Firefly Ficlet: Ain't Right (Jayne, Kaylee)
Title: Ain't Right
Rating: PG-13
Words: About 1000
Notes: Ficlet for redcandle17 for the Fandom Free-For-All . Prompt: Jayne reacting to Crazy Space Incest.
It ain't right. Sure, some days, folk - mostly Mal - bitch about how Jayne ain't capable of knowing right from wrong, but them folk don't know what they're talking about. Jayne was taught real good by his ma. And a few others she never liked so much, but still. He learned right from wrong. He's got a list, and he knows it so well it ain't even written down.
Wrong: Wasting a working girl's time.
Right: Making sure you pay up when your time with her is up. He ain't never gone wrong by following this rule, unlike some morons who forget that the girl ain't never working by her lonesome.
Wrong: Stealing another man's gun for no good reason, on account of how he needs it for his work.
Right: Stealing his gun if he pisses you off, tries to cheat you, or maybe looks at you funny. This is one of Jayne's very favourite pieces of right, and he's got the guns to prove it.
Wrong: Shoving a lady out of the way when it comes to walking into a building.
Right: Opening the door for her, on account of how she's a lady, and sometimes ladies got some kind of wussy arm muscles. Truth is, he don't encounter ladies so much, and Inara looked at him funny when he tried it once. Still, it's good to remember what's right, and he keeps it in his mind (just in case it comes in handy one day) by sometimes opening a door for Mal because one, he's got wussy arm muscles, two, he sometimes thinks he's fancified, and three, it makes him get a right strange look on his face, like Jayne's gone and creeped him out. It's true what his ma always said - doing the right thing does give a body a warm feeling inside.
Wrong: Making eyes, or worse, at your own sister. Or brother. Or both.
Right: Making eyes at anyone else who maybe strikes your fancy, and hoping she (or he), don't try to poke them eyes out. Jayne figures he ain't got a bad track record, on account of how he still has both of his eyes and some memories that ain't fit for sharing at the dinner table. Not that it's ever stopped him. His ma always did say sharing was the right thing to do.
"It ain't right," he mutters.
"You sure of what you saw?" Kaylee looks doubtful, but in Jayne's mind not quite doubtful enough. It's almost like she ain't surprised.
"Yep." He can't see how he could be mistaking it - coo-y eyes, and whispered nonsense (though that ain't exactly unusual given who they're talking about), hands on each other for too damn long -
"They're brother and sister," Kaylee says. "Sometimes family is close."
"You ever make dreamy-eyes at yer brother?"
"No."
"Me either." Though he did once make dreamy-eyes at a real nice hunk of steak his sister brought home. Then again, the family hadn't had beef, or meat of any kind, in near two months, so he figures it were normal.
"Maybe she's…adopted?"
"That ain't what she is."
"Jayne!"
He shrugs. It ain't his fault them two are screwy in the head even beyond what some Fed experiments would cause. "Anyways, shouldn't be a surprise. Core folk - I hear they're weird. And, what kind of brother ships his sister around nekkid in a box? Iff'n I'd ever tried that with my sister, my ma woulda slapped me good."
Kaylee kinda glares at him, mouth a little tight like when she gets suspicious someone is playing a joke on her. "It ain't like he could've shipped her any other way. Gotta be naked to be frozen."
It don't take a genius to know that, given that clothes keep a body warm. "Whatever. Still don't change what I saw. Preacher will have hell to say when he finds out about this. Her, looking up at him. Him bending over her, hands all over her. They weren't even tryin' to hide nothin'. Didn't even close the door."
"Why were you even lurking around their rooms? Cap says you got no reason to be lurking there."
Jayne shrugs. "Wasn't."
"Where were they?"
"Infirmary."
Kaylee fixes that hard little glare on him again. Ain't right that such a little, sunny girl should be able to glare so good. "Infirmary. Were they talking?"
"Sure. He'd say stuff like, 'Here?', and touch her, and she'd say yeah, or no, sometimes squirming, and that kinda thing. Heard him tell her to get up so's he could check her reflexes, like he don't already know. Didn't stick around after that. D'you figure he mixes in sexin' with tests? That ain't right neither. Ain't - professional."
Kaylee's quiet for a minute, one hand kind of rubbing at her head like it's hurting. That's what sexin' up your sister can do others - give folk a powerful headache and a bellyful of not wanting to know.
Finally, she says, "Remember yesterday when Mal got mad you went and almost screwed up the job because you got distracted in the market by that -"
"-Lady. She were a lady."
" - lady - "
"Who needed help openin' a door."
"Whatever you say, Jayne. Remember what Mal said after?"
Mal said a lot. Jayne weren't really listening after the first few seconds. Not really listening was the best strategy when Mal got in one of his moods.
"I think it was 'Jayne, you are a gorram moron.' Remember?"
He shrugs. "I guess."
Kaylee pushes away from the table. "My ma taught me ain't right to be speaking ill of folk, but sometimes Jayne, you are a gorram moron. You ever stop to think what a doctor does with sick people in an infirmary?"
"Don't know, but I can tell you it's sick, all right - " But she's walking out, sighing real loud.
After she's gone, he thinks on it a little bit. Maybe she don't want to believe because she's dreaming about getting into the doc's britches. Maybe she ain't got a problem with it, on account of Simon-and-River-gorram-Tam being corrupting influences on her. Folk like Kaylee shouldn't be corrupted by dirty Core folk. Maybe he'll have to start getting evidence, talk to Mal about the whole thing. About Kaylee getting corrupted by their antics.
And maybe it'll finally be enough for Mal to kick their asses off Serenity. He can't help but smile a little at that. Hell, seems like sometimes a bunch of wrongs can be used up to make some rights, no matter what his ma used to say about that.
End
Rating: PG-13
Words: About 1000
Notes: Ficlet for redcandle17 for the Fandom Free-For-All . Prompt: Jayne reacting to Crazy Space Incest.
It ain't right. Sure, some days, folk - mostly Mal - bitch about how Jayne ain't capable of knowing right from wrong, but them folk don't know what they're talking about. Jayne was taught real good by his ma. And a few others she never liked so much, but still. He learned right from wrong. He's got a list, and he knows it so well it ain't even written down.
Wrong: Wasting a working girl's time.
Right: Making sure you pay up when your time with her is up. He ain't never gone wrong by following this rule, unlike some morons who forget that the girl ain't never working by her lonesome.
Wrong: Stealing another man's gun for no good reason, on account of how he needs it for his work.
Right: Stealing his gun if he pisses you off, tries to cheat you, or maybe looks at you funny. This is one of Jayne's very favourite pieces of right, and he's got the guns to prove it.
Wrong: Shoving a lady out of the way when it comes to walking into a building.
Right: Opening the door for her, on account of how she's a lady, and sometimes ladies got some kind of wussy arm muscles. Truth is, he don't encounter ladies so much, and Inara looked at him funny when he tried it once. Still, it's good to remember what's right, and he keeps it in his mind (just in case it comes in handy one day) by sometimes opening a door for Mal because one, he's got wussy arm muscles, two, he sometimes thinks he's fancified, and three, it makes him get a right strange look on his face, like Jayne's gone and creeped him out. It's true what his ma always said - doing the right thing does give a body a warm feeling inside.
Wrong: Making eyes, or worse, at your own sister. Or brother. Or both.
Right: Making eyes at anyone else who maybe strikes your fancy, and hoping she (or he), don't try to poke them eyes out. Jayne figures he ain't got a bad track record, on account of how he still has both of his eyes and some memories that ain't fit for sharing at the dinner table. Not that it's ever stopped him. His ma always did say sharing was the right thing to do.
"It ain't right," he mutters.
"You sure of what you saw?" Kaylee looks doubtful, but in Jayne's mind not quite doubtful enough. It's almost like she ain't surprised.
"Yep." He can't see how he could be mistaking it - coo-y eyes, and whispered nonsense (though that ain't exactly unusual given who they're talking about), hands on each other for too damn long -
"They're brother and sister," Kaylee says. "Sometimes family is close."
"You ever make dreamy-eyes at yer brother?"
"No."
"Me either." Though he did once make dreamy-eyes at a real nice hunk of steak his sister brought home. Then again, the family hadn't had beef, or meat of any kind, in near two months, so he figures it were normal.
"Maybe she's…adopted?"
"That ain't what she is."
"Jayne!"
He shrugs. It ain't his fault them two are screwy in the head even beyond what some Fed experiments would cause. "Anyways, shouldn't be a surprise. Core folk - I hear they're weird. And, what kind of brother ships his sister around nekkid in a box? Iff'n I'd ever tried that with my sister, my ma woulda slapped me good."
Kaylee kinda glares at him, mouth a little tight like when she gets suspicious someone is playing a joke on her. "It ain't like he could've shipped her any other way. Gotta be naked to be frozen."
It don't take a genius to know that, given that clothes keep a body warm. "Whatever. Still don't change what I saw. Preacher will have hell to say when he finds out about this. Her, looking up at him. Him bending over her, hands all over her. They weren't even tryin' to hide nothin'. Didn't even close the door."
"Why were you even lurking around their rooms? Cap says you got no reason to be lurking there."
Jayne shrugs. "Wasn't."
"Where were they?"
"Infirmary."
Kaylee fixes that hard little glare on him again. Ain't right that such a little, sunny girl should be able to glare so good. "Infirmary. Were they talking?"
"Sure. He'd say stuff like, 'Here?', and touch her, and she'd say yeah, or no, sometimes squirming, and that kinda thing. Heard him tell her to get up so's he could check her reflexes, like he don't already know. Didn't stick around after that. D'you figure he mixes in sexin' with tests? That ain't right neither. Ain't - professional."
Kaylee's quiet for a minute, one hand kind of rubbing at her head like it's hurting. That's what sexin' up your sister can do others - give folk a powerful headache and a bellyful of not wanting to know.
Finally, she says, "Remember yesterday when Mal got mad you went and almost screwed up the job because you got distracted in the market by that -"
"-Lady. She were a lady."
" - lady - "
"Who needed help openin' a door."
"Whatever you say, Jayne. Remember what Mal said after?"
Mal said a lot. Jayne weren't really listening after the first few seconds. Not really listening was the best strategy when Mal got in one of his moods.
"I think it was 'Jayne, you are a gorram moron.' Remember?"
He shrugs. "I guess."
Kaylee pushes away from the table. "My ma taught me ain't right to be speaking ill of folk, but sometimes Jayne, you are a gorram moron. You ever stop to think what a doctor does with sick people in an infirmary?"
"Don't know, but I can tell you it's sick, all right - " But she's walking out, sighing real loud.
After she's gone, he thinks on it a little bit. Maybe she don't want to believe because she's dreaming about getting into the doc's britches. Maybe she ain't got a problem with it, on account of Simon-and-River-gorram-Tam being corrupting influences on her. Folk like Kaylee shouldn't be corrupted by dirty Core folk. Maybe he'll have to start getting evidence, talk to Mal about the whole thing. About Kaylee getting corrupted by their antics.
And maybe it'll finally be enough for Mal to kick their asses off Serenity. He can't help but smile a little at that. Hell, seems like sometimes a bunch of wrongs can be used up to make some rights, no matter what his ma used to say about that.
End