At Four A.M.
Seriously crappy but still. SPEED
Sorry. Here it is. And sorry for the crappy.
At four am, Taewoon gave up trying to sleep and got up, creeping from the bedroom into the kitchen. He had the recipe memorized, and he'd long ago learned to move around in silence, even when he was so frustrated he could make enough noise to raise the dead (also known as Noori - and his mind shied away from that painful memory). He pulled out the things he needed and started to mix, careful to keep everything quiet. The others needed their sleep; it would be another busy day.
"Hyung?"
Freezing an instant, Taewoon turned around to arch an eyebrow at SungMin, who looked incredibly young - like three years ago young - with one hand rubbing an eye, the other folded across his stomach. Taewoon smiled. "Go back to sleep, Minnie. It's too early for you to be up."
"You, too."
Taewoon smiled, brushed the flour off his hands, and turned SungMin around, pushing him gently toward his bed. "I haven't had any luck sleeping," he said. "I thought I'd make breakfast. No reason for you to be up if you can sleep. I'll wake you when it's ready."
To his relief, SungMin didn't seem to hear his admission that he couldn't sleep, and he watched as the magnae crawled back into bed and went right back to sleep. He closed the door almost completely, and went back to the kitchen.
He loved this recipe for times like this because he had to think about cooking. Some of them he could think about anything at all, but this required attention to detail to make it work right. He didn't even care if anyone ever noticed or commented; he needed the break from his thoughts, and this helped a lot.
"I thought you'd be up."
Taewoon finished sliding the pan into the oven, closed it, and turned around to look at Jungwoo, who managed to look no less asleep than SungMin, although he did sound more awake. "You look like you could sleep more."
"Probably," Jungwoo said, and rubbed his eyes. "How'd you get so quiet you didn't wake TaeHa?"
TaeWoon grinned. "Lots of practice," he said. "And he's exhausted, which helped. He didn't even stir when I put SungMin back to bed half an hour ago."
JungWoo laughed softly. "What was he doing up?"
"He wasn't awake enough to tell me," TaeWoon said, and turned Jungwoo around, giving him a nudge toward the bedrooms. "Go back to sleep. This won't be ready for an hour."
"Are you okay?" Jungwoo asked.
"Yes," TaeWoon lied, and gave him another nudge. "Go, or I'll make you clean this up."
That always worked; within seconds, Jungwoo had gone back to his bed. Smiling wryly, Taewoon went back to the kitchen. First he set the timer, and then he started on the dishes.
He'd never really liked washing dishes, but keeping it quiet made it a little better. A very little. Still, it kept his mind firmly on the dishes, another way to keep his mind from going in circles. He only noticed someone had joined him when the pile of wet dishes next to the sink started to shrink instead of continuing to grow. "You're really out of it," Jongkook said when TaeWoon turned to look at him.
"What are you doing up?" Taewoon asked, and went back to the last of the dishes.
"I have no idea. Nerves, I think. You?"
Taewoon shrugged. "Couldn't sleep," he said, attention still on keeping everything quiet.
"You've been up all night?"
"On and off," Taewoon told him. "I'm rested enough."
"You're going to fall asleep on SungMin's knee again."
Taewoon smiled at him. "Is that so bad? Maybe I'll just lean on you and go to sleep," he teased.
JongKook grinned back at him, chuckling under his breath, and grabbed another bowl. Taewoon let the water out of the sink and found another towel to help dry. "You know," Jongkook said as he put the measuring cups away, "we'll be okay."
Taewoon didn't answer, continuing to blindly dry the dishes in front of him. He knew why Soomi had left, and it'd had nothing to do with the rumors (no, call them the lies they were) CCM had 'let leak' about bullying. He felt that pressure now, earlier than she had, but still there because of the past and what had happened last time.
JongKook's hand felt heavy on his shoulder. "Hyung," he said gently. "We'll be okay."
"I hope so," Taewoon managed to get out, still trying to avoid it, avoid the fact that by the end of this weekend, there would be no guarantees about anything. He could feel the abyss of the last two years stretching out under his feet again, one wrong step....
JongKook's hand tightened on his shoulder. "We will," he said, and the ground felt steady again.
Taewoon nodded, managing half a smile. "We should finish these dishes, or I'll get in trouble," he said.
JongKook smiled at him and picked up the next thing. "That smells really good," he said as they finished with the last of the dishes.
"Hopefully it tastes as good," TaeWoon said. He took the towel from JongKook's hands. "Thanks for your help. Go back to bed."
JongKook laughed softly. "And do what?"
"Pretend to sleep."
"What are you going to do?"
"The same." Taewoon checked the timer - still plenty of time - and then turned out the lights and followed JongKook into the bedroom.
He didn't know if he believed JongKook, who knew best of the four new members of the group just what they went through, if not quite enough. He didn't know firsthand the way it felt, but he'd observed it in TaeWoon, and in SungMin and Jungwoo, on the bad days. He'd seen KwangHaeng and Noori go, felt a bit what they did. But it was all fractions. "And pointless," Taewoon muttered, and pulled the blankets over his head.
Something heavy landed on him, causing a grunt, and he lay still for a moment, trying to figure out who - and why - that had happened. "What's pointless?" SeJoon's entirely too sleepy voice asked, muffled through Taewoon's blankets.
"Thinking. Get off," Taewoon said, sounding much less firm that he wanted to.
"Don't think. Sleep."
"What are you doing up?"
"I'm not up."
Taewoon laughed. "You're not in your bed."
"Making sure you sleep," SeJoon mumbled.
"If I don't hear the timer, breakfast will be burned."
"Is that what that heavenly smell is?" He sounded a bit more awake.
"Yes. But there's still at least half an hour left. Go get back in your bed and sleep."
"But you're comfortable, Hyung."
That sounded just a bit too much like something Taewoon would say (had said) to let him lean on one of them, and he scowled. "Right," he said softly, and slid his hands down to SeJoon's ribs. Within seconds he was free, and he pulled the blankets back off his head and sat up. "You."
SeJoon didn't look half as asleep as he'd sounded, sitting on the floor next to the bed, grinning at him.
TaeWoon shook his head. "What are you doing up?"
SeJoon gestured to the doorway. "Good food. Are you serious? It really won't be done for half an hour?"
"About. If you don't believe me, you can check the timer. Quietly," he added as SeJoon scrambled to his feet. SeJoon grinned at him and slipped out.
Taewoon flopped back onto the bed and turned to face the wall, smiling. No matter what happened, he was glad for the time with these guys, if only because they made everything better. The whole feeling of the dorm had changed, things just felt....
"Hyung?"
It surprised him it had taken TaeHa this long to wake up. "Yeah? What are you doing up?" TaeWoon asked, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He rubbed his eyes. Oh, great, NOW he thought he could sleep.
"SungMin's talking in his sleep again." TaeHa leaned against the door frame, half in the room.
TaeWoon laughed softly and got up. "Did you try talking back to him?"
"Yeah, but he tells me to shut up."
"Tell him to shut up back," YooHwan muttered from the top bunk, and then he sat up, probably, because his next words weren't so muffled. "What's that?"
"Breakfast," TaeWoon said.
"Only 20 minutes!" SeJoon called relatively quietly, which didn't seem to matter because the light sleeper had already awoken. Taewoon figured he'd seen TaeHa and decided he didn't need to stay quiet any more.
"Go wake him up, it's close enough. And JungWoo."
"Yes, hyung," TaeHa mumbled, and Taewoon could only guess he was still tired, because no one willingly woke Jungwoo up.
Breakfast was loud, enjoyable, and yummy. The manager looked surprised when he walked in to find everyone dressed and almost ready, with just the last minute running around to do. As this was what usually made them late, they actually left on time, and the manager looked at Taewoon. "What happened?" he asked.
Taewoon shrugged. "I made breakfast, I think," he said. "I mean, I know I made breakfast, but I think that's what got them up and moving." He rubbed his eyes and lay his head back, but that turned out to be dangerous and he sat straight up again before he could nod off.
Yeah, today was going to be a long day.
They were all the way downstairs, heading for something to eat, when SungMin grabbed JungWoo's arm. "Where's Hyung?" he asked.
Jungwoo frowned at him. "I don't know, did he leave with us?"
"I thought he was right behind me," TaeHa spoke up.
SungMin glanced at JungWoo, then let him go and took off at a run back toward the elevator. Jungwoo took off after him, and by the time the elevator arrived, the rest of them had joined them. "What's wrong?" YooHwan asked as they crowded in, and SungMin selected the floor of the practice room.
"Hopefully nothing," JongKook said, leaning against the wall, looking almost as worried as SungMin. Jungwoo knew he'd been through the worst of everything - or what JungWoo considered the worst - so he patted JongKook's shoulder.
The elevator opened on the floor they wanted, and SungMin took off at a run toward the practice room, JungWoo and JongKook right behind him. The others followed after, still looking pretty confused. They'd either ask or drop it, and he couldn't really care about that right now.
SungMin reached the room and opened the door, then stopped. JungWoo and JongKook caught up to him, crashing into him on the way, and Jungwoo relaxed.
"He said he hadn't slept much," JongKook said as the other three arrived. "On and off all night."
"Well, that explains things," Jungwoo said, and laughed softly. "Come on. We'll bring him something to eat." He herded them all out, glancing back once to smile at Taewoon, crashed on the floor under the mirrors, his coat in a ball under his head for a pillow, looking (finally) at peace.
Sorry. Here it is. And sorry for the crappy.
At four am, Taewoon gave up trying to sleep and got up, creeping from the bedroom into the kitchen. He had the recipe memorized, and he'd long ago learned to move around in silence, even when he was so frustrated he could make enough noise to raise the dead (also known as Noori - and his mind shied away from that painful memory). He pulled out the things he needed and started to mix, careful to keep everything quiet. The others needed their sleep; it would be another busy day.
"Hyung?"
Freezing an instant, Taewoon turned around to arch an eyebrow at SungMin, who looked incredibly young - like three years ago young - with one hand rubbing an eye, the other folded across his stomach. Taewoon smiled. "Go back to sleep, Minnie. It's too early for you to be up."
"You, too."
Taewoon smiled, brushed the flour off his hands, and turned SungMin around, pushing him gently toward his bed. "I haven't had any luck sleeping," he said. "I thought I'd make breakfast. No reason for you to be up if you can sleep. I'll wake you when it's ready."
To his relief, SungMin didn't seem to hear his admission that he couldn't sleep, and he watched as the magnae crawled back into bed and went right back to sleep. He closed the door almost completely, and went back to the kitchen.
He loved this recipe for times like this because he had to think about cooking. Some of them he could think about anything at all, but this required attention to detail to make it work right. He didn't even care if anyone ever noticed or commented; he needed the break from his thoughts, and this helped a lot.
"I thought you'd be up."
Taewoon finished sliding the pan into the oven, closed it, and turned around to look at Jungwoo, who managed to look no less asleep than SungMin, although he did sound more awake. "You look like you could sleep more."
"Probably," Jungwoo said, and rubbed his eyes. "How'd you get so quiet you didn't wake TaeHa?"
TaeWoon grinned. "Lots of practice," he said. "And he's exhausted, which helped. He didn't even stir when I put SungMin back to bed half an hour ago."
JungWoo laughed softly. "What was he doing up?"
"He wasn't awake enough to tell me," TaeWoon said, and turned Jungwoo around, giving him a nudge toward the bedrooms. "Go back to sleep. This won't be ready for an hour."
"Are you okay?" Jungwoo asked.
"Yes," TaeWoon lied, and gave him another nudge. "Go, or I'll make you clean this up."
That always worked; within seconds, Jungwoo had gone back to his bed. Smiling wryly, Taewoon went back to the kitchen. First he set the timer, and then he started on the dishes.
He'd never really liked washing dishes, but keeping it quiet made it a little better. A very little. Still, it kept his mind firmly on the dishes, another way to keep his mind from going in circles. He only noticed someone had joined him when the pile of wet dishes next to the sink started to shrink instead of continuing to grow. "You're really out of it," Jongkook said when TaeWoon turned to look at him.
"What are you doing up?" Taewoon asked, and went back to the last of the dishes.
"I have no idea. Nerves, I think. You?"
Taewoon shrugged. "Couldn't sleep," he said, attention still on keeping everything quiet.
"You've been up all night?"
"On and off," Taewoon told him. "I'm rested enough."
"You're going to fall asleep on SungMin's knee again."
Taewoon smiled at him. "Is that so bad? Maybe I'll just lean on you and go to sleep," he teased.
JongKook grinned back at him, chuckling under his breath, and grabbed another bowl. Taewoon let the water out of the sink and found another towel to help dry. "You know," Jongkook said as he put the measuring cups away, "we'll be okay."
Taewoon didn't answer, continuing to blindly dry the dishes in front of him. He knew why Soomi had left, and it'd had nothing to do with the rumors (no, call them the lies they were) CCM had 'let leak' about bullying. He felt that pressure now, earlier than she had, but still there because of the past and what had happened last time.
JongKook's hand felt heavy on his shoulder. "Hyung," he said gently. "We'll be okay."
"I hope so," Taewoon managed to get out, still trying to avoid it, avoid the fact that by the end of this weekend, there would be no guarantees about anything. He could feel the abyss of the last two years stretching out under his feet again, one wrong step....
JongKook's hand tightened on his shoulder. "We will," he said, and the ground felt steady again.
Taewoon nodded, managing half a smile. "We should finish these dishes, or I'll get in trouble," he said.
JongKook smiled at him and picked up the next thing. "That smells really good," he said as they finished with the last of the dishes.
"Hopefully it tastes as good," TaeWoon said. He took the towel from JongKook's hands. "Thanks for your help. Go back to bed."
JongKook laughed softly. "And do what?"
"Pretend to sleep."
"What are you going to do?"
"The same." Taewoon checked the timer - still plenty of time - and then turned out the lights and followed JongKook into the bedroom.
He didn't know if he believed JongKook, who knew best of the four new members of the group just what they went through, if not quite enough. He didn't know firsthand the way it felt, but he'd observed it in TaeWoon, and in SungMin and Jungwoo, on the bad days. He'd seen KwangHaeng and Noori go, felt a bit what they did. But it was all fractions. "And pointless," Taewoon muttered, and pulled the blankets over his head.
Something heavy landed on him, causing a grunt, and he lay still for a moment, trying to figure out who - and why - that had happened. "What's pointless?" SeJoon's entirely too sleepy voice asked, muffled through Taewoon's blankets.
"Thinking. Get off," Taewoon said, sounding much less firm that he wanted to.
"Don't think. Sleep."
"What are you doing up?"
"I'm not up."
Taewoon laughed. "You're not in your bed."
"Making sure you sleep," SeJoon mumbled.
"If I don't hear the timer, breakfast will be burned."
"Is that what that heavenly smell is?" He sounded a bit more awake.
"Yes. But there's still at least half an hour left. Go get back in your bed and sleep."
"But you're comfortable, Hyung."
That sounded just a bit too much like something Taewoon would say (had said) to let him lean on one of them, and he scowled. "Right," he said softly, and slid his hands down to SeJoon's ribs. Within seconds he was free, and he pulled the blankets back off his head and sat up. "You."
SeJoon didn't look half as asleep as he'd sounded, sitting on the floor next to the bed, grinning at him.
TaeWoon shook his head. "What are you doing up?"
SeJoon gestured to the doorway. "Good food. Are you serious? It really won't be done for half an hour?"
"About. If you don't believe me, you can check the timer. Quietly," he added as SeJoon scrambled to his feet. SeJoon grinned at him and slipped out.
Taewoon flopped back onto the bed and turned to face the wall, smiling. No matter what happened, he was glad for the time with these guys, if only because they made everything better. The whole feeling of the dorm had changed, things just felt....
"Hyung?"
It surprised him it had taken TaeHa this long to wake up. "Yeah? What are you doing up?" TaeWoon asked, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He rubbed his eyes. Oh, great, NOW he thought he could sleep.
"SungMin's talking in his sleep again." TaeHa leaned against the door frame, half in the room.
TaeWoon laughed softly and got up. "Did you try talking back to him?"
"Yeah, but he tells me to shut up."
"Tell him to shut up back," YooHwan muttered from the top bunk, and then he sat up, probably, because his next words weren't so muffled. "What's that?"
"Breakfast," TaeWoon said.
"Only 20 minutes!" SeJoon called relatively quietly, which didn't seem to matter because the light sleeper had already awoken. Taewoon figured he'd seen TaeHa and decided he didn't need to stay quiet any more.
"Go wake him up, it's close enough. And JungWoo."
"Yes, hyung," TaeHa mumbled, and Taewoon could only guess he was still tired, because no one willingly woke Jungwoo up.
Breakfast was loud, enjoyable, and yummy. The manager looked surprised when he walked in to find everyone dressed and almost ready, with just the last minute running around to do. As this was what usually made them late, they actually left on time, and the manager looked at Taewoon. "What happened?" he asked.
Taewoon shrugged. "I made breakfast, I think," he said. "I mean, I know I made breakfast, but I think that's what got them up and moving." He rubbed his eyes and lay his head back, but that turned out to be dangerous and he sat straight up again before he could nod off.
Yeah, today was going to be a long day.
They were all the way downstairs, heading for something to eat, when SungMin grabbed JungWoo's arm. "Where's Hyung?" he asked.
Jungwoo frowned at him. "I don't know, did he leave with us?"
"I thought he was right behind me," TaeHa spoke up.
SungMin glanced at JungWoo, then let him go and took off at a run back toward the elevator. Jungwoo took off after him, and by the time the elevator arrived, the rest of them had joined them. "What's wrong?" YooHwan asked as they crowded in, and SungMin selected the floor of the practice room.
"Hopefully nothing," JongKook said, leaning against the wall, looking almost as worried as SungMin. Jungwoo knew he'd been through the worst of everything - or what JungWoo considered the worst - so he patted JongKook's shoulder.
The elevator opened on the floor they wanted, and SungMin took off at a run toward the practice room, JungWoo and JongKook right behind him. The others followed after, still looking pretty confused. They'd either ask or drop it, and he couldn't really care about that right now.
SungMin reached the room and opened the door, then stopped. JungWoo and JongKook caught up to him, crashing into him on the way, and Jungwoo relaxed.
"He said he hadn't slept much," JongKook said as the other three arrived. "On and off all night."
"Well, that explains things," Jungwoo said, and laughed softly. "Come on. We'll bring him something to eat." He herded them all out, glancing back once to smile at Taewoon, crashed on the floor under the mirrors, his coat in a ball under his head for a pillow, looking (finally) at peace.