Patrick Sharp and Adam Burish: A Ship Manifesto
If you want an informative primer on hockey, go elsewhere. This is a tale of tragic love.
Meet Adam Burish. This picture tells his life story.
This is Patrick Sharp, the fairest of them all.
Their story starts in 2006, when Sharpie was traded to the Chicago Blackhawks from the Philadelphia Flyers.
The two soon became inseparable.
They even roomed together on the road.
They spend the entire video arguing about which one is "in charge." Burish says (I can't make this shit up) "Glad you guys got to see me dominate Sharpie." Totally normal turn of phrase.
The two of them developed quite the reputation as pranksters, which cemented their status as a matched set.
In 2009, according to one blog whose source link no longer works (so take it with a grain of salt), Sharpie called Bur his "other girlfriend."
When Burish was out with an injury, they Skyped, along with a few of the other guys.
In this article from March 2010, following Burish's return, Sharpie said of Burish: “He’s a great teammate and a great friend. I’m happy he’s back. He puts a smile on my face. Don’t tell him I said this but I’m a better player when he’s around.”
Now, I throw images in your general direction in hopes that you recognize the tragic love between these two individuals.
Here we have a friendly fist bump.
Followed by a totally heterosexual on-ice celebration.
Which is a normal thing for them.
Here, Sharpie clearly displays no interest in watching Burish do what he does best, which is stir things up.
Completely heterosexual.
Somehow, these two always wind up next to each other.
And then they start to mirror each other's body language.
Sharpie is reluctantly impressed by Bur's playoff beard.
Their bromance reached an all-time high when the Blackhawks won the 2010 Stanley Cup.
The entire team then proceeded to drunkenly rain down mayhem on the streets of Chicago.
They apparently had a boyfriend swap with Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook or something, I don't know. Anyway, they reunited for a drunken tour of every bar in Chicago.
Happiness was not to be theirs, however. Soon after, Bur was traded to the Dallas Stars.
The most heartbreaking photo of all time, plus the fact that Sharpie has a wife and child, ups the angst-level on this ship to eleven.
When asked about how it was rooming without Burish, Sharpie said "It’s nice. I can finally get some sleep. My ears don’t hurt in the morning from all the talking. Burish was a pretty good roommate. I have to give him credit. "
See, you say it's nice, but somehow, I don't believe you.
In December 2010, the 'Hawks faced the Stars.
"Burish and Chicago’s leading scorer Patrick Sharp are good friends, and both had great lines. 'I could hear him coming in from the airport,' Sharp told the media of Burish’s tendency to talk too much. Burish answered that of the players he wants to hit, Sharp has the biggest target. 'Sharpie, I can’t wait to get against him,' Burish said." [x]
Oh, thank you, Bur, for phrasing that sentence in that way.
Apparently, now that they're apart, they've turned their pranks against each other, according to this article from 2011.
“'They got into the hotel before we checked in, and my key was out there, so he went and took my key and tornadoed my room before I even got there,' Burish said. 'I couldn’t figure it out at first. I was like, ‘What the heck happened? How’d somebody get into my room?’ I was the first one off the bus because I was going to mess with someone else’s room. . . . Somehow our paths are going to cross, and I’m going to mess his stuff up pretty good.'
When confronted with Burish’s accusation, Sharp let a grin creep over his face."
The majority of Blackhawks fans say that they miss the Sharp/Burish bromance, which is made interesting by the fact that Adam Burish is apparently dealing with a different definition of bromance than most of the general public.
Lastly, Adam Burish has recently signed with the San Jose Sharks, thus putting more distance between these two idiots. Everyone, hold hands and cry.
Meet Adam Burish. This picture tells his life story.
This is Patrick Sharp, the fairest of them all.
Their story starts in 2006, when Sharpie was traded to the Chicago Blackhawks from the Philadelphia Flyers.
The two soon became inseparable.
They even roomed together on the road.
Click to viewThey spend the entire video arguing about which one is "in charge." Burish says (I can't make this shit up) "Glad you guys got to see me dominate Sharpie." Totally normal turn of phrase.
The two of them developed quite the reputation as pranksters, which cemented their status as a matched set.
In 2009, according to one blog whose source link no longer works (so take it with a grain of salt), Sharpie called Bur his "other girlfriend."
When Burish was out with an injury, they Skyped, along with a few of the other guys.
In this article from March 2010, following Burish's return, Sharpie said of Burish: “He’s a great teammate and a great friend. I’m happy he’s back. He puts a smile on my face. Don’t tell him I said this but I’m a better player when he’s around.”
Now, I throw images in your general direction in hopes that you recognize the tragic love between these two individuals.
Here we have a friendly fist bump.
Followed by a totally heterosexual on-ice celebration.
Which is a normal thing for them.
Here, Sharpie clearly displays no interest in watching Burish do what he does best, which is stir things up.
Completely heterosexual.
Somehow, these two always wind up next to each other.
And then they start to mirror each other's body language.
Sharpie is reluctantly impressed by Bur's playoff beard.
Their bromance reached an all-time high when the Blackhawks won the 2010 Stanley Cup.
The entire team then proceeded to drunkenly rain down mayhem on the streets of Chicago.
They apparently had a boyfriend swap with Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook or something, I don't know. Anyway, they reunited for a drunken tour of every bar in Chicago.
Happiness was not to be theirs, however. Soon after, Bur was traded to the Dallas Stars.
The most heartbreaking photo of all time, plus the fact that Sharpie has a wife and child, ups the angst-level on this ship to eleven.
When asked about how it was rooming without Burish, Sharpie said "It’s nice. I can finally get some sleep. My ears don’t hurt in the morning from all the talking. Burish was a pretty good roommate. I have to give him credit. "
See, you say it's nice, but somehow, I don't believe you.
In December 2010, the 'Hawks faced the Stars.
"Burish and Chicago’s leading scorer Patrick Sharp are good friends, and both had great lines. 'I could hear him coming in from the airport,' Sharp told the media of Burish’s tendency to talk too much. Burish answered that of the players he wants to hit, Sharp has the biggest target. 'Sharpie, I can’t wait to get against him,' Burish said." [x]
Oh, thank you, Bur, for phrasing that sentence in that way.
Apparently, now that they're apart, they've turned their pranks against each other, according to this article from 2011.
“'They got into the hotel before we checked in, and my key was out there, so he went and took my key and tornadoed my room before I even got there,' Burish said. 'I couldn’t figure it out at first. I was like, ‘What the heck happened? How’d somebody get into my room?’ I was the first one off the bus because I was going to mess with someone else’s room. . . . Somehow our paths are going to cross, and I’m going to mess his stuff up pretty good.'
When confronted with Burish’s accusation, Sharp let a grin creep over his face."
The majority of Blackhawks fans say that they miss the Sharp/Burish bromance, which is made interesting by the fact that Adam Burish is apparently dealing with a different definition of bromance than most of the general public.
Lastly, Adam Burish has recently signed with the San Jose Sharks, thus putting more distance between these two idiots. Everyone, hold hands and cry.