Today was an emotional day...my meds stabalizing will not come too soon. I am so tired I feel sick. My brother and his little family went home this afternoon after spending the weekend here. The week begins and I have appointments with all my doctors to look forward to. Things will get better.


( Read more... )

Friday before last I had a terrible memory of waking up cumming with my step-brother on top of me. Not in me, on top of me. Then two cruel voices started up telling me I was a monster and didn't deserve to live. I did not motivate my step brother besides being asleep. Monday I drank a mass aamount of vodka and took 10 colonapin. Went to ( Read more... )

After my mom called the hospital a week ago sying her boss needed to know some sort of time frame for the brain surgery we got called back. they are booked solid till December so it will be at least December when I get my surgery, unless my brain tries to blow up again. More likely it will be January. All the waiting was a silly waste, but at ( Read more... )

I've been up since 230 and feel the deprivation of sleep. I'm not 20 anymore. A matter-of-fact on Monday I will be turning 33. Last night I was going through pictures of my entire 20's and it seems unreal. That was me. That was my life. My life didn't revolve around the next brain surgery, doctor appointments, med adjustments, it's been a ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

God bless brain damage ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Last night we went to a buffet with all you can eat crab legs and lobster. I still dont like lobster because it is bland and rubbery. I can't believe how much some places charge for them. To each their own I guess. There is just something disgusting about my dad being all happy when he gets a female lobster and gobbles up the eggs. I wonder if ( Read more... )

I feel better than yesterday. I really really thought I had left the hospital too soon. Patience...patience...patience...it takes up to 3 weeks for a new med to fully effect your system and then we can see if it is the right med or not. *sigh* One positive thing is my anti-anxiety pills have nearly stopped my trmors and now I want to write to ( Read more... )