Comments | amand_r: Recipe and food porn: The Croissandwich

amand_r

Recipe and food porn: The Croissandwich

Sep 09, 2009 14:13

I was just thinking about how I don't cook anymore, because the one person who would have eaten it isn't here anymore, and I don't eat my own cooking (I have no appetite for it. It's not that it sucks or anything), and I don't eat leftovers. So I have been doing a lot of prepackaged foods and tuna salad and veg (mostly the veg and the egg salad ( Read more... )

damn the man, the ??--let me show you it, recipes, the awesome--let me show you it, viola, porn, i am awesome, lulz, it's on now, tastes like burning, cooking, photos, your mom, inappropriate laughter

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goddesstar September 9 2009, 19:20:08 UTC

Why was I laughing like a maniac when I read this?! You are too funny!

~Goddesstar

amand_r September 9 2009, 19:21:26 UTC

HAHAAAHAHAHAAHA LOOK AT MAH SKILLZ!

My only regret was that I took close ups of our sandwiches artfully arranged on the papers and everything, but they somehow got bahleeted.

ophymirage September 9 2009, 19:24:09 UTC

LOLZ that was totally hilarious. Also, what the hell are a 'shmuffin' and a 'shmagel'? I must question their existence, on a 'do I dare/disturb the universe?' level...

Also, there should be a Food Network show for this. With Alton Brown as your co-host.

amand_r September 9 2009, 19:36:06 UTC

Actually, Sheetz, the store this takes place in, like to make cute little names for all their shit: Sheetz+muffin=schmuffin. Schmuffin is pretty much a croissantzzzzz on an english muffin, and a schmagel is on a bagel, and a schmiscuit would be it on a biscuit. They're not as bad as they sound, but I am a sucker for croissants.

Alton will be all logical and provide facts about the places we viti and stuff, and I'll just be like, "USE THE TOUCH SCREEN. NO EXTRA KETCHUP, ALTON."

Our show will be called, "I WANT THAT" and the logo will be a finger pointing to a touch screen.

Hmmmm. ophymirage September 9 2009, 20:09:03 UTC

I have rethought this. A Food Show on the science of creating fast food would probably keep me from eating at any fast food restaurant ever again. And I'd hate to give up In-n-Out Burgers.

On the other hand, I could watch Alton in anything. ALTON IS THE IANTO JONES OF COOKING SHOWS.

Your post-it art would work with his format, too. You could be like post-it-scribbling-onscreen geniuses.

Re: Hmmmm. amand_r September 9 2009, 20:11:18 UTC

I do have the habit of carrying a pack of them with me wherever I go...

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tencrush September 9 2009, 19:27:23 UTC

This has made me smile more than anything I've read all week. Your daughter's adorable and your skills are mind blowing.

amand_r September 9 2009, 19:31:50 UTC

OMG MY FINGER WAS TIRED AFTER ALL THAT POINTING. AND HANDING OVER MY CARD TO THE CASHIER??! EXHAUSTING!

tencrush September 9 2009, 19:37:18 UTC

I love how your kid dressed for dinner by putting her hair up. Sophisticated, man.

amand_r September 9 2009, 19:38:04 UTC

I did that so she wouldn't eat her hair!! Hair is not a garnish!

noveldevice September 9 2009, 19:28:31 UTC

I am interested in your ideas and wish to subscribe to your tasty, tasty newsletter. :)

amand_r September 9 2009, 19:31:23 UTC

SHEETZ FTW!

51stcenturyfox September 9 2009, 19:40:57 UTC

Your sous chef might also take this time to finish the side dishes that you are preparing to go with it (Waldorf salad, Peacock brains garnished with honey covered ants, thinly sliced Bagelfuls, etc)

PEACOCK BRAINS YES.

BAGELFULS NO. NO NO NO.

This was hilarious!

Croissantz? Schmuffin? WTF???

HOW DID YOU KNOW I HAD LILIES PRESENT WITH MY BAGEL FULS? ARE YOU WATCHING ME.

( ... )

amand_r September 9 2009, 19:42:37 UTC

OMG IT'S LIKE OUR BRAINS WERE JOINED.

I NEED THOSE LIKE BURNING.

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