recap "The Cell Within"
it's been three months since my last recap. Maybe my writer's block was due to the dread of having to rewatch this episode for recapping purposes. I'm not feeling particularly brave today, but I do want to get past this one, because there are some interesting things to say about the final two episodes. If I ever get that far.
So, without further ado...
5.13 The Cell Within
We start off with a crack dealer in a hat stolen from The Brady Bunch. Which does not bode well for Tubbs's upcoming wardrobe. Seriously, MV is starting to get as bad as Highlander at depicting the underworld. Which reminds me of the Mean Streets of Vancouver, and how Canadian productions never seem to be able to make the streets look dirty enough. But I digress...
But you know this is a Bad Part of Town, because there are flaming oil drums and Hell's Angels. A dude in a turned up bicycling cap leads Stupid Hat Dealer down an even darker part of the dark alley, toward a white limo. Stupid Hat Dealer pulls out his switchblade, because apparently he is a refugee from The Brady Bunch (or Vancouver's Mean Streets), where that would be the scariest weapon a drug dealer could carry. Then he puts it away, because hey, dudes in white limos in Miami in the eighties are always harmless, right?
Stupid Hat Dude gets sucker punched from behind, and stuffed into the limo, his measly stash and a wad of one dollar bills left like litter on the street. Must have been big-time, huh?
Cut to a lady in a black bikini top under a sparkly white suit jacket. Ahh, how I missed Trashy Chic. We're at a book signing of some sort, which are apparently quite popular in Miami. Who knew? In the foreground, a woman wears a white sailor's cap. I kid you not.
Bookstoredude introduces a Vice stock character, namely Idiotic Pretentious Artist Guy. One must wonder if any of the creative staff on Vice had ever actually met any artists. They're not all Batshit. Really. Some of them even brush their hair occasionally. Pretentious Artist Guy (or PAG) introduces Jake Manning, who is BATSHIT CRAZY, except we don't know it yet. Tubbs is in attendance. I guess he just likes books. Anyway, Manning says that PAG held up a mirror to his soul, and sadly, I don't think the writers were hip to the meta when they coined that phrase. If they were, they would have run screaming from the rest of their creation.
So Manning rambles on boringly, hiding how BATSHIT he really is behind his bland exterior and rather nice tuxedo. Of course, as we'll see, he has left all the exciting duds at home. Worst Booksigning Evah, as Comic Book Guy would say. Turns out Manning and Tubbs are best buds. Once upon a time, in some case we never saw, Rico put Manning in the slammer for something or other. Guess he doesn't carry a grudge, 'cause he's all smiling and happy to have Manning sign a copy of the book for him. Not like Sonny. Sonny woulda been stalking that mutherfucker the minute he set toe to free soil, regardless of whether he'd payed his debt to society. Which wasn't a big debt, apparently. Since Rico's only been in Miami like five years, I guess the justice system didn't exactly throw the book at Manning, if he's out already.
Manning tells Rico he thought a lot about Rico in the joint. Which... ewwww. But Rico just answers "I bet you did," which, ewwwww. Anyway. Manning and Rico have a heart to heart, and I'm admiring Rico's herringbone pattern shirt under his grey striped suit, which is causing me to have slight dizzies, but on the Season Five Awfulness Scale, isn't too bad.
Whoops, missed Manning inviting Rico to dinner. So they can continue their chat. Rico graciously agrees. Have I mentioned that Season Five Rico is a bit of a dumbass?
roll credits. Ah, it's been so long. Hello Title! Hello Breasts! Hello Jai Alai! Hello Testarossa! Hello bikiniasses!
I didn't notice before that the collar on Rico's herringbone shirt is... overly large, but not in a hip seventies way. I need to stop obsessing over Rico's clothes. Okay.
Sonny, looking hot, is (understandably) dubious about Rico's dinner plans. He's also packing case files and what looks like a set of encyclopedias into a duffle bag. Rico is a bit Pollyanna. Manning's reformed, he's paid his debt, blah blah blah. Sonny mumbles something about time in the hole looking good right about now, which coming from a guy who not so long ago went EVIL and killed a cop and tried to singlehandedly take over the Miami underworld, is kinda making me giggle. Sonny takes off for vacation with Billy, taking his bag of books with him. A little light reading for the beach?? Then, on his way out the door, he thanks Castillo for the fishing rod Castillo apparently gave Billy, back when he was taken over by PodCastillo.
Castillo glowers at Tubbs, who won't let the patented CastilloGlower dampen his Pollyanna vibe. Castillo tells him to go to dinner armed. Which Rico will disregard. At least Castillo didn't remind him to bring a bottle of wine. My scorn toward Season Five would then be complete.
ah, commercial break. So far, nothing to hint at the horror to come.
Rico meets Manning's "assistant" who quick viewers will recognize as the dude who took down Stupid Hat Dealer in the teaser. The assistant walks Rico to Manning's house, because apparently he couldn't find it on his own. Turns out the assistant was a football star or a boxer or something. I fail to listen. Rico is vaguely impressed. Oh, wait, they're getting in a boat. That seems like a baaaad idea. Tubbs, my man, don't you have any internal warning bells? There's denial and then there's deeee-nial.
Turns out the faithful assistant was Manning's cell mate, which brings up all sorts of... nope. Not going there. Manning greets Rico from atop a glassed in... turret. He's wearing a white satin smoking jacket. Or something. There's also one of Francis Bacon's screaming pope paintings on the wall. Geez, Rico, what kind of signals do you need?? I'm still unclear on where Manning got all the money for this "crib." Manning dismisses Assistant Barry, calling him a "beautiful guy." It's possible this man could get creepier, but I'm not sure how.
Maybe Tubbs likes creepy.
Manning rambles on about all the good books he read in the joint, while a triptych that resembles Munch done by a goth kid stares forlornly over their shoulders. More creepy ass art behind Manning's desk, which Doesn't Scream Anvil At All, as it's three judgey types staring out from behind... a desk. The one in the middle looks a bit like Ronny Reagan.
Creepy painting lifts, and reveals four tv sets embedded into the wall. Manning says he's gonna show Tubbs some pictures, and asks him to free associate. Um... ooookay. Rico, hearing any bells yet?? No?? Okay.
Bad, grainy video appears on the screens. Without any sort of correlation between what he's seeing and what he says, Tubbs rattles off "Sex, drugs, violence to society," and Manning cheers him on like a condescending tutor. The third video makes Tubbs think of S&M and "sexual weirdness," which is fair, as it's a guy strapped to a frame with a dominatrix in front of him. Which makes me wonder what kind of party games Tubbs is used to if this little hum dinger isn't starting to concern him a teency bit.
Manning is a mite obsessed. He's nearly shaking as he explains his disgust with society. Tubbs goes with it. Uh huh.
If I were Tubbs, I woulda been creeped out by Manning's weird-ass bookcase. All the books are covered in either lavender or what looks like pea green paper. Also, they're haphazard as all hell. Get some bookends, bastard!
Manning's got a real hard on for punishment. Uh huh. Rico tells him he doesn't "swing" with vigilantism. Are the bells ringing yet?? Manning back pedals a bit. But not really, because actually he's just getting crazier, talking about punishment as an "enlightened thing." Which FINALLY prompts Rico to inquire when the other guests are coming.
Because it didn't occur to him before this little chat?
Now Manning brings the full crazy. "Be honest with me. If I had said we were dining alone, would you have come?" Which is usually the line Gina gets right about now. After which she'd sleep with the guy and then kill him. Anyone taking bets on whether that will happen here?
Rico decides this isn't the kinda party he's interested in having and starts to leave. Assistant Barry pegs him with a dart gun, and Rico flails around in slow motion before hitting the floor. And I flash back to Zombie!Tubbs. Whoops. If I were Sonny, I"d be seriously doubting the reliability of my partner's instincts right about now. Too bad Sonny's reading up on criminal law in case of future dissociative fugues while his son fishes.
Blessed, blessed infomercial. Save me from this horror!
Tubbs wakes up in a jail cell. His jacket has gone missing. Back at "Gold Coast Shipping," Trudy is wearing an enormous jacket, a short little skirt, and knee high boots. And still manages to outdress S5 Tubbs. Castillo is concerned. Stan cracks a joke, that maybe Tubbs got lucky the night before, and eewwww. Also, Stan has a framed picture of Elvis on his desk.
And now, Manning has ditched the civilized tux look for the Satanic Spanish Inquisition gear. Uh. Yeah. And I'm starting to wonder if I haven't accidentally flipped the channel to The Avengers, or Dr. Who. Where the evil is EVIL and proudly declares so through its wardrobe. Assistant Barry has also changed. Poor guy. Manning shows Rico his collection of Bad People Who Need to be Punished (and How).
And, in case we didn't get the point from the painting in Manning's office, Rico asks "Who gave you the right to judge?" Which Manning conveniently sidesteps with The CRazy. Manning next compares a very badly made up whore to a Madonna. Not, more appropriately, the Madonna. Which... oookay. Oh, hey, there's Stupid Hat Dealer, aka Eddy. Tubbs tries on Serious Face. Manning commiserates to Assistant Barry about how no one understands his Crazy Genius.
-a side note. I apologize for the abuse of capital letters. But it's necessary for my sanity. That is all.
Manning introduces Rico to his prison psychiatrist, who turns out to be... the sister from Mad About You. The worst of the worst of Manning's menagerie is his psychiatrist?? This dude has a seriously whacked idea of evil. And the actor? Wow. He's making PMT look nuanced.
Cue PAG. Castillo hovers by his door, looking... intimidated. And that can't be possible. This is the dude who faced down a gang of armed Russian spies armed with A FRICKING KATANA. PAG accuses Castillo of only seeing people as Good or Evil. He's apparently never read Sonny's personnel file. And then PAG plays hard to get, pulling Mannings address out of Castillo's hand like a seven year old, and Castillo mysteriously holds back his lazer beam eyes.
Back at Manning's House of Ridiculous Horror and Bad Acting, Manning zaps one of his keepsakes in his DIY Electric Chair while Rico pounds his puny, ineffectual arms against the glass and shouts silently. Poor Rico's bottom lip is even trembling with the awfulness of it all.
You know it's bad when the commercial for Enzyte, the All Natural Men's Enhancement, looks fascinating.
Rico asks Manning, who's pouting that Rico didn't like his little game, if he's gonna kill all of them. Which, uh... duh. And Rico finally starts acting like the smart cop I vaguely remember from earlier seasons and tells Manning that he could help get big time kids to play in his toy chair. Manning is wearing a necklace with a crystal, so I'm not sure if this is some kind of dig against the New Age or just... a throwback to the Superman movies. Assistant Barry watches as Rico tries to convince Manning to let the small fry go, which makes Manning get stuck on the whore.
Also, Rico has forgotten the first rule of police work - Don't Try Logic On A Psychopath.
Then he proceeds to break the second rule of police work, Don't Try and Pull One Over on a Psychopath.
I guess I wouldn't have any better ideas in his place.
Rico tries to convince the whore to act all innocent and shit. She doesn't come across as too smart.
Back at OCB, Castillo paces his pink office, and no one thinks to contact Sonny about his missing partner.
And good thing the whore was wearing her white whore outfit, because Rico does a Breakfast Club on her and suddenly she's all pristine and virginal. And Manning has appropriately changed into his White Satanic Spanish Inquisition threads. He also punches poor Assistant Barry for pointing out the obvious, and the actor playing Assistant Barry has the guts to play it as if Barry is emotionally devastated. And again... never mind.
All this takes place in front of The Painting Of Anvilly Doom. And Rico watches his plan falling apart as Manning wants to talk to Virginal Whore alone. Rico tries to work on Assistant Barry while Painting Ronny watches. Rico points out that Manning never takes Assistant Barry anywhere, never buys him nice things. It's almost as if Manning's... ashamed of their love.
PAG stumbles into a seafood restaurant, where Gina and Trudy are instantly made. PAG easily eludes them, as they are, as always, wearing completely inappropriate footwear. Luckily, Stan is there to chase him down.
In front of an admittedly interesting geometrical window, Manning interviews the Virginal Whore. Which is bound to go well for her. Assistant Barry is wearing something that looks like a metal dog collar, which is just... tasteless, at the very least, and Rico takes him down with what looks like a stainless steel triangle thingy that was handy on Manning's desk.
Also, have I mentioned that Rico's skills with a little water do wonders for a whore's hair? Manning gets even ickier while confusing the poor Virginal Whore by giving her a foot massage, who then give him the Wrong Answer. Rico lets Stupid Hat Dealer go, telling him to get help. Uh huh. His plan is foiled, as we knew it would be. And I don't know if I can stand to keep watching this stupid stupid episode. Rico comes to in a cell with Dead Virginal Whore, and I think I see his bottom lip going again.
We get another good luck at the Francis Bacon. Poor Francis deserves better. Rico tells Manning he's not gonna get away with this. Uh huh.
"There's no end to my disappointment in you, Rico," Manning says, and geez, me too. Manning just wants Rico to feel what Manning feels, and ewwwww.
MEanwhile, the PAG eludes Stan in a boat, because no baddies ever use boats in MIAMI.
Manning wants Rico to flip the switch and execute the psychiatrist. I wish someone would do the same for this episode and put it out of it's misery. I thought it would be more fun to recap, but turns out it's soooo bad it's not even snarkworthy.
PAG bangs on Manning's door, setting off alarms. Psychiatrist faints. Rico is manhandled somemore. He gets the bright idea to mess with the electric chair. PAG doesn't think it odd that Manning is wearing his Evil Pope Gear. Then, he is Pretentious, so maybe he has similar threads at home. When Manning brings The Crazy, PAG starts to hear those bells that Rico apparently lacks, in record time. Also, he has really bad hair.
"It's a metaphor! It's not Real!" PAG yells, "It means I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO KILL ANYBODY REALLY!"
Then Manning seems taken aback by the concept of a metaphor. He changes his mind and decides PAG should flip the switch. "Is it murder if you kill to save yourself?" Uh... well. Maybe?
Rico yells, Manning Yells, and it's all too much for poor PAG, who sinks to the floor weeping. Manning orders Assistant Barry to flip the switch and Barry complies, but there is sparkage and Rico uses the distraction to grapple ineffectually with Manning, who then flees into the loving embrace of Stan, who has apparently located a boat.
Also, Manning is wearing Birkenstocks, which makes me giggle.
Manning commits Suicide by Cop, FINALLY, and Tubbs rushes to his side. "Jake, you set yourself up, man," Rico says, as if he's... sorry? Which makes me like Rico a hell of a lot less than I did even five seconds ago.
Manning does his whole creepy last words thing, and Castillo is all like "Can we get the hell out of here YET? I have to go do some Ninja shit." and we freeze and I'm so happy I could cry as I push the button to tell the TIVO to delete this sucker, which has been hanging around since March.
So, without further ado...
5.13 The Cell Within
We start off with a crack dealer in a hat stolen from The Brady Bunch. Which does not bode well for Tubbs's upcoming wardrobe. Seriously, MV is starting to get as bad as Highlander at depicting the underworld. Which reminds me of the Mean Streets of Vancouver, and how Canadian productions never seem to be able to make the streets look dirty enough. But I digress...
But you know this is a Bad Part of Town, because there are flaming oil drums and Hell's Angels. A dude in a turned up bicycling cap leads Stupid Hat Dealer down an even darker part of the dark alley, toward a white limo. Stupid Hat Dealer pulls out his switchblade, because apparently he is a refugee from The Brady Bunch (or Vancouver's Mean Streets), where that would be the scariest weapon a drug dealer could carry. Then he puts it away, because hey, dudes in white limos in Miami in the eighties are always harmless, right?
Stupid Hat Dude gets sucker punched from behind, and stuffed into the limo, his measly stash and a wad of one dollar bills left like litter on the street. Must have been big-time, huh?
Cut to a lady in a black bikini top under a sparkly white suit jacket. Ahh, how I missed Trashy Chic. We're at a book signing of some sort, which are apparently quite popular in Miami. Who knew? In the foreground, a woman wears a white sailor's cap. I kid you not.
Bookstoredude introduces a Vice stock character, namely Idiotic Pretentious Artist Guy. One must wonder if any of the creative staff on Vice had ever actually met any artists. They're not all Batshit. Really. Some of them even brush their hair occasionally. Pretentious Artist Guy (or PAG) introduces Jake Manning, who is BATSHIT CRAZY, except we don't know it yet. Tubbs is in attendance. I guess he just likes books. Anyway, Manning says that PAG held up a mirror to his soul, and sadly, I don't think the writers were hip to the meta when they coined that phrase. If they were, they would have run screaming from the rest of their creation.
So Manning rambles on boringly, hiding how BATSHIT he really is behind his bland exterior and rather nice tuxedo. Of course, as we'll see, he has left all the exciting duds at home. Worst Booksigning Evah, as Comic Book Guy would say. Turns out Manning and Tubbs are best buds. Once upon a time, in some case we never saw, Rico put Manning in the slammer for something or other. Guess he doesn't carry a grudge, 'cause he's all smiling and happy to have Manning sign a copy of the book for him. Not like Sonny. Sonny woulda been stalking that mutherfucker the minute he set toe to free soil, regardless of whether he'd payed his debt to society. Which wasn't a big debt, apparently. Since Rico's only been in Miami like five years, I guess the justice system didn't exactly throw the book at Manning, if he's out already.
Manning tells Rico he thought a lot about Rico in the joint. Which... ewwww. But Rico just answers "I bet you did," which, ewwwww. Anyway. Manning and Rico have a heart to heart, and I'm admiring Rico's herringbone pattern shirt under his grey striped suit, which is causing me to have slight dizzies, but on the Season Five Awfulness Scale, isn't too bad.
Whoops, missed Manning inviting Rico to dinner. So they can continue their chat. Rico graciously agrees. Have I mentioned that Season Five Rico is a bit of a dumbass?
roll credits. Ah, it's been so long. Hello Title! Hello Breasts! Hello Jai Alai! Hello Testarossa! Hello bikiniasses!
I didn't notice before that the collar on Rico's herringbone shirt is... overly large, but not in a hip seventies way. I need to stop obsessing over Rico's clothes. Okay.
Sonny, looking hot, is (understandably) dubious about Rico's dinner plans. He's also packing case files and what looks like a set of encyclopedias into a duffle bag. Rico is a bit Pollyanna. Manning's reformed, he's paid his debt, blah blah blah. Sonny mumbles something about time in the hole looking good right about now, which coming from a guy who not so long ago went EVIL and killed a cop and tried to singlehandedly take over the Miami underworld, is kinda making me giggle. Sonny takes off for vacation with Billy, taking his bag of books with him. A little light reading for the beach?? Then, on his way out the door, he thanks Castillo for the fishing rod Castillo apparently gave Billy, back when he was taken over by PodCastillo.
Castillo glowers at Tubbs, who won't let the patented CastilloGlower dampen his Pollyanna vibe. Castillo tells him to go to dinner armed. Which Rico will disregard. At least Castillo didn't remind him to bring a bottle of wine. My scorn toward Season Five would then be complete.
ah, commercial break. So far, nothing to hint at the horror to come.
Rico meets Manning's "assistant" who quick viewers will recognize as the dude who took down Stupid Hat Dealer in the teaser. The assistant walks Rico to Manning's house, because apparently he couldn't find it on his own. Turns out the assistant was a football star or a boxer or something. I fail to listen. Rico is vaguely impressed. Oh, wait, they're getting in a boat. That seems like a baaaad idea. Tubbs, my man, don't you have any internal warning bells? There's denial and then there's deeee-nial.
Turns out the faithful assistant was Manning's cell mate, which brings up all sorts of... nope. Not going there. Manning greets Rico from atop a glassed in... turret. He's wearing a white satin smoking jacket. Or something. There's also one of Francis Bacon's screaming pope paintings on the wall. Geez, Rico, what kind of signals do you need?? I'm still unclear on where Manning got all the money for this "crib." Manning dismisses Assistant Barry, calling him a "beautiful guy." It's possible this man could get creepier, but I'm not sure how.
Maybe Tubbs likes creepy.
Manning rambles on about all the good books he read in the joint, while a triptych that resembles Munch done by a goth kid stares forlornly over their shoulders. More creepy ass art behind Manning's desk, which Doesn't Scream Anvil At All, as it's three judgey types staring out from behind... a desk. The one in the middle looks a bit like Ronny Reagan.
Creepy painting lifts, and reveals four tv sets embedded into the wall. Manning says he's gonna show Tubbs some pictures, and asks him to free associate. Um... ooookay. Rico, hearing any bells yet?? No?? Okay.
Bad, grainy video appears on the screens. Without any sort of correlation between what he's seeing and what he says, Tubbs rattles off "Sex, drugs, violence to society," and Manning cheers him on like a condescending tutor. The third video makes Tubbs think of S&M and "sexual weirdness," which is fair, as it's a guy strapped to a frame with a dominatrix in front of him. Which makes me wonder what kind of party games Tubbs is used to if this little hum dinger isn't starting to concern him a teency bit.
Manning is a mite obsessed. He's nearly shaking as he explains his disgust with society. Tubbs goes with it. Uh huh.
If I were Tubbs, I woulda been creeped out by Manning's weird-ass bookcase. All the books are covered in either lavender or what looks like pea green paper. Also, they're haphazard as all hell. Get some bookends, bastard!
Manning's got a real hard on for punishment. Uh huh. Rico tells him he doesn't "swing" with vigilantism. Are the bells ringing yet?? Manning back pedals a bit. But not really, because actually he's just getting crazier, talking about punishment as an "enlightened thing." Which FINALLY prompts Rico to inquire when the other guests are coming.
Because it didn't occur to him before this little chat?
Now Manning brings the full crazy. "Be honest with me. If I had said we were dining alone, would you have come?" Which is usually the line Gina gets right about now. After which she'd sleep with the guy and then kill him. Anyone taking bets on whether that will happen here?
Rico decides this isn't the kinda party he's interested in having and starts to leave. Assistant Barry pegs him with a dart gun, and Rico flails around in slow motion before hitting the floor. And I flash back to Zombie!Tubbs. Whoops. If I were Sonny, I"d be seriously doubting the reliability of my partner's instincts right about now. Too bad Sonny's reading up on criminal law in case of future dissociative fugues while his son fishes.
Blessed, blessed infomercial. Save me from this horror!
Tubbs wakes up in a jail cell. His jacket has gone missing. Back at "Gold Coast Shipping," Trudy is wearing an enormous jacket, a short little skirt, and knee high boots. And still manages to outdress S5 Tubbs. Castillo is concerned. Stan cracks a joke, that maybe Tubbs got lucky the night before, and eewwww. Also, Stan has a framed picture of Elvis on his desk.
And now, Manning has ditched the civilized tux look for the Satanic Spanish Inquisition gear. Uh. Yeah. And I'm starting to wonder if I haven't accidentally flipped the channel to The Avengers, or Dr. Who. Where the evil is EVIL and proudly declares so through its wardrobe. Assistant Barry has also changed. Poor guy. Manning shows Rico his collection of Bad People Who Need to be Punished (and How).
And, in case we didn't get the point from the painting in Manning's office, Rico asks "Who gave you the right to judge?" Which Manning conveniently sidesteps with The CRazy. Manning next compares a very badly made up whore to a Madonna. Not, more appropriately, the Madonna. Which... oookay. Oh, hey, there's Stupid Hat Dealer, aka Eddy. Tubbs tries on Serious Face. Manning commiserates to Assistant Barry about how no one understands his Crazy Genius.
-a side note. I apologize for the abuse of capital letters. But it's necessary for my sanity. That is all.
Manning introduces Rico to his prison psychiatrist, who turns out to be... the sister from Mad About You. The worst of the worst of Manning's menagerie is his psychiatrist?? This dude has a seriously whacked idea of evil. And the actor? Wow. He's making PMT look nuanced.
Cue PAG. Castillo hovers by his door, looking... intimidated. And that can't be possible. This is the dude who faced down a gang of armed Russian spies armed with A FRICKING KATANA. PAG accuses Castillo of only seeing people as Good or Evil. He's apparently never read Sonny's personnel file. And then PAG plays hard to get, pulling Mannings address out of Castillo's hand like a seven year old, and Castillo mysteriously holds back his lazer beam eyes.
Back at Manning's House of Ridiculous Horror and Bad Acting, Manning zaps one of his keepsakes in his DIY Electric Chair while Rico pounds his puny, ineffectual arms against the glass and shouts silently. Poor Rico's bottom lip is even trembling with the awfulness of it all.
You know it's bad when the commercial for Enzyte, the All Natural Men's Enhancement, looks fascinating.
Rico asks Manning, who's pouting that Rico didn't like his little game, if he's gonna kill all of them. Which, uh... duh. And Rico finally starts acting like the smart cop I vaguely remember from earlier seasons and tells Manning that he could help get big time kids to play in his toy chair. Manning is wearing a necklace with a crystal, so I'm not sure if this is some kind of dig against the New Age or just... a throwback to the Superman movies. Assistant Barry watches as Rico tries to convince Manning to let the small fry go, which makes Manning get stuck on the whore.
Also, Rico has forgotten the first rule of police work - Don't Try Logic On A Psychopath.
Then he proceeds to break the second rule of police work, Don't Try and Pull One Over on a Psychopath.
I guess I wouldn't have any better ideas in his place.
Rico tries to convince the whore to act all innocent and shit. She doesn't come across as too smart.
Back at OCB, Castillo paces his pink office, and no one thinks to contact Sonny about his missing partner.
And good thing the whore was wearing her white whore outfit, because Rico does a Breakfast Club on her and suddenly she's all pristine and virginal. And Manning has appropriately changed into his White Satanic Spanish Inquisition threads. He also punches poor Assistant Barry for pointing out the obvious, and the actor playing Assistant Barry has the guts to play it as if Barry is emotionally devastated. And again... never mind.
All this takes place in front of The Painting Of Anvilly Doom. And Rico watches his plan falling apart as Manning wants to talk to Virginal Whore alone. Rico tries to work on Assistant Barry while Painting Ronny watches. Rico points out that Manning never takes Assistant Barry anywhere, never buys him nice things. It's almost as if Manning's... ashamed of their love.
PAG stumbles into a seafood restaurant, where Gina and Trudy are instantly made. PAG easily eludes them, as they are, as always, wearing completely inappropriate footwear. Luckily, Stan is there to chase him down.
In front of an admittedly interesting geometrical window, Manning interviews the Virginal Whore. Which is bound to go well for her. Assistant Barry is wearing something that looks like a metal dog collar, which is just... tasteless, at the very least, and Rico takes him down with what looks like a stainless steel triangle thingy that was handy on Manning's desk.
Also, have I mentioned that Rico's skills with a little water do wonders for a whore's hair? Manning gets even ickier while confusing the poor Virginal Whore by giving her a foot massage, who then give him the Wrong Answer. Rico lets Stupid Hat Dealer go, telling him to get help. Uh huh. His plan is foiled, as we knew it would be. And I don't know if I can stand to keep watching this stupid stupid episode. Rico comes to in a cell with Dead Virginal Whore, and I think I see his bottom lip going again.
We get another good luck at the Francis Bacon. Poor Francis deserves better. Rico tells Manning he's not gonna get away with this. Uh huh.
"There's no end to my disappointment in you, Rico," Manning says, and geez, me too. Manning just wants Rico to feel what Manning feels, and ewwwww.
MEanwhile, the PAG eludes Stan in a boat, because no baddies ever use boats in MIAMI.
Manning wants Rico to flip the switch and execute the psychiatrist. I wish someone would do the same for this episode and put it out of it's misery. I thought it would be more fun to recap, but turns out it's soooo bad it's not even snarkworthy.
PAG bangs on Manning's door, setting off alarms. Psychiatrist faints. Rico is manhandled somemore. He gets the bright idea to mess with the electric chair. PAG doesn't think it odd that Manning is wearing his Evil Pope Gear. Then, he is Pretentious, so maybe he has similar threads at home. When Manning brings The Crazy, PAG starts to hear those bells that Rico apparently lacks, in record time. Also, he has really bad hair.
"It's a metaphor! It's not Real!" PAG yells, "It means I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO KILL ANYBODY REALLY!"
Then Manning seems taken aback by the concept of a metaphor. He changes his mind and decides PAG should flip the switch. "Is it murder if you kill to save yourself?" Uh... well. Maybe?
Rico yells, Manning Yells, and it's all too much for poor PAG, who sinks to the floor weeping. Manning orders Assistant Barry to flip the switch and Barry complies, but there is sparkage and Rico uses the distraction to grapple ineffectually with Manning, who then flees into the loving embrace of Stan, who has apparently located a boat.
Also, Manning is wearing Birkenstocks, which makes me giggle.
Manning commits Suicide by Cop, FINALLY, and Tubbs rushes to his side. "Jake, you set yourself up, man," Rico says, as if he's... sorry? Which makes me like Rico a hell of a lot less than I did even five seconds ago.
Manning does his whole creepy last words thing, and Castillo is all like "Can we get the hell out of here YET? I have to go do some Ninja shit." and we freeze and I'm so happy I could cry as I push the button to tell the TIVO to delete this sucker, which has been hanging around since March.