Aiba-chan's Recomen! Arashi Remix 09.11.2009 [TRANSLATIONS]
Sad news, everyone: his partner-in-crime, Chika-san, isn't here at this show. :( And, while the staff member tries hard to be engaging, you can tell by the lack of Aiba giggles that it's just not the same. *sniff* I really think that the listeners' mail would have been perfect for our favorite pervy duo, too.
**Announcements**
a) The drawing for Aiba-chan's Recomen 2009.09.04 has taken place, but you still have time to participate in Nino's BayStorm 2009.09.06 translations. :)
b) To participate in the mini-contest for this set of translations, include in your comment which listener's mail you enjoyed the most!
Kind reminders:
+ My translations should NOT be used elsewhere or reposted anywhere without my consent. If you want to use my translations for something, please PM me and tell me how you intend to use them. Please respect this rule: 30-minute radio shows do take time to translate.
+ If you want to post about these translations somewhere (your own blog, forums, etc.), a link back to my page would be kindly appreciated. [ex: "I read in a Recomen translation from amnosxmatsujun that Aiba-chan..."] *thank you!
+ If you enjoyed the translations, I'd love to hear from you! :) Comments are ♥♥
Highlights from this Recomen!:
# I really think that this batch of listeners' mail would have lived up to their full potential in the hands of two pervs... or just Chika-san, lol.
# And this is what happens with Chika-san isn't here: no personality quiz. :(
# He talks a bit about being on the set of My Girl (with the kids)!
# Guess what Aiba-chan is allergic to...?
# OHEMGEE. If I ever saw him do that at a concert... xD
This particular Recomen can be found HERE @ MF. *audio credits: ysy2021 Thank you!
A=Aiba-chan
S=Staff
A: Would you like to eat dinner first? Take a bath? Or… Arashi! Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening, I’m Aiba Masaki from Arashi. On August 28th, 29th, and 30th, we held live concerts at Kokuritsu.
S: Right.
A: For those who came to see us, thank you so much! It rained on the last day, so for those of you who were there despite the weather, we really do appreciate it. Thank you. So today, Chikazawa-san (*aka Chika-san)… is running late?
S: Actually, he’s not coming at all…
A: That’s a new approach! Chikazawa-san won’t be here?
S: [laugh] That’s what I heard.
A: I heard it through the grapevine that he’s not really fond of live shows, right?
S: I may remember hearing something like that.
A: Live shows… wait a second. If he’s not here because of work, does that mean he’s prioritizing one work over another?
S: [laugh]
A: Is that what this means? This is work, too.
S: [laugh] That’s true.
A: Right?
S: That’s true.
A: That Chikazawa-san… I plan to beat him to a pulp next week. I hope everyone will look forward to that. [laugh]
S: [laugh]
A: I’d like to read our first mail for the night. This is about the concert I was talking about earlier. This is from radio pen name Rina-chan from Tokyo: “I was privileged to go to the concert on the 28th. I am applying for colleges this year, but I’ve always supported you so I definitely wanted to attend the concert. So I told myself that if I study hard during the summer, I’ll go to the concert. Because of this, the lyrics to Arashi’s songs were more moving than ever before. I cried so much at the concert. I was deeply touched. I heard “5x10” for the first time at your show, and I can feel the appreciation you all put into the song. I love the ‘arigato’ part and it makes me so proud to be Arashi’s fan. I’m glad I have been your fan this whole time. I should be thanking you.” I see.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Thank you so much, really. See, everyone… has different situations. For Rina-chan, it was during entrance exams and she may have not been able to make it. But she worked so hard so she could be there. I’m thankful for that.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Right?
S: It’s an honor.
A: Indeed. Arashi’s… 5x10 Tour is still going on, so for those of you attending, please look forward to it. Let’s begin. Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening once again. This is Aiba Masaki from Arashi. This show is brought to you from Bunka housou in Hamamatsu city and broadcasted nationwide. Without delay, here’s the first number for the evening. We brought this up in conversation already, but please listen to it. This is from our All the BEST! album, Arashi’s “5x10”.
[♪ Arashi - “5x10”]
A: Here’s a newsflash for your ears: checkmate! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! “Memory Shredder!” During this segment, I’ll read some of your embarrassing stories or moments you’d like to forget, and place them through a paper shredder so you can rest at ease. We have tons of embarrassing stories again this week, so we’d like to share some of them with you. Let’s begin! First is from radio pen name Akane-chan: “When I was in 7th grade, it was the popular thing to pull down your classmates’ gym bottoms. One day, someone got me as I was getting in line. Usually, it’d end with, ‘Stop that!’, but that day, my underwear also came down with it. My friend was shocked, but so was I as I squatted down. This is so embarrassing that I still can’t forget about it.” I see. This happened a lot.
S: It did.
A: In elementary school… we’d pull down each other’s pants.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: And I did see some whose underwear came down with them.
S: Yeah. [laugh]
A: You gotta aim where the elastic band is loose. Please be careful. How old was she? In 7th grade?! … 7th grade, huh? That must have been embarrassing, then.
S: I’d say so, yes.
A: They’re not in their early elementary school years. They’re… in between being an adult and a child, right?
S: [laugh] Right. It depends on the person, but…
A: It depends, but some are already “on their way”, if you know what I mean.
S: True. [laugh]
A: This must be embarrassing.
S: [laugh]
A: They shouldn’t allow this starting in middle school. That’s no good. Okay, let’s move on. This is by radio pen name Sasurai no Sakurai-kun from Fukuoka city (*Wanderer Sakurai-kun): “When I was in 7th grade, I thought about confessing my love for an upperclassman. Because I was nervous, I was looking down so I ended up confessing my love for the teacher with whom he was speaking. The upperclassman thought that was gross and ran away. The teacher I mistakenly professed my love for is a balding, 58-year-old geezer and I hated him as a teacher. I was standing there in shock, but my teacher put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘Thank you for telling me how you feel. But I must say… you have great taste in men. I may look this way, but I’m quite popular with the ladies.’ He completely misunderstood me. This is the worst mistake ever.” That’s awful.
S: This is-
A: This really happens!
S: I guess so.
A: And the teacher… should have caught on.
S: Yeah.
A: That she was confessing to the other student. I can’t believe this happened.
S: But this teacher’s popular with the ladies.
A: But… he says, “I may look this way”!
S: [laugh]
A: I wonder what that means.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: She says he’s balding and that she hates him.
S: [laugh]
A: But school teachers… what do you think? Are they… are they popular? When a college student comes in to get hands-on experience, they’re always this hero figure for a week or so.
S: Ah, when they come to as student teachers.
A: Yeah, yeah.
S: They are heroes.
A: Right? I bet they’re popular when they’re young.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Generally speaking… ah. But I bet teaching is a difficult profession.
S: It must be.
A: It might be the most difficult!
S: Mm-hmm.
A: I’m around kids because of the new drama…
S: Yes, yes, yes.
A: It must be so hard to do that everyday, 30 kids at a time, as one class.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: That’s insane.
S: They’re so energetic.
A: Those kids!
S: Yeah.
A: The kind of difficulties you face in elementary school, middle school, and high school are different.
S: Yeah.
A: Some might be going through their rebellious stage.
S: True.
A: I wish luck to all the teachers out there.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Here’s the next one. This is by radio pen name Souda, Tokyo e ikou-san from Tokyo (*Yeah, let’s go to Tokyo): “When I was in 2nd grade, I asked my mom what ‘virginity’ meant (* “doutei” in Japanese; the kanji does not explicitly reveal the meaning). Back then, I was picturing something like a ‘zashiki-warashi’ (*fictional monster in Japanese folklore) Now, in middle school, I learned what ‘virginity’ meant and am really embarrassed. I don’t even want to picture the look on my mom’s face when I asked her. Ignorance is terrifying.” I see. That’s true.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Virginity… when you think “virginity”, you don’t automatically link it to perverted ideas, right?
S: That’s true, you wouldn’t think that.
A: Right? The way the word sounds isn’t that telling, either (*again, “doutei”). It sounds kind of similar to “dougan” (*baby-faced)… right?
S: True.
A: I wonder what her mom answered.
S: Yeah.
A: She even says that she was imagining something like a “zashiki-warashi”.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Oh, I see. Like a monster.
S: Like a monster. [laugh]
A: Like a monster.
S: But…
A: Well, there could be a monster named “doutei”.
S: True.
A: Like Nurikabe. Or Sunakake-babaa “doutei”. (*both monsters in Japanese folklore)
S: Mm. What would you say if someone asked you?
A: Me? What would I answer? If someone asked me what virginity was?
S: Yeah.
A: What?! … This is really difficult!
S: It is.
A: What should I do? … I’d probably ask, “Do you really care to know?”
S: Ah.
A: I’ll try to skillfully evade the question.
S: Be ambiguous with your words.
A: Yeah… but I wonder. The way I’d answer would be totally different if she were my child, if I were a parent, versus a next-door neighbor.
S: Yeah, yeah, your standpoints would be different.
A: Right. But shouldn’t parents educate their children about these things?
S: “Virginity is…”?
A: “Let me tell you what ‘virginity’ means.”
S: [laugh]
A: I wonder. That’s difficult. But that’s why they have those classes at school.
S: Yeah.
A: Right… let’s just leave it to them. Let’s move on. This is by radio pen name Ayumi-chan from Tokyo: “The memory I do not want to remember is this. It’s common sense to read ‘0101’ as ‘Marui’, right? (*the “0” is read as “maru”, meaning circle, and the “1” is read as “i”, short for “ichi”) Until some time ago, I thought it was read, ‘oioi’ (*mistaking the “0” as an “o”, the “1” as an “i”). I asked my friend, ‘Hey, let’s go to oioi,” as I pointed toward the store sign, to which she politely corrected, ‘What? You read that as Marui’. I was so embarrassed then.” Hm… I read that as Marui. But I wonder why… if one person could read it, the name would spread.
S: That’s true.
A: But it’s difficult at first.
S: You wouldn’t read it as Marui.
A: You can’t, right?
S: No.
A: But I bet there are many others like that! Let’s keep going. This is our last one, from radio pen name Misaki-chan from Saitama: “I transferred to a new school the last trimester of 6th grade. At the graduation ceremony, in order to receive my diploma, I climbed up towards the stage when the other students and their parents started to stir. I thought, ‘What’s wrong? Is it because I’m a transfer student?’ Then, a teacher came up to the stage and grabbed my skirt. Surprised, I angrily asked, ‘What is it?!’, to which she calmly replied, ‘Your underwear was showing.’ I was flashing my backside perfectly for all to see. After the ceremony, a guy who had befriended me said, ‘That sky blue underwear you’ve got on isn’t all that bad.’” This is embarrassing.
S: Yes, it is.
A: How is it that only the back was showing?
S: Right, just the back.
A: Yeah. Only the back of her underwear was showing, right?
S: That’s correct.
A: Everyone, please do be careful. I’ll go ahead and shred your memories! [paper shredding noises] Please send in your embarrassing stories you’d like to forget. The e-mail address is Arashi@joqr.net! That concludes Memory Shredder!
A: After the kids have gone to bed, tune in quietly! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Oshiete Aiba-chan! (*Tell me, Aiba-chan!) Here, I’ll answer questions that you’ve sent in! Ready~? First one is from radio pen name Chokkin-san from Saitama: “At my house, there is a huge piggy bank to which we’ve all contributed, hoping to break it open one day. Until about five years ago, all my family members were participating, but lately, no one has added to it. I was curious so I tried carrying it, and I was amazed at how heavy it was. I thought my family would notice if the piggy bank went missing, so I hid it in the closet but no one noticed. I even brought it up in conversation on purpose, but none of them have taken the hint. I feel like I should just open it, but what do you think I ought to do? What would you do, Aiba-chan?” I see! I wonder how big it is. Does she mean a really large piggy bank?
S: Hm…
A: But isn’t that nice, to save up money as a family?
S: It is.
A: Right? They could use that money to help pay for a family vacation. Though, it depends on how stuffed that piggy bank is. I don’t know how big it is, but if it’s half full, she should open it and have yakiniku together or use it to help pay for a family vacation. Right, but I think you should tell your family… and use the money together.
S: I agree.
A: Yeah. Let’s have her do that. Next one is from radio pen name Keiko-san from Ishikawa: “The other day, I ate a mango and the next day, my body was covered in hives. I rushed to the doctor to have it checked, only to be told that I’m allergic to mangoes. I didn’t think such allergy existed so I’m quite surprised. Do you have any allergies?” Wow… I’ve never heard of mango allergies, but I’m sure there are allergies for everything.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: As for me… oysters. You know those oysters? Not persimmons, but oysters. (*in Japanese the word for oyster and persimmons is the same, though with different inflections)
S: Oysters, yes.
A: When I have it raw, I break out into hives.
S: Ah…
A: It depends on how well I’m doing, but in most cases, I get hives.
S: Oh.
A: But I like them, so if I have the day off the next day, I eat them anyway.
S: Oh, you eat them anyway? [laugh] You do?
A: I do. I like the taste.
S: Right, right, right.
A: That sort of… milky taste?
S: Mm-hmm.
A: I like that, so I eat them. It’s important to have these checked and really know your body!
S: Absolutely.
A: Okay, moving on. This is by radio pen name Sayaka-san: “Aiba-chan, KonAiba!” KonAiba! (* “konbanwa”, or good evening, + Aiba) “What do you do when you pull a leg muscle? It’s common to pull towards your shin while grabbing your big toe.” Oh, that’s true. When I pull a leg muscle during a concert, I pull back on it like that. Or I just let it be. It really hurts. “I heard of a great way to alleviate the pain, so I’ll inform you of it now. The procedure is to massage the breast opposite of your cramped leg.
S: [laugh]
A: “I heard this from an aesthetician, and though I was skeptical about it, she tells me it really works. This method only works for women, as her breasts are her vital spots. By massaging her breasts, the circulation in her body rebalances.”
S: Hm…
A: “So what are men supposed to do instead? They have their own vital spots. The procedure is to massage the testicle opposite of your cramping leg.”
S: [laugh]
A: Is this really true?!
S: [laugh]
A: “I’d like to test this theory, but I don’t usually pull muscle in my legs. What do you do when you pull a leg muscle? Please try this method.” You know… this might be fine if I’m in bed at night. But let’s say I pull my right leg at a concert and I start massaging my left testicle. That’s not okay.
S: [laugh]
A: I think I’d get yelled at, seriously. They’d make me pay for something like that.
S: True.
A: For me to do something like that.
S: You can’t do this in public.
A: Is this true?! Alright, this one’s from radio pen name Haru-chan form Hyogo: “I recently told my friend from the Kanto area that I put black sugar molasses on my tokoroten, but she told me that one should eat it with sanbai-su. (* “tokoroten” is a dish of gelatin-like noodles made from seafood broth; sanbai-su is a mixture of soy sauce, vinegar, and rice wine) You were born in Chiba; do you eat tokoroten with sanbai-su? Let me know.” I’ll tell you.
S: Okay.
A: I haven’t had tokoroten much.
S: Uh-oh… you haven’t?
A: I haven’t! This is no good asking me. But there are two versions, one with black sugar molasses and another with sanbai-su? Right?
S: That’s correct.
A: We ended on such an ambiguous note.
S: [laugh]
A: Apologies. That was Tell me, Aiba-chan. Please take a listen now. This is from our All the BEST! album, Arashi’s “Crazy Moon”.
[♪ Arashi - “Crazy Moon ~Kimi wa Muteki~”]
A: Send your postcards to Bunka Housou Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix!. Zip code 105-8002. E-mail address: Arashi@joqr.net. Please put the name of the segment in the subject. You can also send us a message through the Bunka Housou website. So time’s almost up. Starting October, I’ll be in a drama on TV Asahi, called My Girl. It’s on Friday nights, so I hope you all tune in. Our best album is now on sale. All singles between 1999-2009 are in this album. And, as we mentioned before, we have our 10th anniversary tour, 5x10, in the major stadiums. On September 18th, we’ll perform first at Fukuoka Yahoo! Japan. Then, January 16th and 17th of next year, we finish the stadium tour at Nagoya Stadium. I’m looking forward to meeting everyone, so for those of you attending, please look forward to it. This was Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix. Your radio partner was Aiba Masaki from Arashi. See you next week. Bye-bye!
**Announcements**
a) The drawing for Aiba-chan's Recomen 2009.09.04 has taken place, but you still have time to participate in Nino's BayStorm 2009.09.06 translations. :)
b) To participate in the mini-contest for this set of translations, include in your comment which listener's mail you enjoyed the most!
Kind reminders:
+ My translations should NOT be used elsewhere or reposted anywhere without my consent. If you want to use my translations for something, please PM me and tell me how you intend to use them. Please respect this rule: 30-minute radio shows do take time to translate.
+ If you want to post about these translations somewhere (your own blog, forums, etc.), a link back to my page would be kindly appreciated. [ex: "I read in a Recomen translation from amnosxmatsujun that Aiba-chan..."] *thank you!
+ If you enjoyed the translations, I'd love to hear from you! :) Comments are ♥♥
Highlights from this Recomen!:
# I really think that this batch of listeners' mail would have lived up to their full potential in the hands of two pervs... or just Chika-san, lol.
# And this is what happens with Chika-san isn't here: no personality quiz. :(
# He talks a bit about being on the set of My Girl (with the kids)!
# Guess what Aiba-chan is allergic to...?
# OHEMGEE. If I ever saw him do that at a concert... xD
This particular Recomen can be found HERE @ MF. *audio credits: ysy2021 Thank you!
A=Aiba-chan
S=Staff
A: Would you like to eat dinner first? Take a bath? Or… Arashi! Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening, I’m Aiba Masaki from Arashi. On August 28th, 29th, and 30th, we held live concerts at Kokuritsu.
S: Right.
A: For those who came to see us, thank you so much! It rained on the last day, so for those of you who were there despite the weather, we really do appreciate it. Thank you. So today, Chikazawa-san (*aka Chika-san)… is running late?
S: Actually, he’s not coming at all…
A: That’s a new approach! Chikazawa-san won’t be here?
S: [laugh] That’s what I heard.
A: I heard it through the grapevine that he’s not really fond of live shows, right?
S: I may remember hearing something like that.
A: Live shows… wait a second. If he’s not here because of work, does that mean he’s prioritizing one work over another?
S: [laugh]
A: Is that what this means? This is work, too.
S: [laugh] That’s true.
A: Right?
S: That’s true.
A: That Chikazawa-san… I plan to beat him to a pulp next week. I hope everyone will look forward to that. [laugh]
S: [laugh]
A: I’d like to read our first mail for the night. This is about the concert I was talking about earlier. This is from radio pen name Rina-chan from Tokyo: “I was privileged to go to the concert on the 28th. I am applying for colleges this year, but I’ve always supported you so I definitely wanted to attend the concert. So I told myself that if I study hard during the summer, I’ll go to the concert. Because of this, the lyrics to Arashi’s songs were more moving than ever before. I cried so much at the concert. I was deeply touched. I heard “5x10” for the first time at your show, and I can feel the appreciation you all put into the song. I love the ‘arigato’ part and it makes me so proud to be Arashi’s fan. I’m glad I have been your fan this whole time. I should be thanking you.” I see.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Thank you so much, really. See, everyone… has different situations. For Rina-chan, it was during entrance exams and she may have not been able to make it. But she worked so hard so she could be there. I’m thankful for that.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Right?
S: It’s an honor.
A: Indeed. Arashi’s… 5x10 Tour is still going on, so for those of you attending, please look forward to it. Let’s begin. Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening once again. This is Aiba Masaki from Arashi. This show is brought to you from Bunka housou in Hamamatsu city and broadcasted nationwide. Without delay, here’s the first number for the evening. We brought this up in conversation already, but please listen to it. This is from our All the BEST! album, Arashi’s “5x10”.
[♪ Arashi - “5x10”]
A: Here’s a newsflash for your ears: checkmate! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! “Memory Shredder!” During this segment, I’ll read some of your embarrassing stories or moments you’d like to forget, and place them through a paper shredder so you can rest at ease. We have tons of embarrassing stories again this week, so we’d like to share some of them with you. Let’s begin! First is from radio pen name Akane-chan: “When I was in 7th grade, it was the popular thing to pull down your classmates’ gym bottoms. One day, someone got me as I was getting in line. Usually, it’d end with, ‘Stop that!’, but that day, my underwear also came down with it. My friend was shocked, but so was I as I squatted down. This is so embarrassing that I still can’t forget about it.” I see. This happened a lot.
S: It did.
A: In elementary school… we’d pull down each other’s pants.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: And I did see some whose underwear came down with them.
S: Yeah. [laugh]
A: You gotta aim where the elastic band is loose. Please be careful. How old was she? In 7th grade?! … 7th grade, huh? That must have been embarrassing, then.
S: I’d say so, yes.
A: They’re not in their early elementary school years. They’re… in between being an adult and a child, right?
S: [laugh] Right. It depends on the person, but…
A: It depends, but some are already “on their way”, if you know what I mean.
S: True. [laugh]
A: This must be embarrassing.
S: [laugh]
A: They shouldn’t allow this starting in middle school. That’s no good. Okay, let’s move on. This is by radio pen name Sasurai no Sakurai-kun from Fukuoka city (*Wanderer Sakurai-kun): “When I was in 7th grade, I thought about confessing my love for an upperclassman. Because I was nervous, I was looking down so I ended up confessing my love for the teacher with whom he was speaking. The upperclassman thought that was gross and ran away. The teacher I mistakenly professed my love for is a balding, 58-year-old geezer and I hated him as a teacher. I was standing there in shock, but my teacher put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘Thank you for telling me how you feel. But I must say… you have great taste in men. I may look this way, but I’m quite popular with the ladies.’ He completely misunderstood me. This is the worst mistake ever.” That’s awful.
S: This is-
A: This really happens!
S: I guess so.
A: And the teacher… should have caught on.
S: Yeah.
A: That she was confessing to the other student. I can’t believe this happened.
S: But this teacher’s popular with the ladies.
A: But… he says, “I may look this way”!
S: [laugh]
A: I wonder what that means.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: She says he’s balding and that she hates him.
S: [laugh]
A: But school teachers… what do you think? Are they… are they popular? When a college student comes in to get hands-on experience, they’re always this hero figure for a week or so.
S: Ah, when they come to as student teachers.
A: Yeah, yeah.
S: They are heroes.
A: Right? I bet they’re popular when they’re young.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Generally speaking… ah. But I bet teaching is a difficult profession.
S: It must be.
A: It might be the most difficult!
S: Mm-hmm.
A: I’m around kids because of the new drama…
S: Yes, yes, yes.
A: It must be so hard to do that everyday, 30 kids at a time, as one class.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: That’s insane.
S: They’re so energetic.
A: Those kids!
S: Yeah.
A: The kind of difficulties you face in elementary school, middle school, and high school are different.
S: Yeah.
A: Some might be going through their rebellious stage.
S: True.
A: I wish luck to all the teachers out there.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Here’s the next one. This is by radio pen name Souda, Tokyo e ikou-san from Tokyo (*Yeah, let’s go to Tokyo): “When I was in 2nd grade, I asked my mom what ‘virginity’ meant (* “doutei” in Japanese; the kanji does not explicitly reveal the meaning). Back then, I was picturing something like a ‘zashiki-warashi’ (*fictional monster in Japanese folklore) Now, in middle school, I learned what ‘virginity’ meant and am really embarrassed. I don’t even want to picture the look on my mom’s face when I asked her. Ignorance is terrifying.” I see. That’s true.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Virginity… when you think “virginity”, you don’t automatically link it to perverted ideas, right?
S: That’s true, you wouldn’t think that.
A: Right? The way the word sounds isn’t that telling, either (*again, “doutei”). It sounds kind of similar to “dougan” (*baby-faced)… right?
S: True.
A: I wonder what her mom answered.
S: Yeah.
A: She even says that she was imagining something like a “zashiki-warashi”.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: Oh, I see. Like a monster.
S: Like a monster. [laugh]
A: Like a monster.
S: But…
A: Well, there could be a monster named “doutei”.
S: True.
A: Like Nurikabe. Or Sunakake-babaa “doutei”. (*both monsters in Japanese folklore)
S: Mm. What would you say if someone asked you?
A: Me? What would I answer? If someone asked me what virginity was?
S: Yeah.
A: What?! … This is really difficult!
S: It is.
A: What should I do? … I’d probably ask, “Do you really care to know?”
S: Ah.
A: I’ll try to skillfully evade the question.
S: Be ambiguous with your words.
A: Yeah… but I wonder. The way I’d answer would be totally different if she were my child, if I were a parent, versus a next-door neighbor.
S: Yeah, yeah, your standpoints would be different.
A: Right. But shouldn’t parents educate their children about these things?
S: “Virginity is…”?
A: “Let me tell you what ‘virginity’ means.”
S: [laugh]
A: I wonder. That’s difficult. But that’s why they have those classes at school.
S: Yeah.
A: Right… let’s just leave it to them. Let’s move on. This is by radio pen name Ayumi-chan from Tokyo: “The memory I do not want to remember is this. It’s common sense to read ‘0101’ as ‘Marui’, right? (*the “0” is read as “maru”, meaning circle, and the “1” is read as “i”, short for “ichi”) Until some time ago, I thought it was read, ‘oioi’ (*mistaking the “0” as an “o”, the “1” as an “i”). I asked my friend, ‘Hey, let’s go to oioi,” as I pointed toward the store sign, to which she politely corrected, ‘What? You read that as Marui’. I was so embarrassed then.” Hm… I read that as Marui. But I wonder why… if one person could read it, the name would spread.
S: That’s true.
A: But it’s difficult at first.
S: You wouldn’t read it as Marui.
A: You can’t, right?
S: No.
A: But I bet there are many others like that! Let’s keep going. This is our last one, from radio pen name Misaki-chan from Saitama: “I transferred to a new school the last trimester of 6th grade. At the graduation ceremony, in order to receive my diploma, I climbed up towards the stage when the other students and their parents started to stir. I thought, ‘What’s wrong? Is it because I’m a transfer student?’ Then, a teacher came up to the stage and grabbed my skirt. Surprised, I angrily asked, ‘What is it?!’, to which she calmly replied, ‘Your underwear was showing.’ I was flashing my backside perfectly for all to see. After the ceremony, a guy who had befriended me said, ‘That sky blue underwear you’ve got on isn’t all that bad.’” This is embarrassing.
S: Yes, it is.
A: How is it that only the back was showing?
S: Right, just the back.
A: Yeah. Only the back of her underwear was showing, right?
S: That’s correct.
A: Everyone, please do be careful. I’ll go ahead and shred your memories! [paper shredding noises] Please send in your embarrassing stories you’d like to forget. The e-mail address is Arashi@joqr.net! That concludes Memory Shredder!
A: After the kids have gone to bed, tune in quietly! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Oshiete Aiba-chan! (*Tell me, Aiba-chan!) Here, I’ll answer questions that you’ve sent in! Ready~? First one is from radio pen name Chokkin-san from Saitama: “At my house, there is a huge piggy bank to which we’ve all contributed, hoping to break it open one day. Until about five years ago, all my family members were participating, but lately, no one has added to it. I was curious so I tried carrying it, and I was amazed at how heavy it was. I thought my family would notice if the piggy bank went missing, so I hid it in the closet but no one noticed. I even brought it up in conversation on purpose, but none of them have taken the hint. I feel like I should just open it, but what do you think I ought to do? What would you do, Aiba-chan?” I see! I wonder how big it is. Does she mean a really large piggy bank?
S: Hm…
A: But isn’t that nice, to save up money as a family?
S: It is.
A: Right? They could use that money to help pay for a family vacation. Though, it depends on how stuffed that piggy bank is. I don’t know how big it is, but if it’s half full, she should open it and have yakiniku together or use it to help pay for a family vacation. Right, but I think you should tell your family… and use the money together.
S: I agree.
A: Yeah. Let’s have her do that. Next one is from radio pen name Keiko-san from Ishikawa: “The other day, I ate a mango and the next day, my body was covered in hives. I rushed to the doctor to have it checked, only to be told that I’m allergic to mangoes. I didn’t think such allergy existed so I’m quite surprised. Do you have any allergies?” Wow… I’ve never heard of mango allergies, but I’m sure there are allergies for everything.
S: Mm-hmm.
A: As for me… oysters. You know those oysters? Not persimmons, but oysters. (*in Japanese the word for oyster and persimmons is the same, though with different inflections)
S: Oysters, yes.
A: When I have it raw, I break out into hives.
S: Ah…
A: It depends on how well I’m doing, but in most cases, I get hives.
S: Oh.
A: But I like them, so if I have the day off the next day, I eat them anyway.
S: Oh, you eat them anyway? [laugh] You do?
A: I do. I like the taste.
S: Right, right, right.
A: That sort of… milky taste?
S: Mm-hmm.
A: I like that, so I eat them. It’s important to have these checked and really know your body!
S: Absolutely.
A: Okay, moving on. This is by radio pen name Sayaka-san: “Aiba-chan, KonAiba!” KonAiba! (* “konbanwa”, or good evening, + Aiba) “What do you do when you pull a leg muscle? It’s common to pull towards your shin while grabbing your big toe.” Oh, that’s true. When I pull a leg muscle during a concert, I pull back on it like that. Or I just let it be. It really hurts. “I heard of a great way to alleviate the pain, so I’ll inform you of it now. The procedure is to massage the breast opposite of your cramped leg.
S: [laugh]
A: “I heard this from an aesthetician, and though I was skeptical about it, she tells me it really works. This method only works for women, as her breasts are her vital spots. By massaging her breasts, the circulation in her body rebalances.”
S: Hm…
A: “So what are men supposed to do instead? They have their own vital spots. The procedure is to massage the testicle opposite of your cramping leg.”
S: [laugh]
A: Is this really true?!
S: [laugh]
A: “I’d like to test this theory, but I don’t usually pull muscle in my legs. What do you do when you pull a leg muscle? Please try this method.” You know… this might be fine if I’m in bed at night. But let’s say I pull my right leg at a concert and I start massaging my left testicle. That’s not okay.
S: [laugh]
A: I think I’d get yelled at, seriously. They’d make me pay for something like that.
S: True.
A: For me to do something like that.
S: You can’t do this in public.
A: Is this true?! Alright, this one’s from radio pen name Haru-chan form Hyogo: “I recently told my friend from the Kanto area that I put black sugar molasses on my tokoroten, but she told me that one should eat it with sanbai-su. (* “tokoroten” is a dish of gelatin-like noodles made from seafood broth; sanbai-su is a mixture of soy sauce, vinegar, and rice wine) You were born in Chiba; do you eat tokoroten with sanbai-su? Let me know.” I’ll tell you.
S: Okay.
A: I haven’t had tokoroten much.
S: Uh-oh… you haven’t?
A: I haven’t! This is no good asking me. But there are two versions, one with black sugar molasses and another with sanbai-su? Right?
S: That’s correct.
A: We ended on such an ambiguous note.
S: [laugh]
A: Apologies. That was Tell me, Aiba-chan. Please take a listen now. This is from our All the BEST! album, Arashi’s “Crazy Moon”.
[♪ Arashi - “Crazy Moon ~Kimi wa Muteki~”]
A: Send your postcards to Bunka Housou Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix!. Zip code 105-8002. E-mail address: Arashi@joqr.net. Please put the name of the segment in the subject. You can also send us a message through the Bunka Housou website. So time’s almost up. Starting October, I’ll be in a drama on TV Asahi, called My Girl. It’s on Friday nights, so I hope you all tune in. Our best album is now on sale. All singles between 1999-2009 are in this album. And, as we mentioned before, we have our 10th anniversary tour, 5x10, in the major stadiums. On September 18th, we’ll perform first at Fukuoka Yahoo! Japan. Then, January 16th and 17th of next year, we finish the stadium tour at Nagoya Stadium. I’m looking forward to meeting everyone, so for those of you attending, please look forward to it. This was Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix. Your radio partner was Aiba Masaki from Arashi. See you next week. Bye-bye!