More a babbling than an essay
Aviy needs to work out some issues she's having with Ticky Mikk. This means ESSAYS.
So, I don't really know how other people do it, but I frankly don't think much about WHY my characters are in a particular mood. I assume there is a part of my brain which keeps tabs of these things, as I seem to always KNOW. And as long as my characters aren't in a really odd mood, I don't ask much about it.
For example, until the thing with his brother, Ed was in a pretty good, laid back mood. I assume this is due to him settling in at camp, and at the same time accepting the fact that eventually he's going to go back. Still, I didn't feel obligated to essay about it. I accepted it.
Similarly, some days Ticky is crazier than other days. This doesn't alarm me. Probably it's because he's been more bored than usual. Or whatever. Crazier than normal Ticky is something everyone should WORRY about, but not due to ICness.
........however lately Ticky is SANER than normal, and that's weird. It concerns me. So herein Aviy rambles to figure out why.
Okay, first let's see if I can divide this up into relative sections to keep me organized.
Parts of a Noah- Basically, Ticky has two lives. All of the Noah have the ability to wear a 'white' form, and Rhode even lives her own 'white' life, where she goes to school and presumably functions like a semi-normal crazy lolita. And I imagine that, in their off time, the other Noah have 'white' lives of their own. However the distinct impression is given that Ticky is the only one who truly lives his White life as a separate thing from his Black. He loves and enjoys it, he has friends, a different personality, different voice, differet habits. I suspect it's a lot like how he was before he became a Noah (though it is possible that he decided to become a hobo after becoming a Noah, for the contrast).
Now, we don't technically know for sure what Ticky's motivations are, or that of any of the Noah. It hasn't been fully explained and what is explained is confusing. Additionally, we don't know how their 'memories' work. They are the Descendants of Noah, and each seems to have a part of Noah's intentions within them. Rhode has his Dreams, Skin Boric had his Anger, Jasdabi has his Bonds and Ticky has his Pleasure.
Knowing that Ticky holds Noah's pleasure. Knowing that Rhode says no Noah can help but feel a compulsion to kill Exorcists when they see them. Knowing that Ticky kills more Exorcists than any other Noah and makes crazy faces while he does it and says things like "Killing you will be fun". Knowing that Ticky talks about being 'entertained' when fighting, sets up 'games' of hunting exorcists, is tempted to go fight Cross because he's supposed to be strong, and tells Allen that he's only joined up with the Earl to have some fun? It's... not a huge leap to make to assume that gaining Noah's Pleasure gave him a taste for killing like most men have a taste for sex.
There isn't currently any PROOF that Ticky wasn't always a crazed sociopath. But we know he makes an effort to keep his White life, apparently doesn't kill his friends or go on murder sprees. He KNEW Allen and co were exorcists when he first met them in his White form, and made no move against them. He even tells Allen he would have liked to play cards with him again if they met in his White form, but in his Black form he doesn't hesitate to kill any exorcists he comes across (he kills four exorcists before getting to Allen, and then pulls off their buttons once they are dead to see if he's got the right one). We also see, when the Earl first gives Ticky a lengthy list of names of people to kill, that Ticky's initial reaction to this is sadness. It's quick, one panel and half a face, but Rhode sees it. Ticky covers it up, accepts it with minimal complaint, does his job, and presumably enjoys it.
But there is that brief hint of regret which is what I go off of when I figure Ticky used to be normal.
So How Crazy Is He? Honestly hard to say. My immediate response is "pretty darn crazy", but the fact remains that he CAN control his urges. He must have been tempted to kill Allen and crew when he first ran into them. I bet he thought it would be fun. But what was also fun was playing against them, right under their noses, getting to know them a little, and of course, not blowing his cover infront of his true friends.
But Ticky mentions early on that it's having both his White life and his Black which lets him have so much fun. I take this to mean, in part, that he enjoys the conflict between them. But mostly? I think he honestly enjoys both lives. He has friends, a job and hobbies in his White life. He's a hobo but he's cool with it. He can travel anywhere, pick up odd jobs and make his way in good company, meeting many people. And in his Black life? I don't think the 'look' of it suits him. The clothing and the mannerisms. But he can kill there. He can find some real challenges. He can sooth the urge to destroy Innocence and the Exorcists and find pleasure in it.
He honestly ENJOYS both and... it's possible it wouldn't be so hard for him to choose between them. But I'm pretty sure Ticky doesn't make the choice to NOT enjoy himself very often. He might put it off, or enjoy something else right now. But Ticky just doesn't strike me as the sort to abstain. He wants to have fun, and he's not uncontrollable about it, but it's what he wants and why, if you could so easily take what you want, would you choose not to?
However, while Ticky's choices to, you know, be a crazed killer are kinda. Crazy. He never really ACTS insane unless you bring up his White life while he's in his Black. This also suggests strongly at conflict. Ticky never shows any real regret at killing Allen, but when confronted with Rabi who is furious over the death of his friend, Ticky talks about how he understands that losing a friend is painful, and makes his craziest face yet. And... I kinda suspect Ticky did kill his own friend at some point. And wouldn't killing someone you love and yet still ENJOYING it drive you crazy too?
But, again! Speculation there. The fact remains that while Ticky is capable of controlling himself, he enjoys killing people, admits to it, seeks it out. He goes out of his way to make it slow and terrifying for them, is annoyed when they don't react, and gets pissed off when they come back to life on him. So despite the fact that he acts normal 95% of the time, he's pretty zen about doing really evil shit, and that means he's probably a lot crazier than he seems.
So Does He Really Care? GOOD QUESTION. I debated this a lot back before I apped him, and decided to just avoid the issue as much as possible. The fact is, Ticky is intelligent and perfectly capable of being a manipulative bastard. Depending on HOW fixated he is on pleasure, he might not truly care about his friends so much as enjoy their company. It's also possible he finds pleasure in HAVING them as friends, in manipulating them, or... as my guess goes. Ticky can't let go of his White life, as suggested by the fact that he sometimes goes crazy when he thinks about it, and despite no longer being human enough to feel love for his friends, clings to the echo of that.
Going by canon info there is really no way to say. He genuinely seems to enjoy the company of his friends. But does that mean he would die for them? Protect them? Cry at their deaths? Was he ever that sort of person, is he still, or did he lose any possibility of it when he became a Noah and gained a fixation on pleasure?
I... think he really does care for them. There is a chapter cover which says, roughly, "I love people, I kill that which I love". I do think he really LIKES people, and he really CARES for his friends. But being wrong about that would be a huge character. Thing. That I don't want have to retcon, so I've tried to avoid it.
So What is Aviy Freaking Out About? I'M NOT FREAKING OUT. However, Ticky is having a lot of interesting development at camp and I feel the need to summarize it. And figure out how much of it is actually affecting him and how much he's just going along with.
The key point to this, really, is Mika. Which I'm sure his mun is just THRILLED about. But the truth is that while there are a lot of people in camp Ticky is fond of (Yuujirou, Tohru-chan, Luke, Roy, etc) he could kill all of you, enjoy it, and not hesitate much. It doesn't mean he WANTS to. As I play him, the only people he walks around and actively feels the urge to kill is the Exorcists and the Angels. But he doesn't like anyone enough that he would lose any sleep over killing them.
Except Mika.
When you get right down to it, it's not really the fact that Mika is cute and lovable. All this does is make Ticky fond of him in the same way he's fond of other cute and lovable people he would still kill. The key is, I think, that Mika knows what Ticky is and doesn't balk at it.
Keep in mind here, Ticky lives entirely separate lives for a reason more than fun. He... doesn't have the option indulging in both lives within one form. If you're a psychopathic killer, people shun you. He can't lives his White life in his black form, or his Black life in his white form. I don't think Ticky really has a complex over this. He hasn't been SECRETLY PINING AWAY for someone who will accept him. Afterall, as long as he gets to have his fun? He's cool. But the fact remains that while Ticky wasn't looking for acceptance, he did find it, or something very close to it. Mika is the best of both worlds for Ticky, he's fun and someone Ticky likes hanging out with, and he's someone Ticky can fight with, make crazy faces at and fantasize about killing and Mika won't take it too personally or hate him for it. Hell, Ticky nearly killed Rabi and while Mika was MAD about it and BEAT HIS SHIT UP over it, he didn't shun him or treat him any differently.
It doesn't touch Ticky. Ticky doesn't really do emotional touching. But it does surprise him. And he enjoys it, to be able to more himself around one person than anyone else. It equates pretty easily. Both lives at once = more pleasure = happier Ticky.
But, of course, Mika is an angel. And as already established Ticky feels a compulsion to kill Exorcists, so angels are just a step above that. Furthermore, Mika is STRONG. Ticky has a lot of fun fighting him, but the more they fight and Ticky doesn't kill him, the more he wants to finish it.
The complicated part is that Ticky is getting to genuinely like Mika, and this is where I start to break my own rules. I honestly didn't think it would come up, but I have hit a point where I have to decide if Ticky is actually capable of caring, or if he's just good at pretending. I've gone the way of the former already, so I hope I'm right. But as much as Ticky is smart and capable, he never really comes across as someone manipulating everyone. And... having something like a friend in his Black form, who KNOWS what he's like, is really throwing him off. I suppose because he doesn't have to hide it, he gets to indulge in it, he can fight Mika, threaten him or just hang out with him as he pleases. But in the end what he pleases to do is to tear him apart, and...
He almost got there. When they were both women, Ticky as Belial and Mika as Chocolate. Ticky got his hand around Mika's heart and chose not to take it out.
This is a big thing for Ticky, though he isn't really thinking about it. I doubt he often chooses not to kill, and I bet he's never chosen not to kill an Exorcist. As in had his hand around a heart and decided to let them live. And... if he were in a Noah's body, he probably WOULD HAVE completed it. But Belial, crazy evil as she is, isn't like Ticky with the need to kill the holy things. So play it off as, without that Noah influence, Ticky was better about holding himself back from it.
Ticky was kinda... sad, after that. I think he got a look at himself as someone who came this close to killing a person he genuinely likes. And he can deal with being that sort of person, enjoy it even, but he's not so far gone he doesn't still realize that... it's kinda sad.
But he's Ticky, so he got over it. And once again Mika didn't hold it against him at all. Hell, Ticky got to molest him a little in order to change their bodies back. And sex IS a pleasure too, so... A+.
My confusion here though, is that all signs point to the fact that Ticky should be going crazier than normal. Conflicting urges to let Mika live and to kill him. To fight him but to hold back enough that he still loses. Overridden with the constant frustration of FIGHTING but never KILLING.
But yesterday he fought Mika and... he was pretty mellow. He wasn't as crazy as he was last time. At the end of it, when he lost, he had an urge to continue it, repressed it, and is cool with Mika using him for a piggy-back to the hospital. He did, when he though Mika had lost, have the urge to kill him. Might have gone through with it. But throughout the fight he both had fun and was mostly in possession of his right mind. Not to mention that the fight ended on good terms, so while Ticky WILL go disappear into Hobomode after he gets patched up, he doesn't have to, because there is no worry of Mika seeking retribution for something while he's weak.
And... I don't really know why. I don't quite know why NOT either, and that trips me up. Ticky doesn't have to be crazy all the time just 'cause he's Ticky. Even when he kills Allen the first time, fights him the second time, invites the exorcists to play his 'game', he's pretty sane through most of it. He has his dark moments, where the crazy creeps up. But you don't fully SEE IT until his White form clashes with his Black. And I suppose that's why Ii'm expecting it. Ticky around Mika IS his White life clashing with his Black and yet. It's not? He seems to have accepted it, maybe. The way he accepted become a Noah, the way he accepts abuse from his family, accepts losing to Allen, accepts his fate as a sacrifice for the Earl.
I'm okay with this for now, I think. But it has to eventually catch up to him. You just can't BE friends with someone you feel the compulsive need to kill and be alright with that. Ticky is good enough at resisting his urges that in day-to-day matters, he's fine. But what about when he really has a chance to kill Mika? He'll have to choose then, and what will that do to him?
... I think if he chose to kill Mika, it would drive him crazier. But maybe if he chooses to let him live, that does something else? It's the sane choice, afterall. I suppose it might just make him more conflicted, he's really not VERY conflicted now, but it exists. But then, it would really be bad for a Noah to be conflicted. The last time that happened the Earl killed the traitor, and Ticky himself assassinated everyone of the Noah's friends.
Not that Ticky would ever consider uh. Changing sides due to befriending an angel. But choosing his White side over his Black would give him a lot to think on. And maybe a lot to go crazier over too.
But as for why he seems okay now. Well... I guess I figured that out. He's accepted it. He enjoys it, afterall. Pleasure keeps Ticky happy. I'm sure he's aware that this will come to a bad head eventually, but Ticky isn't very good at taking preventative measures. He kills because he likes to kill, and he hangs out with people because he likes to do that too. If he wants to do both at once...? Well, double your pleasure. I don't think knowing that the end results will hurt him more will stop him from doing what he wants now.
Wow that was long. I feel better tho? Questions or concrit or whathaveyou, if you read this, are welcome.
So, I don't really know how other people do it, but I frankly don't think much about WHY my characters are in a particular mood. I assume there is a part of my brain which keeps tabs of these things, as I seem to always KNOW. And as long as my characters aren't in a really odd mood, I don't ask much about it.
For example, until the thing with his brother, Ed was in a pretty good, laid back mood. I assume this is due to him settling in at camp, and at the same time accepting the fact that eventually he's going to go back. Still, I didn't feel obligated to essay about it. I accepted it.
Similarly, some days Ticky is crazier than other days. This doesn't alarm me. Probably it's because he's been more bored than usual. Or whatever. Crazier than normal Ticky is something everyone should WORRY about, but not due to ICness.
........however lately Ticky is SANER than normal, and that's weird. It concerns me. So herein Aviy rambles to figure out why.
Okay, first let's see if I can divide this up into relative sections to keep me organized.
Parts of a Noah- Basically, Ticky has two lives. All of the Noah have the ability to wear a 'white' form, and Rhode even lives her own 'white' life, where she goes to school and presumably functions like a semi-normal crazy lolita. And I imagine that, in their off time, the other Noah have 'white' lives of their own. However the distinct impression is given that Ticky is the only one who truly lives his White life as a separate thing from his Black. He loves and enjoys it, he has friends, a different personality, different voice, differet habits. I suspect it's a lot like how he was before he became a Noah (though it is possible that he decided to become a hobo after becoming a Noah, for the contrast).
Now, we don't technically know for sure what Ticky's motivations are, or that of any of the Noah. It hasn't been fully explained and what is explained is confusing. Additionally, we don't know how their 'memories' work. They are the Descendants of Noah, and each seems to have a part of Noah's intentions within them. Rhode has his Dreams, Skin Boric had his Anger, Jasdabi has his Bonds and Ticky has his Pleasure.
Knowing that Ticky holds Noah's pleasure. Knowing that Rhode says no Noah can help but feel a compulsion to kill Exorcists when they see them. Knowing that Ticky kills more Exorcists than any other Noah and makes crazy faces while he does it and says things like "Killing you will be fun". Knowing that Ticky talks about being 'entertained' when fighting, sets up 'games' of hunting exorcists, is tempted to go fight Cross because he's supposed to be strong, and tells Allen that he's only joined up with the Earl to have some fun? It's... not a huge leap to make to assume that gaining Noah's Pleasure gave him a taste for killing like most men have a taste for sex.
There isn't currently any PROOF that Ticky wasn't always a crazed sociopath. But we know he makes an effort to keep his White life, apparently doesn't kill his friends or go on murder sprees. He KNEW Allen and co were exorcists when he first met them in his White form, and made no move against them. He even tells Allen he would have liked to play cards with him again if they met in his White form, but in his Black form he doesn't hesitate to kill any exorcists he comes across (he kills four exorcists before getting to Allen, and then pulls off their buttons once they are dead to see if he's got the right one). We also see, when the Earl first gives Ticky a lengthy list of names of people to kill, that Ticky's initial reaction to this is sadness. It's quick, one panel and half a face, but Rhode sees it. Ticky covers it up, accepts it with minimal complaint, does his job, and presumably enjoys it.
But there is that brief hint of regret which is what I go off of when I figure Ticky used to be normal.
So How Crazy Is He? Honestly hard to say. My immediate response is "pretty darn crazy", but the fact remains that he CAN control his urges. He must have been tempted to kill Allen and crew when he first ran into them. I bet he thought it would be fun. But what was also fun was playing against them, right under their noses, getting to know them a little, and of course, not blowing his cover infront of his true friends.
But Ticky mentions early on that it's having both his White life and his Black which lets him have so much fun. I take this to mean, in part, that he enjoys the conflict between them. But mostly? I think he honestly enjoys both lives. He has friends, a job and hobbies in his White life. He's a hobo but he's cool with it. He can travel anywhere, pick up odd jobs and make his way in good company, meeting many people. And in his Black life? I don't think the 'look' of it suits him. The clothing and the mannerisms. But he can kill there. He can find some real challenges. He can sooth the urge to destroy Innocence and the Exorcists and find pleasure in it.
He honestly ENJOYS both and... it's possible it wouldn't be so hard for him to choose between them. But I'm pretty sure Ticky doesn't make the choice to NOT enjoy himself very often. He might put it off, or enjoy something else right now. But Ticky just doesn't strike me as the sort to abstain. He wants to have fun, and he's not uncontrollable about it, but it's what he wants and why, if you could so easily take what you want, would you choose not to?
However, while Ticky's choices to, you know, be a crazed killer are kinda. Crazy. He never really ACTS insane unless you bring up his White life while he's in his Black. This also suggests strongly at conflict. Ticky never shows any real regret at killing Allen, but when confronted with Rabi who is furious over the death of his friend, Ticky talks about how he understands that losing a friend is painful, and makes his craziest face yet. And... I kinda suspect Ticky did kill his own friend at some point. And wouldn't killing someone you love and yet still ENJOYING it drive you crazy too?
But, again! Speculation there. The fact remains that while Ticky is capable of controlling himself, he enjoys killing people, admits to it, seeks it out. He goes out of his way to make it slow and terrifying for them, is annoyed when they don't react, and gets pissed off when they come back to life on him. So despite the fact that he acts normal 95% of the time, he's pretty zen about doing really evil shit, and that means he's probably a lot crazier than he seems.
So Does He Really Care? GOOD QUESTION. I debated this a lot back before I apped him, and decided to just avoid the issue as much as possible. The fact is, Ticky is intelligent and perfectly capable of being a manipulative bastard. Depending on HOW fixated he is on pleasure, he might not truly care about his friends so much as enjoy their company. It's also possible he finds pleasure in HAVING them as friends, in manipulating them, or... as my guess goes. Ticky can't let go of his White life, as suggested by the fact that he sometimes goes crazy when he thinks about it, and despite no longer being human enough to feel love for his friends, clings to the echo of that.
Going by canon info there is really no way to say. He genuinely seems to enjoy the company of his friends. But does that mean he would die for them? Protect them? Cry at their deaths? Was he ever that sort of person, is he still, or did he lose any possibility of it when he became a Noah and gained a fixation on pleasure?
I... think he really does care for them. There is a chapter cover which says, roughly, "I love people, I kill that which I love". I do think he really LIKES people, and he really CARES for his friends. But being wrong about that would be a huge character. Thing. That I don't want have to retcon, so I've tried to avoid it.
So What is Aviy Freaking Out About? I'M NOT FREAKING OUT. However, Ticky is having a lot of interesting development at camp and I feel the need to summarize it. And figure out how much of it is actually affecting him and how much he's just going along with.
The key point to this, really, is Mika. Which I'm sure his mun is just THRILLED about. But the truth is that while there are a lot of people in camp Ticky is fond of (Yuujirou, Tohru-chan, Luke, Roy, etc) he could kill all of you, enjoy it, and not hesitate much. It doesn't mean he WANTS to. As I play him, the only people he walks around and actively feels the urge to kill is the Exorcists and the Angels. But he doesn't like anyone enough that he would lose any sleep over killing them.
Except Mika.
When you get right down to it, it's not really the fact that Mika is cute and lovable. All this does is make Ticky fond of him in the same way he's fond of other cute and lovable people he would still kill. The key is, I think, that Mika knows what Ticky is and doesn't balk at it.
Keep in mind here, Ticky lives entirely separate lives for a reason more than fun. He... doesn't have the option indulging in both lives within one form. If you're a psychopathic killer, people shun you. He can't lives his White life in his black form, or his Black life in his white form. I don't think Ticky really has a complex over this. He hasn't been SECRETLY PINING AWAY for someone who will accept him. Afterall, as long as he gets to have his fun? He's cool. But the fact remains that while Ticky wasn't looking for acceptance, he did find it, or something very close to it. Mika is the best of both worlds for Ticky, he's fun and someone Ticky likes hanging out with, and he's someone Ticky can fight with, make crazy faces at and fantasize about killing and Mika won't take it too personally or hate him for it. Hell, Ticky nearly killed Rabi and while Mika was MAD about it and BEAT HIS SHIT UP over it, he didn't shun him or treat him any differently.
It doesn't touch Ticky. Ticky doesn't really do emotional touching. But it does surprise him. And he enjoys it, to be able to more himself around one person than anyone else. It equates pretty easily. Both lives at once = more pleasure = happier Ticky.
But, of course, Mika is an angel. And as already established Ticky feels a compulsion to kill Exorcists, so angels are just a step above that. Furthermore, Mika is STRONG. Ticky has a lot of fun fighting him, but the more they fight and Ticky doesn't kill him, the more he wants to finish it.
The complicated part is that Ticky is getting to genuinely like Mika, and this is where I start to break my own rules. I honestly didn't think it would come up, but I have hit a point where I have to decide if Ticky is actually capable of caring, or if he's just good at pretending. I've gone the way of the former already, so I hope I'm right. But as much as Ticky is smart and capable, he never really comes across as someone manipulating everyone. And... having something like a friend in his Black form, who KNOWS what he's like, is really throwing him off. I suppose because he doesn't have to hide it, he gets to indulge in it, he can fight Mika, threaten him or just hang out with him as he pleases. But in the end what he pleases to do is to tear him apart, and...
He almost got there. When they were both women, Ticky as Belial and Mika as Chocolate. Ticky got his hand around Mika's heart and chose not to take it out.
This is a big thing for Ticky, though he isn't really thinking about it. I doubt he often chooses not to kill, and I bet he's never chosen not to kill an Exorcist. As in had his hand around a heart and decided to let them live. And... if he were in a Noah's body, he probably WOULD HAVE completed it. But Belial, crazy evil as she is, isn't like Ticky with the need to kill the holy things. So play it off as, without that Noah influence, Ticky was better about holding himself back from it.
Ticky was kinda... sad, after that. I think he got a look at himself as someone who came this close to killing a person he genuinely likes. And he can deal with being that sort of person, enjoy it even, but he's not so far gone he doesn't still realize that... it's kinda sad.
But he's Ticky, so he got over it. And once again Mika didn't hold it against him at all. Hell, Ticky got to molest him a little in order to change their bodies back. And sex IS a pleasure too, so... A+.
My confusion here though, is that all signs point to the fact that Ticky should be going crazier than normal. Conflicting urges to let Mika live and to kill him. To fight him but to hold back enough that he still loses. Overridden with the constant frustration of FIGHTING but never KILLING.
But yesterday he fought Mika and... he was pretty mellow. He wasn't as crazy as he was last time. At the end of it, when he lost, he had an urge to continue it, repressed it, and is cool with Mika using him for a piggy-back to the hospital. He did, when he though Mika had lost, have the urge to kill him. Might have gone through with it. But throughout the fight he both had fun and was mostly in possession of his right mind. Not to mention that the fight ended on good terms, so while Ticky WILL go disappear into Hobomode after he gets patched up, he doesn't have to, because there is no worry of Mika seeking retribution for something while he's weak.
And... I don't really know why. I don't quite know why NOT either, and that trips me up. Ticky doesn't have to be crazy all the time just 'cause he's Ticky. Even when he kills Allen the first time, fights him the second time, invites the exorcists to play his 'game', he's pretty sane through most of it. He has his dark moments, where the crazy creeps up. But you don't fully SEE IT until his White form clashes with his Black. And I suppose that's why Ii'm expecting it. Ticky around Mika IS his White life clashing with his Black and yet. It's not? He seems to have accepted it, maybe. The way he accepted become a Noah, the way he accepts abuse from his family, accepts losing to Allen, accepts his fate as a sacrifice for the Earl.
I'm okay with this for now, I think. But it has to eventually catch up to him. You just can't BE friends with someone you feel the compulsive need to kill and be alright with that. Ticky is good enough at resisting his urges that in day-to-day matters, he's fine. But what about when he really has a chance to kill Mika? He'll have to choose then, and what will that do to him?
... I think if he chose to kill Mika, it would drive him crazier. But maybe if he chooses to let him live, that does something else? It's the sane choice, afterall. I suppose it might just make him more conflicted, he's really not VERY conflicted now, but it exists. But then, it would really be bad for a Noah to be conflicted. The last time that happened the Earl killed the traitor, and Ticky himself assassinated everyone of the Noah's friends.
Not that Ticky would ever consider uh. Changing sides due to befriending an angel. But choosing his White side over his Black would give him a lot to think on. And maybe a lot to go crazier over too.
But as for why he seems okay now. Well... I guess I figured that out. He's accepted it. He enjoys it, afterall. Pleasure keeps Ticky happy. I'm sure he's aware that this will come to a bad head eventually, but Ticky isn't very good at taking preventative measures. He kills because he likes to kill, and he hangs out with people because he likes to do that too. If he wants to do both at once...? Well, double your pleasure. I don't think knowing that the end results will hurt him more will stop him from doing what he wants now.
Wow that was long. I feel better tho? Questions or concrit or whathaveyou, if you read this, are welcome.