Comments | alycewilson: LJI 11 Week 24: The Pursuit of Happiness

alycewilson

LJI 11 Week 24: The Pursuit of Happiness

Jun 15, 2020 09:55

This is my entry for Week 24 of LJ Idol (therealljidol). This week was an intersection, where we chose one of two topics and worked with a partner. I chose "I'm the Ussain Bolt of running from my problems." Please read my partner, karmasoup's entry, found here: https://karmasoup.livejournal.com/51435.htmlRead more... )

relationships, lj idol, lji, memories

Comments 34

kittenboo June 16 2020, 02:17:49 UTC

This is so well told, I love how it pulls back around to Caleb in the end.

alycewilson June 16 2020, 09:30:32 UTC

Thank you! When karmasoup and I were hashing out ideas, she told me about her story and immediately I made the connection with Caleb. It's sad that his life ended this way, but I'm glad he found some happiness before it did.

m_malcontent June 16 2020, 02:42:02 UTC

Don't be so hard on yourself, a "yes" answer might have given him enough courage to ask again with others.

You "weren't that into him" but you were kind, and he didn't have to go to prom "stag"....I did have a date to the prom, but I batched it to a couple Band Banquets it isn't fun.

I bet it was a good memory for him.

alycewilson June 16 2020, 09:42:08 UTC

That's a great way to look at it! I hadn't thought about it before. Aside from being lukewarm, I wasn't rude to him at the prom, so maybe he did have a fun experience, even though it wasn't the romantic one he wanted.

tonithegreat June 16 2020, 04:49:14 UTC

I love these dives into your past that you’re doing lately in your entries. You’re an interesting journal-er and it’s easy for me to feel empathy with all that you explain. I went to my own senior prom with my two best friends, both of whom I’ve completely lost touch with now even though we had some awesome adventures together. I miss them and our shenanigans.

alycewilson June 16 2020, 22:02:44 UTC

Thank you. I think all of this enforced quiet time has made me particularly reflective. It's great that you got to go to your senior prom with friends. I didn't have that sort of really close group of peers until I got to college.

karmasoup June 16 2020, 05:17:53 UTC

That dress looks like something right out of a John Waters movie! :-) ( Incidentally, I never got to go to my prom... our folks were too religious, and the whole "dancing" thing was taboo. :-/ )

I never would have imagined we might have such a unique and interesting crossover... it's amazing what can be uncovered when we start turning over the rocks of our past. Thank you so much for sharing this tale, in this very special way that deep dives into your vulnerability and regret. Though, not to talk you off the angst ledge (as I'm sure life has long since stepped you back from it), but I do agree with m_malcontent, that even if that might maybe didn't play out quite the way he'd have hoped, that it may not have been as dreadful as you might imagine. The part about losing him so soon after he found happiness, though, is a hard hitting punch to the heartstrings, though... I can see how anyone with a sense of compassion for humanity would feel that ( ... )

alycewilson June 16 2020, 18:39:42 UTC

Love John Waters! I spent a lot of time in Baltimore because of Otakon for many years and kept hoping I'd run into him somewhere.

I also would never have guessed we'd have stories that had such similar beats until you told me yours and this immediately popped into my head.

I think you're absolutely right about nerd girls and the instinct to kiss frogs. It was born partially from a gratitude out of being wanted and being asked, and partially because I honestly thought he was a nice guy and didn't want to hurt him. But I didn't think about the fact that saying yes would mean so much more to him than it did to me. Which, as I've said, was a mistake I made over and over until I finally learned! Such is life, I suppose.

viagra June 16 2020, 12:23:08 UTC

You and your partner have very similar strengths; it was great reading your two pieces together. While karmasoup has a great eye for people and characters, you have such a great eye for the world around you and the situations you are in. I always feel, when I'm reading your reflections, that I'm not even "right there with you," but "right there in you" - you capture your feelings so well that I can almost feel myself living it.

Really, really good stuff! :)

alycewilson June 16 2020, 22:01:41 UTC

Thank you so much! I tried to relive it, to focus on the moments that are really clear to me in memory, because those are usually the ones that carry the most emotion. But I'm very glad I worked with karmasoup this week. She inspired me to go to a place with this topic that I don't think I would have come up with on my own.