I wrote today.

[anamacha]

omission of wordsI am made from words, and my life

Comments

[janezanaddict]

I am so proud of you for writing. I need to take some inspiration from you my friend and dig deep.

[anamacha]

thank you! I've been writing other things, but this is the first "okay for general consumption" in a while.

criticism is welcomed, if you have any.

[janezanaddict]

You will never hear criticism from me because I am a true believer is just purging it out and letting it be what it is...as you can tell from MY "poetry", lol

[anamacha]

I view criticism as somethign that helps me grow -- I like hearing about what other people think might make my poetry better (see below for a fine example). USUALLY my poems, when posted, are finished works, but I'm always amenable to reviewing them and making them better.

Your works are more prose poems, but they are fine in and of myself. I typically do not tender criticism unless asked for, for much the same reason as you ...

[kylakae]

Most excellent!

[anamacha]

thank you! what did yo ulike about it, might I ask?

and criticism is welcomed, if you have any.

[kylakae]

I like the imagery it evokes. I can see your father buried beneath stacks of papers and you, the small child standing by, waiting.

I think it might have a bit more power if you addressed it directly to him, almost accusatory... if that makes sense?

YOU who taught me to be so alien,
I do not know how
to include you in my life.

[anamacha]

I see your point, and I'll have a go at that soon. I'll likelyu post the new revision and we'll compare, eh? :)

[wardellen]

I like the way it balances - you don't know how to include him because he didn't include you, he was always gone but he never left. It feels very complete to me, in that sense.