So last night...
...I was listening to Tori's cover of All Through the Night - located conveniently here... ^_~ -http://s21.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=26M0E3H6JK0HY3CIU1CN930026, and then there was this picture on Nagayan's blog... http://www1.imgsp.net/view/nagayama/050912.jpg and well, the end result was this -
Title: All Through the Night
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None, really. Work-safe I think. *nods*
Summary: Tuti and Nagayan in Shinjuku at 2AM, a fight, and some fluff. ^_^
The lights from the billboards flashed and hummed around him, and Nagayan realized that he was a little dizzy, though he really wasn’t sure if it was from the lights, or the sounds, or just this insanely disorienting feeling he always got when his stomach flipped around like this, usually because of Tuti. In this case, he knew it was because he was fighting with Tuti though, and had been for a while now. Tuti’s hand was gripping his shoulder, stopping Nagayan from moving away like he wanted to and Tuti’s eyes were dark, and surprisingly aggressive.
It was late and they’d been wandering around for what felt like hours now, and… Well, Nagayan couldn’t even remember how it had started, but he was getting tired and he really wished Tuti would just drop it already.
The air was humid and heavy, and Nagayan shook off Tuti’s hand roughly, relieved somehow, that he was able to remove this point of contact. He started to walk forward again through the crowd, aimlessly, as he felt like he had been doing all night. This was really stupid, he was thinking. He knew that they were never going to find whatever club it was that Kime had told them about, and now Tuti was angry, and he was angry, and this evening just seemed to be quickly turning into a huge waste of time.
“Dammit, Takashi, stop!”
Nagayan was startled when Tuti quickened his pace and stepped in front of him, blocking his path, and causing several people to jostle past them. It was close to 2AM, and still, the crowd of people seemed endless here. And it was funny, it didn’t seem to matter how big of a fight they were having, no one seemed to notice them. Everything that was happening between them seemed to somehow fade in and out of focus the longer they stood here, blending in with the fast-paced landscape. This was probably one of the reasons why Nagayan had declined Tuti’s suggestion, several times tonight, to stop and sit down somewhere where they could talk more easily. It was a valid suggestion, but it still seemed really funny and kind of ironic to Nagayan, the thought of Tuti trying to get him to stop moving, when it was usually the other way around.
Nagayan sighed, not for the first time, and wondered why the hell he had brought Tuti with him tonight.
Tuti had laughed at first, when Nagayan told him his plans for the evening, and had remarked jokingly that only Nagayan and possibly Kimeru would have “errands” to run in Shinjuku after midnight. And this was probably true… But Kimeru had suggested that they check out a few venues for him, and it seemed like a good idea at the time, though now… Now Nagayan wasn’t so sure. He was tired; he’d worked all day, and it would be another early start the next morning. He’d tried to take a nap in the middle of the day, around lunchtime, but he just had too many things on his mind to really relax.
He had asked Tuti to come with him earlier because thought he would enjoy the company, and because he had wanted Tuti’s advice on this upcoming project, but Nagayan wondered if he hadn’t made the wrong decision now, as Tuti gripped his arm tightly and half-dragged him over to the nearest street-corner.
“Tuti, stop it.” Nagayan glared and rubbed his arm where Tuti had just grabbed him. “That hurt. And what did I do, anyway? I swear, you’re the biggest baby sometimes.”
Tuti laughed a little bitterly, “Well, if anyone’s being immature here, it’s certainly not me.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? If this is about those guys at- ”
“It’s not about that.” Tuti was staring at him, and Nagayan recognized the look in his eyes. It was the look that meant that Tuti had been holding something in for a long time and that he was going to suddenly let it all out in a big breath. It was the only way Tuti ever seemed to tell him anything anymore, so Nagayan found that he had gotten used to it. He closed his eyes and waited for whatever accusations Tuti had for him this time.
“What I mean is that you still haven’t admitted that you have a boyfriend to anyone other than Kimeru, you’re still hiding from me in public, and you still won’t let me touch you, even in a huge crowd like this, when no one is looking!”
“That’s not true,” Nagayan said quietly, knowing that Tuti was just angry, and that he shouldn’t let it get to him, but feeling the last of his remaining energy fade away anyway, because despite everything else, and despite the fact that he had been expecting something like this, it still hurt to hear Tuti say it.
“Isn’t it?”
Tuti laughed again, and Nagayan stared at the space in front of him, suddenly wishing he could lose himself in the crowd again, but knowing that he was frozen to this spot right now, and that his legs probably wouldn’t let him move very far, even if he wanted to. He looked at Tuti, and waited.
Tuti leaned towards him, touching his arm, warm fingers wrapping around the skin that Nagayan could feel was moist with sweat, and gripping him a little tighter than was comfortable. Nagayan turned his head and started to pull away his arm.
Moving away like this sometimes was just instinct; Nagayan couldn’t really explain it. Before certain things had happened between them, he had no problem touching Tuti whenever he could manage it, but now… now he wasn’t sure.
When Tuti touched him now, he still shivered just like he always had, but it was different. Now when he shivered it called to mind a thousand memories - of nights, and afternoons and mornings, memories where Tuti was naked, and he was naked, and memories where they were making beautiful love together, and so… no… he didn’t want to be reminded of that right now, he wanted to save that for later, and…
Tuti had let go of his arm with a slight push that threw Nagayan off-balance for a second, and brought his thoughts back to the present. He had no idea what the real reason was for Tuti’s behavior tonight, and he really didn’t have the energy to try to figure it out right now. Besides, he was thinking, it was hard to concentrate with Tuti staring at him like that.
“What?” Nagayan asked after a second, honestly surprised that Tuti hadn’t left him in an angry huff already.
Tuti’s voice was quiet, and Nagayan was surprised that he could hear him so clearly over the din behind them. “Are you embarrassed to be with me? Is that it?”
Nagayan felt his face getting warm as he entertained the possibility that this was a serious question from Tuti, and that he wasn’t kidding.
“No, of course not,” Nagayan said, realizing how tired his voice sounded. “How can you even ask me that?”
A month ago, hearing this from Tuti would have made him really sad, but… Now, he realized that he was just frustrated. He was tired of Tuti constantly turning him into something he wasn’t, and putting words in his mouth all the time, when Nagayan knew that he had already showed Tuti in a million different ways how special he was to him, how completely in love he was, and how happy he was, usually, just having Tuti next to him.
“Look, Tuti,” Nagayan cut off whatever Tuti had been about to say and straightened his back a little, turning his head from side to side and trying to relieve some of the tension that he felt settling into his neck and shoulders. “I have to be up in four hours. I’m going home.”
Tuti looked surprised, “What about Kimeru? The club?”
Nagayan shrugged, “I’ll call him tomorrow. He’s not waiting for us.”
Nagayan stepped back out into the crowd and let the bustling warmth pass over him again, picking a direction at random. He hadn’t bothered to say goodnight to Tuti because, well, it seemed silly when he was sure Tuti was still angry with him anyway. After a second though, Nagayan turned around.
Tuti was right behind him, looking at him with a tentative smile, as he asked him curiously, “Where did you say you were going?”
“Home,” Nagayan told him, studying Tuti, and trying to figure out what he was thinking, though he was sure this would prove impossible, as always.
Tuti nodded, “Well, in that case…”
Nagayan sighed and looked at Tuti sideways. “In that case, what?”
“Do you need someone to walk you home?”
“No,” Nagayan said quickly.
“Do you want someone to walk you home?”
“Does that someone have to be you?” Nagayan was smiling though, just a little.
“Of course it has to be me!” Tuti laughed, throwing an arm around Nagayan’s shoulder, pulling him close for a second, the sides of their bodies meeting with warm contact.
“I’m sorry,” Tuti said after a few minutes, as they fell into step together. “It’s been a long day, and I missed you.”
Nagayan pouted a little, because he realized that he had missed Tuti too, even though they had spent the previous night together, and half of that morning. Still, he was tired of how Tuti seemed to take this out on him all the time. “I know, but you always do this,” Nagayan said, glancing up at Tuti out of the corner of his eye. “You always say things like that to make me feel guilty when you already know how I feel.”
“I hate that,” Nagayan added as they turned away from the glowing hum of Shinjuku, and rounded the corner of a side street, the lights fading quickly into the distance, an immediate sense of almost sleepy calm settling in around them.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Nagayan shrugged, and sighed. “I’m sorry too. I just… I don’t know. I didn’t feel like talking tonight.” He looked at Tuti, “I had a really bad day. All I wanted to do was find that club and…” He sighed.
“You had a bad day?” Tuti looked surprised, and a little concerned now. “Why didn’t you just say that?”
Nagayan shrugged again. “Too tired.”
“I wonder why?”
Nagayan glared at Tuti, knowing exactly why he was so tired right now, and exactly why he’d probably be tired again, tomorrow. They both laughed though, after a second, and Nagayan realized that this was a rather silly thing to be complaining about.
They had arrived at Nagayan’s apartment, and Tuti looked over at him, a familiar question in his eyes.
Nagayan sighed again, but he was smiling a little, “Mou, Tuti, I really don’t think I can pull an all-nighter again tonight! This is why I’m always so grumpy. We have to stop doing this!”
Tuti looked down at Nagayan with a fake expression of shock on his face, “We have to stop?”
“On days when I work - yes!” Nagayan laughed as Tuti pulled him into a quick hug.
“Takashi, I am capable of just getting into bed and sleeping, you know,” he said quietly, pressing a light kiss to Nagayan’s ear.
“Hai, hai…” Nagayan said wearily, “Come on.” He gestured for Tuti to follow him as he began to climb the stairs to his apartment, and he blinked when Tuti rushed past him, bounding up the stairs two at a time.
When Nagayan finally reached the top of the stairs, Tuti was already fumbling with the lock. He felt himself being pulled through the doorway after a second, and he hurriedly kicked off his shoes in the darkened apartment as the door clicked softly behind them.
Tuti was leading him down the familiar path to the bedroom, and he knew suddenly that despite his best efforts, there was no way they were just going to go to bed and sleep tonight.
Well… at least his rehearsal started and ended early, Nagayan was thinking, as he smiled, allowing himself to be pushed back on the bed, feeling warm breath against his cheek and the familiar press of Tuti’s lips on his, as he suddenly found himself forgetting all about sleep.
He could feel Tuti asking for his forgiveness again though, through this kiss, and Nagayan resisted for a few moments before realizing that it was always the same. He just couldn’t resist. Not really, anyway. He would forgive Tuti, even when he couldn’t remember now what the problem had been in the first place, and Tuti would forgive him, and this night would fade in to the next morning, as always.
Nagayan moaned a little into Tuti’s mouth, and he felt strong hands moving to his hips, tugging at the rough fabric of his jeans, as their bodies moved together comfortably, though not without the slightest hint of urgency.
And really, Nagayan was thinking, as he allowed their kiss to deepen….this was ok. It was ok, and when it came down to it, he really couldn’t imagine himself having it any other way. He was thinking about apologizing to Tuti again though, for ignoring him earlier, and for not talking to him and telling him what was wrong when he should have, but Tuti’s fingers had slid under his waist, and Nagayan arched his back, allowing Tuti to pull off his jeans. And suddenly Nagayan realized that everything else might have to wait until tomorrow, because this just felt too good.
“So have you finally forgiven me?” Tuti looked down at him after a second with half-lidded eyes, and Nagayan laughed, though it turned into a moan, as Tuti moved his hips, pressing their bodies closer together for a second before he looked down at Nagayan again.
“Come on, you know it doesn’t count unless you say it.” And Tuti was watching him with an amused half-smile.
Nagayan sighed, “I forgive you, ok? Now…”
But Tuti was already kissing him, and suddenly Nagayan realized that despite the fact that he felt really good right now, and that his tension from before had all but vanished, the best thing about how he was feeling was that he knew that he meant what he just said, honestly and truly.
And then Nagayan realized that he was tired of thinking. He pulled Tuti towards him, and put all of his energy into kissing him, realizing that his stomach was turning over again, but that this time it was in anticipation of something that Nagayan already knew from experience would be really, really good. And this thought now filled him with eager anticipation as their kiss deepened with hunger and desire, and Nagayan realized that not only was the evening not a waste after all…once again, it was far from over.
Owari
Title: All Through the Night
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None, really. Work-safe I think. *nods*
Summary: Tuti and Nagayan in Shinjuku at 2AM, a fight, and some fluff. ^_^
The lights from the billboards flashed and hummed around him, and Nagayan realized that he was a little dizzy, though he really wasn’t sure if it was from the lights, or the sounds, or just this insanely disorienting feeling he always got when his stomach flipped around like this, usually because of Tuti. In this case, he knew it was because he was fighting with Tuti though, and had been for a while now. Tuti’s hand was gripping his shoulder, stopping Nagayan from moving away like he wanted to and Tuti’s eyes were dark, and surprisingly aggressive.
It was late and they’d been wandering around for what felt like hours now, and… Well, Nagayan couldn’t even remember how it had started, but he was getting tired and he really wished Tuti would just drop it already.
The air was humid and heavy, and Nagayan shook off Tuti’s hand roughly, relieved somehow, that he was able to remove this point of contact. He started to walk forward again through the crowd, aimlessly, as he felt like he had been doing all night. This was really stupid, he was thinking. He knew that they were never going to find whatever club it was that Kime had told them about, and now Tuti was angry, and he was angry, and this evening just seemed to be quickly turning into a huge waste of time.
“Dammit, Takashi, stop!”
Nagayan was startled when Tuti quickened his pace and stepped in front of him, blocking his path, and causing several people to jostle past them. It was close to 2AM, and still, the crowd of people seemed endless here. And it was funny, it didn’t seem to matter how big of a fight they were having, no one seemed to notice them. Everything that was happening between them seemed to somehow fade in and out of focus the longer they stood here, blending in with the fast-paced landscape. This was probably one of the reasons why Nagayan had declined Tuti’s suggestion, several times tonight, to stop and sit down somewhere where they could talk more easily. It was a valid suggestion, but it still seemed really funny and kind of ironic to Nagayan, the thought of Tuti trying to get him to stop moving, when it was usually the other way around.
Nagayan sighed, not for the first time, and wondered why the hell he had brought Tuti with him tonight.
Tuti had laughed at first, when Nagayan told him his plans for the evening, and had remarked jokingly that only Nagayan and possibly Kimeru would have “errands” to run in Shinjuku after midnight. And this was probably true… But Kimeru had suggested that they check out a few venues for him, and it seemed like a good idea at the time, though now… Now Nagayan wasn’t so sure. He was tired; he’d worked all day, and it would be another early start the next morning. He’d tried to take a nap in the middle of the day, around lunchtime, but he just had too many things on his mind to really relax.
He had asked Tuti to come with him earlier because thought he would enjoy the company, and because he had wanted Tuti’s advice on this upcoming project, but Nagayan wondered if he hadn’t made the wrong decision now, as Tuti gripped his arm tightly and half-dragged him over to the nearest street-corner.
“Tuti, stop it.” Nagayan glared and rubbed his arm where Tuti had just grabbed him. “That hurt. And what did I do, anyway? I swear, you’re the biggest baby sometimes.”
Tuti laughed a little bitterly, “Well, if anyone’s being immature here, it’s certainly not me.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? If this is about those guys at- ”
“It’s not about that.” Tuti was staring at him, and Nagayan recognized the look in his eyes. It was the look that meant that Tuti had been holding something in for a long time and that he was going to suddenly let it all out in a big breath. It was the only way Tuti ever seemed to tell him anything anymore, so Nagayan found that he had gotten used to it. He closed his eyes and waited for whatever accusations Tuti had for him this time.
“What I mean is that you still haven’t admitted that you have a boyfriend to anyone other than Kimeru, you’re still hiding from me in public, and you still won’t let me touch you, even in a huge crowd like this, when no one is looking!”
“That’s not true,” Nagayan said quietly, knowing that Tuti was just angry, and that he shouldn’t let it get to him, but feeling the last of his remaining energy fade away anyway, because despite everything else, and despite the fact that he had been expecting something like this, it still hurt to hear Tuti say it.
“Isn’t it?”
Tuti laughed again, and Nagayan stared at the space in front of him, suddenly wishing he could lose himself in the crowd again, but knowing that he was frozen to this spot right now, and that his legs probably wouldn’t let him move very far, even if he wanted to. He looked at Tuti, and waited.
Tuti leaned towards him, touching his arm, warm fingers wrapping around the skin that Nagayan could feel was moist with sweat, and gripping him a little tighter than was comfortable. Nagayan turned his head and started to pull away his arm.
Moving away like this sometimes was just instinct; Nagayan couldn’t really explain it. Before certain things had happened between them, he had no problem touching Tuti whenever he could manage it, but now… now he wasn’t sure.
When Tuti touched him now, he still shivered just like he always had, but it was different. Now when he shivered it called to mind a thousand memories - of nights, and afternoons and mornings, memories where Tuti was naked, and he was naked, and memories where they were making beautiful love together, and so… no… he didn’t want to be reminded of that right now, he wanted to save that for later, and…
Tuti had let go of his arm with a slight push that threw Nagayan off-balance for a second, and brought his thoughts back to the present. He had no idea what the real reason was for Tuti’s behavior tonight, and he really didn’t have the energy to try to figure it out right now. Besides, he was thinking, it was hard to concentrate with Tuti staring at him like that.
“What?” Nagayan asked after a second, honestly surprised that Tuti hadn’t left him in an angry huff already.
Tuti’s voice was quiet, and Nagayan was surprised that he could hear him so clearly over the din behind them. “Are you embarrassed to be with me? Is that it?”
Nagayan felt his face getting warm as he entertained the possibility that this was a serious question from Tuti, and that he wasn’t kidding.
“No, of course not,” Nagayan said, realizing how tired his voice sounded. “How can you even ask me that?”
A month ago, hearing this from Tuti would have made him really sad, but… Now, he realized that he was just frustrated. He was tired of Tuti constantly turning him into something he wasn’t, and putting words in his mouth all the time, when Nagayan knew that he had already showed Tuti in a million different ways how special he was to him, how completely in love he was, and how happy he was, usually, just having Tuti next to him.
“Look, Tuti,” Nagayan cut off whatever Tuti had been about to say and straightened his back a little, turning his head from side to side and trying to relieve some of the tension that he felt settling into his neck and shoulders. “I have to be up in four hours. I’m going home.”
Tuti looked surprised, “What about Kimeru? The club?”
Nagayan shrugged, “I’ll call him tomorrow. He’s not waiting for us.”
Nagayan stepped back out into the crowd and let the bustling warmth pass over him again, picking a direction at random. He hadn’t bothered to say goodnight to Tuti because, well, it seemed silly when he was sure Tuti was still angry with him anyway. After a second though, Nagayan turned around.
Tuti was right behind him, looking at him with a tentative smile, as he asked him curiously, “Where did you say you were going?”
“Home,” Nagayan told him, studying Tuti, and trying to figure out what he was thinking, though he was sure this would prove impossible, as always.
Tuti nodded, “Well, in that case…”
Nagayan sighed and looked at Tuti sideways. “In that case, what?”
“Do you need someone to walk you home?”
“No,” Nagayan said quickly.
“Do you want someone to walk you home?”
“Does that someone have to be you?” Nagayan was smiling though, just a little.
“Of course it has to be me!” Tuti laughed, throwing an arm around Nagayan’s shoulder, pulling him close for a second, the sides of their bodies meeting with warm contact.
“I’m sorry,” Tuti said after a few minutes, as they fell into step together. “It’s been a long day, and I missed you.”
Nagayan pouted a little, because he realized that he had missed Tuti too, even though they had spent the previous night together, and half of that morning. Still, he was tired of how Tuti seemed to take this out on him all the time. “I know, but you always do this,” Nagayan said, glancing up at Tuti out of the corner of his eye. “You always say things like that to make me feel guilty when you already know how I feel.”
“I hate that,” Nagayan added as they turned away from the glowing hum of Shinjuku, and rounded the corner of a side street, the lights fading quickly into the distance, an immediate sense of almost sleepy calm settling in around them.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Nagayan shrugged, and sighed. “I’m sorry too. I just… I don’t know. I didn’t feel like talking tonight.” He looked at Tuti, “I had a really bad day. All I wanted to do was find that club and…” He sighed.
“You had a bad day?” Tuti looked surprised, and a little concerned now. “Why didn’t you just say that?”
Nagayan shrugged again. “Too tired.”
“I wonder why?”
Nagayan glared at Tuti, knowing exactly why he was so tired right now, and exactly why he’d probably be tired again, tomorrow. They both laughed though, after a second, and Nagayan realized that this was a rather silly thing to be complaining about.
They had arrived at Nagayan’s apartment, and Tuti looked over at him, a familiar question in his eyes.
Nagayan sighed again, but he was smiling a little, “Mou, Tuti, I really don’t think I can pull an all-nighter again tonight! This is why I’m always so grumpy. We have to stop doing this!”
Tuti looked down at Nagayan with a fake expression of shock on his face, “We have to stop?”
“On days when I work - yes!” Nagayan laughed as Tuti pulled him into a quick hug.
“Takashi, I am capable of just getting into bed and sleeping, you know,” he said quietly, pressing a light kiss to Nagayan’s ear.
“Hai, hai…” Nagayan said wearily, “Come on.” He gestured for Tuti to follow him as he began to climb the stairs to his apartment, and he blinked when Tuti rushed past him, bounding up the stairs two at a time.
When Nagayan finally reached the top of the stairs, Tuti was already fumbling with the lock. He felt himself being pulled through the doorway after a second, and he hurriedly kicked off his shoes in the darkened apartment as the door clicked softly behind them.
Tuti was leading him down the familiar path to the bedroom, and he knew suddenly that despite his best efforts, there was no way they were just going to go to bed and sleep tonight.
Well… at least his rehearsal started and ended early, Nagayan was thinking, as he smiled, allowing himself to be pushed back on the bed, feeling warm breath against his cheek and the familiar press of Tuti’s lips on his, as he suddenly found himself forgetting all about sleep.
He could feel Tuti asking for his forgiveness again though, through this kiss, and Nagayan resisted for a few moments before realizing that it was always the same. He just couldn’t resist. Not really, anyway. He would forgive Tuti, even when he couldn’t remember now what the problem had been in the first place, and Tuti would forgive him, and this night would fade in to the next morning, as always.
Nagayan moaned a little into Tuti’s mouth, and he felt strong hands moving to his hips, tugging at the rough fabric of his jeans, as their bodies moved together comfortably, though not without the slightest hint of urgency.
And really, Nagayan was thinking, as he allowed their kiss to deepen….this was ok. It was ok, and when it came down to it, he really couldn’t imagine himself having it any other way. He was thinking about apologizing to Tuti again though, for ignoring him earlier, and for not talking to him and telling him what was wrong when he should have, but Tuti’s fingers had slid under his waist, and Nagayan arched his back, allowing Tuti to pull off his jeans. And suddenly Nagayan realized that everything else might have to wait until tomorrow, because this just felt too good.
“So have you finally forgiven me?” Tuti looked down at him after a second with half-lidded eyes, and Nagayan laughed, though it turned into a moan, as Tuti moved his hips, pressing their bodies closer together for a second before he looked down at Nagayan again.
“Come on, you know it doesn’t count unless you say it.” And Tuti was watching him with an amused half-smile.
Nagayan sighed, “I forgive you, ok? Now…”
But Tuti was already kissing him, and suddenly Nagayan realized that despite the fact that he felt really good right now, and that his tension from before had all but vanished, the best thing about how he was feeling was that he knew that he meant what he just said, honestly and truly.
And then Nagayan realized that he was tired of thinking. He pulled Tuti towards him, and put all of his energy into kissing him, realizing that his stomach was turning over again, but that this time it was in anticipation of something that Nagayan already knew from experience would be really, really good. And this thought now filled him with eager anticipation as their kiss deepened with hunger and desire, and Nagayan realized that not only was the evening not a waste after all…once again, it was far from over.
Owari