surviving the first seven days and the challenge ahead

[amw]

Last week Sunday morning i headed out to the corner of town where my European colleagues are housed up while they are in Taipei. I met up with J from Slovakia, who was one of the first to arrive. He was unprepared for the heat, humidity and torrential downpour that ensued over the next couple hours, but we did have a nice coffee and - more

Comments

[anais_pf]

I, too, have more money to spend than I need or even want to spend, so I know what you mean about money just being numbers on a page. But remember, that raise is extra money going toward your becoming independently wealthy and not having to work.

Good luck with the rest of your work gathering!

[siglinde99]

You’ve got this! Bathing suits are hell. Your chosen option sounds like a reasonable variation of some I have seen from more inclusive* swimwear makers.

*if by inclusive, you mean variation in body size/shape, but not the size of your wallet, which needs to be huge to cover the cost of the suit.

[geminiwench]

I love this post...

Not only do I get to learn about a different time in your life, but how it takes a story of experience to contextualize why something like... doing a teambuilding surfy thing on a work retreat can be a Real Big Thing, for more than one reason.

There are a lot of *cultural* complications to having a female body that have nothing to do with, and are above and beyond the "biological complications" of having a female body. There are so many stupid things women end up having to worry about, just so our body isn't TOO offensive or alternately TOO attractive to "cause problems"... just by existing in public. It's sorta my least favorite part of being female. Periods are a real complaint, but... ya know what? It would be a BIGGER relief not to have to deal with being appraised (sometimes for better, sometimes for worse) by so many people... sorta all the time.

[amw]

I think the gender essentialists would say that the reason women have to put up with the cultural complications is exactly because biologically women are the weaker sex, and the culture of oppression and objectification evolved around that fact, which is probably true. But then they continue their train of thought to say that therefore anybody assigned male at birth can never be a "real" woman because they'll never experience the same oppression and objectification because their bodies aren't weaker than men's. Except... that same case could be made against assigned female at birth people who by accident of genetics turn out to be larger and stronger than the average man.

It doesn't stand up as a coherent worldview, because although some aspects of the "female" experience might happen because an individual is smaller and weaker, many more aspects of the experience are applied to all shapes and sizes of the gender because it's already a cultural institution. So here i am, trans woman, and i have to deal with a whole bunch of the same

[geminiwench]

That's the reality of it, to me... the bell-curve. There is no such thing as a group as large and diverse as the female-at-birth population (who are the majority of all born people...) will *all* share even ONE feature, outside of... being human and judged female-at-birth. All women are human, but that's about the only thing that 100% unites us all,... and sure female-at-birth may have a different set of experiences than male-turned-female later in life, but that doesn't mean they can't have shared many of the same ones, too. I think the idea that women are the bearers of humanity's "curse" and so we need more care, we are smaller, we are weaker, we have more biological responsibility, being the REASON for our oppression... and like that is "special" to females-at-birth that no one else will "understand"... that's like declaring yourself monarch of shit mountain, for all that's worth. That's like agreeing with the bullies that there is a verified reason women *have earned* (and deserve) their oppression somehow, and that it defines

[olamina]

I love this entry. Swimsuit shopping and trying on shit is so kinda mortifying, but then whenever I get to a beach and see the range of bodies I kinda forget about my own. The swimsuit just becomes less like a piece of clothing to express anything about myself and more just the suitable for the location. Like waders for a fisherman or a one piece jumpsuit for a handy man. I'm glad you are facing your fears. You always look great in a tank so I'm sure the crop top will do you fine and who doesn't love a board short.

I'm glad you're pushing yourself and taking good care. ❤️

[amw]

You were right about getting to the beach and seeing the range of bodies helping me to feel less insecure about it all. When everyone was in their swim gear, it didn't feel so weird for me to be in mine too. It helped that we all got rashguards as well. Nobody commented on my hairy legs, although i'm sure some noticed.

The other thing i realized was that getting in the ocean i took my glasses off, which allows me to see the shapes of people but none of the detail, so i could imagine everyone saw me as just a human-shaped blob the same way i saw everyone else, ain't nobody gonna be noticing the bumps or folds or fuzziness when they can't even recognize the face.