answer to a question

[anamacha]

NB: I am going dark shortly after this. Though I am not using the userpictures or made posts about it, I feel strongly enough about censorship to at least pay lip service to tomorrow's Content Strike.

ed using In response to a recent ask/tell poll, the lovely ladytairngire asks:

A) Do you subscribe to the idea that illness and injuries are more than just

Comments

[ladytairngire]

I suppose it does.

That is a frustrating place to be - to assume there is a reason yet have no idea what it is. Hell, it could be something as out-there as "if the equivalent of a 155mm howitzer had not prevented you from continuing on your day, you may have gone on to become a major asshole who's behavior would set off a chain of events that would culminate in world-wide famine." I mean, hell.
Hell.
But you're here - and there must be a reason for THAT.
Hope you make the best of it.

[anamacha]

yes, you could say that -- it is a rather frustrating place to be. I wish I knew what that reason was, but your question sort of presupposed that I (or anyone) would have the intellect to second-guess the Universe or the Divine, and ... well, I am not quite THAT full of myself.

You're right about your howitzer scenario -- it might have been prevention on the part of the Unknowable. But I can't help but wonder -- how much better off would I have been had the accident not happened to me? What would I have gone on to become?

Of course,I'll never know now, at least in this lifetime. I'm trying to make the best of it, but I can't help but wonder.

[ladytairngire]

I accept that there are things that we are not meant to understand, even things that have direct consequences on our lives. But on the other hand, I tend to think that we are partners in our own destiny. Senior partners. Generally. So the presupposition is intentional. In this sense, I think it's awesome to be full of yourself! You know, the Universe can't steer a parked car.
Or maybe it could, but it's a hell of a lot easier if someone turns the key and the wheel and works the pedal thingies. :)

[anamacha]

huh, interesting!

I have long believed in free will -- we can make our own choices and such. But destiny and divinity? I've thought that if it existed (which I have precious little evidence of), then it was generally disinterested in me personally. IOW, I don't think that they take a direct hand in my life.

With regard to my accident -- maybe they have. But if that is true, then why have they not taken a more direct or obvious hand in my life afterwards? Why can I not percieve the clues that they are presumably dropping? Why has my ambition and motivation essentially vanished?