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[amber_starcat]

I'm not sure how to write this or if at all; not that in life. nothing really matters anyway or at all. Someone from my past found me on FaceBook. Someone that was once very special to me. Someone that was ripped from me because he wasn't the 'right' person I should be dating and 'didn't serve to my well being'. Serious parental control. I

Comments

[benadem]

That's sad that he has disappeared as suddenly as he appeared. I suspect it has to do with his family.

If it's any consolation, I contacted my very first true love through the internet a few years ago. We exchanged emails and eventually met - there was nothing there! As a 16 year old boy I had been madly in love with her, but on seeing her again, I found that all such feelings had gone. We are still good friends and I meet her and her husband every time I go to England, which is nice, but the romance part was totally a thing of the past. Perhaps he will return, perhaps not, but I suspect you may well have been saved further pain from expecting too much. Now you can move on, as we must continue to do, painful as it so often is. I hope your luck changes very soon.

[amber_starcat]

Grrr...just wrote you a long response but LJ ate it. This is a test, only a test.

[amber_starcat]

Ok...trying this again.

The thing is ....I wasn't expecting ANYTHING!! All I said I was overwhelmed. I didn't say I couldn't deal with the emotions associated with it. And I"m sure if you set me down in a room with him right now that my 15 year old girl feelings have changed. I'm sure of that. 25 years have past and we're two different people now. I just don't get the abrupt arrival and the even more abrupt departure with nothing more than a goodbye.

I'm TIRED of losing friends. I used to have a huge circle surrounding me. The years have changed and I find myself standing alone with no one here or at the very least a sporadic friend or two when the moon is blue.

[laurachicken]

My thought was that maybe his wife found his facebook and saw that he was corresponding with a woman, asked for an explanation, and asked him to cut contact. If the conversation went as you say it did (and I don't doubt you are telling the truth), many wives might not like their husbands talking to their high school girlfriends again, rekindling past romances (even if they weren't).

Maybe it was his current relationship or his talking with you. All I'm saying is, maybe it had nothing to do with you. Or maybe it was bringing up too many feelings... I don't know.

I am sorry you are hurt again. I lost my first love, too. It still hurts and I know what you mean about being in that 15-year-old-self-space all over again. When I think abotu him I am my 15 year old self all over again. It's wonderful and awful. Sending love.

[amber_starcat]

Well, he has quite a few friends that are women on FB. And none of the conversations in chat are logged. I see your point though. Really. We talked about the past and what happened and would could have happened but not the present. It was never in the present. When I was cut off from him back then, that was it. One last note from me to him got thru a friend, and same friend snuck me one last note from him and that was it. My parents were gonna have none of it. But past is past and when you bring the past like that back up into the present, you get hit head-on with a lot of memories. It wasn't like the relationship had a chance to bloom, it didn't. It's brought up a lot of stuff in my head. Stuff that I hadn't thought of in a long time, a lot of it was how it pervaded into other relationships and how I thought about things and people. It really brought back how controlling my parents were over me. It wasn't just him. It was the consequences surrounding the events