Neep!

[amaya_natsuya]

Well, I had a chance to finish chapter nine!  Yay for me, right?  And since I don't want to get lynched, I'll post it now (I finished it about thirty minutes ago) and I really should stop talking.  *Tosses out Gundam Pilot Biscuits*  Don't eat the author!

Title:  Flight of the Bumblebee Part Nine
Rating:  T/PG-13
Fandom:  Harry Potter Gundam Wing

Comments

[jess_eklom]

The thing that stood out the most was the way Quatre and Trowa talked to Harry as if he already knew what they were. Quatre mentioned the words "other pilots" to Harry, implying that Harry already knows Tro and Quat are pilots... also in the car on the way home, Quatre and Trowa act as if Harry knew Trowa was the Heavyarms pilot when Quatre asked "When did you save me?"

It's kind of hard to explain, but that particular piece of dialog was odd.

[amaya_natsuya]

I think I found what you were talking about, and edited accordingly. I hope. Hee hee. Thanks for pointing it out. It made more sense in my head than on paper! Lol.

[yanagi_wa]

I think you got Harry right. At that age children have moments of frightening maturity followed by moments of frightening infantilism. Great chapter.

[kjady]

Wow! Six more chapters than there were on ff.net. I think you're doing a really great job writing this. I think the characters are in character from what I can see. Again, great job.

[articwolf8556]

This is a great story, I've never seen one like it. I'm excited to read what happens next, expecially when Harry meets the rest of the group. I think you are creating Harry's character just right. Are you going to elaborate on why Harry was scared of doing 'favor' and what happens at the docotrs? I'm looking foward to the next chapter.

[hekelachan]

I have just discovered you on ffn, and came here to see what you have. (i was looking for OMC slash. Yay long OMC slash. I hope you continue it.

I really like this fic, it's adorable! But I find the dates (When Trowa arrives, when shopping, paperwork is done, when they move, ect) very confusing. It's hard to find a connection to the time frame. Not that it really matters in the story, and it doesn't take away from the cuteness of it, but it is difficult to keep track of.