occasional drunken eloquence

[amw]

I made a comment on a long Facebook battle between an inclusive friend of mine and a friend-of-friend who thinks trans women are really just men who are violating their safe spaces. I am reposting it here because it's important to me

Comments

[anais_pf]

There is an awful lot of nastiness and obstinacy on both sides of this issue, even within groups that you would think would be more understanding or tolerant or whatever. My partner (who truly has a foot in each camp) has been involved in trying to mediate between two very adamant factions within our state Green Party and has gotten almost nowhere. Your comment makes so much sense. It's like a breath of fresh air.

[amw]

I really find this debate exhausting. Ultimately i think it's self-defeating too. There are so many women who could use a supportive community, but when they try to find one and bump up against this ideological battle instead, it doesn't exactly give them a safe space, regardless of which "side" they end up in.

[dadi]

This is really perfectly expressed.

[ahunter3]

^^^ what they said.

Eloquently (even if durnkenly) spoken

[benicek]

Pretty reasonable comment.

[daphnep]

I really appreciate you writing about these topics. I think you have a pretty balanced and nuanced perspective that doesn’t get represented that often (or at least not in the media that I consume.)

[amw]

I don't see this opinion voiced much either, especially not in trans activist circles. But i like to believe that i am part of a "silent majority" of trans people. I hope that most trans women understand that their presence can be triggering to some cis women, and that they have enough empathy to give those women the spaces they need.

Certainly there are plenty of cis women who are open to the idea of having both inclusive and exclusive spaces.

I suspect it's just a small, loud minority on each side that has turned this into a battle. I just wish it didn't suck up so much of the air in the room.

[olamina]

I believe you are right. I think transfolks open up a lot of ambiguity for people who think in binary ways there are vocal minorities pushing hard in opposing directions rather than sitting with discomfort, exploring nuance, and getting creative. For example, I knew a ciswoman who was born without ovaries and couldn't relate to a lot of the concerns and experiences of other women. Does she belong in all those ciswomen only rooms just because she was assigned female at birth? Would she be pushed out upon such revelation? I think the other tough thing is that people don't read. I've been reading critical gender studies since I was a teen. Most people now just read Twitter.