Kiss Your Past Goodnight (And Let It Sleep) - Part 5
Kiss Your Past Goodnight (And Let It Sleep) - Part 5
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FM Session 05. 04/28
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(…)(…)(…)
Alright, Fox. Could you please do something for me?
(pause) (small smile) Sure.
Please ask your 'Greater Me' to come to you, okay?
(pause) He's here.
Now, please ask him if there's anything else… Some unclosed case we have to take care of, before we try to discover the problems you have with this mysterious soul you keep meeting.
(longer pause) Melissa.
We have to deal with your relationship with her soul?
Yes. (pause) With the reason we can never be together.
All right then. Take yourself to the life that was the most important one concerning your relationship with Melissa. Tell me what you see.
(long pause) I'm… I'm working in a house… I'm a woman… I take care of the kids… I think it's a pretty old life…
Where's Melissa?
She's my employer. She loves me.
Do you love her?
(pause) Yes. But we can never be together… We sneak out to the old barn… I'm happy when we're together.
What was the most important issue in this life? What happened to you and Melissa?
He was supposed to marry a girl from another town… He never met her, but… He didn't want to, he never even cared… He wanted me…
And what happened?
One of the boys on the farm learned about us… (shocked) (sobs) He killed Melissa! He shot him… From behind…
Why did he do that?
He loved me. I told him years ago I wouldn't be with him, but he still loved me.
You didn't love him?
I did… I will always love him… He's this mysterious soul. I will always love him… (cries) But I had kids and he was younger, so much younger… (sobs) I didn't want to ruin his life… And besides, I was afraid how Melissa would react…
What happened later?
I… I had to leave… But I managed somehow on my own until… (surprised) (unsure) I married Scully…
Did you love her in this life?
As much as I always do. I was never in love with her… (pause) Just as she never was in love with me… I was poor, I needed help for me and the kids… And Scully was there for me. (smiles) Like she always is. We're like soul-siblings or something… We're always there for each other.
Is this some kind of lesson for you?
No, Scully is not a lesson… Not really, tough I learned love… True love between friends… But she's just my friendly soul in this world… Always...
Do you remember what happened to that boy? That soul you keep meeting?
He got hung for what he had done.
Please, ask your 'Greater Me' why you saw exactly this memory? Why can you never be with Melissa?
(longer pause) It's not our fate to be together. (pause) We had to learn that. We had to learn not to stay with each other just because we feel something for each other. It's not the love we're waiting for. It's not the love we could have if we just gave up trying with each other…
Can 'Greater Me' show you the reason why you always cling to each other like that?
It's another memory… Older… Very old… I'm a young girl. Twelve? Maybe younger… I'm rich. I… I think I'm going to marry someone next week. Yes, our fathers agreed on that even before we were born. He's sixteen now… I love him very much… We are supposed to be together, but… (cries in pain)
What happened, Fox?
I died. I got sick. And I died. He was so sad… He was Melissa… 'Greater Me' says we were supposed to be together, because both of us couldn't be with the ones we were fated to.
Why is that?
Punishment. Melissa's fated one was punished… for something. They couldn't be together in that life… Mine… The mysterious soul, he's done something awful… (gasps) Something really awful… We couldn't be together for a very long time… I was supposed to live and learn with Melissa's soul until the end of her fated one's punishment…
But something went wrong?
Melissa… (sighs annoyed) She wanted me so much in this life, loved me so much… She lost her mind after she heard about my death… For the rest of her life she waited for me, ready to marry me… But I was dead. She still does that… She doesn't give her fated one a chance… She waits for me and gets into so much trouble… Oh, so much trouble…
And how is your soul reacting to it?
We're always brutally separated - sooner or later. But every time I see her soul I'm trying to be with her, I'm waiting for her, too… I want her to be happy, although she should accept happiness with her fated one.
Can they be together now?
(shrugs) The moment she'll let him… He was the girl from the other town that Melissa was supposed to marry before she got shot… His punishment is long over… He tried to reach her, but she was always with me… Or waiting for me. And I was there for her, too. I couldn't leave her like that…
But in this life she died long before you… Why did this happen?
Because she didn't accept her fated one again. And I couldn't be with her in this life… I shouldn't have been with her in past lives, but now… Now I can't.
Why is that?
Because the punishment of my fated one is finally over, too. And we can finally be together just as I wanted to, every time I saw his soul… Just as he wanted to, every time he saw mine…
Why aren't you together yet?
When we met… We were too used to difficulties between us… We made even more of a mess… (quiet tears) I'm not sure if we can manage to be together in this life.
Could you ask 'Greater Me' about that?
(long pause) (shocked) He… He said we have to be together. (shocked and scared) If we want to be given a chance for a next life at all…
(…)(…)(…)
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This time it was Amy who asked for a break. I can't really blame her, after what I told her during the last session… Souls don't stop their journey. They have lessons to learn and they will continue to come into the world for another life for as long as it will take them to learn everything. Then they can go to the happy, safe place full of light… They can go to the light and be perfect. My soul certainly wasn't perfect, so there was no reason for it to stop coming into the world. Unless of course there was no world to come back to… And that was what had scared Amy so much. Because I honestly can talk myself into believing we're not really reaching any deeper truth or something like that. That it's only my psyche and subconscious dealing with the mess in my head through vivid images.
I swear, listening to Scully for so many years taught me how to inspirationally babble scientific nonsense.
Amy, on the other hand, believed truthfully that what we discovered during her sessions was something that went much further than my sick psyche. Or hers, come to think of it. And for her to hear something that sounded like a sad promise of the end of the world from 'Greater Me' coming through my mouth… Well, let's say it shook her up pretty hard.
I don't blame her. On the contrary, I admired her guts when she called me a week later, stating we had to the increase amount of our meetings to twice a week. I agreed whole-heartedly, the job and lack of sleep be damned.
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