He is a Man
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so m so sick of peoples bullshit. i hate hypocrasy. its such crap. such bullshit. im in a fuckin christian college n we cant even pretend to show Gods love. we cant eve fake it here. how the hell are we gonna manage in the real world. were gonna go out n kill the world were supposed to save. we have to save the world n instead were gonna kill them ( Read more... )

so today has been really weird. like i know i have nothin to worry bout with ryan n whatnot, but it doesnt seem to matter. every time a girl touches him or talks to him or anythin...i get unbelievably jealous n upset. it has really been buggin me today. like, with misa...theres not a chance i know that...n josslyn...absolutely nothin goin there... ( Read more... )

You Are Changing Leaves
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so ive decided that im gettin married. tis amazing. i love ryan. were gettin married December 1, 2006. next year. incredible. ill write more later

i always go too far. i never know when to stop. n it always ends up hurtin people. people that i care about. people that i love. i hate hurtin people that i love. why do i always do that? i dont get it. if i love them shouldnt i be more protective of them n what i say round or bout them? what is wrong with me? i love ryan. why is it that i usually ( Read more... )

m not feelin too well right now. ryan n i worked through my issues n have has some wonderful talks. were quite different in some ways, which was surprising to us. just that we are so similar in almost everything we are. whatever...not important how similar or different we are. we both love each other so much. i know how i feel because i feel it, i ( Read more... )

so things are good with my friends now. for the most part. still have issues of my own. josh has my keys. i got locked out of my room today. had to go over to joshs n ask him for my keys. got some weird looks from the guys in his room. felt slightly bad. over it. so now m pettin my boyfriend n hes callin his work. fun stuff. n i want popcorn so he ( Read more... )

i fuckin hate shit. like people hurtin themself n what not. tis crap. i spent all weekend stayin away from my kitchen so i wouldnt hurt ryan by comin back torn up...but yeha. that seems slightly pointless to me now. not not hurtin ryan...but stayin away from knives. i almost took one of collins but i didnt. almost took one from the kitchen, but i ( Read more... )

life sucks...it really does. i love ryan n such...hes not been takin his meds...which is bad. he got so pissed at misa when he found out she had broken up with josh. thats not like him. hes a flippin pacifist, so that says somethin bout ryan bein mad. im really concerned about how all this will affect the four of us. we were such good friends, i ( Read more... )