[FIC] Change of Heart: Epilogue
Title: Change of Heart: Epilogue
Author: Amouralamer
Length: 20 chapters + Epilogue
Pairings: Jaejoong/Changmin, Others
Rating: Fic: Up to Nc-17, This Chapter: PG
Genre: Au, Romance, Smut, Fluffy sap (Flap?)
A/N: Ta Da! Here it is! v(^o^)v
Fic Summary: Jaejoong and Changmin are straight, college students and fellow co-workers. A night out starts a chain reaction that changes their lives forever.
Disclaimer: I REFUSE to say they aren't mine! *thinkspositive* /(>.<)\
Previous Chapters:
[Chapter One][Chapter Two][Chapter Three][Chapter Four]
[Chapter Five][Chapter Six][Chapter Seven][Chapter Eight]
[Chapter Nine][Chapter Ten][Chapter Eleven][Chapter Twelve]
[Chapter Thirteen][Chapter Fourteen][Chapter Fifteen][Chapter Sixteen]
[Chapter Seventeen][Chapter Eighteen][Chapter Nineteen][Chapter Twenty]
♥ Change of Heart: Epilogue ♥
The sun was a glowing golden ember in an otherwise flawless expanse of blazing blue. Another year had come and gone and summer was once again asserting it's fiery dominance over Seoul.
Changmin, at the moment, was sadly observing his own supposed-to-be-glowing embers, unfortunately not quite as bright since he couldn't seem to get them lit. The grill was turning out to be a more formidable adversary than Min had anticipated. He'd been out in their rooftop garden fighting this wretched metal beast for the last half hour without success. Min’s foot twitched wanting to give the offending object a good kick.
The only thing that stopped him was fear that he would anger it.
Changmin had been charged with the seemingly simple task of lighting the charcoal in the grill. Company was coming and his lover had been slaving away all morning preparing the food. Changmin hadn't even gotten home from his rounds at the hospital in time to help set up the tables. This was the only thing he had been asked to do and damned if he was going to admit defeat and go running to Jaejoong. He could do this!
"I'm a genius." Changmin muttered almost accusingly. He had to figure this out before.....
"Min, Jae wants to know if the coals are hot yet."
Damn. Junsu. Just who he didn't want to catch him failing at something. He teased Su too much, there was no way Junsu would let this slide.
"Almost Hyung." Min lied, trying to nonchalantly block the grill from Junsu's sight. Listening to Su's footsteps bringing the doom of Changmin's dignity ever closer, Min resigned himself to the merciless mocking that was about to follow.
"Sunsu!"
Changmin relaxed with a smirk as his daughter's voice stopped Junsu's forward momentum.
Saved!
Min was always happy to see Ae Min, but to have her appear just in the nick of time like that...well, she was a gift from God in more ways than one.
Min was careful to keep himself between the grill and Junsu as he turned to watch the other man scoop little Ae Min up into his arms. He was her favorite Uncle, much to Heechul's chagrin, and Junsu in turn was wrapped around her tiny cute little finger. At two she had trouble saying his name properly and Changmin knew that Junsu melted whenever she called him Sunsu.
As Ae Min demanded that Junsu come play with her, he obediently turned and headed back down the stairs leaving Min alone with his frustration. Giving in to his desire to kick something, Changmin booted the other bag of briquettes. As it toppled over Min noticed a small plastic squirt bottle for the very first time. Picking it up he sees the words "Lighter Fluid" in bold red letters. Mwahahahaha...Victory shall yet be mine!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once again the air at Jaejoong and Changmin's was redolent with the smell of delicious foods and their friends had all gathered to partake of them. Yunho and Junsu, Yoochun, Heechul, Donghae and Ye-ryeon, Jihoon and Eun Hye. An invitation to eat Jaejoong's cooking was never turned down once you had experienced it. It was no wonder his restaurant, still new and relatively unknown, was developing such a diehard following so swiftly. Changmin was extremely proud of his love's success and happy that Jaejoong was so satisfied with the results of his hard work.
Looking around the roof at those gathered, Changmin could see the happy on all of them. They were all like family and it made him smile to see the people he loved so content.
Yunho and Junsu were always together. Junsu’s belongings still occupied his bedroom downstairs, but he never slept there anymore preferring to spend his time at Yunho’s home instead.
Donghae and Ye-ryeon, who had eaten lunch together the day that Yunho and Junsu officially became a couple, were dating. They were in no rush to get to the alter, but everyone knew it was only a matter of time. Junsu and Yunho loved the fact that their best friends had become a couple. They had a blast whenever the four of them got together.
Yoochun and Heechul had surprised everyone (except Jaejoong) with the rapidity of their developing relationship. Jaejoong said that after spending so much time with Yoochun, he had known that they would hit it off. Chullie never did find a place of his own and Chunnie’s game/guest room never saw a sleeping Heechul.
Quiet and serious by nature, it hadn’t taken Jihoon long to know that Eun Hye was the girl for him. Six months into their relationship Jihoon had proposed. A month later they were wed. Changmin, having noticed some changes in Eun Hye’s behavior in the last few weeks, was pretty sure they’d be making an announcement in the very near future. Ae Min would have a new “cousin” within the year.
And after two heavenly years together, Jaejoong and Changmin were closer than ever. Looking towards his lover, Changmin could practically feel the love swelling his heart near to bursting.
In loving Jaejoong Changmin had not only found a level of happiness he hadn't thought existed, he had also acquired another family.
He now had a daughter, thanks to Jaejoong. Changmin couldn’t love Ae Min more even if she wasn’t his biologically. She was the daughter of his heart. He was there when she got her first tooth, said her first word and took her first steps.
The Kims had taken to him immediately and treated him no different than Jaejoong or Junsu. With so many daughters (as well as Junsu and Jaejoong) providing them with a variety of sons-in-law, maybe he was imaging things, but Changmin was certain that they loved him the most.
And whenever he saw the others, he told them so.
Watching Ae Min tug on her Appa’s pant leg to get his attention, seeing Jaejoong lean down so that he could hear her better, watching as Jaejoong kissed their daughter…..Changmin thought to himself. That right there is my entire reason for living.
Ae Min looked just like Jaejoong, beautiful. She also had his sweet nature. Min was glad she didn't seem to have inherited anything of Eun Bi’s. Not that it would have mattered. He’d have fallen in love with her no matter what.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jaejoong, Junsu and Heechul were all gathered around the grill, laughing uproariously at something Heechul was saying. Min knew that Jae and Su were going to miss their cousin when he left. Chullie was going abroad with Yoochun for the summer. Chun, being obscenely wealthy, spent every summer in some part of Europe. This year their destination was Rome.
Standing in the shade of a lemon tree with Yunho and Yoochun, quietly admiring their lovers, Changmin can only nod along with Yunho when Yoochun says, “The Kim boys are quite a sight aren’t they?”
Feeling his heart drawing him to Jaejoong once again, Changmin wanders over to wrap long arms around his love. Resting his chin on Jaejoong’s shoulder Min makes a needy noise and laughing, Jaejoong uses a pair of chopsticks to maneuver a bite of food to his lover’s mouth. Kissing the crook of Jaejoong’s neck as thanks, Changmin is blissfully unaware of the tension he has left behind.
Yunho and Yoochun, forced into semi-close contact because the men they loved happened to be cousins, had still barely spoken to each other in the last two years. Yoochun’s relationship with Heechul had drained his anger, but the hurt still remained. He and Yunho had been too close for it to just fade away.
The two of them have been excruciatingly polite, only speaking to each other when necessary. Mostly they try to avoid being in such close proximity altogether. It is a little uncomfortable, but it has worked so far. Yunho reflects that this may be the first time they’ve actually been alone together in the last two years. The tension is almost painful and Yunho watches out of the corner of his eye as Yoochun mumbles something about another drink and starts to turn away. He isn’t surprised. It was only a matter of time before one of them made an excuse to leave the other’s company.
So it comes as somewhat of a shock to himself and Yoochun when he reaches out a hand to stop the other man from leaving. Chunnie looks down at the hand gripping tightly to his arm as if he doesn't quite believe what he is seeing. As his eyes follow the arm up to Yunho's face, Yunho lets go. Now that he has Yoochun’s full attention he isn’t sure he wants it, but there is something he has to get off of his chest even if it breaks the fragile peace between them.
Unable to maintain eye contact Yunho’s gaze falls to the ground as he tries to get the words out,
"Yoochun.....I...I never got a chance to say I'm sorry." Yoochun isn't sure he wants to hear what Yunho has to say, but something won’t let him walk away.
"I know you can't forgive me, but I need to say it. I'm sorry Yoochun." Finally looking Yoochun in the eyes Yunho can’t stop the tears gathering in his own, "I'm so sorry Yoochun. I'm so sorry. Chunnie I’m so sorry. I'm so damn sorry." And Yoochun finally realizes that Yunho's pain has been as great as his own. Maybe greater. As Yunho cries and keeps saying over and over how sorry he is Yoochun can't help but pull his old friend into his arms as he starts to cry too. Even as hurt as he had been, Yoochun had missed Yunho.
Clutching Yoochun to him Yunho lets out everything that had been festering inside of him for so long. "I'm so sorry! Chunnie I never wanted to hurt you! I'd have cut my own hands off before I hurt you on purpose! I loved you more than anything!"
“Then why Yunho?! If you loved me so much why did you do it?!” Yoochun thinks that this, the why of it, is what has tormented him the most. “Out of everyone I knew, I felt most secure in you. I’d have sooner believed my parents would betray me than to think that you would. And it probably would have hurt me less!”
Eyes closed, Yoochun listened to Yunho’s broken account of what had happened that night. How he got drunk and woke up next to a stranger. How he tried to apologize then, but Yoochun wouldn’t see him. How his family sent him away when they found out he was gay.
Remembering the way he handled the situation back then Yoochun knows that a large part of the pain they’ve carried around for so long has been due to his inability to forgive people who have hurt him and realizing that, he thinks to himself, What a waste…if I had only talked to him then so much of it might have been avoided…
Tightening his arms around Yunho, Yoochun whispers, "I'm sorry too Yunho. I'm sorry too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Watching Yunho and Yoochun from across the rooftop, Junsu was happy to see that things were finally getting resolved between them. Maybe now they can be friends again. Wiping a happy tear from the corner of his own eye, Su turns away just in time to see Heechul stalking towards the embracing men with a determined look on his face.
Hurrying to intercept his cousin Junsu grabs Heechul’s sleeve and drags him to a stop. “Chullie wait!”
"What do you mean wait?! How can you just stand there and let our boyfriends, who are ex-lovers by the way, get all touchie-feelie with each other?! Aren't you worried that Yunho will want him back?"
Junsu shrugs.
"Yunho loves me." He says simply.
Looking over at the man he loves he adds,
"And if Yunho ever decided that he still loved Yoochun and wanted to be with him, I'd let him go."
Seeing Heechul’s skepticism Su says,
"I mean it. I just want Yunho to be happy. If Yoochun is what makes him happy.....anyway, like I said, Yunho loves me and he needs this." Turning back to look at Yunho and Yoochun, who were just talking now, Junsu adds firmly, "They both do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The night is quiet but for the pleasant tonal hooting of a solitary owl. Through the open window comes wafting an intoxicating scent of jasmine and honeysuckle.
Jaejoong wakes and reaches for his lover only to find the bed empty. Stretching, Jaejoong yawns and entertains the idea of just going back to sleep. He knows though that he’ll never be able to doze off without Changmin in the bed next to him. Resigning himself, Jaejoong throws off the light sheet and leaves the downy comfort of his bed.
Padding barefoot through their silent apartment Jaejoong heads straight for the kitchen. Most people would have probably checked the bathroom first, but most people didn’t have Shim Changmin for a lover. Not finding anything in the kitchen except traces of Changmin’s midnight snack, Jaejoong proceeds to the bathroom. Not having any luck there either he makes his way to Ae Min’s room. Seeing that their daughter is also missing from her bed Jaejoong now knows where to find Changmin.
The view of Seoul from their rooftop garden was breathtaking. The night air was sweet and warm but with a gentle cooling breeze. It was the kind of perfect night you thought of when you longed for summer. The kind of night that songs were written about. Staring into the star spangled firmament, seeing the infinite stretch out before him, Jaejoong took a deep breath and felt as if his spirit was soaring.
Coming back down to Earth, Jaejoong scans the rooftop and finds his life in a brightly tasseled hammock. As he draws near he sees that Changmin’s eyes are open. Cradled in his arms is an angel.
“She was having trouble sleeping.” Min said quietly kissing the top of Ae Min’s sleep tousled head.
Gesturing for Min to make room Jaejoong carefully joins them in the hammock. Min shifts to his side as Jaejoong wraps his arms around his love and their daughter.
They lay there, utterly content, Jaejoong pressing soft loving kisses to Changmin's bare shoulder. Jae had lost count of the number of nights they had passed in this fashion. Sometimes with Ae Min and sometimes just the two of them. Feeling sleep begin to creep up on him now that he had Changmin pressed against himself, Jaejoong fought to remain conscious as Changmin started talking.
"Jaejoong..." Min's tone is serious and Jaejoong can tell he's been thinking hard about something.
"Hmm?"
"I think we're going to have to move."
Jaejoong was extremely comfortable so he didn't think Min meant move out of the hammock.
"You don't think we have enough room here? If you need an office or something that shouldn't be a problem. You know Su pretty much lives at Yunho's anyway. I could just ask him to make it official."
Changmin shakes his head. "No, that's not what I mean." He takes a deep breath. "I think we're going to have to leave Korea."
Jaejoong is speechless. Sensing Jae's shock, Min turns to lay on his back, careful not to disturb the precious bundle in his arms.
"Not right away, but in a few years, when it's time for Ae Min to start school."
Jaejoong is still confused.
"What...why don't you want Ae Min to go to school in Korea?"
"It's not that. Think about it, what happens when she starts talking about her family? When people ask her 'Where's your Umma?' and she says 'I don't have an Umma I have two Appa's'. Can you imagine what that would do to our life? To hers?"
Jaejoong could see now what Min was getting at and the scenarios running through his head made him shudder. Korea may be one of the most technologically advanced nations on the planet, but when it came to things like homosexuality, they were a very traditional people. Jaejoong knew there was no way their unconventional little family would find acceptance.
Changmin can see the sadness on Jaejoong's face, reaching his hand out he laced his fingers with his lover's.
"The way I see it, we have a couple of options. There is France or England or America. I know your restaurant is just starting out, but it's already doing well and by the time we leave it will be a huge success. I say you start looking for someone you can trust to take over the management of the restaurant and begin training them to do things the way you want them done. When we get to where we're going you can open a new branch. We'll keep this apartment and come home every summer."
Changmin could see that Jaejoong was struggling. It was a hard thing to consider. Hard to leave your family and your country, your culture and even your language. Min had come to terms with it, but he'd been thinking about it for a while now.
Squeezing Jaejoong's fingers gently, Min says quietly,
"It wouldn't have to be permanent. It would just be until Ae Min is old enough to know what to say and what to keep secret."
Jaejoong knows that Min is right. It would be hard, but he'd have Changmin and their daughter. When it came down to it that was the most important thing. Nodding he says, "You're right."
Looking his lover in the face Jaejoong adds, "You've thought a lot about this haven't you? Do you already have somewhere specific in mind?"
Changmin nods hesitantly and says,
"I'm thinking America. America has a large Korean population in California." Tightening his grip on Jaejoong's fingers he adds,
"A-a-nd in some places in America...two men can get m-married. T-to each other."
Looking into Changmin's eyes Jaejoong lets what Min has said wash over him and feels a lightening of his spirit. His imagination gives him visions of himself and Changmin holding hands and even kissing out in the open. The very thought is heady, dizzying in it’s splendor.
Now the idea of moving is no longer frightening or sad, but joyful. Something to look forward to. To run towards.
Realizing that Min is watching him intently Jaejoong whispers, teasing, "Shim Changmin. Are you asking me to marry you?"
Min nods, his eyes searching Jaejoong’s, looking for an answer. Silly man, like I’d ever say no Jaejoong pretends to think then says, ”I guess we’d better start learning English.”
Jaejoong loves it when Changmin’s eyes go all mismatched like that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s Notes:
Well, it’s finally finished! I hope it was worth the wait! XD
I looked back to the day that I posted Chapter One and it is only one month shy of a year. Chapter one was posted on August 14, 2008. I was three weeks pregnant. Now I’m a Mom! *ishappy*
*bows* Sorry that this took me so long to finish. I’m glad it’s done, but I’m kinda sad too.
In a totally unrelated aside…..I would like to ask has anyone ever actually heard Yunho call Jaejoong BooJae?
Where did this come from? If anyone knows please enlighten me!!!
Thanks for sticking with this story and for all the wonderful comments that have come my way!
Since this is the end of Change of Heart please say hello! *waveslikeamaniac*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cast Pics!
The lovely Kim Jaejoong! Okay. So I put in the smaller pic, but I added a second one!
The exquisite Shim Changmin!
Horikita Maki
The charismatic Kim Junsu!
Ye-ryeon
The aegyo Jung Yunho!
Donghae
The sultry Park Yoochun!
The delectable Joo Jihoon!
Kim Heechul. How can you not love Chullie!
Kang Eun Bi. Blech!
Yoon Eun Hye! Love her!
JaeMin!
HoSu!
ChunChul! HeeChun! YooChul! Whatever, it's Chunnie and Chullie!
♥♥♥
Author: Amouralamer
Length: 20 chapters + Epilogue
Pairings: Jaejoong/Changmin, Others
Rating: Fic: Up to Nc-17, This Chapter: PG
Genre: Au, Romance, Smut, Fluffy sap (Flap?)
A/N: Ta Da! Here it is! v(^o^)v
Fic Summary: Jaejoong and Changmin are straight, college students and fellow co-workers. A night out starts a chain reaction that changes their lives forever.
Disclaimer: I REFUSE to say they aren't mine! *thinkspositive* /(>.<)\
Previous Chapters:
[Chapter One][Chapter Two][Chapter Three][Chapter Four]
[Chapter Five][Chapter Six][Chapter Seven][Chapter Eight]
[Chapter Nine][Chapter Ten][Chapter Eleven][Chapter Twelve]
[Chapter Thirteen][Chapter Fourteen][Chapter Fifteen][Chapter Sixteen]
[Chapter Seventeen][Chapter Eighteen][Chapter Nineteen][Chapter Twenty]
♥ Change of Heart: Epilogue ♥
The sun was a glowing golden ember in an otherwise flawless expanse of blazing blue. Another year had come and gone and summer was once again asserting it's fiery dominance over Seoul.
Changmin, at the moment, was sadly observing his own supposed-to-be-glowing embers, unfortunately not quite as bright since he couldn't seem to get them lit. The grill was turning out to be a more formidable adversary than Min had anticipated. He'd been out in their rooftop garden fighting this wretched metal beast for the last half hour without success. Min’s foot twitched wanting to give the offending object a good kick.
The only thing that stopped him was fear that he would anger it.
Changmin had been charged with the seemingly simple task of lighting the charcoal in the grill. Company was coming and his lover had been slaving away all morning preparing the food. Changmin hadn't even gotten home from his rounds at the hospital in time to help set up the tables. This was the only thing he had been asked to do and damned if he was going to admit defeat and go running to Jaejoong. He could do this!
"I'm a genius." Changmin muttered almost accusingly. He had to figure this out before.....
"Min, Jae wants to know if the coals are hot yet."
Damn. Junsu. Just who he didn't want to catch him failing at something. He teased Su too much, there was no way Junsu would let this slide.
"Almost Hyung." Min lied, trying to nonchalantly block the grill from Junsu's sight. Listening to Su's footsteps bringing the doom of Changmin's dignity ever closer, Min resigned himself to the merciless mocking that was about to follow.
"Sunsu!"
Changmin relaxed with a smirk as his daughter's voice stopped Junsu's forward momentum.
Saved!
Min was always happy to see Ae Min, but to have her appear just in the nick of time like that...well, she was a gift from God in more ways than one.
Min was careful to keep himself between the grill and Junsu as he turned to watch the other man scoop little Ae Min up into his arms. He was her favorite Uncle, much to Heechul's chagrin, and Junsu in turn was wrapped around her tiny cute little finger. At two she had trouble saying his name properly and Changmin knew that Junsu melted whenever she called him Sunsu.
As Ae Min demanded that Junsu come play with her, he obediently turned and headed back down the stairs leaving Min alone with his frustration. Giving in to his desire to kick something, Changmin booted the other bag of briquettes. As it toppled over Min noticed a small plastic squirt bottle for the very first time. Picking it up he sees the words "Lighter Fluid" in bold red letters. Mwahahahaha...Victory shall yet be mine!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once again the air at Jaejoong and Changmin's was redolent with the smell of delicious foods and their friends had all gathered to partake of them. Yunho and Junsu, Yoochun, Heechul, Donghae and Ye-ryeon, Jihoon and Eun Hye. An invitation to eat Jaejoong's cooking was never turned down once you had experienced it. It was no wonder his restaurant, still new and relatively unknown, was developing such a diehard following so swiftly. Changmin was extremely proud of his love's success and happy that Jaejoong was so satisfied with the results of his hard work.
Looking around the roof at those gathered, Changmin could see the happy on all of them. They were all like family and it made him smile to see the people he loved so content.
Yunho and Junsu were always together. Junsu’s belongings still occupied his bedroom downstairs, but he never slept there anymore preferring to spend his time at Yunho’s home instead.
Donghae and Ye-ryeon, who had eaten lunch together the day that Yunho and Junsu officially became a couple, were dating. They were in no rush to get to the alter, but everyone knew it was only a matter of time. Junsu and Yunho loved the fact that their best friends had become a couple. They had a blast whenever the four of them got together.
Yoochun and Heechul had surprised everyone (except Jaejoong) with the rapidity of their developing relationship. Jaejoong said that after spending so much time with Yoochun, he had known that they would hit it off. Chullie never did find a place of his own and Chunnie’s game/guest room never saw a sleeping Heechul.
Quiet and serious by nature, it hadn’t taken Jihoon long to know that Eun Hye was the girl for him. Six months into their relationship Jihoon had proposed. A month later they were wed. Changmin, having noticed some changes in Eun Hye’s behavior in the last few weeks, was pretty sure they’d be making an announcement in the very near future. Ae Min would have a new “cousin” within the year.
And after two heavenly years together, Jaejoong and Changmin were closer than ever. Looking towards his lover, Changmin could practically feel the love swelling his heart near to bursting.
In loving Jaejoong Changmin had not only found a level of happiness he hadn't thought existed, he had also acquired another family.
He now had a daughter, thanks to Jaejoong. Changmin couldn’t love Ae Min more even if she wasn’t his biologically. She was the daughter of his heart. He was there when she got her first tooth, said her first word and took her first steps.
The Kims had taken to him immediately and treated him no different than Jaejoong or Junsu. With so many daughters (as well as Junsu and Jaejoong) providing them with a variety of sons-in-law, maybe he was imaging things, but Changmin was certain that they loved him the most.
And whenever he saw the others, he told them so.
Watching Ae Min tug on her Appa’s pant leg to get his attention, seeing Jaejoong lean down so that he could hear her better, watching as Jaejoong kissed their daughter…..Changmin thought to himself. That right there is my entire reason for living.
Ae Min looked just like Jaejoong, beautiful. She also had his sweet nature. Min was glad she didn't seem to have inherited anything of Eun Bi’s. Not that it would have mattered. He’d have fallen in love with her no matter what.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jaejoong, Junsu and Heechul were all gathered around the grill, laughing uproariously at something Heechul was saying. Min knew that Jae and Su were going to miss their cousin when he left. Chullie was going abroad with Yoochun for the summer. Chun, being obscenely wealthy, spent every summer in some part of Europe. This year their destination was Rome.
Standing in the shade of a lemon tree with Yunho and Yoochun, quietly admiring their lovers, Changmin can only nod along with Yunho when Yoochun says, “The Kim boys are quite a sight aren’t they?”
Feeling his heart drawing him to Jaejoong once again, Changmin wanders over to wrap long arms around his love. Resting his chin on Jaejoong’s shoulder Min makes a needy noise and laughing, Jaejoong uses a pair of chopsticks to maneuver a bite of food to his lover’s mouth. Kissing the crook of Jaejoong’s neck as thanks, Changmin is blissfully unaware of the tension he has left behind.
Yunho and Yoochun, forced into semi-close contact because the men they loved happened to be cousins, had still barely spoken to each other in the last two years. Yoochun’s relationship with Heechul had drained his anger, but the hurt still remained. He and Yunho had been too close for it to just fade away.
The two of them have been excruciatingly polite, only speaking to each other when necessary. Mostly they try to avoid being in such close proximity altogether. It is a little uncomfortable, but it has worked so far. Yunho reflects that this may be the first time they’ve actually been alone together in the last two years. The tension is almost painful and Yunho watches out of the corner of his eye as Yoochun mumbles something about another drink and starts to turn away. He isn’t surprised. It was only a matter of time before one of them made an excuse to leave the other’s company.
So it comes as somewhat of a shock to himself and Yoochun when he reaches out a hand to stop the other man from leaving. Chunnie looks down at the hand gripping tightly to his arm as if he doesn't quite believe what he is seeing. As his eyes follow the arm up to Yunho's face, Yunho lets go. Now that he has Yoochun’s full attention he isn’t sure he wants it, but there is something he has to get off of his chest even if it breaks the fragile peace between them.
Unable to maintain eye contact Yunho’s gaze falls to the ground as he tries to get the words out,
"Yoochun.....I...I never got a chance to say I'm sorry." Yoochun isn't sure he wants to hear what Yunho has to say, but something won’t let him walk away.
"I know you can't forgive me, but I need to say it. I'm sorry Yoochun." Finally looking Yoochun in the eyes Yunho can’t stop the tears gathering in his own, "I'm so sorry Yoochun. I'm so sorry. Chunnie I’m so sorry. I'm so damn sorry." And Yoochun finally realizes that Yunho's pain has been as great as his own. Maybe greater. As Yunho cries and keeps saying over and over how sorry he is Yoochun can't help but pull his old friend into his arms as he starts to cry too. Even as hurt as he had been, Yoochun had missed Yunho.
Clutching Yoochun to him Yunho lets out everything that had been festering inside of him for so long. "I'm so sorry! Chunnie I never wanted to hurt you! I'd have cut my own hands off before I hurt you on purpose! I loved you more than anything!"
“Then why Yunho?! If you loved me so much why did you do it?!” Yoochun thinks that this, the why of it, is what has tormented him the most. “Out of everyone I knew, I felt most secure in you. I’d have sooner believed my parents would betray me than to think that you would. And it probably would have hurt me less!”
Eyes closed, Yoochun listened to Yunho’s broken account of what had happened that night. How he got drunk and woke up next to a stranger. How he tried to apologize then, but Yoochun wouldn’t see him. How his family sent him away when they found out he was gay.
Remembering the way he handled the situation back then Yoochun knows that a large part of the pain they’ve carried around for so long has been due to his inability to forgive people who have hurt him and realizing that, he thinks to himself, What a waste…if I had only talked to him then so much of it might have been avoided…
Tightening his arms around Yunho, Yoochun whispers, "I'm sorry too Yunho. I'm sorry too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Watching Yunho and Yoochun from across the rooftop, Junsu was happy to see that things were finally getting resolved between them. Maybe now they can be friends again. Wiping a happy tear from the corner of his own eye, Su turns away just in time to see Heechul stalking towards the embracing men with a determined look on his face.
Hurrying to intercept his cousin Junsu grabs Heechul’s sleeve and drags him to a stop. “Chullie wait!”
"What do you mean wait?! How can you just stand there and let our boyfriends, who are ex-lovers by the way, get all touchie-feelie with each other?! Aren't you worried that Yunho will want him back?"
Junsu shrugs.
"Yunho loves me." He says simply.
Looking over at the man he loves he adds,
"And if Yunho ever decided that he still loved Yoochun and wanted to be with him, I'd let him go."
Seeing Heechul’s skepticism Su says,
"I mean it. I just want Yunho to be happy. If Yoochun is what makes him happy.....anyway, like I said, Yunho loves me and he needs this." Turning back to look at Yunho and Yoochun, who were just talking now, Junsu adds firmly, "They both do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The night is quiet but for the pleasant tonal hooting of a solitary owl. Through the open window comes wafting an intoxicating scent of jasmine and honeysuckle.
Jaejoong wakes and reaches for his lover only to find the bed empty. Stretching, Jaejoong yawns and entertains the idea of just going back to sleep. He knows though that he’ll never be able to doze off without Changmin in the bed next to him. Resigning himself, Jaejoong throws off the light sheet and leaves the downy comfort of his bed.
Padding barefoot through their silent apartment Jaejoong heads straight for the kitchen. Most people would have probably checked the bathroom first, but most people didn’t have Shim Changmin for a lover. Not finding anything in the kitchen except traces of Changmin’s midnight snack, Jaejoong proceeds to the bathroom. Not having any luck there either he makes his way to Ae Min’s room. Seeing that their daughter is also missing from her bed Jaejoong now knows where to find Changmin.
The view of Seoul from their rooftop garden was breathtaking. The night air was sweet and warm but with a gentle cooling breeze. It was the kind of perfect night you thought of when you longed for summer. The kind of night that songs were written about. Staring into the star spangled firmament, seeing the infinite stretch out before him, Jaejoong took a deep breath and felt as if his spirit was soaring.
Coming back down to Earth, Jaejoong scans the rooftop and finds his life in a brightly tasseled hammock. As he draws near he sees that Changmin’s eyes are open. Cradled in his arms is an angel.
“She was having trouble sleeping.” Min said quietly kissing the top of Ae Min’s sleep tousled head.
Gesturing for Min to make room Jaejoong carefully joins them in the hammock. Min shifts to his side as Jaejoong wraps his arms around his love and their daughter.
They lay there, utterly content, Jaejoong pressing soft loving kisses to Changmin's bare shoulder. Jae had lost count of the number of nights they had passed in this fashion. Sometimes with Ae Min and sometimes just the two of them. Feeling sleep begin to creep up on him now that he had Changmin pressed against himself, Jaejoong fought to remain conscious as Changmin started talking.
"Jaejoong..." Min's tone is serious and Jaejoong can tell he's been thinking hard about something.
"Hmm?"
"I think we're going to have to move."
Jaejoong was extremely comfortable so he didn't think Min meant move out of the hammock.
"You don't think we have enough room here? If you need an office or something that shouldn't be a problem. You know Su pretty much lives at Yunho's anyway. I could just ask him to make it official."
Changmin shakes his head. "No, that's not what I mean." He takes a deep breath. "I think we're going to have to leave Korea."
Jaejoong is speechless. Sensing Jae's shock, Min turns to lay on his back, careful not to disturb the precious bundle in his arms.
"Not right away, but in a few years, when it's time for Ae Min to start school."
Jaejoong is still confused.
"What...why don't you want Ae Min to go to school in Korea?"
"It's not that. Think about it, what happens when she starts talking about her family? When people ask her 'Where's your Umma?' and she says 'I don't have an Umma I have two Appa's'. Can you imagine what that would do to our life? To hers?"
Jaejoong could see now what Min was getting at and the scenarios running through his head made him shudder. Korea may be one of the most technologically advanced nations on the planet, but when it came to things like homosexuality, they were a very traditional people. Jaejoong knew there was no way their unconventional little family would find acceptance.
Changmin can see the sadness on Jaejoong's face, reaching his hand out he laced his fingers with his lover's.
"The way I see it, we have a couple of options. There is France or England or America. I know your restaurant is just starting out, but it's already doing well and by the time we leave it will be a huge success. I say you start looking for someone you can trust to take over the management of the restaurant and begin training them to do things the way you want them done. When we get to where we're going you can open a new branch. We'll keep this apartment and come home every summer."
Changmin could see that Jaejoong was struggling. It was a hard thing to consider. Hard to leave your family and your country, your culture and even your language. Min had come to terms with it, but he'd been thinking about it for a while now.
Squeezing Jaejoong's fingers gently, Min says quietly,
"It wouldn't have to be permanent. It would just be until Ae Min is old enough to know what to say and what to keep secret."
Jaejoong knows that Min is right. It would be hard, but he'd have Changmin and their daughter. When it came down to it that was the most important thing. Nodding he says, "You're right."
Looking his lover in the face Jaejoong adds, "You've thought a lot about this haven't you? Do you already have somewhere specific in mind?"
Changmin nods hesitantly and says,
"I'm thinking America. America has a large Korean population in California." Tightening his grip on Jaejoong's fingers he adds,
"A-a-nd in some places in America...two men can get m-married. T-to each other."
Looking into Changmin's eyes Jaejoong lets what Min has said wash over him and feels a lightening of his spirit. His imagination gives him visions of himself and Changmin holding hands and even kissing out in the open. The very thought is heady, dizzying in it’s splendor.
Now the idea of moving is no longer frightening or sad, but joyful. Something to look forward to. To run towards.
Realizing that Min is watching him intently Jaejoong whispers, teasing, "Shim Changmin. Are you asking me to marry you?"
Min nods, his eyes searching Jaejoong’s, looking for an answer. Silly man, like I’d ever say no Jaejoong pretends to think then says, ”I guess we’d better start learning English.”
Jaejoong loves it when Changmin’s eyes go all mismatched like that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s Notes:
Well, it’s finally finished! I hope it was worth the wait! XD
I looked back to the day that I posted Chapter One and it is only one month shy of a year. Chapter one was posted on August 14, 2008. I was three weeks pregnant. Now I’m a Mom! *ishappy*
*bows* Sorry that this took me so long to finish. I’m glad it’s done, but I’m kinda sad too.
In a totally unrelated aside…..I would like to ask has anyone ever actually heard Yunho call Jaejoong BooJae?
Where did this come from? If anyone knows please enlighten me!!!
Thanks for sticking with this story and for all the wonderful comments that have come my way!
Since this is the end of Change of Heart please say hello! *waveslikeamaniac*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cast Pics!
The lovely Kim Jaejoong! Okay. So I put in the smaller pic, but I added a second one!
The exquisite Shim Changmin!
Horikita Maki
The charismatic Kim Junsu!
Ye-ryeon
The aegyo Jung Yunho!
Donghae
The sultry Park Yoochun!
The delectable Joo Jihoon!
Kim Heechul. How can you not love Chullie!
Kang Eun Bi. Blech!
Yoon Eun Hye! Love her!
JaeMin!
HoSu!
ChunChul! HeeChun! YooChul! Whatever, it's Chunnie and Chullie!
♥♥♥