GLITTER Aug 2014 (Part 1)
[There are two halves to this interview, the first is a long essay-like section and the second is a Q&A format interview. This is the first half.]
If the balance between domination and submission breaks down, then relationships between men and women will fail.
In recent times, there has been a sharp decrease in the number of women suffering at a man's beck and call. Despite that, compared to long ago there are many more people worried because their love lives aren't going well, and it is sad that the number of women running to have affairs and cheat is increasing. In the end, isn't this a result of the relationship of "domination and submission" between men and women failing?
In particular, when I look at boys, I often feel they are all bad at "discipline". If I may speak without fear of being misunderstood, I like the S&M way of thinking of it as "discipline". For example, "S" primarily refers to being a relationship leader who can quickly restrain and then release their partner psychologically. Those who can feel the joy of an S's control are called "M", and that division of roles rotates between them depending on the time and situation. As a result, within the heart of every woman is simultaneously an M part which wants to be controlled well by the man she loves, and an S part which wants to support that man by controlling him.
But in the current society where men have become weak, women are being made to circulate those feelings, and there are hardly any men who are true relationship leaders. But if those weak men who do nothing but suck up to women started trying to discipline them at this point, it would be useless, right? In this way, if the balance of "domination and submission" breaks down, then men and women become completely unable to perform their respective roles. I think that many of the problems that men and women face now are caused by this.
Depending on how a woman acts, a man can become an excellent relationship leader.
In love and sex, whether a man can become an excellent relationship leader or not actually depends on how the woman acts. It's a sad thing, but in this current time when there are so many men bad at discipline, the woman's guidance is particularly important. For example, say a man lines up five things he likes and says to his girlfriend, "These are good, aren't they?" Even if the woman dislikes two of those things, she mustn't say "I don't like those". Men are children, so when they are contradicted, they get stubborn.
In that case, if you praise all five, "Amazing!" and go on to say, "I like this," while looking only at the 3 cool ones, even an idiot of a man will notice. "She praised all of them in order to not hurt my feelings." (laughs) Sex is the same. Rather than say, "It doesn't feel good," if you say, "That's okay, but this feels better," then the man can work hard without being crushed. In other words, this is how you "guide" men without contradicting them.
Women who are good at guiding men are creatures who carry men's sincerity and gratitude.
If I say it in other words, to "guide" is to "build up a man". The more mature a man becomes, the more he is able to be grateful for being held up by a woman, and he is a creature that wants to give something in return. First the man pulls, and then the woman guides him in a better direction. A woman who can set up that kind of rotation is one who will make a good, strong man feel, "It has to be her". To make a comparison, it's like the relationship between the sun and the moon.
Of course, since there are lots of women in the workforce now, there are a lot of couples where the opposite pattern works well. The point isn't who out of the man and the woman should take which role, it's that good relationships between men and women are built on the "dominance and submission" division of roles. I personally am incredibly grateful for the existence of women, and I respect them. Son Goku could go anywhere on his flying cloud, but the entire world was in the palm of Buddha's hand, right? [This is a reference to the classical Chinese tale "Journey to the West"] I feel that the wonderfulness of women is naturally something like that, and it's because a man has a woman who is good at that kind of guidance by his side that he can be a leader on the outside.
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Translation Notes:
支配 shihai- "domination", control, rule
服従 fukujuu- "submission", obedience
調教 choukyou- training or breaking in, usually of an animal (translated here as "discipline")
コントロールリーダー the English words "control leader" transliterated into Japanese (translated here as "relationship leader")
立てる tateru- to erect, to cause to stand (translated here as "build up")