This might piss some people off. Good. I hope it does.

[amberskyfire]

Can you tell I'm feeling angsty today?

Never Violence
By Astrid Lindgren
Reprinted from Father Times, Spring 1995, Volume 3, Issue 4. Astrid Lindgren is author of Pippi Longstocking.

Above all, I believe that there should never be any violence. In 1978 I received a peace prize in West Germany for my books, and I gave an accepting speech that I

Comments

[sbeth76]

I'm a dyed-in-the-wool behaviorist and I really liked this. I do not always think that punishment is bad. Sometimes I believe it is an ethical choice, but I really, really don't like physical violence against children. Punishment, as per a behaviorist definition, is a stimulus change, contingent on behavior, that results in that behavior's decrease over time.

[amberskyfire]

I don't like using any kind of punishment, but I have found something that works amazingly well. I used it with my stepdaughter and I use it with Aryquin. I don't know if it has a name or not, but I call it "social discipline." Basically, it's disciplining your child the way you would another adult. You can't hit a friend or a husband, so how would you correct behavior you didn't like

[amberskyfire]

After going back and reading that again, I think you and I have the same idea, but you meant to say "discipline?" Yes discipline is good and what we all need. But you are right, there is NO reason it should involve violence

[jennifer19]

you are both saying the same thing using different terms. in behavioral psych, punishment is the introduction of a negative stimulus. ignoring is a negative stimulus. thats all.

[inniu]

this is so awesome because now i have a concise concrete (easy to read!) article to print out for my husband, who is still of the old school mind (read: not thinking for himself!) that you have to teach your kids to fear you. i swear he just spouts this crap from some deeply unconscious place because he doesn't act this way toward logan ever. but better to seal the deal with an article like this than to have that argument down the line after the damage has been done.

aren't we so lucky to live in a time when people are making a true effort to parent consciously? so so awesome...

[amberskyfire]

I agree! You know, I feel that it has a lot to do with women's rights. We are coming out of a time when women were just property. They had no right to choose their husband and were owned like a piece of cattle. I can see how they might not feel genuine love or respect for their children a lot of the time. Most of them didn't even have the choice of whether or not they wanted children or when or by whom. Fathers were actually encouraged not to show much love for their children.

When you begin to give people respect and control over their own lives, they begin to show those feelings toward others. It's awesome :)

[girlx512]

Yes.

Really, I don't have much more to say :)

[aquaenigma]

I agree 100 percent. I have Hilary Flowers book Adventures in Gentle Discipline, Jake and I both agree that spanking is NOT an ok way to discipline a child, for which I am grateful, seeing as how his family spanks and his father was abusive.

[amberskyfire]

My husband unfortunately does think that it is okay, but in our relationship, he has a lot of respect for what I believe, so we meet halfway and have agreed that he will not hit my step daughter or our daughter so long as I agree to be the disciplinarian. It's worked these last 10 years!

My father was abusive and I am just so glad that I was strong and felt enough anger toward him growing up that I used it to remove abuse from my life. I've always been stubborn. I never backed down and kept that anger and it kept me from choosing abusive relationships and made me want to be a gentle mother to my own children. This cycle end NOW. With me :)

[gracepersists]

I'm the same way. My father was abusive towards me when I was growing up, and though it caused me to make some stupid decisions in relationships when I was younger, I know I'll never EVER hit my children.

[jennifer19]

love this!