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Comments 38

al_hazel June 11 2009, 20:35:31 UTC
This is absolutely brilliant.

They never meet, simply talk over the phone, and the connection is so undeniable between then. You capture their voices perfectly. Even though we don't get to see Archie till the end, he still has such a presence in the story. It's such a testament to your writing skills that you can pull it off, and you definitely pulled it off.

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epicflailer June 26 2009, 05:20:27 UTC
oh my gosh, thank you. i was worried that not making their relationship the focal point would throw some people off, so the fact you still felt archie's presence really pleased me. tysm for all the comments, bb!

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penrith1 June 11 2009, 21:02:29 UTC
I loved this. The telephone conversations were really well done. Plus I was captivated by David's iner voice. Well done

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epicflailer June 26 2009, 05:21:27 UTC
thank you! this was the first part of the story i wrote, and i struggled through it, so i'm glad it all worked out! :D thank you, again, for letting me know!

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asweetdownfall June 11 2009, 21:40:19 UTC
...So I totally didn't realize that each chapter depicted a different scenario. WHY DO I FAIL AT LIFE SO HARD. *facepalm*

That said..ohhhh man I adore this part too! Trina's such a joy, and Archie's her teacher! *is dead* And I love how you can tell they have a connection, even when they don't meet for a long time. But it's there.

<3

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epicflailer June 26 2009, 05:22:17 UTC
LMFAO, BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST ADORABLE, EVER. and also because i'm stupid and should have maybe made the first and second parts a little more distinctive.

BUT HI, YOU LIKED IT ANYWAY, YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~

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asweetdownfall July 10 2009, 02:40:18 UTC
PFFT YOU ARE NOT STUPID. I AM THE STUPID ONE. AND ANYWAY THE FIRST AND SECOND PARTS ARE ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT AND PERFECT AND STAND ALONE WONDERFULLY.

♥♥! OF COURSE I LOVED IT - YOU KNOW I ADORE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOUR AMAZING BRAIN COMES UP WITH.

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musicboxgirl June 12 2009, 03:19:38 UTC
I'm DEAD, dude. You has KILLED me with GREAT, SWEET BOYS! And KID! And GAH! I am being very inarticulate and I'M SORRY because there's so much more I could say if I could THINK clearly but I CAN'T because this, THIS is just floating about in my brain, turning it to MUSH.

*mush*

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epicflailer June 26 2009, 05:23:14 UTC
MUSH IS THE BEST REACTION I COULD HOPE FOR. ALKFSogjd AND I WOULD HAVE MORE TO SAY, TOO, ONLY I AM STILL REELING FROM THE FACT THAT THIS IS A MUTUAL FANDOM NOW. \o/ FOREVER.

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epicflailer June 26 2009, 05:25:05 UTC
eeee! i am so glad trina worked for you! i thought she might be a bit much for some, so yay! like i said before, your fb is honestly so delightful to receive, and i'm smiling so wide right now because i'm just so glad all those elements worked for you. :)

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