looking at me how other people look at me

[amw]

Something that is different about going to parties outside of Berlin is that people take photos. In Berlin nightclubs it's considered somewhat inappropriate, and some clubs even go to the extent of placing stickers over the camera lenses on people's phones to discourage it. Of course plenty of people still take photos - furtively - but unless you'

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[geminiwench]

OGRES UNITE

[coercedbynutmeg]

What Gemini said.
Definitely worth getting some bespoke clothing, especially pants, because there's no way you'd find pants that accommodate the legs of a 6'3" body in SE Asia.
Bras too, while you're at it. I have a small ribcage and it's an ordeal finding a right-sized bra in the US, which is why 80% of women are wearing the wrong size.

[olamina]

I love this idea. Having a few good quality things you feel good in is worth the time and money. I am average height as a ciswoman but I don't shop fast fashion because I don't care for how I look or feel in it. As a New Yorker, I spend WAY more time thinking about how I want to look than I think you'd ever be into, but even for people that don't love playing dress up I recommend taking the time to find a silhouette you like and then turning it into a uniform.

Of course, I don't want other people's opinions to define my life experience, but it is a delicious feeling when people compliment me for something I've put effort into and behold me the way I'd hoped I'd be beheld.

[geminiwench]

but even for people that don't love playing dress up I recommend taking the time to find a silhouette you like and then turning it into a uniform.

I agree COMPLETELY.

There are also all sorts of tailor-tricks to make clothing that is secretly adjustable so if you're someone that goes up 10-15lbs up or down from your current weight (especially if you already know where you gain/lose) your clothes will still fit well and be comfortable. It's a shame that off-the-rack clothing has wiped tailors from our collective consciousness as the solver of all our clothing-fit/style/comfort problems that you think is "your fault" just because your body just happens to be *your* body and not a "better" body.

[carriea31]

This is such an interesting post.

I think we are always our own worst critic! I feel like I am absolutely the least photogenic person in every situation, no matter what. I think mostly everyone is more attractive than I am in every photo. I'm sure there are so many people who feel that same way about themselves.

I do not think you look like an ogre at all. I think you look like a person who is having some fun. Some of those other people in the photo also look like that, while some look like they are just about to take off running. The one that caught my eye the most was the dude in the back who looks like he is about to casually pull down/uproot the tree. hahaha.

Like you, I've hit the 40 mark. And like you said here...it doesn't hurt to try, so I've recently decided to try and get my stomach a bit more flat again. Good luck to both of us. :) I really need to give up sweetened coffee.

[amw]

That tree guy!! One of the best things about party photos is that they do tend to capture everybody in the middle of doing something that looks very weird when it's frozen in time. I suppose if people looked too put-together then they party wouldn't be very good, because it'd mean everyone was too concerned with posing to let go.

[aesam]

i'd die to have your body and height. I'm hate my chest and I wear binders because of body dysmorphia. To some people, you're the luckiest person in the world

[amw]

That's the great curse, when sometimes it seems like what someone else takes for granted - or even resents - is all we want. I guess we just have to try do the best we can with what we have.

I will say that in my case as a trans person, i do appreciate my luck to have had the physical health, family support and financial means to get surgery. Many cannot, for various reasons, and their lives can end up much more difficult than mine as a result.

[dadi]

I'm not the flattering type for sure. So when I tell you that you look adorable and fit, you better believe it <3

[zestfive]

I've always been super insecure about so many things and at my age now, I'm just really bored about my insecurities. It still definitely impacts me and prevents me from joy sometimes. What I see in that picture is joy and most days with the love and support of my wife, I look for that in people more and more and also try to find it in myself. When I see joy in someone's face, even if they are not traditionally attractive, it lights them up and that is beautiful!

[geminiwench]

amw