Season's Greetings
One of those awful Christmas letters.
Fuzzy Bear Farm
December, 2004
Hey Folks, Happy Holidays from all of us, yes, even those pesky sheep. The farmers here are too lazy to write to all of you, and when we reminded them that they should, they asked why we didn't do it ourselves if we were so smart. Let us tell you, figuring out how to use a keyboard when you only have hooves is a bit of a challenge, but we managed. That's me, Asher, on the right. My brother Archie prefers to dictate. He always wants to tell me what to do, but in the interest of getting this done, I decided to cooperate.
Seems it has been at least two years since some of you have heard from us, so we'll hit a few of the high spots as we see them. The first sheep arrived three years ago, but there was only one so we didn't think much about him. Then he got some girl friends and the next thing we knew, there were lambs arriving. Sheep eat a lot of hay, and we were concerned about running out, but so far that hasn't happened. They are noisy critters too. Fortunately they live in the other barn with the girls.
Oh yeah, the girls. Gary Lee brought home this lady named Tess about two years ago. We thought she was pretty stuck up (her real name is Contessa, no less,) because she didn't seem to want anything to do with us. He kept her in the other barn anyway so we didn't see much of her. Then there was a lot of commotion late that spring, in the middle of the night no less. It seems the lady was in a family way, and we hadn't realized it. When we finally all got out into the pasture to meet the new arrival, she turned out to be cute as a button and sharp as a farrier's knife. She would even chat with us over the fence when her mom let her come over that way. Now Miss Dawn (that's her name: Cherokee Dawn FB) is a yearling, going on two, and as spoiled as you could wish for. (Did we say that? Yes, we did.)
Then there are the chickens. Well, sort of. The chickens don't really live here, but they spend an awful lot of time here just the same. The new neighbors on the west side got a bunch of little chicks and a couple of geese and they've all been making themselves at home in our paddock and under the bird feeders. We keep dropping hints about roast goose and chicken dinners, but so far the population has stayed the same.
And there are the bees. We only get a glimpse of those when we go out to the pasture, but we've seen Gary Francis running around in a strange outfit with a veil. Sometimes he is pulling wagonloads of white wooden boxes. We thought pulling stuff was our job, but he won't let us near the beehives and maybe that's for the best. We're sure we've seen him hurrying along with a few angry bees following him once or twice. We did hear that he has hives in two locations now, six of them here and two on another farm. So far he hasn't given us any honey to taste, so we don't approve of bees either.
And there was no garden this summer. Gary Francis does most of the gardening because Gary Lee still works full time (and, we think, because he doesn't approve of Gary Lee's gardening methods.) This year he was away in the city so much that he never got the garden planted. No green beans and no snow peas for us to taste. We were going to object, but then we found out it was because he was busy helping his godmother with her affairs. She was very ill, and when we learned that she had passed away we felt a little guilty about complaining. Maybe there will be a garden again next year. In spite of all that, there were finally some apples on the trees that he and Gary Lee planted five years ago. Two whole apples. We think they kept them all for themselves.
Anyway, we know there is enough hay this winter because we've seen loads of it arriving. No matter how much Tess and Dawn eat, there should be plenty for us. Oh, no, wait, what about the sheep? They seem to eat an awful lot. They turn it all into “Baaah, baaah” and more lambs, and not much else that we can see. What a waste. If only we could go back to the days when there were just the two of us and a few rabbits. Rabbits don't eat much at all. Better still, they don't “Baah” or “Cluck” or “Honk” or “Whinny”. We like it peaceful while we eat, so we can hear each other crunch. After all, we have to know who finished first.
So that's all the news, at least all that we think matters. We do wish you a safe and happy holiday, and remind you that only you can prevent sheep. Eat more lamb!
--Asher & Archie
Fuzzy Bear Farm
December, 2004
Hey Folks, Happy Holidays from all of us, yes, even those pesky sheep. The farmers here are too lazy to write to all of you, and when we reminded them that they should, they asked why we didn't do it ourselves if we were so smart. Let us tell you, figuring out how to use a keyboard when you only have hooves is a bit of a challenge, but we managed. That's me, Asher, on the right. My brother Archie prefers to dictate. He always wants to tell me what to do, but in the interest of getting this done, I decided to cooperate.
Seems it has been at least two years since some of you have heard from us, so we'll hit a few of the high spots as we see them. The first sheep arrived three years ago, but there was only one so we didn't think much about him. Then he got some girl friends and the next thing we knew, there were lambs arriving. Sheep eat a lot of hay, and we were concerned about running out, but so far that hasn't happened. They are noisy critters too. Fortunately they live in the other barn with the girls.
Oh yeah, the girls. Gary Lee brought home this lady named Tess about two years ago. We thought she was pretty stuck up (her real name is Contessa, no less,) because she didn't seem to want anything to do with us. He kept her in the other barn anyway so we didn't see much of her. Then there was a lot of commotion late that spring, in the middle of the night no less. It seems the lady was in a family way, and we hadn't realized it. When we finally all got out into the pasture to meet the new arrival, she turned out to be cute as a button and sharp as a farrier's knife. She would even chat with us over the fence when her mom let her come over that way. Now Miss Dawn (that's her name: Cherokee Dawn FB) is a yearling, going on two, and as spoiled as you could wish for. (Did we say that? Yes, we did.)
Then there are the chickens. Well, sort of. The chickens don't really live here, but they spend an awful lot of time here just the same. The new neighbors on the west side got a bunch of little chicks and a couple of geese and they've all been making themselves at home in our paddock and under the bird feeders. We keep dropping hints about roast goose and chicken dinners, but so far the population has stayed the same.
And there are the bees. We only get a glimpse of those when we go out to the pasture, but we've seen Gary Francis running around in a strange outfit with a veil. Sometimes he is pulling wagonloads of white wooden boxes. We thought pulling stuff was our job, but he won't let us near the beehives and maybe that's for the best. We're sure we've seen him hurrying along with a few angry bees following him once or twice. We did hear that he has hives in two locations now, six of them here and two on another farm. So far he hasn't given us any honey to taste, so we don't approve of bees either.
And there was no garden this summer. Gary Francis does most of the gardening because Gary Lee still works full time (and, we think, because he doesn't approve of Gary Lee's gardening methods.) This year he was away in the city so much that he never got the garden planted. No green beans and no snow peas for us to taste. We were going to object, but then we found out it was because he was busy helping his godmother with her affairs. She was very ill, and when we learned that she had passed away we felt a little guilty about complaining. Maybe there will be a garden again next year. In spite of all that, there were finally some apples on the trees that he and Gary Lee planted five years ago. Two whole apples. We think they kept them all for themselves.
Anyway, we know there is enough hay this winter because we've seen loads of it arriving. No matter how much Tess and Dawn eat, there should be plenty for us. Oh, no, wait, what about the sheep? They seem to eat an awful lot. They turn it all into “Baaah, baaah” and more lambs, and not much else that we can see. What a waste. If only we could go back to the days when there were just the two of us and a few rabbits. Rabbits don't eat much at all. Better still, they don't “Baah” or “Cluck” or “Honk” or “Whinny”. We like it peaceful while we eat, so we can hear each other crunch. After all, we have to know who finished first.
So that's all the news, at least all that we think matters. We do wish you a safe and happy holiday, and remind you that only you can prevent sheep. Eat more lamb!
--Asher & Archie