something like this. If you want more in-depth critique...

I like your descriptions, how "you" see the other people and all that. And how you get the thought processes down, too, it reads very well. A bit random and jumpy, which is exactly how someone would think when they're angry and swept up in something like this. And you get a sense of the, I don't know, loneliness? confusion? doubt? that comes with leaving home, as well, which then gets turned into anger and so on.

I'll be interested to see where this goes, I want to know what happens next! =D

[manchester_red]

Well-written, I think, though a few grammatical errors here and there - for example: 'You know where behind you regardless' should be 'You know we're behind you' (as you know, I make plenty of effors like that in the heat of the moment.) But on the whole sound enough writing.

I enjoyed it, though I felt that possibly you could have gone further with the confusion and the angst, and the irritation the character feels at people like the jesus freak. You got there towards the end, I felt. I liked it Arnie, and want to read more! If I have one BIG criticism, it's you writing yourself off before we even had a chance to read it - 'I know it's not any good' - shame on you! ;-)

Nice memories too!